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Author Topic: How did/do you handled a gambling addict story.  (Read 930 times)
Lida93 (OP)
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May 28, 2024, 08:37:04 AM
 #21

Are gambling addicts really that open to talking to people? I have only been reading about gambling addicts stories online and have not come across any one that comes out to talk to me in the open; even the guys whom I suspect to be addicted to gambling don't even admit to it, talk more about sharing their pains with me.
They are not that open, howbeit, some of them seldom do. And for the very few that are able to bolster muscles to be open to share and later get a rude response they get so hurt and pained more than the pains the gambling addiction is giving them. The implication will be that when those that can't speak out gets to know how the person that was able to share his feelings was treated or the response he got, they on the other side will incline to agree that staying quiet about their addictive struggle is far better. And this is because not everyone can handle criticism.

Gambling addiction can be very terrible and frustrating that it affects both your financial and emotional wellbeing.  There are lots of gamblers out there in the open struggling with gambling addiction  wishing to share their pains with someone who could understand, but they don't actually know the right person(s) to confide in about the pains they bear as they fear that they will be judged, criticized and the rest.

I had this conversation with a stranger today, he had to tell me a few things he's struggling with with his gambling habit and how he had tried to put an end to it but finds himself going back to same habits thereafter. And he felt that  talking to somebody about it will help his state but instead the person he felt comfortable talking to about was so judgemental towards him which had made him resort to self-help but nothing has really changed.

Has anyone gambling addict shared his situation with you and how did you handled it? please come clean about it let's learn from each other.
But in any he did share it to someone that he is comfortable, then that person is not the right individual to tell our stories. Or maybe that friend just using reverse psychology to make him quit his gambling. The question is, what effect does it have to addict hearing that judgement that he had received, did he take it constructively or not?
It's possible you may not know who might be the right people to share issues like addiction with, some persons by outlook might appear to be the right person to intimate with but until you get to hear how they awful they had to respond that's when you know... By then it's too late, cause a negative feeling has already being created.

And talking about reverse psychology technique, it's not with cases of addiction that such technique should seem proper to use. The least they will expect of you is to pull of words of indictment on them at that point. Gambling addiction is like a sickness and as a sick patient they are, it's expected they be treated in that manner of a sick patient, not in reverse.



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May 28, 2024, 08:42:16 AM
 #22

Nah, no one ever shared this kind of problem with me, even my friends. I guess you are right, they are afraid to share because they might be judged or criticized without even telling the story yet.
But, I do know people who are struggling with it, although they are just silent about it. I think it's also the pride and ego which is why they won't tell anyone. I do like open people though and I would be direct to tell what I see or feel. It's not like everything can be cured by good words, sometimes they only just make it worse.
Sometimes, it's better to tell them the truth, what is real, or what he is suffering about because that might be the right words that they are longing to hear instead of fake dramas that would just urge them to gamble again.
I don't know, I have not tried it yet but I do believe that's what I am going to do.

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May 28, 2024, 08:50:49 AM
 #23

We have two topics where majority confirm that gambling should be kept in secret, and all of a sudden a stranger comes with a talk about his addiction. Addicted people rarely notice that they are addicted, but this time addicted person was the one to make first move. I find this situation strange. I would say that this person was not only gambling addicted, but also being crazy or psycho. Or maybe I not used to seeing people share their problems with others and ask for help (usually people only complain when they find so called "free ears"). If I was to help gambling addicted person, I would better direct him to a specialist.

R


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harapan
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May 28, 2024, 08:52:28 AM
 #24

Are gambling addicts really that open to talking to people? I have only been reading about gambling addicts stories online and have not come across any one that comes out to talk to me in the open; even the guys whom I suspect to be addicted to gambling don't even admit to it, talk more about sharing their pains with me.
 
If any comes to me, I will definitely still reciprocate the same advice that I share here on the forum with the person: either they seek professional help or he should embrace his family more, as they are the only ones that can render him the help he needs and distract him from the addiction a bit.


Alot of people tend not to Open up sincerely speaking to share their ordeals about gambling cause they feel they would be criticised,and it's fear of being criticised that makes them unable to err out their feels but in a nutshell I see this this as a priveledge of educating them in the advantage and disadvantages of gambling cause alot of gamblers were not given orientation of how things are done and they end up becoming addicts regretting their decisions.

No one has ever walked up to me but I was priveledge to talk to a friend that came begging for an assistant to gamble with,I was so vexed when I discovered it and sat him down and talk to him at length and tell him all he needs to know.so definitely it turned out good that now he's limited his habits of gambling.
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May 28, 2024, 10:48:06 AM
 #25


I had this conversation with a stranger today, he had to tell me a few things he's struggling with with his gambling habit and how he had tried to put an end to it but finds himself going back to same habits thereafter. And he felt that  talking to somebody about it will help his state but instead the person he felt comfortable talking to about was so judgemental towards him which had made him resort to self-help but nothing has really changed.

Has anyone gambling addict shared his situation with you and how did you handled it? please come clean about it let's learn from each other.

Actually it’s not that easy to see an addict that will be willing to just come to you and tell you his situation so that you’d help them. Most of them tend to keep it to themselves will majority of them don’t even realize that they are addicted to gambling - to them they just love gambling that why they keep playing the way they do, not realizing that it’s slowly becoming a dangerous thing for them.

I haven’t encountered them personally, but the ones I have heard of are mostly afraid of telling others about their addiction (those that are aware that they are addicted to gambling) because often when they do, instead of receiving help from the person they get looked at judgementally, and that lower their self esteem even more.

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May 28, 2024, 10:55:15 AM
 #26

One thing i have come to realize in this life is that it is difficult to find the right person to confide to. People prefer keeping things to themselves rather than sharing it with anyone. When i was growing up i had kept this saying in mind ' a problem shared is a problem solved' Now am an adult i see the opposite of what they say. Sharing your problems for someone to give you an advice or help you solved them they instead make it worst and difficult for you to comprehend.

In my opinion i think gambling problems can be shared to people we feel can help us but to be honest it is something that can be solved by ourselves. No one can help us solve it unless we go into action and eliminate such addictions. It will be difficult but trust me it is worth it, i have been in that case and i know how it feels.

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May 28, 2024, 12:05:14 PM
 #27

I don't think it's always common to see a gambler addict tell you about their gambling ordeal, that they need help to come out from it. What you hear most from addicted gamblers is how they miss hitting the jackpot on their gambling predictions by losing to a game after they have predicted 10 games correctly.

To them, they don't see themselves as addicted gamblers, but rather as someone who's trying to win big and get back their lost money from gambling. They believe they will do that someday to "get back their losses". 

A gambler who has this kind of mentality does he seek advice from people? No, I guess. That's the main problem, "gamblers finding it hard to accept they are addicted to gambling".

It's when one has accepted they are addicted to gambling, that's when they will seek for help they desire. Anyway, it's very hard for addicted gamblers to get the help they need if they don't accept the fact that gambling doesn't give them riches but rather accumulates financial losses.

A gambler can be advised today, but the possibility of seeing him or her the next day in a gambling house is there. Most addicted gamblers I know quit gambling when they have lost a lot of their fortune in gambling. Their experience in gambling made them to have to rethink their gambling lifestyle, to minimize or quit gambling.

R


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May 28, 2024, 12:36:29 PM
 #28

Has anyone gambling addict shared his situation with you and how did you handled it? please come clean about it let's learn from each other.

The stories and scenarios that you said are true in the gambling world and I think most gamblers have experienced it whether they are a listener or an addict looking for the right place to tell their story, and yes I also have one of my gambling partners who is my own friend but not too close to me, He talked about how he had lost two of his personal vehicles which he sold for gambling capital and afterwards regret dominated him and he also told me that he recently lost his gadget which he unconsciously damaged by throwing it against the wall due to losing a significant amount of money.

And I think we can already imagine how significant the pressure is that he's feeling, I really feel sorry for him because it's a really desperate situation, he wants to quit but it's hard. And to be honest I am one of those gamblers who has now recovered from addiction which I have my own method which is to always try to occupy myself with various other activities when my desire to gamble relapses, and also I block various accesses that can make it easier for myself to gamble such as blocking bank accounts and others, and this is a really effective way for me which in 2 months I managed to eliminate the desire to gamble along with the curiosity in me regarding gambling which is the method that I suggested to my friend by telling the steps slowly, and if you don't believe then please try this method, and let me know if this method works for you. Wink

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May 28, 2024, 12:38:56 PM
 #29


Has anyone gambling addict shared his situation with you and how did you handled it? please come clean about it let's learn from each other.

I handled this kind of experience before, I had someone very close to me and it's my brother. One afternoon when I was to go out with my friends and suddenly he called me and I did go to his home, and suddenly he tells me his side of his story and how he losses around $400 which is like a big money more than 20 years ago.

And he started to cry to me, because he don't know what happen to him as he told he lost control.

Worst of it, he did the walk of shame as he doesn't have any money to even take a cab. That time he still hasn't had his car as it took several years for him to do that. So I lend him the next day the money that he has lost. But if it others though, I might not do the same and loan some money.

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May 28, 2024, 01:35:25 PM
 #30

God has had mercy on me, and I am not on the list of gambling addicts, but I know those who play and spend all their money as soon as they have it. If you think about whether addicted people want liberation from their passions, the majority do not even admit that they have such a problem. This is tantamount to drug addiction, and no drug addict will ever say that he is sick. He will make excuses, saying that gaming or drugs simply relax him, but such people are unlikely to be able to get rid of it on their own. There are specialist psychologists, but their services are very expensive; it is unlikely that a player will spend money on psychologists when he has thoughts of spending it on the game. There are cases when people cope with their illness, but as statistics show, such cases are very few. Therefore, it is necessary to be very sensitive to those who, in our opinion, are losing control of the game, and before they become deeply dependent, help them out in every way.

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May 28, 2024, 01:45:08 PM
 #31

God has had mercy on me, and I am not on the list of gambling addicts, but I know those who play and spend all their money as soon as they have it. If you think about whether addicted people want liberation from their passions, the majority do not even admit that they have such a problem. This is tantamount to drug addiction, and no drug addict will ever say that he is sick. He will make excuses, saying that gaming or drugs simply relax him, but such people are unlikely to be able to get rid of it on their own. There are specialist psychologists, but their services are very expensive; it is unlikely that a player will spend money on psychologists when he has thoughts of spending it on the game. There are cases when people cope with their illness, but as statistics show, such cases are very few. Therefore, it is necessary to be very sensitive to those who, in our opinion, are losing control of the game, and before they become deeply dependent, help them out in every way.
However addition is similar to mental illness and people that are mad won't agree that they are mad at all. Gamble additions starts gradually process and many addicted gamblers won't agree that one day they took will ever become addicted gamblers during the early days that they started gambling. Few gamblers don't believe that addition is real until the finally become addicted and by God grace they managed to realize that they were ones addicted to gamble.
However, there are few things one should know so that he/she won't be an addicted gambling in future.
1 Never chase your loses.
2 Never borrow money to gamble.
3 Gamble is not a method for side hustle.
4 Always risk what you can afford to lose.
There are also more to it but for me, this are the most important ones, one should avoid if he/she don't want to become addicted to gamble.

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May 28, 2024, 01:47:43 PM
 #32

Gambling addiction can be very terrible and frustrating that it affects both your financial and emotional wellbeing.  There are lots of gamblers out there in the open struggling with gambling addiction  wishing to share their pains with someone who could understand, but they don't actually know the right person(s) to confide in about the pains they bear as they fear that they will be judged, criticized and the rest.

I had this conversation with a stranger today, he had to tell me a few things he's struggling with with his gambling habit and how he had tried to put an end to it but finds himself going back to same habits thereafter. And he felt that  talking to somebody about it will help his state but instead the person he felt comfortable talking to about was so judgemental towards him which had made him resort to self-help but nothing has really changed.

Has anyone gambling addict shared his situation with you and how did you handled it? please come clean about it let's learn from each other.

One thing that's is certain about gamblers is that, at one point or the other in our gambling journey we must have experience some kind of addiction traits in one way or the other, and the only way to get out of that situation is when you realise you are going to far in gambling. However I understand how it feel to confine some pains all because there is no one to share your thoughts with that will understand and bound with you, but if such persons is not careful with their decisions they might end up intensifying the whole addiction situation. Aside waiting to be comforted by a physical friend, the gambler could visit some blogs that are motivational in respect to gambling, or even watch video online were some therapy or even experience gamblers shares their ideas to help other gambling escape addiction.

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May 28, 2024, 01:55:00 PM
 #33

In terms of receiving stories, I just ask general questions like
  • How did it start?
  • Is there something being done with the addiction?

It's most likely an upbringing thing when they become addicted or become something like a problem when someone encounters gambling. It's always going to be that way IMO. That starts because he/she is coping with something. 

The best way is to support the person in terms of not being angry or resentful of them. As long as they accept that they are addicted, it's a step. Then the needed thing is to continue to do something about it.

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May 28, 2024, 02:01:29 PM
 #34


Has anyone gambling addict shared his situation with you and how did you handled it? please come clean about it let's learn from each other.

For me it is not a direct story from the addict but I have been opportuned to hear from an addict who was raising losing concerns to some group of friends on how he has been losing since the past week while his friends have had some winnings at least few of them. He was advised to be realistic with his bet and stop going for too many games rather to bet lon games with lower odds. So at a point it became a discussion among the gamblers there on why people lose more than win. So I added to say betting on unrealistic bets because of winning big money is also part of the reason. I didn't condemn but advised to be reasonable with his bet and not to always look at potential profit but to go for games that could be easier to win.

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May 28, 2024, 02:20:47 PM
 #35

Actually it’s not that easy to see an addict that will be willing to just come to you and tell you his situation so that you’d help them. Most of them tend to keep it to themselves will majority of them don’t even realize that they are addicted to gambling - to them they just love gambling that why they keep playing the way they do, not realizing that it’s slowly becoming a dangerous thing for them.

I haven’t encountered them personally, but the ones I have heard of are mostly afraid of telling others about their addiction (those that are aware that they are addicted to gambling) because often when they do, instead of receiving help from the person they get looked at judgementally, and that lower their self esteem even more.

I myself have never found an addict who wanted to come to me to tell me about his situation, but I once found an addict who came to me but his goal was to borrow money. Honestly, it's very annoying, not even just once when he didn't get a loan today he came back tomorrow with the same goal of wanting to borrow money. Of course I won't lend it because if they dare to do that, it means they are addicted to gambling. Every now and then I often say that to reduce their gambling, it's even better to just stop, but that doesn't make them stop. they still lend money to my other friends.

Sometimes with those who are addicted to gambling, I feel sorry when I see them having financial difficulties, but even though I'm a person who feels sorry easily, I won't help them by lending money or even giving them money because I think they will only be used to gamble again. There are even those who are addicted to gambling and borrow money but have other reasons, saying it is to meet their needs, but I have heard from other people that the money from the loan is actually used for gambling and that is very annoying. with those who are addicted to gambling and tell their family about the situation, I think they will feel embarrassed and it can actually lower their self-esteem.

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May 28, 2024, 02:47:00 PM
 #36


I saw a movie about a social group for gambling addicts just talking about their struggle to get out of this habit. They eventually become friends for life and help each other. So if you are open to sharing how you handle your addiction, I think you may also be interested in joining a group offline. There is no substitute for something more real like having physical friends nearby who just as struggling addiction like you do.


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May 28, 2024, 03:21:31 PM
 #37


I saw a movie about a social group for gambling addicts just talking about their struggle to get out of this habit. They eventually become friends for life and help each other. So if you are open to sharing how you handle your addiction, I think you may also be interested in joining a group offline. There is no substitute for something more real like having physical friends nearby who just as struggling addiction like you do.

Groups like this actually exists, it comprises of people who have one thing that they are facing and are scared to talk to others about it due to the possibility of them being judge so all of them would come together and start talking about their problem one after the other. And in cases like this it’s impossible for anyone to judge you there since you’re all in the same situation all that would ensure there would be empathy for themselves and the addict might even be relieved that someone actually listened to them without being judged.

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blckhawk
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May 28, 2024, 03:24:50 PM
 #38

I saw a movie about a social group for gambling addicts just talking about their struggle to get out of this habit. They eventually become friends for life and help each other. So if you are open to sharing how you handle your addiction, I think you may also be interested in joining a group offline. There is no substitute for something more real like having physical friends nearby who just as struggling addiction like you do.
What's the title of the movie, seems to be an interesting thing to watch. In that situation, it's such a really good thing to show to people that finding solace can be a really good way to make sure that you're going to be successful in what you're trying to accomplish and basing on what you said, it's a really good thing too that there are people that can relate to what you're going through because sometimes it's hard that you're suffering from addiction, you almost always feel like you're all alone and that people can understand you. Regarding stories of addicts, I only have met people that are drug addicts so I'm not so sure if their stories are going to be the same, maybe in general, addiction can led you to do stupid and illegal things.
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May 28, 2024, 03:54:57 PM
 #39

I've only read stories of gambling addicts and how they suffer from it, and have never met them in person. However, if I met them, maybe I would listen more to what they feel and as much as possible would not judge them, because actually these addicts just want to be heard and if we sympathize with them more, maybe they will be more open to input we give. Unless these addicts are aggressive and uncooperative, then I would probably ignore it and not say anything to him because people like this are very difficult to deal with, and it is best to leave it to professionals.

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May 28, 2024, 04:10:36 PM
 #40

Once, but it didn't last long because he said don't tell me to stop playing because I've been playing for a long time and spent a lot of money at the start of the conversation.
Just listen while watching him play on the smartphone. The gambling that is played is not in crypto, but fiat currency.

I didn't deny what he told me because almost every day I saw how he gambled. The smallest deposit is 3 million in fiat currency and in a day he makes 3 to 4 deposits.
There was no response from me when he told me why he continued playing even though his intention to stop had been there for a long time because he himself initially said don't tell me to stop.
You have said very good things to your friends, it is difficult to tell someone who is addicted to gambling, as if they are an expert in that field, or have been playing for a long time or understand the pattern of the system they are playing, even though on the contrary they are trapped in the same system. created by the site developer or bookie. In my opinion, if we have told them but they don't listen or are indifferent, I think just let them do what they want, then they will automatically realize that their possessions have disappeared one by one.

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