Must we call it a mistake?

[Sexylizzy2813]

In our society today we the young ones love to explore, do things that sometimes we regret and beat ourselves about it but yet the actions we make can't be reversed. We the youth always get ourselves in situations that we can't handle and never ready for, we know right from when we choose to do it, although is few who are ready to take responsibility for their actions.
In the case where a boy and a girl are in love, start up a relationship there must be sex and having sex in a relationship it comes with a price, PREGNANCY. When it happens that the girl is pregnant they always use "it was a Mistake, I made a mistake" as an excuse to judge their actions, why must we the youth call the result of having sex when we're not prepared for a Mistake? Can we also say the pregnancy is a mistake when the child has grown (that's for those who kept it) to become somebody special in the society? Can we also say it to our child's face that we ones called them a mistake?
Let's have your feel about this because to me I don't think is right or proper to use the term "we made a mistake or this pregnancy is a mistake" What's your take on this?

[mu_enrico]

The society is messed up in this area. Humans are fighting with nature since:
- It's way easier to get pregnant when we are young and it's harder when we are in the modern marital age
- Our sex activity is also higher when we are young and it's lower when we are in the modern marital age
- The baby is more likely to be healthy/normal when we are young and the chance decreases when we are in the modern marital age
- And then based on my anecdotal evidence, from people around me, there's still a chance (and it's not that low) of getting pregnant even if you use a condom or whatever.

So it's not a mistake, but pretty much biology at work. Basically, he's lucky if he can get away with sex without making her pregnant. It's not a mistake but pretty much a stroke of slightly bad luck depending on where you stand.

And here's the important thing: nowadays, especially in developed countries, the birth rate is declining because people are afraid of having a child while they are young, and they want it when they are in their 30s or 40s, which is substantially difficult, hence fertility problems and expensive IVF. So if people think they want a stable career, house, etc. before starting to have a family. It will all be futile after they get all those fertility problems. And don't forget about the increase of genetic diseases as well.

Therefore to those who get pregnant but are not yet married, it's a gift really. You save at least $10,000 in the future, and many people spend way more than that for getting pregnant, and many fail.

[Ndabagi01]

In the case where a boy and a girl are in love, start up a relationship there must be sex and having sex in a relationship it comes with a price, PREGNANCY.

When a boy and a girl have relationship, having sex is a choice and not mandatory for them to have it. It is a choice and no one can make it obligatory on you unless you guys come to a conclusion. Even the pregnancy can be avoided if you both don’t want to have it. It is carelessness in relationship that causes it and not a mistake. No one is born a mistake even if they’re not ready to have it.

Let's have your feel about this because to me I don't think is right or proper to use the term "we made a mistake or this pregnancy is a mistake" What's your take on this?

Nothing should be called a mistake and anyone that is found guilty of those should take the full responsibility of it. For a boy and a girl to be in that level in which they can impregnate each other, it has become a responsibility of them to take whatever the outcome of such carelessness will be. They know fully well the repercussions, why then engaging in such acts without thinking about it.

[coolcoinz]

When a boy and a girl have relationship, having sex is a choice and not mandatory for them to have it. It is a choice and no one can make it obligatory on you unless you guys come to a conclusion. Even the pregnancy can be avoided if you both don’t want to have it. It is carelessness in relationship that causes it and not a mistake. No one is born a mistake even if they’re not ready to have it.

Exactly. When I met my wife for the first time and we started dating, it would take us a while before we decided to have sex and it was always with mutual agreement that we don't want kids yet and it worked completely fine for us. I say the way it is: if you're not careless, you won't have kids. Contraception is almost perfect nowadays, you just have to use it and know how to use it well. For instance, girls think that if they skip a pill they can take two in its place, or that it will start working from the first day they start taking it, and so on.

Education is the key. Many people have unwanted children because they're simply uneducated and they don't think, just do. It's the same situation we have with drunk drivers. It's so easy not to drive drunk, but you have to think. Turn off your brain and you'll make stupid mistakes because that's what it is. Kids shouldn't be having kids. I know your body is well prepared to bear children at the age of 15 or 16, but that doesn't mean you should.

[Hispo]

I believe those cases of pregnancy are very situational and very depending on the personal situation of both parents, to be honest. It is not a general issue but rather a collection of situations. For example, there are young people who are very irresponsible and have unprotected sexual intercourse and yet, then they end up with pregnancy, they accept their child not as a mistake of their recklessness but rather as a blessing, they end up getting married and they have a stable household.
Though, in the honor of the truth, it is more likely those pregnancies are not accepted as blessings, but as something completely unexpected and undesirable at first.

[peter0425]

In the case where a boy and a girl are in love, start up a relationship there must be sex and having sex in a relationship it comes with a price, PREGNANCY.

First of all the word “must” is wrong. Yes you can be in love with someone but you don’t have to do anything with them just to express your love. Some people wait until marriage and it’s totally possible.

Second, if you don’t want to wait you can just practice safe sex. A relationship does not always have to result in pregnancy.

When it happens that the girl is pregnant they always use "it was a Mistake, I made a mistake" as an excuse to judge their actions, why must we the youth call the result of having sex when we're not prepared for a Mistake?

I don’t understand. It really is a mistake because they shouldn’t have done it in the first place fully knowing they weren’t yet ready for the responsibility they will bear.

Can we also say the pregnancy is a mistake when the child has grown (that's for those who kept it) to become somebody special in the society? Can we also say it to our child's face that we ones called them a mistake?

I don’t think you should take it personally if someone were to call their pregnancy a mistake. Pregnancy will not be the same as when you give birth. Of course when you already have the child, you should do your best to make them feel loved no matter how big of a mistake it was. Own up to your mistake and give your child a nice life.

Do not try to romanticize teenage pregnancy or unplanned pregnancy. Both the mother and the child suffer during a pregnancy that was not planned.

[Sexylizzy2813]

Many people put sex first when starting a relationship and I say to those set of people that they use their di*k to think and they know is a 50/50 thing to either get pregnant or not. Things are not as easy as we see it so being mindful of how we make decisions is important. The girls on the other hand are the ones who carries everything and they're the ones who chooses to keep or remove the pregnancy in some cases, sometimes the guys are the ones who call the shots.
Using love as an excuse to get a girl to open her legs is wrong, I'd say if as a guy you want to get into a relationship you first of all have it in mind that if it happens that she gets pregnant you have a role to play and I don't advise any to go for abortion. Sometimes student are the ones that always say getting pregnant was a mistake and some after keeping the pregnancy and the child grow old you see the girls (some) hating the innocent child like is their fault, for you to start something that you're not ready makes you say things you're not suppose to, is best to not start it at all other than saying the pregnancy, the unborn child is a mistake.

[Kelward]

A man and a woman can have consensual sex for fun without the intention of having a child and when it happens they blame it on mistake. It's not an acceptable mistake because they must've known the implications and a probable outcome of their act, they're two irresponsible people who should know that in this age there are contraceptives to avoid pregnancies. Ignorance is not an excuse to escape the reality of their action so they need to accept the result rather than blaming it on mistakes.

I think that women are more affected in an unwanted pregnancy because they're the ones that carries it and after giving birth they're the ones that will nurse their babies, keeping their education or careers on hold. Even when they decide to go for an abortion, it's the woman that risks her life, so women should be more resistant when it comes to having unprotected sex if they're not ready for pregnancy.

[Sexylizzy2813]

In the case where a boy and a girl are in love, start up a relationship there must be sex and having sex in a relationship it comes with a price, PREGNANCY.

First of all the word “must” is wrong. Yes you can be in love with someone but you don’t have to do anything with them just to express your love. Some people wait until marriage and it’s totally possible.

Second, if you don’t want to wait you can just practice safe sex. A relationship does not always have to result in pregnancy.

Waiting till you get married is very difficult and the guy will use it against the girl that she doesn't love him if not she would have let him get inside of her and it also make the guy cheat just to rub it on her face, same goes to the girl too. Is very hard to see someone who will be on the same page with you when it comes to relationship and no sex.
Safe sex isn't as safe as we think, with time either the girl or the boy might want it raw, like things get in the heads of we humans that we choose to do things that we regret later. If you think of taking pills to prevent pregnancy better know that you can't be too certain that you'll always remember.

[Wiwo]

Any young person who want to explore they sexual escape won't prepare for pregnancy because pregnancy is reserved for those who are legally married and ready to have kid's in the relationship, but when the young forks get stock in the game, it either the guy failed to use protection or the girls used the wrong pills, so the term the outcome as mistakes.

The best form of protection against unwanted pregnancy is abstinence from sex by young one, engaging their time on more profitable things will help alot along the way.

[famososMuertos]

What the hell are you talking about... it's a mistake for the people involved when they decide to take it like that, but a life that comes into this world is never a mistake, what are you saying, you can't have such a mediocre point of view.

Understand the point, it is a life, a human being, it is something wonderful, error is a word, an adjective, the mentality of seeing it as an error afterward is a totally wrong way of thinking, there is the error, you know, in seeing it as something that was not planned then you describe it that way... But the individual himself, the product of that non-planning, as you should call him, is a wonderful being.

[passwordnow]

When it happens that the girl is pregnant they always use "it was a Mistake, I made a mistake" as an excuse to judge their actions, why must we the youth call the result of having sex when we're not prepared for a Mistake?

You chose it, it is not a mistake that there's a fruit after love making and it's your choice. Don't put the blame to the innocent baby. Put the blame to yourselves for doing unsafe sex.

Can we also say the pregnancy is a mistake when the child has grown (that's for those who kept it) to become somebody special in the society?
Can we also say it to our child's face that we ones called them a mistake?

I think that I always get to see this on the movies that a kid was made out of mistake. We're already on 2024, and people should appreciate that each life that is out there is precious and not a mistake. That's gonna be hard for that kid to grow up when that's been said to him/her that they're made out of their parents mistake. The emotional impact of it is heavy and a cycle might happen and that kid will do the same as their parents did.

Let's have your feel about this because to me I don't think is right or proper to use the term "we made a mistake or this pregnancy is a mistake" What's your take on this?

Again, the kid didn't choose to be born on this world when no two person mated and did it.

[SmartCharpa]

In our society today we the young ones love to explore, do things that sometimes we regret and beat ourselves about it but yet the actions we make can't be reversed. We the youth always get ourselves in situations that we can't handle and never ready for, we know right from when we choose to do it, although is few who are ready to take responsibility for their actions.
In the case where a boy and a girl are in love, start up a relationship there must be sex and having sex in a relationship it comes with a price, PREGNANCY. When it happens that the girl is pregnant they always use "it was a Mistake, I made a mistake" as an excuse to judge their actions, why must we the youth call the result of having sex when we're not prepared for a Mistake? Can we also say the pregnancy is a mistake when the child has grown (that's for those who kept it) to become somebody special in the society? Can we also say it to our child's face that we ones called them a mistake?
Let's have your feel about this because to me I don't think is right or proper to use the term "we made a mistake or this pregnancy is a mistake" What's your take on this?

Mistake? To me having sexual contact at a young age that results in pregnancy is not a mistake, both genders did it and both enjoyed what they did, so why are they going to say that it was the work of the devil? When they start having fun, they are not blind. Did you know that some young people are stubborn? They know that what they want to do may result in pregnancy, so why don't they use protection in the first place for their safety? Relationships are not just about having sex, but still we the youth of today, use relationships just to have fun with our partners. However, if two young people have sexual contact and become pregnant, I do not consider it a mistake since they know what they are doing, and they are not kids to use protection for their safety.

If a situation like this happens in which the two people have no choice but to accept responsibility, some people may poison the child they give birth. Many people believe that when a child is born, he or she has ruined their life plan.

[Sexylizzy2813]

Mistake? To me having sexual contact at a young age that results in pregnancy is not a mistake, both genders did it and both enjoyed what they did, so why are they going to say that it was the work of the devil? When they start having fun, they are not blind. Did you know that some young people are stubborn? They know that what they want to do may result in pregnancy, so why don't they use protection in the first place for their safety? Relationships are not just about having sex, but still we the youth of today, use relationships just to have fun with our partners. However, if two young people have sexual contact and become pregnant, I do not consider it a mistake since they know what they are doing, and they are not kids to use protection for their safety.

If a situation like this happens in which the two people have no choice but to accept responsibility, some people may poison the child they give birth. Many people believe that when a child is born, he or she has ruined their life plan.

Both genders do enjoy the pleasure in having sex and when it result to pregnancy they find it difficult to enjoy it just the same way they enjoyed it while having sex. The fun youth do have while trying things makes them forget that everything comes with a price if not careful, when it turns out to be bad they look for whom to blame and things start running round their head to start saying crazy things, some might even curse the day they were born as a result of they don't know how to go about it or they find it hard to take responsibility.
Some people use out of fear to say they made a mistake, children are gift from God almighty and due to I want to have fun and I'm too young for the pregnancy makes us do some crazy things as to think of abortion just to continue our life which I don't feel is the best. Ones the pregnancy comes we need both the help of the parents of girls and the boy, because parents sees early pregnancy as a disgrace and it makes the children to take some actions that's not called for and also say stupid things.

[Vod]

What the hell are you talking about... it's a mistake for the people involved when they decide to take it like that, but a life that comes into this world is never a mistake, what are you saying, you can't have such a mediocre point of view.

A mediocre view would be to lump everything as never a mistake.   There are many situations a life may be born unwanted.   Rape, incest, drugs, not closing the doggy door, etc.    I actually witnessed a rape in progress the other day - she was running and he was trotting after her with his penis bouncing up and down.  She was fenced in but clearly did not want new life at the time.  The farmer just looked the other way. 

AI will allow us to identify diseases that cannot be cured and allow us to abort those pregnancies before they even affect the host body.  To allow a child with an incurable disease to be born and suffer for no reason will become abuse.

[Hispo]

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My man, that is crazy... I have never witnessed a rape, not even a person running from another who is alledgely trying to rape them, that very crazy.
In the end, what happened to the woman who was running away from the rapist ? and how come some guy could be running after a woman in front of everyone and nobody intervenes? Was that guy half naked as well?
That is quite bonkers.
Here in my country, committing a rape is almost a death sentence placed upon oneself, by the way. Inmates accused and convicted for rape and humiliated, beaten, raped, tortured and finally killed by others in a very brutal way, specially if the victim was a child.
There are some videos on the internet showing the torture of rapists in my country, they are hard to watch, even knowing the sick person the tortured person is, if rape comes with a death sentence, then it would be better if the government made it legal and used conventional methods of execution, instead allowing prisoners to torture people for days.

[famososMuertos]

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Man, read carefully, we are in a specific context, with a very clear situation, don't take me out on connecting you to your ideas...all that you mention is another story, another position, read the OP.

What the hell are you talking about... it's a mistake for the people involved when they decide to take it like that, but a life that comes into this world is never a mistake, what are you saying, you can't have such a mediocre point of view.

A mediocre view would be to lump everything as never a mistake.   There are many situations a life may be born unwanted.   Rape, incest, drugs, not closing the doggy door, etc.    I actually witnessed a rape in progress the other day - she was running and he was trotting after her with his penis bouncing up and down.  She was fenced in but clearly did not want new life at the time.  The farmer just looked the other way.  

AI will allow us to identify diseases that cannot be cured and allow us to abort those pregnancies before they even affect the host body.  To allow a child with an incurable disease to be born and suffer for no reason will become abuse.

o_T

[Linggajanitra]

In my opinion, when our expectations do not match reality, that is when we will feel two mistakes. First, namely, hoping for something that is too impossible or also placing hope on those who are unable to make it happen. And this second one can be one of the main causes of losing hope, namely entrusting our lives to other humans. Facing a reality that does not match our expectations can be quite difficult for us. You must feel sad, disappointed and tired. At times like this we need to get back up and strengthen ourselves.
With an incident like that, we won't be able to change it again, right? Indeed, that is a big mistake, because getting pregnant is not legal for a man and a woman. At first it must be difficult to accept it all. Therefore we need to learn to accept reality as it is. Before we look for the reasons and causes why, we also need to accept the situation first as it is.
Because mistakes themselves are actions/decisions that do not match our expectations. Mistakes are often opportunities to learn to be better than before. We can improve ourselves based on the experience we gain from the incident. Mistakes are a very natural part of our lives. We all make mistakes at various stages of our lives today. It is important to accept mistakes as a process of learning and use these experiences to improve our quality. With reflection and self-awareness. We can also avoid making the same mistakes in the future/future and be better at facing challenges in our lives.
that's my opinion, sorry if there are mistakes and don't agree with you 

[kotajikikox]

A mediocre view would be to lump everything as never a mistake.   There are many situations a life may be born unwanted.   Rape, incest, drugs, not closing the doggy door, etc.    I actually witnessed a rape in progress the other day - she was running and he was trotting after her with his penis bouncing up and down.  She was fenced in but clearly did not want new life at the time.  The farmer just looked the other way. 

That is really devastating.

People do not know what kind of trauma a woman can go through from that. As men, we might never fully understand how it can affect us even if we can sympathize and empathize. The physical and emotional distress a woman will carry from such a mistake she did not consensually partake in requires more consideration from other people. Imagine having a child that will constantly remind you of your traumatic experience….. Even if all children are blessings, that could not have been easy for a woman.

[uneng]

People say a pregnancy is a mistake for different reasons. Maybe they weren't consciously and psychologically prepared for that event (even though they should, since they have been having sexual interactions), maybe they don't love each other and don't have long term intentions of staying together and composing a family, maybe they just meant it was the wrong time for a pregnancy to take place...

The point is that once it's done, it's done. It can't be reversed. And the consequences must be embraced by the couple. I don't think it's right to call the pregnancy or the child a mistake, as it's a disrespect to an innocent human being, especially when the ones who created that life say such things.

It should be clear that mistakes could have resulted in the pregnancy, but the pregnancy itself isn't the mistake. To transfer any kind of guilt or trauma to the child is very wrong.