Do You Have A Loved One Who Doesn't Want You To Win In Gambling

[bering]

Correct me if i am wrong but according to story which i read on OP that the wife is not complaining about her husband habit in gambling but the most problem is how does her husband habit when celebrate his gambling winnings which lead her husband to drink late into the night with friends and she starting to worried about her husband health and asking help to the neighbors to give an advices in order to stop his habit

And about OP question so far i can hide my gambling activities with very well to my loved one so she doesn't know about my habit but indeed if she knows about that then most likely she will forbid me to gamble which i don't want it happend however i think the reason for our loved ones doesn't like have a partner who have gambling habit is not because the outcome of gambling itself but in my opinion why they doesn't liked our habit is because they are worried it will have a negative impact on us

[bakasabo]

I am going to say a think not many will like: that lady will not be able to do anything about her husband gambling, drinking and having those friends around. Since they are already retired, they are in the age already, and trying to change or demanding changes in person at such age is close to impossible. Since they probably be living together for quite a long time, she and he must accept their second half they way they are.

My wife knows that I gamble from time to time. Never my gambling hobby bothered anyone. Since it does not harm anyone, does not effect our budget, I doubt that I cause any trouble to anyone. However, if my wife asks to stop or pause, I will stop gambling.

[nimogsm]

oo familiar, no I had a very similar situation with a friend and his girlfriend. He was very fond of poker and often disappeared in gambling houses at night and of course this annoyed her, but he made amends when he brought the money he won. I think the end of the story is very obvious, he got into large debts and they broke up in the end, and at the same time several friends turned away from him because he did not return the money, now he lives in another country because he had to completely start life from the beginning. This situation is completely like a plot from a movie.
The moral is very simple, don't think only about yourself. Because in the end you will be alone.

[Rruchi man]

Do you have a loved one who doesn't want you to win in gambling?

She has good reason to want her husband not to win from gambling because he uses the money for things that are not of any benefit, so there is no need to gamble when he is just endangering himself more with every win.

If she wanted the husband to stop gambling even when he uses the money he wins wisely, I could have called it witchcraft.

If I see that winning from gambling is endangering the life of a loved one, I will want them to stop winning so they don't lose their life.

[serjent05]

How about you? Do you have a loved one who doesn't want you to win in gambling?

My family reminds me not to engage myself too much in gambling to avoid getting hooked or addicted but they do not wish me to lose whenever I have my gambling session.

I believe the old lady is not lacking in terms of finances and the husband's action irritates her each time he wins.  If the old lady is lacking in finances then I do not think she will not want his husband to win, instead, She would be happy to see his husband win because the profit from winning will somehow give them monetary assistance and fill the gap in their financial needs.

I am going to say a think not many will like: that lady will not be able to do anything about her husband gambling, drinking and having those friends around. Since they are already retired, they are in the age already, and trying to change or demanding changes in person at such age is close to impossible. Since they probably be living together for quite a long time, she and he must accept their second half they way they are.

I think that the husband is stubborn, I believe the wife had already told her husband her opinion but the husband just ignored it and continued to do whatever he liked.  This is also the reason why the wife asks for help but sadly it will be hard for anyone to intervene on their situation unless the wife addresses the issue in legal way where authority will mediate the situation.

[o48o]

Why I started this topic: This really happened with my neighbor

I have a neighbor. They are both retired teachers living on their pensions, and all their children are professionals living on their own. They are just enjoying their retirement until the husband goes back to his old ways, which are cockfighting and horse racing.

He's not really allocating his pensions he gambles with money that he can afford to lose.

The problem is that whenever he wins, whatever the amount, he invites friends and neighbors to a drinking party, and his wife finds this annoying. However, he cannot argue with his husband because he just wants to enjoy his retirement by enjoying the things he loves.

His wife confesses it to us, and the wife asks us to help her make his husband lose so as to stop the drinking spree that goes overnight and might harm his health.

Of course, we declined. We told her that we'd just advise him and decline his invitation for drinks; however, the drinking spree continued every time the husband won, even without drinking partners. How about you? Do you have a loved one who doesn't want you to win in gambling?

I'll lock this thread after 40 replies or three days after.

So the problem isn't really winning from gambling, but the fact that he parties and drinks too much. And since he gets money for partying from that source, she wants him to lose. So instead focusing to main problem, she wants to dance around it.

Sounds like for some reason she doesn't want to confront him about the drinking. Maybe she believes that there would never be a solution that would suit both of them, or that his husband wouldn't just listen. Like most problems in marriages, this would also be solved by open and direct communication if they both respected each other. But as they don't know how to communicate, or trust each other, she tries to manipulate him with these kind tricks. Sounds quite toxic marriage to me.

[Ryu_Ar1]

Looking at her condition, it makes sense because after all, it seems that the wife wanted to give a deterrent effect to her husband because it was difficult to advise him to stop gambling, which they could not control. I think it is the most effective option for her husband to feel remorse for gambling even though the way it is done is very hard but the hope and goal is for good.

This kind of thing should be realized by the husband and can think that the way he is doing it is wrong. indeed no one will be melarng and not wrong either if you really want to gamble, but on the other hand we must know the limits because gambling that makes us forget everything and every time spend walti and money to gamble is actually a very extreme action to do.

[alani123]

First of all I limit who I share my online habits with. Part of the reason I don't go to land based casinos establishments is because I don't want to give people any space to be judgemental. It's really in some people's character and they can't even control themselves when they see you doing something they don't like. So really I prefer letting them live in bliss. It's the best for both sides really.   

I wouldn't judge someone unless it was extremely obvious that he was overdoing it. If you are excessive in your judgment I think nobody will listen. I too wouldn't listen to someone crying wolf of the time. So if I know some relative of mine has a bad opinion of gambling ad a whole then why would I even tell them anything? 

[Marykeller]

Some wives can be funny. They can do everything within their power to make their husband desist from any attitude they don't like their husband displaying.

We can call this a jealous act coming from the wife of the husband but we wouldn't like it when someone close to us spends lavishly on things without doing something useful with the money earned.

I don't intend to blame the wife of the man anyway, because she doesn't know the kind of fun and happiness her husband derives when eating and drinking with friends, with the money won from gambling bets.

What I suspect the husband of the wife to do in this scenario is to minimize how he calls out people to celebrate with him and spend the money won from gambling to buy useful things or storekeeper his house with enough cos that's what women want

[Die_empty]

Do You Have A Loved One Who Doesn't Want You To Win In Gambling

The wife has a genuine reason for wishing him to lose because his health is more important. Heavy alcohol drinking can cause severe health problems. But I don't think wishing him to lose will be the best option. The man needs to be counseled, he needs to know that there are better things to do to with the wins. He should know that spending money on alcohol is a waste of resources since the money can be channeled to more profitable ventures. The wife should contact the children and tell them to speak to their father.

There is a religious woman in my area who will always wish his son who is a gambler never wins. She will always rain insults on him and call him a useless child. On a certain day, the boy won big and we expected her to reject the money his son gave to her to support her business. Surprisingly she took the money and used it to stock up her shop. I don't think any reasonable person would wish his family member not to win in gambling.

[AmoreJaz]

So the problem isn't really winning from gambling, but the fact that he parties and drinks too much. And since he gets money for partying from that source, she wants him to lose. So instead focusing to main problem, she wants to dance around it.

Sounds like for some reason she doesn't want to confront him about the drinking. Maybe she believes that there would never be a solution that would suit both of them, or that his husband wouldn't just listen. Like most problems in marriages, this would also be solved by open and direct communication if they both respected each other. But as they don't know how to communicate, or trust each other, she tries to manipulate him with these kind tricks. Sounds quite toxic marriage to me.

She needs to confront his husband and have a heart-to-heart talk with him regarding his drinking problem. Though in the situation, it seems that they have no money problem but it is about the health issues that her husband can get from his drinking spree. Hence, she wants her husband to lose in gambling so he won't buy alcohol.

That is true, if she will just wish her husband to lose, then, she is not addressing the problem. She should look at the situation why her husband is into drinking. Maybe what she can do to change his mind can be one or two of the following -
> look for other activities that you believe your husband can get his interest of- sports, camping, traveling, hiking
> visit relatives or friends and bring foods, instead of buying alcohol
> try to engage him in regular exercise, this way he will appreciate living a healthy life, and maybe forget alcohol
> look for a community project that you think he wants to contribute, so the extra money that he feels wasting on alcohol can be diverted to projects

[Orpichukwu]

Drinking party is always a follow up dilemma since they usually spend money on alcohol and cigarettes for the group which most of the winning money go so they literally just wasting money and time. This tradition can’t be stop if you already married to a cock fighting addict. There’s no turning back.

If the husband is just spending money that he wins from betting, then I will say it's a bit annoying, but to some point, it's also a good thing. At least he is not wasting money on what they could have used for important things in the family; they are just trying to catch fun with what they consider excess. 
 
So if she prays that the husband should lose in the game or collaborate with others just to make sure that the husband loses, what makes her think that the husband might not use money that is not meant for other things to spend on their hangout? Currently, he is spending money from gambling winnings. What does she think will happen if the profit is not coming from gambling?

[Ondekinecakabilirim]

My uncle used to get mad at me when I gambled. But he was an old school person. Because he believed in some superstitions, he said that evil spirits would affect my life when I gambled. I didn't care about him at first. But then I saw that he was upset and I kept on gambling, hiding it from him. I think we should make some sacrifices for some people. We can't sacrifice everything for them. But we can make life better for all of us with little things. I continued to gamble in secret from my uncle. My uncle was happy and so was I.

[nelson4lov]

The wife of your neighbor isn't sad that her husband won simply because of what her husband does after every win. If he does something different with his gambling winnings other than drinking parties with friends, I'm very sure her stance about his gambling endeavors will change. She's mad about it because his gambling wins acts as catalyst to fuel the drinking parties. I rarely see families that are unhappy when a member of their family wins — gambling or not. It's only a problem when you gamble and do not win. If your neighbor changes what he does after winning, maybe spend most of it for family especially with his wife, watch her stance about gambling change real fast.

[Yatsan]

Everyone should be happy if someone wins in gambling because it won't happen on a daily basis to anyone of us, it is by our luck. However in this case, it is not gambling which is the problem but the drinking spree or act of celebration by the husband, and if it bothers the wife then the right actions to be taaken is for her to tell it directly. For sure she did already but what's needed is for her to get her husband's attention and that would be on her end and not involving other people who were just invited. Some people would think it would be rude to reject an invitation right? So again, it should be between the couple. Not on their shoes but if the husband will insist of still doing so despite of the risk then maybe that's just how he want to spend the remaining years of his life.

[Wexnident]

~

Doesnt look like a gambling problem just a drinking problem. Have they done a medical checkup to see if the husbands drinking is giving him any health problems? I know its generally bad to drink but if the husband can't be advised might as well get professional advise from a doctor instead.

As for my situation I don't really. My family knows and they're fine with it as long as I can be responsible financially. Personally if it was that bad of an influence then I'd stop but so far it hasn't been really.

[Hispo]

I don't have anyone who would wish me no luck with gambling, actually, in the most of occasions people does not have a problem with their loved ones having some extra money which they happened to have won from gambling, the issue it is mostly about the gambling itself, the personal wager ones has or the fact luck is not on the side of the person and ends up losing money.
In the particular case of your neighbor, I believe it would be easier for the whole household if he did not have the custom to host those drinking sprees after his wins.
To me, this sounds nothing like a gambling problem, but rather like a drinking/health problem instead.
Based on what you say in your story, his wife would be perfectly fine with him continuing to gamble as long as he stops the alcohol consumption.

[ralle14]

I wonder what she was thinking when she asked you to help her make his husband lose, I mean how would that work.

OP did mention that the husband gambles through horse racing and cockfighting, so I assume OP could encourage him to take the bad horses and make him lose that way.

I also agree with the others, that it's more about the husband's drinking problem and way of spending his winnings because even if he doesn't win his bets it can become a coping mechanism in the future.

How about you? Do you have a loved one who doesn't want you to win in gambling?

This is my first time hearing about this kind of situation so no, and hoping for someone to lose their bets is probably the least thing i'd do when there are other solutions to tackle the problem.

[mirakal]

Philippines right?  

This is always the problem of many wife in Philippines since husband usually over spends on cock fighting. Not only on bets but also on cock conditioning since it needs vitamins, right pellet and time to train the cock before the fight.

Drinking party is always a follow up dilemma since they usually spend money on alcohol and cigarettes for the group which most of the winning money go so they literally just wasting money and time. This tradition can’t be stop if you already married to a cock fighting addict. There’s no turning back.

This is inevitable when you marry a gambling addict. Even if you curse him and do everything to make him stop, he will still find ways to gamble secretly. And you will only find out once he lose all his pension. Just like those who’s slave for cigarettes, they will only stop until their health is at stake.

The best thing a wife can do is just to talk to his husband heart to heart. He can enjoy his money but not to the extent of putting his wife miserable in life. Gambling is really entertaining if you know how to play and manage your funds, but if you end up abusing not just your funds but your health as well, I’m sure everything will end up in a worst scenario.

[Apocollapse]

This is hard.

We know that drinking and gambling for retired people are bad because their body are more vulnerable, drinking would affect their stomach, liver, kidney etc, while gambling could make them get heart attack due to adrenaline rush.

But, retirement is when people enjoying the rest of their life right? if they happy with this decision, isn't we're taking their happiness?

Only his wife can limit him, they both need to communicate this problem instead of asking other people help.