My advice: A gambling addict brother.

[m2017]

what do you guys think about this?

You gave the right advice and you should not give a penny to a gambling addict (in the same way with any other addiction), otherwise the addicted brother will spend everything on gambling, as before. This is the next stage of addiction, when people addicted to gambling, having lost all their money and property, begin to lose money from friends and relatives. It is not permissible to encourage them to do this.

[Hatchy]

what do you guys think about this?
 

There nothing wrong with what you did mate. You just decided to share you own opinion about his personal problem. The only thing is that you should have not gone straight to the point and ask him not to help. You could have told him to just sit his brother down and ask him about his business before offering to help. For me I don't see anything wrong though, as it's clearly obvious that his brother is addicted and using the money to gamble. I won't want to give out my money to an addict no matter how close we are related. If I know he will gamble with the funds I won't give him a penny. I'll rather help him start a business let him manage.

[Die_empty]

what do you guys think about this?
I planned on locking the thread after a few shared thoughts.

Your advice was not a bad one considering that brother B is suffering from gambling disorder. You are scared that he could use the money to gamble and end up wasting the money. It could also be possible that this man wants to invest the money in a business, nobody can verify this fact based on your story. My advice would be that the gambling addict will have to prove to his brother that the money will not be used for gambling. Maybe he would have to monitor him to check if he is still addicted.

Another option will be for Brother A to follow up with Brother B as he prepares for the business. Instead of giving Brother B the money, Brother A can decide to purchase the goods that Brother B wants to sell. Instead of giving him money to rent a shop space, brother A should pay the rent. Brother A can also safely give Brother B what he can afford to lose. He shouldn't give him what he asks for but what he can afford to lose. Give a sum that even if he gambles it off, it wouldn't pain him so much.

[$crypto$]

Your friend is definitely addicted to gambling because he has many reasons to get money instead of building his business, so that's how he gets money easily asking his brother.

Wanting to do business but still happy to play gambling when there is money, it is useless that there is business capital money will run out, let alone the profit earned, because I have the thought that gambling addiction will be difficult to stop, especially if he holds money, he will play again and waste his money.

Your advice is not wrong, I would also say so not to give a penny, let him look for himself to get his business capital, even though his brother wants him to succeed like other relatives, it would be better for him to do without any help.

[CryptSafe]

You have done well comrade. I understand the point you are trying to make here based on your experience with gamblers. The reply or advice you gave your friend is what some others would still give him. Your friend too is also on the same decision because him not taking his brothers call and to extent of avoiding him means that he would still come up with such resolution to o away with the idea of funding his brothers business as a result of the fact that his brother is a gambler who he has helped in the past but ended up squandering the money on gambling.

Anyone in his shoes would feel the same way because it would not be making any sense giving out huge amount of money which took your time and efforts to earn either as a worker or a business man and only for you to discover that it ended up being used for gambling. It is natural that anyone in such situation would definitely avoid such person because they can not stand the face of meeting with such person saying no to their plea not to talk of when it is your sibling.

Nevertheless, his brother should have looked for a means to making sure everything he spent for the business be accounted for in the sense that he would be very much involved in the business either as a partner to oversee the business till it stands or he supervises him till the business stands successfully or he assigns someone to do the task on his behalf if he is not chanced to do so.

Another way to hold his brother accountable is to personally pay for ye business and makes sure he gives account on daily basis as per how the business was for the day so as to keep track records of how his brother is going about the business. He should not give up on his bro but guide him and coach him if the needs be.

[Frankolala]

I feel pity for your neighbor that is giving the gamble addict supports all these while and he is gambling with the funds. It might be true or not that your neighbors brother wants to use the money to set up a business but that doesn't mean that your neighbor shoukd not be nervous.

I will not advice anyone not to give a helping hand to his siblings because we are the only ones that they can look up to for help. Tell your neighbor to give his brother the last doubt and only give him half of the money, if he sees that his younger brother really started the business, he can give him the other part.

[Marykeller]

I don't see anything bad about the advice you gave your neighbor. If I am the one I will advise him the same.

Nobody will feel happy when they learn that the money they gave out to their sibling is not used judiciously on relevant things, but instead on gambling.

I can't have a brother who is a gambling addict and expects me to be giving him money. I can't try that, even if he needs money for an important thing. Giving him money for that will still push him to their luck on gambling for one time since he has money on his hands.

Someone who's a gambling addict doesn't use huge money given to them for useful things. Giving them money is always a waste if the addiction to gambling doesn't leave them. To give them money, you will first of all treat the addiction before giving them money. The way to treat that, withdraw giving them money. Let them work for themselves, and see how it feels when the money they work for is not utilized in a proper way

However, at times in life, it is good to say no to the demands of people. Rendering financial help to our siblings or friends each time they call for it, makes them feel like money is been plucked from the tree. Saying no to their demands for money will make them sit up to whatever they are doing, that they should spend money wisely

[Dewi Aries]

Overall, in my opinion, there is nothing wrong with the advice you gave to this person, friend, by suggesting not to give any money to his brother who has been identified as a gambler, because in addition it has been proven that in the past when he gave money to his younger brother, it was Instead, they use it and spend it to fulfill their gambling habits.

On the other hand, I also understand what you feel OP, that you feel bad because you have advised this person not to help their own sibling, but actually it is not a problem to use it as a form of caution, even if for example they are their own sibling. So I can't assume or say that your actions are wrong, but if I were in your position then I would most likely tell the person to first confirm whether what his sister said was true or a lie about who he would use the money for. for business purposes, at least by looking for some real evidence related to the business that will be run, and if it turns out that he doesn't find any evidence that can be trusted then I will advise him not to give any money to his younger brother.

[Slow death]

In my opinion you gave the wrong advice.

you have no proof that your neighbor is really telling the truth about his brother's situation, most of the time some people, when they don't want to give money or don't want to help other people, use arguments that to some extent tarnish other people's image while cleaning their own images so as not to help other people. In this case you should first ask your neighbor if there is any proof that his brother was addicted to gambling, this proof should be a medical examination. Secondly, you should ask your neighbor how much money he has given to his brother and in what month and year he gave it to him

Thirdly, you should have asked your neighbor what kind of business his brother intends to do. After that you could give the following advice:

1 - that he take his brother to a doctor for an examination to determine whether he is addicted or not, if it is proven in the examination that he is addicted, that he pay for the treatment

2 - that he take his brother's idea and open his brother's business, if the brother is undergoing treatment for addiction, then he will take care of the business until the brother is cured.

We have to be very careful when giving people advice. imagine your neighbor following your advice while his brother is telling the truth about business? then you would be destroying the sibling relationship because of money. The day your neighbor dies, they won't call you, but they will call your brother. you don't abandon a brother

[len01]

so the advise I gave him was that he shouldn't give him a penny

Your advice is very correct but you should not tell your neighbor to refuse to give money to his brother just because of your sentiments towards gambling addiction. On the one hand, you only hear stories from your neighbors (the addict's older siblings) without seeing what actually happens because maybe there is something you don't know.

what do you guys think about this?

My suggestion is that you take back your previous suggestion and advise your neighbor to ask how much his younger wants. If the amount is not too big, just give him the money but under supervision or in other words monitor him whether the money is really for building a business.
If the money given is used for gambling again, you can give the first advice you said before when the younger sibling asks for money again for another reason.

[Marvelockg]

I don't quite stand in the same page with the advice you gave him. It's possible his brother might be a reckless spender in the past and might have squandered all the money his brother gave him away. That's something that's very bad and any right thinking person has the right to be angry at it but you can't hold the anger against him forever. You have to believe that he can change and help him work out of his addiction. If he wants to start up a new business, why not take the little sacrifice of going with him to the market to see what he intends buying and ensure that you witness him buying all the items he intends buying in your presence? I know some siblings can be very irresponsible but I'm totally against neglecting totally just because they aren't leaving up to what you expect of them.

I've known some drunkards that at some times become hungry and come begging money for food, without a sense of doubt, I'm certain that the possibility of them using the money I gave them to buy alcohol is very high but I can't because of that and refuse helping them when I know that it's possible that they are actually hungry. What I do is to join them to where they want to buy the food, pay for the food and then go away. If I can do that for a stranger then I should be able to do better for my brother. Addiction is not a joke and literally anyone could become addicted. You don't walk out of them and allow them remain helpless. You render the little help that you can and gradually they will learn to do better in there gambling or addictive lifestyle.

[South Park]

Hello bitcointalk community.
I need your hints and thoughts on this because I honestly having a double feeling if what I gave out was the right advise to give or it's going to worsen matters more than it currently is.

it's actually about a neighbor whose younger sibling came visiting to spend two nights at his place, from what I was told by his elder bro who's financially well to do, his sibling specifically came over to request for financial support and before then he has been calling on phone to which he has been ditching the calls, he therefore had to come in person to visit, and has been all over him claiming he needs the money for some urgent business setup. According to him, he's avoiding his bro because most times he had supported him with money he has regularly squander it on gambling and as a result he has resolved on not giving him money again.

He couldn't hold the disturbance about how he feels according to him, so he had to share the entire story with me seeking for my advice because he doesn't know if his bro is genuine about his alleged business claims. I felt pity for him having a gambling addicted brother, so the advise I gave him was that he shouldn't give him a penny, if he really genuine about the business let him go sought himself out elsewhere and when he(my neighbor) later sees the business growing he can then support.
But, later in the day I started feeling bad for advising a brother not to help his own brother when he's in need of help he can give due to my sentiment against gambling addiction.

what do you guys think about this?
I planned on locking the thread after a few shared thoughts.

Giving advice on family matters is always difficult, however I do not see anything wrong with the advice itself, if a person has proven over and over again they are not to be trusted, then it is silly to trust them once again and lend them that money, because even if the addicted brother was telling the truth, all his past transgressions are enough to never lend him a single penny until he has gotten over his addiction and he has proven himself worthy of being trusted again, so do not feel guilty about it as you did the right thing in my opinion.

[HelliumZ]

what do you guys think about this?

Such incidents are often happening around us because many people borrow money by talking about business setup but instead of setting up business, they make losses on gambling. An incident like this happened in my uncle's life if I was very young at the time and I had no idea about gambling. But I saw my uncle helping his brother-in-law and later it was known that my uncle's brother-in-law was an addicted gambler. He has caused a loss by gambling by borrowing money from multiple sources and is currently a bankrupt accused. It would be wise to always keep yourself conscious of such people. It should be remembered that such gamblers are always walking around me and you and they can use money and gamble with money whenever they want. It is very important to always be aware of these people.

[Yatsan]

Hello bitcointalk community.
I need your hints and thoughts on this because I honestly having a double feeling if what I gave out was the right advise to give or it's going to worsen matters more than it currently is.

it's actually about a neighbor whose younger sibling came visiting to spend two nights at his place, from what I was told by his elder bro who's financially well to do, his sibling specifically came over to request for financial support and before then he has been calling on phone to which he has been ditching the calls, he therefore had to come in person to visit, and has been all over him claiming he needs the money for some urgent business setup. According to him, he's avoiding his bro because most times he had supported him with money he has regularly squander it on gambling and as a result he has resolved on not giving him money again.

He couldn't hold the disturbance about how he feels according to him, so he had to share the entire story with me seeking for my advice because he doesn't know if his bro is genuine about his alleged business claims. I felt pity for him having a gambling addicted brother, so the advise I gave him was that he shouldn't give him a penny, if he really genuine about the business let him go sought himself out elsewhere and when he(my neighbor) later sees the business growing he can then support.
But, later in the day I started feeling bad for advising a brother not to help his own brother when he's in need of help he can give due to my sentiment against gambling addiction.

what do you guys think about this?
I planned on locking the thread after a few shared thoughts.

Well, he asked for your advice and you just gave your personal opinion and suggestion about his situation. It depends on him still whether he would follow it or not. You are making a point simply because based on his story, nothing's happening on the amounts he is giving to his brother. Well yes every people are subject to changes but at least in this case, his brother should show proofs in form of eagerness to make positive changes. If he'd just be dependent then nothing's gonna happen wherein the money to be borrowed will just be wasted. Also, lying should never be tolerated in the first place. If the older brother will be in doubt of giving a helping hand then that'e just him showing the reality to the younger siblings that things aren't easily achieved. The more you'd be asking for favor, the more that you won't value the momey compared with what is actually learned.

[Su-asa]

If his brother is a gambling addict, the reason he said he wants the money could be a lie. He may just need the money to have extra time to gamble again and he will lose the money. If he is a gambling addict, he is not worthy to be given the money. Your advice is not wrong. I have done exactly the same thing before when I was a gambling addict. I borrowed the money from my brother and used it to gamble.

Those are the kind of gamblers that borrows money to gamble.
From the stories, if it's true that he wants to use the money for a business the lender should not give him first until he sees any seriousness in him before he can borrow him the money snd if he wants to give the money y to his brother, he should not give him the complete amount that he demanded but half of it. And the money should also be the amount that he can afford to lose because as families he might not pay early because he's also a gambler addict. And the truth is that even if he used the money to start a business he might still use the profits and gamble again.

[Popkon6]

I can't help a gambler in any way, be it money or whatever. Asking for money in the name of business is cheating and those involved in these activities should never be helped in any way. A poor student can be helped or a poor student can be helped but if he helps a gambler, he may feel very bad in person if he does not spend it properly. If a gambler takes money from others repeatedly to establish himself and sits in a gambling loss, he will find a situation in such a situation that he will not get help even in a bad situation. Because if you cheat, you must deal with the consequences of that cheating at one time.

[Rabata]

I always try to help others especially who want to do something good especially who are entrepreneur but not interested to lend money someone who never keep his word before or a gambling addict. Poor people always surroundings with us but not all poor people are decent. I found there are some poor people who gamble and lost their money and they collect money from various people by give wrong info. I am not interest to lend money for these people because I know if lend him he will lose by gambling then again he do the same work. If someone gets bad idea about a person before lending money then definitely he should be careful.

[dunfida]

Hello bitcointalk community.
I need your hints and thoughts on this because I honestly having a double feeling if what I gave out was the right advise to give or it's going to worsen matters more than it currently is.

it's actually about a neighbor whose younger sibling came visiting to spend two nights at his place, from what I was told by his elder bro who's financially well to do, his sibling specifically came over to request for financial support and before then he has been calling on phone to which he has been ditching the calls, he therefore had to come in person to visit, and has been all over him claiming he needs the money for some urgent business setup. According to him, he's avoiding his bro because most times he had supported him with money he has regularly squander it on gambling and as a result he has resolved on not giving him money again.

He couldn't hold the disturbance about how he feels according to him, so he had to share the entire story with me seeking for my advice because he doesn't know if his bro is genuine about his alleged business claims. I felt pity for him having a gambling addicted brother, so the advise I gave him was that he shouldn't give him a penny, if he really genuine about the business let him go sought himself out elsewhere and when he(my neighbor) later sees the business growing he can then support.
But, later in the day I started feeling bad for advising a brother not to help his own brother when he's in need of help he can give due to my sentiment against gambling addiction.

what do you guys think about this?
I planned on locking the thread after a few shared thoughts.

The suggestion was really just that right or on point. If it was really that a legit business plans or trying out to make one by his brother then asking up some proofs would really be that something that needs to do.
On the moment that he found out that his brother is lying then he would definitely be having that legit excuse or reason on not to give him anymore money just because of the lies. Somehow into this kind of situation or
condition on which it is really that hard to resist specially if your brother/sister or simply siblings does have those kind of problems but we do know that we should really be having that kind of cutting off specially
in financial support because we are the ones who do feed up their addiction specially if you do really know on what they are dealing on with. This is why it would really be understandable as a brother that you shouldnt
really be providing him some financial even no matter what reasons he might have. Addiction is something that is commonly a problem for most gamblers and there's no exemption to this not unless if you do really have that good self control towards on the things you are dealing on with.

[taufik123]

-snip-
Your advice is not wrong, I would also say so not to give a penny, let him look for himself to get his business capital, even though his brother wants him to succeed like other relatives, it would be better for him to do without any help.

Providing limits without any help that will result in subsequent gambling is good to do.
But if someone is already experiencing an acute addiction to gambling, they will do everything to earn money in order to be able to gamble.

In his mind he was only betting for a big win that might be able to recoup his losses, but in reality it would only consume everything.
These kinds of people need to get rehabilitation and guidance from those closest to them to be able to escape from the addiction.

[Stepstowealth]

But, later in the day I started feeling bad for advising a brother not to help his own brother when he's in need of help he can give due to my sentiment against gambling addiction.

what do you guys think about this?

If a sibling has shown themselves incapable to handle a business, there is no need starting a business for them when they will surely run it down. You can keep assisting them in little ways with money for little things that are essential, as a way of still expressing your love and blood relationship, but with a problem like gambling addiction, starting a business with this problem is a waste, the person will never understand and value the business.