Is it Ideal for parents to demand rent from their child who stays with them?

[Justbillywitt]

My question stems from a 2023 article of a woman who charged her daughter $75 per month to add to their bills since she now works.

Generally, working-class children who stay with their parents do so to be able to save up enough money to start a fresh journey in life. Although it's still cheap to contribute to the bills like paying rent, buying groceries, etc compared to when they live outside their parent's house. But, young people like the girl in the article find it outrageous. Going through the article I saw responses from parents who admit they do the same thing. Do you think it's fine as a parent to demand bills such as rent from your working-class child because s/he stays in your house?

https://www.boredpanda.com/daughter-angry-mom-increases-contribution-to-bills/

N/B: this thread is not exactly what happened in the article above.

I don't see anything wrong with that, especially if the child is working and earning well. It could that the parents ain't working or making enough money to cover for the maintenance of the house. And if the house is not maintain it could deteriorate and loss it's market value. What if the child was living elsewhere, he/she would still pay rent. For me I don't see anything wrong with parents charging their children rent, provided they are working. Many people might think otherwise, but you have to consider the continuous existence of the structure. But one thing is that the parents should not charge the same amount they would charge other tenants.

[Yatsan]

My question stems from a 2023 article of a woman who charged her daughter $75 per month to add to their bills since she now works.

Generally, working-class children who stay with their parents do so to be able to save up enough money to start a fresh journey in life. Although it's still cheap to contribute to the bills like paying rent, buying groceries, etc compared to when they live outside their parent's house. But, young people like the girl in the article find it outrageous. Going through the article I saw responses from parents who admit they do the same thing. Do you think it's fine as a parent to demand bills such as rent from your working-class child because s/he stays in your house?

https://www.boredpanda.com/daughter-angry-mom-increases-contribution-to-bills/

N/B: this thread is not exactly what happened in the article above.

All right, the question of paying parents by children working at home is one of different opinions. It is helpful on one hand to request children to chip in in household expenses especially if the family is trying to manage their own finances. It can instill responsibility and financial management and enable the young adult to learn the costs involved in a life of dependency.

From an economic perspective, it makes complete sense for unemployed adults still living at home to contribute to house expenses, since they would be helping to offset some of these increasing costs and would form a basis for support from the parents. It can also be a realistic plan when they do leave the home because they will have learned to budget and manage their finances.

On one hand, this can be regarded as inappropriate, especially in those cases when the amount requested is too high or when a child struggles to save enough for moving out on his/her own. There is also an emotional and relational aspect: family well-being can indeed be fraught when perceived unfair financial contributions undermine the supportive role of parents.

My question stems from a 2023 article of a woman who charged her daughter $75 per month to add to their bills since she now works.

Generally, working-class children who stay with their parents do so to be able to save up enough money to start a fresh journey in life. Although it's still cheap to contribute to the bills like paying rent, buying groceries, etc compared to when they live outside their parent's house. But, young people like the girl in the article find it outrageous. Going through the article I saw responses from parents who admit they do the same thing. Do you think it's fine as a parent to demand bills such as rent from your working-class child because s/he stays in your house?

https://www.boredpanda.com/daughter-angry-mom-increases-contribution-to-bills/

N/B: this thread is not exactly what happened in the article above.

I don't see anything wrong with that, especially if the child is working and earning well. It could that the parents ain't working or making enough money to cover for the maintenance of the house. And if the house is not maintain it could deteriorate and loss it's market value. What if the child was living elsewhere, he/she would still pay rent. For me I don't see anything wrong with parents charging their children rent, provided they are working. Many people might think otherwise, but you have to consider the continuous existence of the structure. But one thing is that the parents should not charge the same amount they would charge other tenants.

I don't see anything wrong with paying parental rent for their working children, especially if the parents are constrained financially or housekeeping requires that extra income. A working child who lives there on his or her own is most likely to pay rent, like any other tenant. Paying the mortgage can offset a mortgage and ensure that the house is kept in good condition for its full value. It's just important for the parents to set a reasonable amount-maybe a little lower than they would pay on the street-to demonstrate familial unity and help the child build up a savings for later on. Both economic security and family unity are furthered in this balancing of justice with benefits.

[Xcode7]

I don't see anything wrong with that, especially if the child is working and earning well. It could that the parents ain't working or making enough money to cover for the maintenance of the house. And if the house is not maintain it could deteriorate and loss it's market value. What if the child was living elsewhere, he/she would still pay rent. For me I don't see anything wrong with parents charging their children rent, provided they are working. Many people might think otherwise, but you have to consider the continuous existence of the structure. But one thing is that the parents should not charge the same amount they would charge other tenants.

I think there is something different if it is said that parents collect rent and honestly in my environment there has never been such a thing unless the child is aware of helping parents or even more than that as a sign of gratitude or devotion to parents. For me, if it is too formal between parents and children, it is very unethical because parents and children should complement each other and if the child has got a job or has an income, it is appropriate to help their parents in their parents' old age.

[Lucas Hernand]

My question stems from a 2023 article of a woman who charged her daughter $75 per month to add to their bills since she now works.

Generally, working-class children who stay with their parents do so to be able to save up enough money to start a fresh journey in life. Although it's still cheap to contribute to the bills like paying rent, buying groceries, etc compared to when they live outside their parent's house. But, young people like the girl in the article find it outrageous. Going through the article I saw responses from parents who admit they do the same thing. Do you think it's fine as a parent to demand bills such as rent from your working-class child because s/he stays in your house?

https://www.boredpanda.com/daughter-angry-mom-increases-contribution-to-bills/

N/B: this thread is not exactly what happened in the article above.

I think it really depends on the situation and the family dynamics. On one hand, asking a working-class child to contribute to household expenses can teach responsibility and the value of money. It also prepares them for the real world where they will have to manage their finances independently. On the other hand, parents should also consider the child’s goals, like saving up for their own place or paying off student loans.

In any case, whether parents ask for contributions or not, it's essential for everyone in the household to be mindful of energy consumption, which can be a significant part of household expenses. I came across this useful guide on how to reduce energy consumption at home that could be helpful: How to Reduce Energy Consumption at Home
. It’s a good reminder that there are ways to manage costs effectively, especially in a shared living situation.

[Tigerheart3026]

these girls are ungrateful to their family or parents because they refuse to pay such a small amount of money for the family even after getting job, 75$ is very small amount in which country, thousands of rent bill have to pay their parents but their children don't want to pay for electricity bill 75$.

[dezoel]

I don't see anything wrong with that, especially if the child is working and earning well. It could that the parents ain't working or making enough money to cover for the maintenance of the house. And if the house is not maintain it could deteriorate and loss it's market value. What if the child was living elsewhere, he/she would still pay rent. For me I don't see anything wrong with parents charging their children rent, provided they are working. Many people might think otherwise, but you have to consider the continuous existence of the structure. But one thing is that the parents should not charge the same amount they would charge other tenants.

I think there is something different if it is said that parents collect rent and honestly in my environment there has never been such a thing unless the child is aware of helping parents or even more than that as a sign of gratitude or devotion to parents. For me, if it is too formal between parents and children, it is very unethical because parents and children should complement each other and if the child has got a job or has an income, it is appropriate to help their parents in their parents' old age.

Yeah in most cases, when this type of thing happens it is not like asking for anything, it's just natural part of the owner.

If a kid grows up and still lives with their parents and not moved out, that means they just share the costs together, they buy some food time to time, do the groceries time to time, pay the rent time to time, like they are usually glad to be help because they are part of the house and make money, it's not even just helping the house because they are in need, if they are in need then they are in need, this is mostly about just having some difference to it, and that's the most important part.

I personally believe that the best thing to do here would be making sure that people are ok with each other and if they are all ok with each others decision then it's fine. But to be fair, many people do not live with their parents after college here, they want their freedom so they move away, so it is not really a common situation at all.

[ultrloa]

these girls are ungrateful to their family or parents because they refuse to pay such a small amount of money for the family even after getting job, 75$ is very small amount in which country, thousands of rent bill have to pay their parents but their children don't want to pay for electricity bill 75$.

We don't know the story since for sure if their parents really love them and provide everything they need for sure no children's will decline to that request since that amount is so small. But if they are bad parent and always asking money for anything then there would be a time that children's will get tired and decline on what their parent asked them especially for paying those amount.

But if we really look at the situation and we also care to our parent for sure those request is actually nothing. For sure we would accept or grant what they want especially now that they are old and starting to decline or can't provide for their selves. Maybe other people stick with the idea that they don't have obligation to their parents, but out of good will I guess we also need to help our parents if they have struggles in life.

[kro55]

I don't see anything wrong with that, especially if the child is working and earning well. It could that the parents ain't working or making enough money to cover for the maintenance of the house. And if the house is not maintain it could deteriorate and loss it's market value. What if the child was living elsewhere, he/she would still pay rent. For me I don't see anything wrong with parents charging their children rent, provided they are working. Many people might think otherwise, but you have to consider the continuous existence of the structure. But one thing is that the parents should not charge the same amount they would charge other tenants.

I think there is something different if it is said that parents collect rent and honestly in my environment there has never been such a thing unless the child is aware of helping parents or even more than that as a sign of gratitude or devotion to parents. For me, if it is too formal between parents and children, it is very unethical because parents and children should complement each other and if the child has got a job or has an income, it is appropriate to help their parents in their parents' old age.

If children have the awareness to help their parents, be grateful and filial to their parents, then this will certainly never happen. You never see this in your environment probably because the children there are well educated as well as very filial to their parents. But not everyone is like that, many children have grown up and earned a lot of money but are very selfish with their parents, they just like to take advantage, and do not want to support or help their parents. So it is normal and nothing wrong with some parents asking to pay rent or even share daily living expenses.

[dezoel]

If children have the awareness to help their parents, be grateful and filial to their parents, then this will certainly never happen. You never see this in your environment probably because the children there are well educated as well as very filial to their parents. But not everyone is like that, many children have grown up and earned a lot of money but are very selfish with their parents, they just like to take advantage, and do not want to support or help their parents. So it is normal and nothing wrong with some parents asking to pay rent or even share daily living expenses.

This is a cultural thing and while in some cultures kids do help a lot more often, in some cultures they get out a lot more early. Like in the USA a lot of kids leave their house at age 18, which is a very young age if you ask me, I left at 23 and even then everyone said it was too early for me, a lot of my friends did leave at 30, because that's how our culture is, but in the USA they leave at 18 to go to a college, some still live with their parents during college but that's rare, many of them just leave and live in dorms and go to schools that way.

After college ends, most do not even return back at home, they just find a job and get together with friends to rent a place, and the more they grow the more they start to live all by themselves and that's how their life is.

Compared to that, in many Asian cultures you may literally live with your family all your life, there are some nations where husband takes his wife to parents house and all four of them live together, which is shocking I know but it exists and that feels like opposite of what USA does and too far away. I think middle ground is best, keep the kid until they earn enough to live by themselves, that would be a good thing.

[Su-asa]

My question stems from a 2023 article of a woman who charged her daughter $75 per month to add to their bills since she now works.

Generally, working-class children who stay with their parents do so to be able to save up enough money to start a fresh journey in life. Although it's still cheap to contribute to the bills like paying rent, buying groceries, etc compared to when they live outside their parent's house. But, young people like the girl in the article find it outrageous. Going through the article I saw responses from parents who admit they do the same thing. Do you think it's fine as a parent to demand bills such as rent from your working-class child because s/he stays in your house?

https://www.boredpanda.com/daughter-angry-mom-increases-contribution-to-bills/

N/B: this thread is not exactly what happened in the article above.

If you really love your children as a parent you wouldn't put them under pressure no matter how bad the situation is. The reason why a child is still under his or her parents roof is because they don't have the capacity to stand on their own financially. Demanding for rent isn't right even if the child is working the best thing to do is ask for a little support or talk about the problem and see how it can be resolved together instead of demanding. A responsible child knows what to do when he or she is earning money without being told

[zenaku]

No. As a parent, it is unethical for me to ask for money from my child even though the child has already got a job that pays. The pattern of parenting towards children starts from childhood until they become adults. If there is a mistake in educating, then the child's behavior will also not be as expected.

Parents are tasked with raising children by giving all forms of affection in addition to trying to provide all their basic needs. That is a responsibility.

A good child from a good upbringing process will care about his parents. Logically, it is like our parents to us. Even though we have earned a decent living from our jobs, I personally have never been asked by them but I am the one who gives it to them.

Your comment is very accurate. Parents should instill values of brotherhood and assistance to shape the citizen, so that they, in turn, will look out for others out of gratitude. This is primarily the responsibility of the parents, and secondarily the responsibility of the educated citizen.

The major problem is that the role of being a parent has deteriorated. Being a parent requires responsibility and a genuine desire to educate. Unfortunately, where I come from, many people have children mainly to receive government assistance. When these children grow up, they often face so many upbringing problems that they contribute nothing and become a social and familial burden.

In other cases, when individuals manage to find work, their parents or distant relatives may try to exploit their assets.

Regarding the question, my response is this: A parent should not demand. If a child is well-raised, they should know and be willing to contribute to the household. Ask yourself, if a child has been "abandoned" and then is expected to contribute, they may be so resentful and unprepared that they won't be able to contribute effectively. They may struggle to find a good job, develop bad habits, or fail to manage their finances properly.

[Finestream]

these girls are ungrateful to their family or parents because they refuse to pay such a small amount of money for the family even after getting job, 75$ is very small amount in which country, thousands of rent bill have to pay their parents but their children don't want to pay for electricity bill 75$.

We don't know the story since for sure if their parents really love them and provide everything they need for sure no children's will decline to that request since that amount is so small. But if they are bad parent and always asking money for anything then there would be a time that children's will get tired and decline on what their parent asked them especially for paying those amount.

But if we really look at the situation and we also care to our parent for sure those request is actually nothing. For sure we would accept or grant what they want especially now that they are old and starting to decline or can't provide for their selves. Maybe other people stick with the idea that they don't have obligation to their parents, but out of good will I guess we also need to help our parents if they have struggles in life.

Right. There's always a reason behind in every course of action. Maybe because those parents were not supportive also way back then so the child is only returning what they deserved.

But whether they deserve it or not, parents will always be parents. And we should be obliged to help them most especially if we are also able to, so we won't end up regretting in the end wishing we had helped them earlier.

[Rampagoe004]

Every child who has a sense of responsibility will think longer and be useful to his parents as long as he is able to help with whatever is needed without having to deposit money every month. If the child lives with his parents without any strings attached, he can lighten the family's economy by paying for electricity and PDAM bills.

I really agree that this method can help parents in this difficult economy rather than going out on their own, maybe the calculation is more than that.

[bakasabo]

Every child who has a sense of responsibility will think longer and be useful to his parents as long as he is able to help with whatever is needed without having to deposit money every month. If the child lives with his parents without any strings attached, he can lighten the family's economy by paying for electricity and PDAM bills.

I really agree that this method can help parents in this difficult economy rather than going out on their own, maybe the calculation is more than that.

Isnt it very personal and geographical question? I cant remember correctly, but there are countries where it is common for children to leave parents house when they turn 18. It will even look weird if children, who are adults now, live with parents. And there countries where it is normal for parents to support their children as long as children want. So it is ok to see a 25-30 years old who live with parents, that pay all the bills and feed their child.

I personally look on this situation in first post from how the kids and parents were raised and financial situation. Imho if children are smart, they will understand that they "should help" parents cover expenses. But I see it wrong if parents say that there is a specific amount (like $75/month) to be paid and it is a must. Parents should to plan in the beginning, that children would not be obliged to share expenses. Because they did not give birth to create a person who will cover 1/3 of their expenses.

[erep]

Every child who has a sense of responsibility will think longer and be useful to his parents as long as he is able to help with whatever is needed without having to deposit money every month. If the child lives with his parents without any strings attached, he can lighten the family's economy by paying for electricity and PDAM bills.

I really agree that this method can help parents in this difficult economy rather than going out on their own, maybe the calculation is more than that.

Agree, we have discussed in another thread that discusses children as future assets for their parents, every successful child is obliged to help their family's economy because parents have financed all their child's needs from infancy until they are adults, all the sacrifices of parents can never be repaid with anything, so even though parents do not determine the rental price or ask for help to pay electricity bills or others, do it immediately as a step to appreciate them while you are still under their care, do not count your losses with your parents but make them happy with your success.

[Huppercase]

Every child who has a sense of responsibility will think longer and be useful to his parents as long as he is able to help with whatever is needed without having to deposit money every month. If the child lives with his parents without any strings attached, he can lighten the family's economy by paying for electricity and PDAM bills.

I really agree that this method can help parents in this difficult economy rather than going out on their own, maybe the calculation is more than that.

It's normal for a child that has come of age to offset some responsibilities of his parents so they can enjoy the fruit of their labour. There are some places around the world were this is practice as a thing of been a responsible child and a child who doesn't do it and have the means as irresponsible, this  is mostly practice as culture and traditions in many places but to me I see it as nothing. If you are becoming parent and you think taking care of your child means automatic favour in the future, then you have no reason to get married in the first place.

If you have a child and you train them well and you do your best as a parent and give them what they need, you don't need to tell them as a parent what to do. Though, there are some people that you can't change and you can't do anything about it because human being are not the same and they wil shy away from there responsibility and trust me, heaven will not fall. Do your thing as a parent and stop expecting return of favour, that's bad parenting.

[Accardo]

Every child who has a sense of responsibility will think longer and be useful to his parents as long as he is able to help with whatever is needed without having to deposit money every month. If the child lives with his parents without any strings attached, he can lighten the family's economy by paying for electricity and PDAM bills.

I really agree that this method can help parents in this difficult economy rather than going out on their own, maybe the calculation is more than that.

Agree, we have discussed in another thread that discusses children as future assets for their parents, every successful child is obliged to help their family's economy because parents have financed all their child's needs from infancy until they are adults, all the sacrifices of parents can never be repaid with anything, so even though parents do not determine the rental price or ask for help to pay electricity bills or others, do it immediately as a step to appreciate them while you are still under their care, do not count your losses with your parents but make them happy with your success.

Growing up I always thought that whenever a child stops asking his/her parents for money they're indirectly contributing to the family's economy. Because it relieves the parents of more expenses and grants them the opportunity to save up, while the child fights for his stand financially. Once all is set money wise, the child can easily go ahead to care for the bills of his parents. Is it not so that asking for their financial aid immediately they got a job can be risky, in the sense that if the person has an issue in his job he could go broke with no warning.

[GxSTxV]

Being a child who have been taking care of for your life by your parents, staying under their roof, eating from their food, spending their money…etc all of those sacrifices should at least have a small return from you. I think that it is pretty normal from the parents to ask for a little help from their working child in the bills of the house especially that she still lives there and is included in those bills.

Everything has its own price and you can’t expect to live at your parent’s house forever for free. Most of children payback their parents when they grow up and earn money, I think that this girl is rude for taking her parent's demand in a wrong way, you shouldn’t be offended by such thing and to be honest 75$ isn’t that big of a deal.

[Yeesha]

The child is working and living with his or her parent. Even without the parent demanding for anything, he or she needs to be useful. At least he can be paying for electricity bill or house rent. As long as he or she is working, he needs to contribute to everything that is going on in the family.

It is only a mannerless or senseless child that will wait till his or her parents demand something before they give it to them, talk less of a successful child, it is a coldhearted and ungrateful child that will have a job and won't be supportive to his /her family, parents are the ones behind the fortune of every child, without the blessings of the parent no child will be able to make it in life, even though the child is not staying with the family he/she needs to be useful and be helping them financially by carrying out some fiscal responsibilities.

It is normal for parents to ask for financial assistance from their children, not because they are renting from their parents' house, but this teaches responsibility and mutual respect between families. I used to do the same, helping my parents with electricity bills and even food costs. I helped my parents until now. I still help. Remember the sacrifices of our parents until we are at this point now.

Parents sacrifices a lot just to see their children pass where they could not be able to reach (successful), for a child to pay for food stuff, electricity bills and fees for his or her younger ones in his father's house doesn't make them a tenant but a brave/supportive person, it is sign of love, affection, maturity and discipline, children are expected to assist their patients when they are employed with the salary that they earn no matter how long they little it is.

It’s a good way of getting them used to budgeting & paying bills. When your kid gets a job, charging them & little money for rent teaches them a good lesson. If you don’t need the money & you provide for them comfortably then maybe invest the money each month on their behalf without telling them. Then you could surprise them with the money years later.

Of course, for children to assist their parents /families it is a way of getting them used to budgeting, and it also makes their features responsibilities easier, charging an employed child for the purpose of fulfilling the household responsibilities teaches the child a good lesson and moral, it makes the children responsible and it prevent them from extravagantly and lavishing the money.

[icalical]

I would argue that Parents who asked for rent to their children even though their child is already have a job and make money is a bit too much, if I it was me, I wouldn't ask for rent. But also,  I think if the children is already make some money and still living under their parents roof, they should at least help paying some bills, or show some gratitude like buying some gift to the parent. Being understanding and good will should come from both parties.