Is it Ideal for parents to demand rent from their child who stays with them?

[Cookdata]

My question stems from a 2023 article of a woman who charged her daughter $75 per month to add to their bills since she now works.

Generally, working-class children who stay with their parents do so to be able to save up enough money to start a fresh journey in life. Although it's still cheap to contribute to the bills like paying rent, buying groceries, etc compared to when they live outside their parent's house. But, young people like the girl in the article find it outrageous. Going through the article I saw responses from parents who admit they do the same thing. Do you think it's fine as a parent to demand bills such as rent from your working-class child because s/he stays in your house?

https://www.boredpanda.com/daughter-angry-mom-increases-contribution-to-bills/

N/B: this thread is not exactly what happened in the article above.

It's not moral for any responsible parent to ask there child for rent yes, if they have it why ask it in the first place and it the same time, it doesn't make any a child not to help their parents when they are in financial assistance. If they are down you should know because a child is supposed to know about their parent and likewise a parent is suppose to know about their parent financial status even though they might be good at pretense just so you can reach out.

If you are working class person, it will even be better if you help your parent build there home where they stay or perhaps just get your own place and help them get their own. It doesn't make any sense for you to be living with your parents when you have the means to stay alone except if there is health complications when there is need for you to stay with your parents.

[Mame89]

My question stems from a 2023 article of a woman who charged her daughter $75 per month to add to their bills since she now works.

Generally, working-class children who stay with their parents do so to be able to save up enough money to start a fresh journey in life. Although it's still cheap to contribute to the bills like paying rent, buying groceries, etc compared to when they live outside their parent's house. But, young people like the girl in the article find it outrageous. Going through the article I saw responses from parents who admit they do the same thing. Do you think it's fine as a parent to demand bills such as rent from your working-class child because s/he stays in your house?

https://www.boredpanda.com/daughter-angry-mom-increases-contribution-to-bills/

N/B: this thread is not exactly what happened in the article above.

I see this as the fault of parents who fail to educate their children. Because, if they succeed in educating their children, even without being asked, their children will help their mother, because it is only right that children are devoted to their parents. Moreover, living with their mother, of course if children are educated well, even without being asked, they will be useful to their mother.

From this incident, we must make this a lesson, especially for those who already have children. Educate and love your children sincerely, do not consider children as our investment (Later, when they have an income, they must "pay" you). What we need to understand is that children are a trust, who will accompany us in old age if in my religion (children who will take us to heaven). As parents, start working hard and saving from a young age so that you can be independent and have a pension fund when you are old so that you do not depend on your children. Don't be selfish, children also have needs.

[Miles2006]

Reading the article above shows the child is not happy about the decision, all this has to do with the relationship they both built like I have observed especially poor homes related to salary earning and contribution, children do play a role in family budget due to the financial burden but, if the child is not willing it’s okay. All this issue depends on the family financial ability, there’s nothing bad if a mom demands support from her child but it should be  considered if the child can handle such responsibility at a young age.

[kawetsriyanto]

I see this as the fault of parents who fail to educate their children. Because, if they succeed in educating their children, even without being asked, their children will help their mother, because it is only right that children are devoted to their parents. Moreover, living with their mother, of course if children are educated well, even without being asked, they will be useful to their mother.

Agree. Sometimes it is everything about how parents educate their children about about ethics, morals, and values ​​in life. If the parents educate well their children, the children will feel happy to help their parents. In this case, the old daughter will definitely help his mother willingly. As long as the old daughter has a job and the salary is capable to contribute £75 every month, it shouldn't be a problem. It is normal that children help their parents if they already have jobs.

From this incident, we must make this a lesson, especially for those who already have children. Educate and love your children sincerely, do not consider children as our investment (Later, when they have an income, they must "pay" you). What we need to understand is that children are a trust, ~~~

Sure, we must be careful in educating our children. As parents, we actually don't expect much of the money to get from our children. However, we must learn them how to be good people. Helping one another is good matter, especially helping old people. I'm also a father of 2 kids, I will never ask money from them but I will learn them to be generous people. When they become generous people, we don't need to ask money from them, they must help us without the need of asking them. And they must know the condition of their parents themselves, we don't need to tell them.

So, besides a trust, we also need to ensure that our children be generous people and care with parents. 

[iv4n]

From this incident, we must make this a lesson, especially for those who already have children. Educate and love your children sincerely, do not consider children as our investment (Later, when they have an income, they must "pay" you).

Perhaps this is not an incident, perhaps this is a lesson for parents on how to show their kids in action what "real life" is when they grow up and leave home. They will have to pay rent somewhere and have many other expenses... I think it is best learned through real examples... There are some interesting videos where a father explains to a child what tax is by eating half a cake before giving it to him, there are also some with hamburgers... he takes a big bite before giving it to him.

Children are not our investments, but we invest in them (in every possible way) as much as we can before they "spread their wings". We need to teach them how the world works, and the better we teach them, the easier it will be for them to manage tomorrow when they are adults. Don't get me wrong, I don't think we should charge rent to our kids...but this is an interesting way to explain to a grown teenager how the world works. There is no free lunch. I think that it's better to learn about "life stuff" sooner rather than later...

[retreat]

There may be pros and cons to this news, but I see that there is nothing wrong with it, especially since the parents do not really charge their children a few dollars in rent every month, they only ask for a little help from their salary to help with the needs of the house, and I think the child should be able to help their parents. Because I personally am the same, when I lived with my parents, I helped with the needs of the house by paying for electricity, etc., it does seem like a burden, but let's look at it from the other side and consider it as our effort to help lighten the burden of our parents.

Do you think it's fine as a parent to demand bills such as rent from your working-class child because s/he stays in your house?

Simply put, if the child lives in the house, then he should help contribute to pay for electricity or other things, even when his parents don't ask for it. Because as an adult and having an income, more or less a child should help his parents and contribute at home because that is where we live, unless he lives alone, that's a different case.

[ivankoh]

Humm, i think In some specific situations, is the son married and living with his mother? If so, the mother has the right to discuss and collect rent, which is completely normal. The second situation is that the son is not married and lives with his mother. This is an internal matter between them and the agreement is to contribute to the living expenses, electricity, internet, water, etc. for the mother instead of having to pay separately. As long as they find a suitable solution, all parents love their children very much.

[Kavelj22]

I live in a country with an Islamic religious culture where families live collectively with a large number of individuals, especially since the culture of procreation has an important place in our upbringing and customs. Any family in my country consists of the grandfather and grandmother and their children and all the children branching off from them. Some families may contain 30 to 40 individuals or even more, and they all live under the authority of the great grandfather. This family lives next to another family that is related to it. This patriarchal system of the family came as a result of economic circumstances that in the past required the family to be united to carry out agricultural activities and protect its crops, meaning that this system was useful.

Never in my life did I experience this type of family system of living, yet in the history of my community, people lived like this, before the western civilization. That was long ago, and the new generation do not remember how it was, so, most people prefer an independent lifestyle with their immediate family- husband, wife, and kids. Therefore, it's passed on to the next descendants. 

I expect that you, like me, live in a different environment than your parents did, and therefore you live with a modern family structure compared to them. But this does not mean that the traditional structure of the old family has disappeared, and I expect that there are areas in your country that still live in the same way. I understand the traditional family structure due to the nature of the old society that depended on agriculture, which required human resources that could only be achieved within the family framework, and therefore the family represented the labor force for the private field, in addition to providing protection as well.

Today the economic system has changed to include industry and services within the scope of global capitalism, and thus there has been something like a disintegration in the traditional family structure, and it has become more inclined towards individualism and personal independence. The old structure may seem backward to us by the standards of our time, but it was also considered an advanced structure compared to the systems that preceded it.

[DubemIfedigbo001]

Since the girl is working and makes a living, it's not a bad idea and in my own view of the subject matter, the parents are teaching her how to take responsibility and not being over relaxed about her upkeep and being overly dependent on her parents. She's got to learn how to be independent and provide for herself and I believe the parents are doing a good job on that. She's not going to be a child forever, so it's only nice she started learning what's obtainable with adulthood.

I've a friend that stays in his mother's building and he offered to pay rent tho his mum like other tenants, initially his mother forwarded, but he informed her that he needs to start taking responsibility of himself totally as a man and that was an undeniable part of it and also wanted to pack out of the building if she refused to collect the money. He now pays his rent and is no longer a total Mama's boy

[tottong]

Generally, working-class children who stay with their parents do so to be able to save up enough money to start a fresh journey in life. Although it's still cheap to contribute to the bills like paying rent, buying groceries, etc compared to when they live outside their parent's house. But, young people like the girl in the article find it outrageous. Going through the article I saw responses from parents who admit they do the same thing. Do you think it's fine as a parent to demand bills such as rent from your working-class child because s/he stays in your house?

It's just a matter of language and we see every child who has a stable job will definitely give money to their parents and that is a child's devotion to their parents.
As long as asking for a reasonable amount for me it is not a problem because we were raised by them and everything was paid for.
School, food and other needs from them so there is nothing wrong when we grow up doing the same thing as our parents did before.
Children who have grown up and have jobs do have an obligation to help their parents and that is natural.

The problem is when parents ask for bills but a child does not have a job so the pressure will be much greater on a child. Within reasonable limits I think it is not a problem when parents ask for bills from a child but the language may need to be simplified again.

[uswa56]

Humm, i think In some specific situations, is the son married and living with his mother? If so, the mother has the right to discuss and collect rent, which is completely normal. The second situation is that the son is not married and lives with his mother. This is an internal matter between them and the agreement is to contribute to the living expenses, electricity, internet, water, etc. for the mother instead of having to pay separately. As long as they find a suitable solution, all parents love their children very much.

We think as a boy, whether they are married or not, they must be able to help their parents in terms of their parents' needs and if they are married, of course, they still have to help their parents' needs, but as parents, of course, they will not ask for help from their children if they themselves have enough income to be able to meet their needs even though their children have worked and have an income and As a child who understands their responsibility to their parents, they will certainly give part of the income they have to their parents without them asking for it.

[Strongkored]

My question stems from a 2023 article of a woman who charged her daughter $75 per month to add to their bills since she now works.

That's the ideal thing in my opinion, there's nothing wrong with what the mother did to her daughter, because if her daughter lives outside she also has to pay rent, especially since the daughter is already working, meaning she is an adult and must be taught that in this life we ​​need money, not only for rent but also when buying food and other bills that must be paid, as long as what the mother has set is still reasonable, then it's good to teach her daughter to be responsible for living expenses, and I also do that give money to my parents since I can earn money, being useful to others is also an important thing in this life, but I know every country has a different culture that maybe this is not ideal but in the country where I live this is a normal thing to happen but parents do not set an amount they only tell their children to also cover the expenses at home.

[Dewi Aries]

Usually overall the majority of parents always want the best for their children, they are happy when they see their children have got a job, especially if the salary is quite large, and actually parents do not want to burden a child, but however they cannot lie to themselves when they are in a difficult situation especially in terms of finances, meaning I would assume that asking a child for money to help pay for the rent is a reasonable thing to do, not meaning forcing, but in the sense of helping to ease the burden of both parents who have given birth to and raised you.

And I think a child should understand and comprehend about the situation of their parents, they should not think that it is a demand, because actually parents would not want to burden a child if they are still able to solve their own problems, but as I said above that there will always be bad situations that occur in the family's main finances so that both parents have no choice but to ask for help from a child who is already working to help ease their burden a little in terms of expenses.

[bakasabo]

Sad to see parents and kids argue about money. Like there are no other problems in their family. I think that the word "demand" isnt the best word to use in this situation. It sounds like an ultimatum, but from the article, it is said that mother only asked extra 15 GBP from her daughters, in addition to 50 GBP she has been paying already. Mother asked for that money because cost of living has increased, but her daughter earns 800 GBP per month, has some benefits at work, and spend money unwise. I feel shame for her daughter, because for such a small amount she has created a discord in the family. Mother charge her monthly rent not because of sweet life.

[Majestic-milf]

 Personally, I don't see anything wrong with that. If they are old enough to work and get money for themselves, I think they should be also old enough to contribute in paying the bills that way you teach them some form of responsibility and help them to get prepared for when they start living on their own, because this things won't look burdensome when they face the challenges themselves.
 I know of parents who shield their kids from things like this and even make excuses for them but will go ahead and champion the cause of other parents who demand such form of involvement from their kids.
According to the story, the parent asked for $75 out of $800 and if you check it, the amount doesn't even scratch the surface of what the child earns so I really don't see why the daughter should be whining. For all we know, she could pay more than that if she were to live alone.

[bakasabo]

That mother can solve this problem simply - show her daughter door and look what room, house or flat she will find for 65gbp/month (imho that is impossible). She will run back quickly with lots of apologies. Mother should show her who is the boss, who is the head of the family. Because it is obvious that her daughter give her little respect, and this story is not about should parents demand rent, but about parenting and behavior.

[Judith87403]

My question stems from a 2023 article of a woman who charged her daughter $75 per month to add to their bills since she now works.

Generally, working-class children who stay with their parents do so to be able to save up enough money to start a fresh journey in life. Although it's still cheap to contribute to the bills like paying rent, buying groceries, etc compared to when they live outside their parent's house. But, young people like the girl in the article find it outrageous. Going through the article I saw responses from parents who admit they do the same thing. Do you think it's fine as a parent to demand bills such as rent from your working-class child because s/he stays in your house?

https://www.boredpanda.com/daughter-angry-mom-increases-contribution-to-bills/

N/B: this thread is not exactly what happened in the article above.

Well in my own opinion I don't think if there's anything wrong when a parent demand for Bills from their children, though I don't know about other people but for me is fine, the most important thing is that he's a working-class child and he's well to do. Morever is still part of the responsibility as a child because if your parents get to the age of 80 to 90 you will still be the one to take care of everything is your obligation as the child to help your parents in sorting out their bills, the only reason why most children will see this the other way round is because they're not well to do.

[Iamgoat]

Humm, i think In some specific situations, is the son married and living with his mother? If so, the mother has the right to discuss and collect rent, which is completely normal. The second situation is that the son is not married and lives with his mother. This is an internal matter between them and the agreement is to contribute to the living expenses, electricity, internet, water, etc. for the mother instead of having to pay separately. As long as they find a suitable solution, all parents love their children very much.

If I were the parent, I wont take house rent from my son or daughter, I will see it as my responsibility to shoulder but sill it will depend on my financial muscles at the time. If I'm strong and well to do, I won't put it on my ward to share the house rent with me instead I will encourage my ward to invest the money he's making into something profitable for himself and the family .

[IkTrump923]

My question stems from a 2023 article of a woman who charged her daughter $75 per month to add to their bills since she now works.

Generally, working-class children who stay with their parents do so to be able to save up enough money to start a fresh journey in life. Although it's still cheap to contribute to the bills like paying rent, buying groceries, etc compared to when they live outside their parent's house. But, young people like the girl in the article find it outrageous. Going through the article I saw responses from parents who admit they do the same thing. Do you think it's fine as a parent to demand bills such as rent from your working-class child because s/he stays in your house?

Carrying responsibility is a very complicated thing, which require long time  learning and Cool experience before doving into real life. To me, this is a right upbring shown by the mother to her daughter as this act will teach her daughter to be financially independent.

In addition, wrong expression from the mother may result to misunderstanding. Before this action, cool communication and interactive conversation should take place between both parties for the mother to properly express the usefulness of her decision that should end end with mutual agreements. Finally the mother should not impose it on her daughter as it may be mis leading.

[bakasabo]

If I were the parent, I wont take house rent from my son or daughter, I will see it as my responsibility to shoulder but sill it will depend on my financial muscles at the time. If I'm strong and well to do, I won't put it on my ward to share the house rent with me instead I will encourage my ward to invest the money he's making into something profitable for himself and the family .

So you will be working on a 2-3 jobs to be able to pay rent/bills/buy food and clothes, while seeing your kid lays on a sofa and spending his money on, I dont know, branded clothes and gadgets? I fully agree that we are responsible for out children, and we should not ask for a financial help. But as I see it, we should raise or children so, that they understand that sometimes it is tough for a parents to do everything himself, and sometimes parents require help. Otherwise it looks like a voluntary slavery.