Is it Ideal for parents to demand rent from their child who stays with them?

[shield132]

Apologies but I can't agree with forum members about this topic. Parents shouldn't demand rent from their children, instead, they should help their children to earn as much money as possible with as few expenses as possible. This will help their children to collect money, invest in something valuable, start a business and etc... If parents demand rent from their children, this will make hard for their children to collect money and they'll remain paycheck to paycheck for a very long time because it's very hard to upgrade in life when you have to pay money and work unskilled jobs. If you want to start working in skilled jobs, you have to get skills and experience. To get experience, you'll have to work for free or work on a low salary, you need money for that, not additional expenses. If parents help their children, then their children will achieve something greater in life and it will significantly benefit to parents because financially successful children will take care of their parents. Today parents pay bills but tomorrow children will pay and parents will rest. This is the culture in my country, this is the way people live here.

[Huppercase]

My question stems from a 2023 article of a woman who charged her daughter $75 per month to add to their bills since she now works.

Generally, working-class children who stay with their parents do so to be able to save up enough money to start a fresh journey in life. Although it's still cheap to contribute to the bills like paying rent, buying groceries, etc compared to when they live outside their parent's house. But, young people like the girl in the article find it outrageous. Going through the article I saw responses from parents who admit they do the same thing. Do you think it's fine as a parent to demand bills such as rent from your working-class child because s/he stays in your house?

https://www.boredpanda.com/daughter-angry-mom-increases-contribution-to-bills/

N/B: this thread is not exactly what happened in the article above.

This is all wrong if the parent has the means and still demand it from their child. I mean parent responsibility is to take care of their children isn't? Why put the responsibility on their head when you still have the means. However, if the parent doesn't have the means, there is nothing wrong in asking from their child if they have the means of earning and have the amount, there should be support coming from both ways so everyone can leave happily.

The children should also be supportive if they have the means to make money. You can't be leaving large and making huge amount of money without helping your parents, financially provide for them and not until they ask for it and it's not when they asked you will provide, you should be there for them at all means if the child have the means to make the money.

[dezoel]

It is normal for parents to ask for financial assistance from their children, not because they are renting from their parents' house, but this teaches responsibility and mutual respect between families. I used to do the same, helping my parents with electricity bills and even food costs. I helped my parents until now. I still help. Remember the sacrifices of our parents until we are at this point now.

Life is completely different in different parts of the world because we are having change of cultures many other things as well in our region we have few things much better as living in joint family is helping all even now it is falling badly due to high inflation and many other problems but many still love to live as this because they fill comfortable with this but in wester world we have things completely different and as kids are having young age they shift because they want to start their own journey.

But in few cases, they love to live with their parents which is not bad at all and if parents are asking for their help in few cases then surely it's also not bad even if they are asking for the rent it's okay because now they are also looking for things which are not possible for them while they were on their duty so for me, it's not bad.

Do you think it's fine as a parent to demand bills such as rent from your working-class child because s/he stays in your house?

It's responsible of next generations to contribute to parent's expenses after getting earning of their own. Parent's responsible is to raise and educate their kids and then children become adult then they must take care of their parents and their spouse and then kids. So, demands by parents is not wrong because its child's responsibility..

[el kaka22]

We could argue that it could be about how parents could request help, that's a different situation. Like if the child is no longer a child but an adult now, and the family just wants help, then it makes sense that they request rent or anything else, because they are not demanding something just for fun.

Like if the parents are rich, but just ask for rent because they want to teach a lesson? Then yeah that doesn't seem like a good thing to do, or maybe they have an idea I do not know, but if the parents are poor, and the child is now working and making a salary? Then it is normal for a child to help, even if you do not live with your parents, even if you are married and have kids, you could help your parents if they are in need of help. These are two very different situations, and because of that we need more information on the parents and we need more information on the child as well, without more data we can't really know if it's a good thing or a bad thing.

[iBaba]

This is all wrong if the parent has the means and still demand it from their child. I mean parent responsibility is to take care of their children isn't? Why put the responsibility on their head when you still have the means. However, if the parent doesn't have the means, there is nothing wrong in asking from their child if they have the means of earning and have the amount, there should be support coming from both ways so everyone can leave happily.

I am not surprised that we are having this conversation right here because we just had similar discussions with an older neighbor today who's also a parent and his point of view to this issue was totally against parents putting their children on the pressure of supporting them in paying house rents or renovating their houses in the name of the position they hold in the child's life. The moment they see the child with a little source of income, most of these parents who are not sick and do not completely lack what to take care of the family with, begin to mandate responsibilities on the child to cater for their needs or at worst share their responsibilities in taking care of the household.

The children should also be supportive if they have the means to make money. You can't be leaving large and making huge amount of money without helping your parents, financially provide for them and not until they ask for it and it's not when they asked you will provide, you should be there for them at all means if the child have the means to make the money.

I understand that the children are meant to shoulder some of these responsibilities if the needs arises especially during the periods the parents are incapacitated, but it should not be a way of exploiting them kind of. Some parents habit is to pressure their children by persuading them to share some responsibilities thereby denying the children the ability to plan their own lives too. If you want your kids to grow significantly, you must learn to support their thriving career and not to exploit them in the name of parenthood.

[CK485]

Apologies but I can't agree with forum members about this topic. Parents shouldn't demand rent from their children, instead, they should help their children to earn as much money as possible with as few expenses as possible. This will help their children to collect money, invest in something valuable, start a business and etc... If parents demand rent from their children, this will make hard for their children to collect money and they'll remain paycheck to paycheck for a very long time because it's very hard to upgrade in life when you have to pay money and work unskilled jobs. If you want to start working in skilled jobs, you have to get skills and experience. To get experience, you'll have to work for free or work on a low salary, you need money for that, not additional expenses. If parents help their children, then their children will achieve something greater in life and it will significantly benefit to parents because financially successful children will take care of their parents. Today parents pay bills but tomorrow children will pay and parents will rest. This is the culture in my country, this is the way people live here.

Although parents are also part of a child's obligation to take care of them, when parents are starting to become unable to work, it is not good for parents to ask for rent from their children because it becomes a burden for the child, so it is difficult for the child to progress, by not being able to save to achieve the goals they want to achieve.

[uneng]

I think each case is unique. Maybe the parents have reasons to charge a rent from their sons, or maybe they are just bad parents who don't care about the welfare and progress of their children at all... What I see is that the new generation doesn't want to have responsabilities, so they remain on their parents' house for a long time, without helping them in anyways, besides demanding an allowance, just like when they were kids. And they keep abusing their parents like that without limits.

Then it's totally right that parents start stipulating limits and demanding help and effort from their sons in order to allow them to continue living together. To charge a rent will force them outside the comfort zone they are used to, so who knows, they can finally change their behavior into a more responsible and autonomous one. After all, parents don't last forever and sons have to learn how to live by themselves at some point...

[JeffBrad12]

They should not charge but help each other instead, economy is tough for the gen z, housing is not affordable anymore, I think anyone living in this modern world should just help each other and also frugal living.
since that's the case, if the parent is well off, I think charging their own family is just wrong, they should help the kid to save money for buying houses and so on.

it will also mean they will become independent from their parent when the they have saved enough money to actually live on their own.

[reagansimms]

~Snip~

Although parents are also part of a child's obligation to take care of them, when parents are starting to become unable to work, it is not good for parents to ask for rent from their children because it becomes a burden for the child, so it is difficult for the child to progress, by not being able to save to achieve the goals they want to achieve.

When parents are no longer productive in earning money, their children must pay attention and help lighten their parents' burden by giving them some of the money they earn. Supporting parents' needs is a child's obligation, especially if they still live in the same house. I don't think the attitude of the parents that OP described was too excessive, maybe the child only cares about his own needs without caring about the fate of the other person even though he is still staying there. What I mean is, when parents feel excluded or their existence is not considered, parents will try to reprimand their children to be wiser, especially since the amount requested is not too large and will be used for shared needs.

[GigaBit]

I don't think there is any problem if child earns money through work to support the family and gives a small portion of the earnings to the family. Although the title sounds a bit negative for some but it actually has no negative role to play just needs to be taken positively. A family's financial condition may not be good, if any member of the family makes a financial contribution, there is no chance to see it as a negative. Rather, through this, children learn to rely on themselves instead of depending on others. I don't think there is any chance of this being taken as a negative in any way. There are many parents who do not give priority to money and do such practice to make their children self-reliant.

[Smack That Ace]

Apologies but I can't agree with forum members about this topic. Parents shouldn't demand rent from their children, instead, they should help their children to earn as much money as possible with as few expenses as possible. This will help their children to collect money, invest in something valuable, start a business and etc... If parents demand rent from their children, this will make hard for their children to collect money and they'll remain paycheck to paycheck for a very long time because it's very hard to upgrade in life when you have to pay money and work unskilled jobs. If you want to start working in skilled jobs, you have to get skills and experience. To get experience, you'll have to work for free or work on a low salary, you need money for that, not additional expenses. If parents help their children, then their children will achieve something greater in life and it will significantly benefit to parents because financially successful children will take care of their parents. Today parents pay bills but tomorrow children will pay and parents will rest. This is the culture in my country, this is the way people live here.

Although parents are also part of a child's obligation to take care of them, when parents are starting to become unable to work, it is not good for parents to ask for rent from their children because it becomes a burden for the child, so it is difficult for the child to progress, by not being able to save to achieve the goals they want to achieve.

If you think your parents are a burden and hinder your future development, you should think again, who gave birth to you and without your parents, you would not be here today. Those who consider their parents a burden are failures, complete failures in life.

If you treat your parents that way, how would you feel if your children treated you that way in the future?

No parent wants to be a burden to their children but sometimes things don't go as expected, and as children, we have a responsibility to the people who gave birth to and raised us. Honestly, if we are grown up and can make money, but we can't do these most basic things, then we are just useless, failures in this society.

[mich]

Yes I believe it’s fair to charge your kids rent to live with you. Especially if your children are over the age of 18 years. At that age, you’re consider a young adult and should be able to find a job and go to work.
With the money they make you will charge them only a few hundreds dollars for the rent. Show them that once you become an adult life is not free. This also shows him how to be responsible and if they wanna get their own car and cell phone that will be up to their responsibility to make those purchases in life.

[Stablexcoin]

In situations like this. My first question would be how old is the child? and also how is the mother?

It would be wrong to charge her daughter who is just out of high school or college and starts a life. Some parents don't want to know the nature of the job their children are doing to get that money at that young age. The fact that the child just came out fresh into society to hustle and make money doesn't mean his successful yet, he/she has to grow to a limit that they can fully fend for themselves and have more to give out freely.

Also, if the mother is young and capable of working why won't she do that instead of relying on her daughter? It makes sense that she had asked for money to support her business or start a business instead of housing for money for rent.

[Fiatless]

In situations like this. My first question would be how old is the child? and also how is the mother?

It would be wrong to charge her daughter who is just out of high school or college and starts a life. Some parents don't want to know the nature of the job their children are doing to get that money at that young age. The fact that the child just came out fresh into society to hustle and make money doesn't mean his successful yet, he/she has to grow to a limit that they can fully fend for themselves and have more to give out freely.

Also, if the mother is young and capable of working why won't she do that instead of relying on her daughter? It makes sense that she had asked for money to support her business or start a business instead of housing for money for rent.

The mother is not relying on her but asking for contributions or support to pay rent. In some countries, house rent is expensive, and it takes the majority of people's income. The main consideration should be how financially stable the mother is and not her age. You don't also expect the mother to overwork herself when she has a child that can be of help. Every child's wish is to come out of college fast, get a job and assist their parents who have sacrificed so much for them.

Some children earn more than their parents, so they should support them financially. It might be abnormal to ask your child for assistance if you have enough, but a good child will freely assist a parent.

[lizarder]

Well the age depends on that in my culture. Meaning that if you are ages between 18 to 30, then in most cases you do not help your parents unless they need help, obviously if they need help then you will help because you live with them and they have financial issues so why wouldn't you help them. However, if they do not need help and you are under 30 then you are not going to help your parents since they are already taking care of it. But even if they are rich, if you go over 30 and you still live with them?

This is very very rare in most cases, then it means you start to help with stuff, it could be financial like paying the bills, or it could be basically taking care of the house, like cleaning, laundry, ironing, cooking etc etc, you need to help one way or another after that. Why that difference? Because before 30 they consider you as someone who is trying to get out, trying to build your own life, and they do not want to take a dime off you so you can save and start your life, but after 30 it's obvious that you aren't going anywhere so they start to consider you as staying forever.

That means still in the assistance stage is not a reason to ask for rent and in my culture it is the same every child who has extra money will definitely help their parents but is never required to pay rent at the agreed price. When talking about a child who does not have a stable source of income then the parents will definitely help and that is a common thing, but a responsible child will definitely find a way to make money because they definitely have responsibilities especially if they are married.

Every culture may be different and that is a unique difference because we cannot possibly see the same culture between each other. In a simpler sense paying rent means having an obligation to pay and maybe parents give the burden to the child to pay it. If a child sees it not as a burden maybe it would be much better because they can help their parents. Because when we were little until we were adults, our parents have sacrificed a lot of themselves for us to grow up and be successful, so there is nothing wrong with wanting to give that, but it is unwise to call it paying rent to our parents.

[Accardo]

Every culture may be different and that is a unique difference because we cannot possibly see the same culture between each other. In a simpler sense paying rent means having an obligation to pay and maybe parents give the burden to the child to pay it. If a child sees it not as a burden maybe it would be much better because they can help their parents. Because when we were little until we were adults, our parents have sacrificed a lot of themselves for us to grow up and be successful, so there is nothing wrong with wanting to give that, but it is unwise to call it paying rent to our parents.

It’s an obligation to assist our parents in reaching their needs. Be it paying the bills, or cleaning the house, the key thing is—love. Quite well, all fingers are not equal, individuals are different, yet family bills shouldn’t be made solo. Division of labor boosts wealth and happiness in a home.

However, “it takes a village to raise a child” and most parents can’t put up with a nonchalant grown-up staying in their home, without paying a dime. So, to teach the child that he must own up for his carelessness, they’ll demand that he pays some fractions of the bills.

[TheUltraElite]

Some children earn more than their parents, so they should support them financially. It might be abnormal to ask your child for assistance if you have enough, but a good child will freely assist a parent.

It is the norm in our country and it is something I support because parents sacrifice a lot to bring up their child to a earning adult. They become old and dependent on their offsprings and this leads to a sense of responsibility, you should not leave them at old age homes to rot and die of diseases as long as it is feasible enough.

Most older parents will help out with the housework, grandchild rearing and spend their pension for their upcoming family. This sense goes through generations and is something that prevents loneliness and fosters a family mentality in the grandchild too.

[Solosanz]

Although parents are also part of a child's obligation to take care of them, when parents are starting to become unable to work, it is not good for parents to ask for rent from their children because it becomes a burden for the child, so it is difficult for the child to progress, by not being able to save to achieve the goals they want to achieve.

What you're talking about?

Children has no obligation to take care of their parents, there's no agreement the parents and the children discuss about this before the parents give a birth. Children never ask their parents to live in this world.

If the parents are getting older and become unable to work, they should move to old-age homes. Nurses will take care of them, all they need is pay the rent and service. If they can't afford to pay old-age homes fees, that's the parents mistake.

[LogitechMouse]

Re: Is it Ideal for parents to demand rent from their child who stays with them?

I don't think that the parents need to demand it to their children to help them with the bills on the home. It's a MUST in my opinion that the children when they have a job already must help their parents with the monthly bills on the home.

I can still remember back when I graduated in college. I'm ashamed of myself because after I graduated, I can't find a job for at least 8 months and my parents are the one supporting me instead of the other way around. Luckily, I find a job at that time, and I helped my parents with the monthly bills immediately (even though it's a small amount, at least I helped).

Although parents are also part of a child's obligation to take care of them, when parents are starting to become unable to work, it is not good for parents to ask for rent from their children because it becomes a burden for the child, so it is difficult for the child to progress, by not being able to save to achieve the goals they want to achieve.

What you're talking about?

Children has no obligation to take care of their parents, there's no agreement the parents and the children discuss about this before the parents give a birth. Children never ask their parents to live in this world.

If the parents are getting older and become unable to work, they should move to old-age homes. Nurses will take care of them, all they need is pay the rent and service. If they can't afford to pay old-age homes fees, that's the parents mistake.

I don't think that it's an obligation to take care our parents, but we can still do this out of our love for them.

We aren't obliged yes, and there's no agreement, but that doesn't mean that we don't do it because after all, they're the one who raised us at first place. Take care of our parents not because we're obliged to do it, but because we love them. As a family-oriented person, it's hard to be away from my parents, but I need to because I want to be independent. I'm still talking with them still though and showing my love for them in a different way. I'm not obliged to do it, but I wanted to because I love them.

Too harsh coming from you, but that's the reality and I understand that.

[Hamza2424]

Why not, wouldn't they be paying the rent elsewhere if they weren't saying with their parents. They should pay the rent though I think it shouldn't be as outrageous as when they're staying on their own. The rent should be a sign of them not getting a handout because many youths aren't that serious with their lifes anymore. This generation are producing too many weak people and I just pray they can survive and continue the human race because the generation is lazy, has no hustling spirit just waiting on God to send them bread as he did to the Israelites.  All they do is be on social media from morning untill night and it's only a few of them that makes money from there.

Do you think it's fine as a parent to demand bills such as rent from your working-class child because s/he stays in your house?

If other parents won't, I'll when I get childs and they come of age to be out of my house to go live on their own but aren't doing that yet because I don't want to raise a dependent child, someone who has everything given to them for free then they don't know the value of money and how to hustle for their survival. I pray I don't have to asked them for rent though because they should be on their own when they're adults just as I did when I came of age to leave my parents house.

Hmm, TBH living with your parents should not be a bad thing, you can stay with your parents even after marriage if you are able to fulfill the responsibilities off your parents and wife as well.

Technology is sucking most of the things, as we are in our comfort zone, my dad and my grandfather were the ones who struggled hard in there and they bore all the hardships and they were great people as I've heard this line "hard times make great people and great and great people make living comfortable, that comfort zone make lazy people and these lazy people make living hard. this the cycle of life".

The rest of the destruction is the social media here I'm talking about daily vlogging culture and this tikTok reel nudity which can be categorized as soft adult content for children of age below 15, for the future you know better what they are gonna do.

In the end, I would say again Love your parents it's the time.