Pregnancy before marriage or after marriage, which do you prefer?

[Kavelj22]

While the traditional view of marriage before pregnancy is prevalent, I believe that pregnancy can be a valid reason for marriage.
Ultimately, the decision to get married or have children should be based on individual circumstances and what works best for you.

Having children before marriage also represents a potential instance of irresponsibility. Most childbearing occurs without the consent of one or both partners, and therefore the choice to marry often leads to unsuccessful outcomes. Childbearing should be a conscious decision, not a situation imposed by force, simply because it requires a degree of responsibility that both parties must commit to, rather than a unilateral decision.

It is good to follow the due procedure before getting pregnant.
By right pregnancy should not coming before marriage, 1st courtship  the time two partner  has a romantic relationship before they get married.
2nd  marriage:is the state of being married.
It is good for a young lady to get married before marriage , but why some young men like their dat to get pregnant before marriage is because of what is happening in this 21st century some many young girls has no womb that is why some young men like their girl to have pregnant before marriage

What do you mean by saying that It is good for a young lady to get married before marriage? I can't really get your point but i will try to resume key ideas: It is important for any man and woman to be in a relationship for a sufficient period of time before deciding to get married. I emphasize that this should be before the decision to get married, not the decision to have a child. In Eastern societies, we call this the engagement period, which precedes the step of marriage. The engaged couple spends this period getting to know each other better and experiencing some shared experiences so that they can become accustomed to each other's personalities and determine whether they can continue. Then, after making the decision to get married, they take the time to make the decision to have and raise a child. This is a logical and sound approach, but what happens in many societies is that the decision to get married is inevitable due to having a child during the dating period, without either party wanting to. This often leads to deliberate neglect of the family and children, especially if they continue to have more.

[BADecker]

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It is good to follow the due procedure before getting pregnant.
By right pregnancy should not coming before marriage, 1st courtship  the time two partner  has a romantic relationship before they get married.
2nd  marriage:is the state of being married.
It is good for a young lady to get married before marriage , but why some young men like their dat to get pregnant before marriage is because of what is happening in this 21st century some many young girls has no womb that is why some young men like their girl to have pregnant before marriage

What do you mean by saying that It is good for a young lady to get married before marriage? I can't really get your point but i will try to resume key ideas: It is important for any man and woman to be in a relationship for a sufficient period of time before deciding to get married. I emphasize that this should be before the decision to get married, not the decision to have a child. In Eastern societies, we call this the engagement period, which precedes the step of marriage. The engaged couple spends this period getting to know each other better and experiencing some shared experiences so that they can become accustomed to each other's personalities and determine whether they can continue. Then, after making the decision to get married, they take the time to make the decision to have and raise a child. This is a logical and sound approach, but what happens in many societies is that the decision to get married is inevitable due to having a child during the dating period, without either party wanting to. This often leads to deliberate neglect of the family and children, especially if they continue to have more.

James Dobson P.Hd., formerly of Focus on the Family, says that a couple should spend a full year getting to know each other, before getting married, and without having sexual intercourse in all that time. I agree with him, except in cases where the couple are both 60-y-o or older.

Sexual intercourse IS getting married. Why. Because it is the special action that starts a new person, the baby, which is a marriage of  the man with the woman, genetically. Even if we are certain that a baby will not be started, it's the act that is a potential for the start of a new life.

Intercourse without a formal, written and agreed to marriage ahead of time, is a way that can be an easy divorce. The whole marriage thing is to make a safe and secure life for the new person, the baby, that could potentially come about. The second thing - especially for older people getting married - is that it is an example for the younger people.

Formally get married before the sexual intercourse marriage, so that there is security in the nation.

A third benefit is that an intimate couple share all kinds of 'chemicals' between them... chemicals that they each have to get used to. This includes all kinds of parasites that are unique to the two of them. In addition, they both get samples of each others' DNA in their brains. Recognition of this DNA makes for a kind of natural compatibility and security-of-togetherness, subconsciously, for the both of them.

Much of the 'trouble' between couples who have been previously married to someone else, lies in the fact of the brain not recognizing the new DNA of the new partner. The brain compares the DNA of the former partner with the DNA of the new partner, and the 'match' isn't there. This causes deep-down instability... and especially with partners who have had sex with many other people. So, be prepared for some troubles with a new partner.

[Uhwuchukwu53]

This topic seem paradoxical statement because both are inevitable in reality of marriage either ways goes right depends on the people culture and what the people going into the marriage want and agreed because marriage is induce with agreement, take the goat and tie the rope and trope and tie the goat means the same but perceived differently according to the interpreter in my opinion it's a thing of choice if truely there's a room of such in the culture.

[Solosanz]

What do you mean by saying that It is good for a young lady to get married before marriage? I can't really get your point but i will try to resume key ideas: It is important for any man and woman to be in a relationship for a sufficient period of time before deciding to get married. I emphasize that this should be before the decision to get married, not the decision to have a child. In Eastern societies, we call this the engagement period, which precedes the step of marriage. The engaged couple spends this period getting to know each other better and experiencing some shared experiences so that they can become accustomed to each other's personalities and determine whether they can continue. Then, after making the decision to get married, they take the time to make the decision to have and raise a child. This is a logical and sound approach, but what happens in many societies is that the decision to get married is inevitable due to having a child during the dating period, without either party wanting to. This often leads to deliberate neglect of the family and children, especially if they continue to have more.

I know exactly the eastern societies, but engagement period is actually a step where both of them are sure they will get married, it's no longer a selection step. From what you wrote, engagement period is like selection step where both of them are still not convinced yet.

There's another way of "knowing each other" in Islam, where both of them not engaged, but they're approaching each other with their family. Usually both only know each other for 1 month - 3 months which is crazy I think, you won't know the real character if it's that short.

Although having a relationship is haram, but it's better because if you both already know for many years, high likely you both already reveal your real character.

[Kavelj22]

What do you mean by saying that It is good for a young lady to get married before marriage? I can't really get your point but i will try to resume key ideas: It is important for any man and woman to be in a relationship for a sufficient period of time before deciding to get married. I emphasize that this should be before the decision to get married, not the decision to have a child. In Eastern societies, we call this the engagement period, which precedes the step of marriage. The engaged couple spends this period getting to know each other better and experiencing some shared experiences so that they can become accustomed to each other's personalities and determine whether they can continue. Then, after making the decision to get married, they take the time to make the decision to have and raise a child. This is a logical and sound approach, but what happens in many societies is that the decision to get married is inevitable due to having a child during the dating period, without either party wanting to. This often leads to deliberate neglect of the family and children, especially if they continue to have more.

I know exactly the eastern societies, but engagement period is actually a step where both of them are sure they will get married, it's no longer a selection step. From what you wrote, engagement period is like selection step where both of them are still not convinced yet.

There's another way of "knowing each other" in Islam, where both of them not engaged, but they're approaching each other with their family. Usually both only know each other for 1 month - 3 months which is crazy I think, you won't know the real character if it's that short.

Although having a relationship is haram, but it's better because if you both already know for many years, high likely you both already reveal your real character.

The close proximity between families in the establishment of marriage is a negative factor in Eastern societies. This closeness prevents partners from fully understanding each other's personalities, including their suitability for the responsibilities of shared life, most importantly childbearing and childcare. Evidence of this is the disproportionate number of divorce cases in courts, particularly those involving child neglect and irresponsibility.

I'm not saying this only exists in Eastern societies, but rather all societies with cultures that condemn relationships between the two sexes outside of marriage. In such cases, the powers granted to families exceed what partners can exercise within a partnership. Partnership before marriage is a partnership between families, not between the two parties who will bear responsibility later on.

[Samlucky O]

In my observations in our society today,there is an increasing rate up to ninety percent of men that prefer their woman to be pregnant before marriage, reason been that they feel most women have messed up their wombs out of youthful exuberance and may not be able to concieve again and for this reason most bachelors wouldn't want to stay in a marriage without a child and at such they prefer having a confirmed pregnancy result before proceducing for any marital right, what are your stand on this?

In the western world, no body thinks of this ideology. This often or mostly happens in Africa where people think that childbearing is more important than their relationship. But in an actual sense what matters most is love. you don't need to impregnate your spouse to be sure if she is potent, what matters in a relationship is love, respect and understanding. So if Both are good then children should come as a gift. But if for any reason children are not coming, there is room for adoption. So we don't Mary for children, we Mary for love. Children should come as a gift from God. If you are so much concerned about children without considering the other characters you may be misleaded to make a wrong choice or decision because of confirming if your spouse is fertile. Then what if you impregnate her and confirm she is fertile while you are not yet ready for that marriage, are you going to force her into abortion? Or will you go ahead to Mary her after she is pregnant knowing true well that she has bad character?

[Pearl_20]

We are in a society where women are dragged mostly when it comes to infertility, but we also fail to realize that men suffer from this medical illness as well.

Most childlessness doesn't really comes as a result of careless life been lived in the past, some could be that God is testing their marriage sha! But getting pregnant before marriage just to prove a point that you're fertile is a Big NO for me.. I'm totally against it, if the guy wants to know during the period of courtship or dating they can visit the hospital for all that check-ups.

[POPOLUV]

Most men prefer pregnancy before marriage because of the ability to check if their woman they are getting married to will be able to be pregnant, why in a normal way many society adept the marriage before pregnancy because if eventually get pregnant out of wedlock it is abomination to so many tradition in the society and in some tradition in the society today, for you to have the access to the woman are about to marry, you must perform all the traditional right before you can get her pregnant, so in my own believe, i prefer marriage before pregnancy because it is the right thing to do.

[EluguHcman]

Let me take this up from the insight of my culture as an African. We prioritizes marriage as a union to live together and forever affirmatively to bear children and whereas the wife is been unable to conceive, they both begin to worry about which of the partners fault it is which would lead to medical test running to resolve whatever that maybe the problem and if by means all sorts of tests and research has been made and to no avail, the man may have no option than to pick another wife because bearing a biological parent is very necessary in the African culture unlike some cultures that are not bothered about biological children Instead they prefers to adopt.

And nowadays that youths has not been careful about their health especially the abuse of sexuality, both males and females has become fond of drugs intake to support their performance which substance may have reproductive side effects between between both the male and the females organs.
And one of the effective cause of the females being unable to conceive in marriage is the repercussions of abortions during their youthful life when they were single.

So as for me, I will feel the real man having my own biological children and not adoption and so, I would not want to pick a second wife either due to her inability to conceive and with the trends of nowadays that youths has become neglected health wise and only look out to fun, I suggest pregnancy before marriage but if partners has checkmate on themselves and are sure of no negative effects to breach reproduction, it is okay to go marriage before pregnancy because by then, all reproductive fitness is assured in orderliness.

[Lolipo]

Pregnancy before or after marriage a very delicate topic; in recent times the world has become a little less decent,where immorality is seen as a norm and considered the modern order of the day ,in the olden days sex before marriage is considered immoral talk of even being pregnant before marriage is considered over the bar per say, but in the modern society now where the rate of immorality is very high ,u see kids having multiple abortions, having sex like it is a daily necessity, you begin to ponder , you meet a lot of ladies who have lost the ability to give birth, because of their past lives, so the question beckons, pregnancy before marriage would be the best option, so you know what you are going into, a lot of atrocities are being committed by these young generation ,so its better to test the car before taking it home, so u would not come back to complain.

[Fiatless]

Most men prefer pregnancy before marriage because of the ability to check if their woman they are getting married to will be able to be pregnant, why in a normal way many society adept the marriage before pregnancy because if eventually get pregnant out of wedlock it is abomination to so many tradition in the society and in some tradition in the society today, for you to have the access to the woman are about to marry, you must perform all the traditional right before you can get her pregnant, so in my own believe, i prefer marriage before pregnancy because it is the right thing to do.

Impregnating a girl because you want to be sure if she will give birth doesn't look right to me. What if she loses the pregnancy and can't conceive after marriage?

But in some societies, marriage is so expensive that many people can't afford it. In this case, it might be reasonable for a man to impregnate a woman if both of them agree. My advice might be seen as immoral. But what do you expect a low-income earner to do when he cannot afford the high price that is placed on marriage ceremonies?

[GiftedMAN]

Most men prefer pregnancy before marriage because of the ability to check if their woman they are getting married to will be able to be pregnant, why in a normal way many society adept the marriage before pregnancy because if eventually get pregnant out of wedlock it is abomination to so many tradition in the society and in some tradition in the society today, for you to have the access to the woman are about to marry, you must perform all the traditional right before you can get her pregnant, so in my own believe, i prefer marriage before pregnancy because it is the right thing to do.

Impregnating a girl because you want to be sure if she will give birth doesn't look right to me. What if she loses the pregnancy and can't conceive after marriage?

But in some societies, marriage is so expensive that many people can't afford it. In this case, it might be reasonable for a man to impregnate a woman if both of them agree. My advice might be seen as immoral. But what do you expect a low-income earner to do when he cannot afford the high price that is placed on marriage ceremonies?

I do not support the ideal of using pregnancy to know if a woman can give birth instead of getting her pregnant why not go for fertility test and other series of test to confirm for your self if you do not believe in sex after marriage.

Also if you find yourself in a society where the cost of bride price is so expensive the best thing you could do should be going for a lady that you two can come together and agree on what to do to get married to each other even though it means working together to raise the money before getting married.

[Majestic-milf]

In my observations in our society today,there is an increasing rate up to ninety percent of men that prefer their woman to be pregnant before marriage, reason been that they feel most women have messed up their wombs out of youthful exuberance and may not be able to concieve again and for this reason most bachelors wouldn't want to stay in a marriage without a child and at such they prefer having a confirmed pregnancy result before proceducing for any marital right, what are your stand on this?

If I'm not mistaken, this often happens in the African countries and I feel it's a very low way of thinking. I've heard of stories like this and I've also heard of ones that the girl gets pregnant but the man ends up not marrying her, claiming that she may not be his spec.
I feel if you love someone, you don't need to put them under so much conditions. This mentality needs to change amongst some men because it has made some women who in order not to lose their man go into such an agreement.
 I prefer that a woman gets pregnant after marriage rather than before.

[Solodoski]

In my observations in our society today,there is an increasing rate up to ninety percent of men that prefer their woman to be pregnant before marriage, reason been that they feel most women have messed up their wombs out of youthful exuberance and may not be able to concieve again and for this reason most bachelors wouldn't want to stay in a marriage without a child and at such they prefer having a confirmed pregnancy result before proceducing for any marital right, what are your stand on this?

To be sincere I really don't have any preference,  but according to the Bible it's better you get married before sleeping with your wife, not to even talk of pregnancy.  Bible aside I really don't blame people that need to confirm before getting married,  based on what is going on in the society right now. Like I said earlier it's all about choice,  so you you can decide what you want .

[Dunamisx]

I won't argue this much because there are cultures that permits for pregnancy before marriage, while we have a larger percentage on those that only advise after marriage, but ideally, we should have this done in marriage after doing the normal traditions as required by each custom, this goes along with the blessing to abounds in the marriage and make it more fruitful for them both to enjoy ad they planned to live together forever.

[Lolipo]

I think both are good depending on what the couple wants. Some men are not sure of themselves likewise some women. I have had a course of a lady telling me if she don't know if the problem is from her boy friend , though she is a single lady, she said ever since he met the guy that both of them have been having an affairs but nothing is showing up, so she even begged me if I can have an affair with her so she can be sure of her self. To cut the story short I think pregnancy before marriage should be best for couple that are ready for marriage oh. Marriage is is not dating, a broken relationship is far better than a broken marriage.

[Dunamisx]

Am surprised to know that some culture don't even count pregnancy before marriage as taboo, as a fact, its inclusive in their traditions that a woman must have a pregnant in other to know if she is going to be fruitful or not in the marriage, but in some other customs and tradition, this has called a lot of irresponsible pregnancies and the desertion of the women together with the child, this is getting too much and rampart around the world.

[GiftedMAN]

In my observations in our society today,there is an increasing rate up to ninety percent of men that prefer their woman to be pregnant before marriage, reason been that they feel most women have messed up their wombs out of youthful exuberance and may not be able to concieve again and for this reason most bachelors wouldn't want to stay in a marriage without a child and at such they prefer having a confirmed pregnancy result before proceducing for any marital right, what are your stand on this?

To be sincere I really don't have any preference,  but according to the Bible it's better you get married before sleeping with your wife, not to even talk of pregnancy.  Bible aside I really don't blame people that need to confirm before getting married,  based on what is going on in the society right now. Like I said earlier it's all about choice,  so you you can decide what you want .

That's it for the Christians as it is written in the holy book of Hebrews 13:4 and I quote " marriage is honorable in all and the bed undefiled". The Bible talks about getting married before making out with your partner so it is against the belief of the Christians to get a woman pregnant before marriage. People who go about doing what they choose is best for them do that to prevent not having children after marriage because they do not trust their partners because of the life they lived in the past and that's bad.

[AVE5]

The ideology of getting pregnant before proposing the person you want to marry for marriage, I don't think is a good one because of the unforeseen circumstances that you don't know what will happen thereafter after marriage has been ordained.

Has the person thought of miscarriage, having a deformed baby, or not living to see the baby after birth? Because it's God who gives a baby. We shouldn't tell him the conditions that apply before getting married. What if the person you end up with gets pregnant for you and delivers a baby? What if God refuses to give you another baby? Would you question God for that?

What I am trying to say is marry someone who loves and understands you, rather than putting conditions on it before marrying.

Both male and female youths of nowadays gets involved with sexual abuses before marriage which maybe be considered immoral.
So both the man and woman could be victim of infertility at the cause of their youthful practices. So since this fertility threat isn't limited to women alone but also to the men, what if all the while the man has been unable to prove his fertility after the trial to impregnate his partner before official marriage, or maybe both partners has undergone series of medical checkup but he's the one detected faulty, what'd be his stance? I hope he's going to think twice of the mentality and leave the rest to God over their inability to bear children?
I think this is also what need to be considered because it's God that does all possible and not what a man can do.

[Accardo]

I won't argue this much because there are cultures that permits for pregnancy before marriage, while we have a larger percentage on those that only advise after marriage, but ideally, we should have this done in marriage after doing the normal traditions as required by each custom, this goes along with the blessing to abounds in the marriage and make it more fruitful for them both to enjoy ad they planned to live together forever.

I see no difference, provided the man would take his bride to the alter after getting her pregnant then no problem. A good percent of married people got their spouse pregnant before Marriage. I've known of couples that wedded after a year of living together. Intercourse is a thing of consent, aside that it's an abuse. So, if both sides consent on having a baby before going for parental blessings, then that's what should make the union work. One person's disagreement to that can ruin the relationship.