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Should I continue to trade or leave this field
Getting married isn't a problem IF you have enough money to use to cover all of your expenses. Well if your wife helps you with the expenses then that's fine, but you shared it here because it seems that she doesn't. This is just my assumptions though, and I don't know you personally.
Taking a $3,000 loan just for trading? One of the worst things that you can do in the crypto space is taking a loan, and use it for trading. If you will use it for long-term investing then that's fine, but for trading.

Now with regards to your trading journey, having a $30,000 loss because of trading isn't new. I mean there are traders out there that already lost more than what you lost in 5 years. I know it's disappointing, frustrating, and you feel regret because of what you've done, but if trading affects you financially in a negative way then I guess it's time for you to just stop and take the L.
Losing that amount of money and taking it as just some kind of "fee"? You're just creating an illusion, and it will never be like that... or maybe if it's just a hundred dollars and you've learned from it then you applied it on your futures trades and you became better then you can say that it's a fee, but to lose that amount and consider it as a fee? That's ridiculous if you will ask me. Now how you can recover it? If you see that you don't become better, better quit and forget about it. I know it sounds hard but sometimes, that's the only solution that we have to prevent further losses. Now if you want to continue trading despite of what happened to you then go find another source of income where you will get your trading funds there. Also, pay your loan.