Bride Price dey Necessary?

[Roseline492]

For a lot of things to be corrected and the ownership some men feels about the women they marry with there money after paying all the right, it actually needs to be suspended so that all the men will marry freely and nothing attached because a lot of men says that as they have spend those money they have bought everything concerning the woman and she must obeys whenever or however the husband want, so if there is no money I believe those things will not be said again but then the parents are the ones who wouldn't agree to it because they see pride prize as a settlement giving to them for giving birth and training the lady so is actually the right they wouldn't want to stop.

[Sexylizzy2813]

For a lot of things to be corrected and the ownership some men feels about the women they marry with there money after paying all the right, it actually needs to be suspended so that all the men will marry freely and nothing attached because a lot of men says that as they have spend those money they have bought everything concerning the woman and she must obeys whenever or however the husband want, so if there is no money I believe those things will not be said again but then the parents are the ones who wouldn't agree to it because they see pride prize as a settlement giving to them for giving birth and training the lady so is actually the right they wouldn't want to stop.

Yes oh my brother, even when bad treatment follow for the marriage especially when the man don dey eye another girl A.K.A side chick, the man go use the bride price money wey him spend during the marriage abi wedding take hold her down say him pay everything for that she go nowhere and we know say the family of the girl them no go fit pay back to carry their daughter because him too no go take and this thing dey happen when the girl family no hold like that, so the man go believe say him get right to do to him wife any how, she fit ask for divorce but the man go choose to punish her by saying no as na him be the man of the year wey pay in full.
For me oh, no man can pay for my daughter's head oh, no amount is enough for her head. See some parents sees this marriage thing as a business if we don't know, punish the man with unnecessary pressure wey dey in disguise come call am marital right A.K.A BRIDE PRICE, make some of our parents dey careful because na this same idea dey make girls dey marry the wrong man all because of money.

Support PIGIN For Our Local Board...

[Justbillywitt]

As Africans I think there's no way we can totally abolish bride price payment. It has been part of the system and it will continue to be there. What we should be advocating is regulation of these pride price lists at local government level. Parents should understand that they are not selling their children in the name of marriage, rather they are gaining another family. The regulation I mean here is to regularise these list. Let's say nobody should spend more than #100k in terms of pride prices payments. This will go along way in resolving some of the challenges we have been seeing as a result of bride price payments.

[Tmoonz]

As Africans I think there's no way we can totally abolish bride price payment. It has been part of the system and it will continue to be there. What we should be advocating is regulation of these pride price lists at local government level. Parents should understand that they are not selling their children in the name of marriage, rather they are gaining another family. The regulation I mean here is to regularise these list. Let's say nobody should spend more than #100k in terms of pride prices payments. This will go along way in resolving some of the challenges we have been seeing as a result of bride price payments.

Pride price payment varies from different places from my observation while there are places that can take higher amount other places can take lesser amount, another issue is that most parents goes as far as making their own personal demands that is not included in the generally agreed and accepted list in their locality, of course parents should be acting like they are selling their daughter, the question how do they feel on seeing their daughters that is of age of marriage that is yet to be married?  marriage settlements should be as simple as possible that way young and vibrant youths out there can be get married within their possible means.

[Bigjoe33]

For me oh, paying of a woman pride price na the best and the right thing to do because na so our Bible talk am and na so e surpose be if you be person way dey responsible as a man, if no be say some families come they carry am as a medium of opening account for their self, as in them go carry all their real life problem carry put for the Man head all because e decide to come marry their daughter and e dey very bad.

It's our culture, it's our way of life, and we can't abolish it, it stays, it goes no where.

Even that gal wey dey talk for online there, dem pay for her mama head too Na. Her mama family son chop her own, make oda People chop there own, it's culture, but make dem try just look into the tin see how dem go make am easy, as in reduce am make people fit afford an easily..

The main point here be say, weda bride price or no Bride price, yeye man Na yeye man, yes Ooo. Man wey no dey responsible no go still dey responsible weda in pay or in marry free. Okay, what of those men dem wey just pregnant woman, carry am go house with waterproof, wey still dey maltreat there wives? Even wen them don born for them, they still dey show dem pepper without normal marriage for the woman head, wetin cause that one, Na still the bride price or Na wetin??

Truth be say, some men just yeye, dem no responsible at all, and dem no no how to take care of woman. So weda bride price or not, men go still dey beat there wives and maltreat dem, which no good at all.

But E go good say families come together, even if Na from the head, make dem look into the things wey full list before marriage, make dem see how to cut am down small make E for deyveasy small.
But make we know say, say u come Marty your wife complete, do everything go help show say u too Na man, E get in won respect ooo

[Silikiem]

For a lot of things to be corrected and the ownership some men feels about the women they marry with there money after paying all the right, it actually needs to be suspended so that all the men will marry freely and nothing attached because a lot of men says that as they have spend those money they have bought everything concerning the woman and she must obeys whenever or however the husband want, so if there is no money I believe those things will not be said again but then the parents are the ones who wouldn't agree to it because they see pride prize as a settlement giving to them for giving birth and training the lady so is actually the right they wouldn't want to stop.

Bride price isn’t just about the money a man paid to the parents of the girl he wants to get married to, it’s not just about the physical cash we are seeing, there’s more to this bride price payments which have been in existence even before we were born and since the days of our forefathers. There are some cultures in Nigeria if bride price is not paid then there’s no symbol of marriage in that union. Even though some men usually abuse it by claiming total ownership of the woman they married after paying their bride price, there are also some women out there who usually use non payment of bride price against their husbands or spouse. Any small argument you will see the woman shouting and abusing the man saying Did you pay anything for my head?. As a woman you won’t even be happy living with a man who hasn’t paid anything on your head, most women used that as excuse to meet other men outside their marriage. But In some cultures when a man has fully completed all the marriage rights and bride price payments, if the woman sleep with another man outside her marriage, it usually don’t go well with either the woman or man. The consequences will come and that’s why sometimes bride price payments is good, because if they don’t make this payment so many women will have extra marital affairs compared to the ones we are witnessing now even after paying the bride price.

[Paparazzi22]

For a lot of things to be corrected and the ownership some men feels about the women they marry with there money after paying all the right, it actually needs to be suspended so that all the men will marry freely and nothing attached because a lot of men says that as they have spend those money they have bought everything concerning the woman and she must obeys whenever or however the husband want, so if there is no money I believe those things will not be said again but then the parents are the ones who wouldn't agree to it because they see pride prize as a settlement giving to them for giving birth and training the lady so is actually the right they wouldn't want to stop.

First of all I would want us to understand that this thing called pride price is a tradition or practice and it has existed for a very long time ago from generation to generations, it didn't just start in our own time..so I believe is a.  natural law and practice that says if you want this then you must do this to get it unlike the way we say I need money 💰 you must either sell something (do business)or work to get paid for you to get the money 💰 you want.

[Berry2d]

As Africans I think there's no way we can totally abolish bride price payment. It has been part of the system and it will continue to be there. What we should be advocating is regulation of these pride price lists at local government level. Parents should understand that they are not selling their children in the name of marriage, rather they are gaining another family. The regulation I mean here is to regularise these list. Let's say nobody should spend more than #100k in terms of pride prices payments. This will go along way in resolving some of the challenges we have been seeing as a result of bride price payments.

Don't even think of abolishing bride price, because that is the only sign of respect your  wife could have among there pairs, all countries have there ways of giving respect to there partner we Africans have an already established culture governing our affairs but we prefer that of the western world thinking there's is the best. Come to think of it, if that bride price in abolished will you be happy to get married to our wife without paying which we know is not fair.

[LOVER BOY 422]

For me oh, paying of a woman pride price na the best and the right thing to do because na so our Bible talk am and na so e surpose be if you be person way dey responsible as a man, if no be say some families come they carry am as a medium of opening account for their self, as in them go carry all their real life problem carry put for the Man head all because e decide to come marry their daughter and e dey very bad.

Things like this fit dey make men dey maltreat their women after marriage because after the man start to dey remember the way the woman family take rake am em mind go dey spoil for were the woman dey but I no justify am at all and that one self no surpose be the reason a man go dey do em own wife anyhow.

But on how e be,  Nigerian currently no too level financially so if person after much struggle come decide say e wan settle down with a woman, make the woman people try fear God small no say money hard for this time and do watin them surpose do to know say their daughter no be sell dem dey sell because if na me self I go feel bad.

Na true talk you talk like this ,many family from East dey always carry pride price up like say na sell they want to sell their daughters ee dey very bad ,a message to eastern part make them fear God dey reduce price,sometimes dey dey tell people way come marry their daughter to go come back with money before they go carry their daughter like that no good at all e come look like say na to sell then want sell their daughters.

[Nwadiche]

The thing wey dey dere be say Dem no fit ban the payment of bride price because of the way men dey treat most women, biblelicaly marriage started a long time ago and bride price has been existing for thousands of years ago, now e reach ona turn ona wan ban am. No be de way out. Wetting Dem fit just do na make those state wey dey increase bride price reduce am to the Lowest make e for fitake Men to marry. Because apart from say men way pay high for their woman head dey treat Dem as rag unto say Dem buy Dem as commodity, another problem be say high bride price dey chase men away. The level marriage don reduce. Some women don lose the man Dem love simply because them no fit pay for their head. And some women don damage their womb because of several abortions attempt for the sake of say Dem no wan to get unwanted pregnancy before marriage. While some don born out of wedlock just because of this bride price. The thing be say Dem no fit stop am totally but them fit adjust am to suit everybody to maintain peace and foren to treat their wife's as human and not property.

[Yeesha]

I see this post for Facebook and after I read am I con dey some how convinced about this pride price thing, some men dey use am as a means to treat the woman as dustbin like women no get value to some men at all after them don pay that big amount for her head. Even if man nai dey pay for woman head e no mean say him as the man go begin see the woman as material wey him buy instead of to see her as a soulmate, treat her well.
For me I even see this pride price as another style of legal human trafficking, yes na we dey sell our daughters to another man to build him family, some go build the family in a better way no insult or abuse while some go add am abuse. If some men marry woman enter house the woman value don reduce like naira. Make I stop here, how una see this matter?

Support PIGIN For Our Local Board...

Any man who raises his hand against a woman, especially his wife, is acting irresponsibly and against the values of humanity, morality and religion. A truly responsible man would never raise his hands against women talkless of his wife, but he will protects, respects and cares for the woman in his life, not hurt her. Violence is not a sign of strength, it is a sign of weakness and lack of self control. His only a beast and a monster that will expect his wife to be submissive.

Paying bride price does not make a woman a slave or a property to be owned. Bride price is a symbol of Honor commitment and responsibility not a license so abuse. Bride price is the backbone of marriage and it legal backup. It show respect respect to the woman and a family, and it's represents the man's readiness to take her as his responsibility and to take care of her with kindness, dignity and love. Using bride price as an excuse to dominate or oppress a woman completely goes against its true purpose. Religion also strongly condemns oppression, injustice and inequality. It teaches kindness, understanding, mercy and mutual respect between husband and wife.

Marriage is meant to be a partnership based on love, understanding and cooperation, not ownership, fear  or control. A man that mistreated his wife is not only failing her, but he is also failing his moral and religious duties. A real man proves his strength through patience, respect, wisdom, and not through physical force or anger.

[Sexylizzy2813]

Na true talk you talk like this ,many family from East dey always carry pride price up like say na sell they want to sell their daughters ee dey very bad ,a message to eastern part make them fear God dey reduce price,sometimes dey dey tell people way come marry their daughter to go come back with money before they go carry their daughter like that no good at all e come look like say na to sell then want sell their daughters.

My brother na sell them dey sell am but my question be say why the money for bride price dey go up like say na government dey increase am, why? E get as e go be people go begin price the bride price becos e too much na. Our mentality dey really affect us becos I no see any reason why giving your daughter out for marriage go turn to business and these parents dey forget say if the man use bad mind marry the daughter, that marriage no go sweet at all, fight quarrel and everything wey go scatter family go full for the marriage.

Support PIGIN For Our Local Board...

[Justbillywitt]

As Africans I think there's no way we can totally abolish bride price payment. It has been part of the system and it will continue to be there. What we should be advocating is regulation of these pride price lists at local government level. Parents should understand that they are not selling their children in the name of marriage, rather they are gaining another family. The regulation I mean here is to regularise these list. Let's say nobody should spend more than #100k in terms of pride prices payments. This will go along way in resolving some of the challenges we have been seeing as a result of bride price payments.

Don't even think of abolishing bride price, because that is the only sign of respect your  wife could have among there pairs, all countries have there ways of giving respect to there partner we Africans have an already established culture governing our affairs but we prefer that of the western world thinking there's is the best. Come to think of it, if that bride price in abolished will you be happy to get married to our wife without paying which we know is not fair.

Bro I didn't speak about abolishing bride price, I think you are misquoting wrongly. I know as Africans we have traditions and these traditions made room for certain things to be done when getting married. But people of these days out of greed or will I say poverty has made dem see bride price as means of empowerment, thereby choking young people that of marriage age avoid anything concerning marriage. The high extortions in the name of bride price is what I'm kicking against and not abolishment in entirety.

[Juicyhome]

Bro I didn't speak about abolishing bride price, I think you are misquoting wrongly. I know as Africans we have traditions and these traditions made room for certain things to be done when getting married. But people of these days out of greed or will I say poverty has made dem see bride price as means of empowerment, thereby choking young people that of marriage age avoid anything concerning marriage. The high extortions in the name of bride price is what I'm kicking against and not abolishment in entirety.

I agree is pure greed that has destroyed so many home today, man will treat him wife with disrespect because of the high bribe price he paid on her. He will transfer the aggression on the woman. The amount our people are adding to bribe price has delayed many youth from marriage, and our fore fathers didn't stress to marriage. Marriage was a mutual things then, now it's now commercial, fathers use to sell out their daughters.

If you're privileged to see some tribe marriage list, you will not Marry, so many unnecessary things on it. Making it difficult for the young men in the community to me. It's time for our traditional institution to visit marriage list but don't should not cancel it, because marriage is a traditional things and we must obey it. I recommend our chiefs to amend the list , because is people they created the list and it can be amended.

[Jostern]

I really love this thread, I have always been having this same discussions with my friends for a long time now and I have asked some people this question if bride price is really necessary, before I came across this thread, I’m actually someone who have been saying that bride price is totally unnecessary and it should be scrapped from the Nigerian culture, I have taken a look at other countries most especially the European countries and Western World, I have vividly looked at their culture there is nothing like a bride price, and we should always endeavor to learn things that makes absolute sense, I don’t see any reason for bride price or anything people pay to the brides parents just to get married to their daughter, it’s totally unnecessary and it should be scrapped so men can have some peace of mind, why must life be difficult and hard for men in Nigeria.

I have a friend that wanted to get married to his girlfriend which he loves so much, so he decided to meet the family of the girl to take the list of the bride price, and the girl is from Igbo, so when he got this list, damn my goodness what is on the list the amount is ridiculous for just getting married and only introduction, this amount was 12 million naira, and it was fucking crazy, and my friend really wanted to get married to the girl, so he pleaded for the price to be reduced, but unfortunately the parents of the girl refused, so he has to do everything possible to raise the money, he started taking loans, and sold his land and properties and car to raise money, and fortunately for him he got the money and married the girl, after suffering to get everything to marry the girlfriend.

But something happened, after getting married to the girl, the man decided that his in-laws wasn’t going to step foot into his house he wasn’t going to have anything to do with his in-laws, even when the wife asked to go visit his parents he refused, even when they call him he refused to have anything to do with them, because it was terrible how they treated him to get married to their daughter, it was like he was buying their daughter, so when you have bought something you automatically become the owner of the property, the in-laws forget they’re not selling there daughter, marriage is just another way of having an extended family, I was actually in support of what my friend did, because I’m not a fan of bride price, bride price have made so many men not to get married because they can’t afford to pay for bride price, it has also made so many women single they’re not married because of bride price men can’t afford to pay for their bride price, if bride price is scrapped so many men and women are going to get married immediately, bride price is a big problem and challenge for people in Nigeria who wants to get married and settle down.

I will say that bride price should be scrapped from Nigeria, there is absolutely nothing reasonable with collecting bride price before someone can get married, it’s a huge problem most especially for men, and also it’s stopping women to also get married, sometimes you pay bride price and your wife doesn’t respect you and the marriage might still crash and they might divorce, sometimes women are single mothers, so if you’re also getting married to a single mother are you also supposed to pay for bride price? When they have birth for someone freely, marriage is just an ordinary union, for Christ sake why are people paying just to get married to someone that isn’t even a Virgin, not like they’ve not been with another man for free, people should just get married freely without paying any dime, Nigeria is just a failed country that is why everything in Nigeria is a mess.

[Grease5000]

Paying of bride in Nigeria goes beyond paying of money to the bride family, it has deep cultural and traditional meaning. In some Nigeria community like the igbos or the Yorubas payment of bride price  represent respect  unity and legitimacy of the marriage.  It shows that you have respect for your in-laws to be and value the woman you want  to marry
In most Nigeria community paying of bride makes  the marriage official traditionally. It also helps to strengthen bonds between both family.  
While in western marriage a woman is well honoured in her husband house after they have wedded, in most Nigeria custom a woman is only honour in her husband house by her people or the husband people when her bride price is negotiable by both families and fully paid.