1 - NeuroticFish
The day the OG raffle was announced, the air crackled. A pigeon stared at me through the window with what I chose to interpret as encouragement. I just know I deserve the prize.
First: sacrifice. Last Tuesday I bought a scratch-off, won a free ticket, traded it for another ticket, and lost. That wasn’t bad luck. That was a tithe to the raffle gods. The universe owes me.
Second: dedication. I set an alarm for the exact minute entries opened. My phone responded by updating itself for three hours. Did I panic? Yes. Then I entered on a friend’s phone, my tablet, and—after a brief but intense negotiation—my neighbor’s microwave. Resourceful. Slightly concerning. Deserving.
Third: physical toll. My thumb has a callus shaped like a tiny disappointed potato from refreshing the page. I dreamed I was locked behind a paywall guarded by a lag spike. I woke up and checked the raffle thread. That’s commitment.
Also, I left a discount energy drink out as an offering. My cat knocked it over, and my carpet now looks like a modern art piece called *Mountain Dew: The Mistake*. I posted it as “proof of commitment.” No response from the mods, but I assume they were moved.
I’m not saying I’m lucky. I’m saying I’ve already suffered enough for the entire entrants list. Put my name on the winner’s list. My thumb and my carpet have earned it.
PS. Don't try to make full sense of it
