You're right — escrow itself doesn't directly destroy privacy. The real issue is different:
You expose yourself to the guarantor. You have to explain who you are, where the money comes from, where you're sending it. The guarantor starts seeing your transactions and connections. That's no longer an anonymous exchange.
The guarantor is a person. Their account can be hacked, their data can be handed to regulators, or they might not be who they claim to be. You're trusting $10k to an unknown "reputable member" you don't actually know.
We become dependent on a third party. If the guarantor delays a decision, loses access to their wallet, or takes sides — either the client or we get hurt. And there's no one to appeal to.
That's why we chose a different path: instead of trusting one person — full client control through splitting amounts.
As for "many services with good reputation and escrow" — we're not arguing. Use the ones you trust. We don't ask for blind faith.
You only expose yourself to the guarantor after you already lost everything, and by your own choice.
If anything goes bad, the user has the choice to expose his transaction and get a refund, or move on with the full loss while keeping his privacy intact. In your case, you don't have option at all. You just lose everything if the service exit scams.

And I rather trust any escrower here like icopress, LM, SFR, than a random third party no one heard about where I need to "start small" and increase the amount I want to risk. Like we haven't seen tens of exit scams that happen after the service collects enough money... at least with a escrower, the service has something to lose.
I'm sure people from outside the forum would think the same. They can see the hundreds of deals those users have completed, and the amounts they held in their hands. That's why we have a trust feedback system.

We don't plan for this forum to be our only source of traffic. Our audience is any internet user, not just regulars here.
And for someone who isn't registered on this forum, the phrase "we have a deposit with user icopress" means absolutely nothing. They don't know who that is. They haven't seen their deals. They don't understand why they should trust some random nickname.
What's more, to an outsider, this looks suspicious: an unknown "guarantor" with an unknown reputation on a forum. That doesn't inspire trust — it raises questions.
That's why we're building our reputation on real transactions and reviews, not on deposits with anonymous users. Because for 99% of our clients, a forum history means nothing at all.