Who deserves the title ‘parent’

[DubemIfedigbo001]

Often times we hear stories of people who were abandoned by their biological parent probably due to one or many unjustifiable reasons, they chose to stay out of the child's life, having abandoned them when the children needed them most from their infant years to their formation years, the absence of the parents in these important years leaves a deep scar in the lives and development of the children and most of them grow up with a deep sense of loneliness and abandonment, some end up hating the gender of the parent that abandoned them and developing cold feet towards them, especially when they see the parent that stayed struggle to fill in the dual role of which we know it is hardly possible for one parent to play the role of the two perfectly.

Then coincidentally, there are situations where another person steps in to play the missing role that was abandoned by the should be parent, and the person shows up consistently and bonds very well with the child, giving him the completeness they need to form well into a emotionally, physically and psychologically balanced adult. In that scenario, the person becomes the parent this child knows alongside the other parent that stayed with the child.

On a twist of fate, if the other biological parent shows up sometime in the future and tries to claim parenthood of the child he previously abandoned, thinking he can get that position back based on biological relationships.

In that scenario who deserves the title ‘parent’, the one who gave you life, or the one who stood by you through it?

Got inspired by this story of of girl abandoned be her biological father when she was 4 hours old , please read before replying

[BADecker]

This post leaves the more important question unanswered. With so much CPS corruption going on, who should have more authority than the parents? And who should dictate that authority?

[Charles-Tim]

The girl is 18 years, it is left for her to decide. I am very sure she is not going to accept him as his father, although nothing can change someone's biological father.

If the father later accepts his mistake because I did not read the story in full, the girl can forgive him, but his father will still be Obinna as she sees his mother brother (Obinna) as his father.

This is how some people have two fathers. When I was young, I will say she should not forgive him, but as I grow older and understand more about life, I see no reason she should not forgive him, but provided if the father know he made mistakes. But as he did not involved in her upbringing, he should accept his fate because who that girl will see as the main father is Obinna.

This is just one story, there are some that can be complicated than this. Each one would be treated differently.

[Sexylizzy2813]

If you talk about children that are being abandoned, honestly is hard to say this should be the person we have to blame, either the father or the mother. Some if not many of this decisions are made out of not knowing how to be a perfect father/mother or not having the funds to take care of the children or child as the case may be. This is the same thing that causes abortion while some mother give birth and suffer all alone and the story mother's tell the child might not be what really happened for the father not to be in the picture. And that is why some girls hate boys so much and choose not to do anything with men same as the boys too. There are too many stories why some decisions are taken by fathers and mothers.
Yes you are right, in some cases, other parents that are looking for a child can adopt and play that perfect role of being the mother and father of the abandoned child, the love, protection and attention they give to the child as if he or she is their own can even erase the idea of the child thinking that he or she doesn't have any body to call mum or dad, at least the people who is available in his or her life as a child is enough.
Again, concerning abandoning a child, girl or boy I'd say is out of fear, we shouldn't let fear be in control of how we want to live our lives because 1 thing we should remember and always have in mind is that while having sex there was nothing like fear just HAVING FUN and we never have that thought of "how will I cope if she gets pregnant (for the guys)? Can I be able to endure the pressure and get everything the baby needs if I get pregnant after sex (for the girls)?", is hard to think of all these things.... We should consider all these before making some decisions and end up making innocent child feel abandoned.

[Charcol]

When a child needs the most care, protection and emotional support, if his parents are not around, then in my opinion, the person who is by his side at that time and alleviates his fears and suffering is the one who actually plays the role of a guardian. Because while biological relationship is important, guardianship has to be proven through responsibility, presence, love, sacrifice and continuity. No one can claim the full status of being a guardian just because they gave birth.

[Y3shot]

Biological parents will remain the authentic parents of their own children even if they are not present in the lives of their children. If someone adopts a child and raises the child as their own, they can consider themselves parents because they play the role of parents. At the same time, if the biological parents show up, it doesn't mean they have lost their parental right to claim the child. This has to do with blood, which cannot be taken away, and it doesn’t mean that just because the biological parents are around, the person who has been there taking care of the child won't be considered for the role they played.

[Dunamisx]

Often times we hear stories of people who were abandoned by their biological parent probably due to one or many unjustifiable reasons, they chose to stay out of the child's life, having abandoned them when the children needed them most from their infant years to their formation years, the absence of the parents in these important years leaves a deep scar in the lives and development of the children and most of them grow up with a deep sense of loneliness and abandonment, some end up hating the gender of the parent that abandoned them and developing cold feet towards them, especially when they see the parent that stayed struggle to fill in the dual role of which we know it is hardly possible for one parent to play the role of the two perfectly.

They could be two reasons to why you will discover a parent abandoning their children, one is genuine to them but not an ideal option, while the other is out of stupidity and lack of sensible thinking ability.

Let me start from the first one, some parents have to abandon their children not because the dislike having them or want to run away from their responsibilities, instead they choose to do so in order for them to pursue after a greener pasture so as to Carter for the family, but I will still go against it because, some of these children they left behind so far a lot from those that we are saddled with the responsibility of taking care of them, because they can't still perform up to 100% of what the parent can do.

The second aspect are those kind of parents that abandoned their children willingly just to be able to run away from responsibilities, could be because of the Father negligence to take care of the child or the mother irresponsibility to afford the mother to child relationship, there could be many reasons why a woman can decided to live her own child and abandoned her anywhere, but this is not ideal and very bad to see parents do, be its father or the mother, some of these children have a brighter future that would have been the reason to elevate the parents from their challenges and they don't know.

[Mhizlove]

This post leaves the more important question unanswered. With so much CPS corruption going on, who should have more authority than the parents? And who should dictate that authority?

In addition I will say that, the challenge is finding the right balance between the external oversight and parental authority. Because you see parents usually knows their children well enough that anyone, but there are situations whereby independent institutions still plays a role an important role in the life of children or protecting their welfare. The major concern here is not about who has absolute power but how to create a system with a enough accountability to prevent abuse from all angles. So no single group should have unchecked power.