Why hasn't this been tried?
Because many people don't understand sidechains, and they think the system works differently, than it works in practice. For example: some people argue, that all full nodes will have to trace all sidechains. Or that all miners will have to mine all sidechains. Or some people worry, that all miners will try to steal all coins from all sidechains, and kill
The Goose that Laid the Golden Eggs, instead of taking just fees, and letting them grow.
Also, it decreases the power, that developers have over Bitcoin. If anyone can just make a new sidechain, and ask miners to activate it, then anyone can change the code, and it is all about convincing users to try new features. If everything has to go through Bitcoin Core, then they decide, in which direction Bitcoin should go. But if anyone can make new changes, then the project goes into an unknown direction, and you can make any sidechains you want, including harmful ones, like "you are rewarded for each reorged block on chain X, and your coins comes from successful double-spends".
Another reason is that it competes with Lightning Network. If you have a sidechain, then you can send any funds anywhere, without worrying about liquidity, channel capacity, and other limitations like that. But in LN, everything has to touch the main layer, for every single user. Which also means, that when Core developers shifted their focus from sidechains into LN, then they basically stopped working on decentralized sidechains at all. And if someone can control centralized ones, and degrade the whole idea into that, then these people have no reason to support their competition, to allow someone else to run these centralized sidechains, which they created, or to allow random people to activate any kind of changes, without any control over it.
While drivechains are indeed controversial
Are they more controversial, than centralized ones? Are fully trusted sidechains better, than trusting the miners? What is more likely: that the sidechain creator, who has the same power over it, as signet creators have, will steal something, or that random miners will do the same thing? Existing centralized sidechains are like "just send me the coins, I will send them back correctly, I promise".
Anyway, if Bitcoin won't support decentralized sidechains, then altcoins will do that instead. Or: we will have only centralized ones, and they will work, until some sidechain operator will decide, that it is worth just signing a different message, and claiming all coins, and it will be compatible with all consensus rules.
It is however not merge-mined with Bitcoin
Yet another reason, why decentralized sidechains are not there: because people are afraid, that Merged Mining is bad, and it doesn't work for some reason. If done correctly, then it can work. But instead, we have a NameCoin, which made some mistakes, and anyone can just point at it, and say: "See? It doesn't work". Many altcoins were destroyed, because of poorly implemented Merged Mining, and now, a lot of people think, that it is a bad idea, because the same mining power can be redirected at something else, with no additional cost, and can be used to do some harmful things.
Has adaptive block size already been discussed for that problem?
There are BIPs for that, but they were unsuccessful:
https://github.com/bitcoin/bips/blob/master/bip-0100.mediawiki