Helping isn't always right, so reconsider before you do it!

[KeenanEl19]

Since we’re all living in this world, we should naturally help one another because we need each other that’s what it means to live in harmony. But on the other hand, when we’re about to help someone, we need to assess what kind of person they are.
From my own experience, I once helped someone facing financial difficulties, but since I didn’t know their true character at the time, I just went ahead and helped them. As time went on, I began to feel that they were just taking advantage of me since I’m the kind of person who feels bad for others or has a soft heart, they probably thought I’d always be there to help them.

The lesson I learned is don’t help someone if they’re already taking advantage of your kindness. Sometimes, simply staying silent is a form of help the goal is to help them realize that others’ kindness isn’t meant to be exploited. And for yourself, try to be more assertive. Don't let helping others cause you hardship, or even affect your own finances. This is what I experienced, where I sometimes prioritized helping others even though it caused difficulties for myself.

Has anyone here ever experienced something like this?

[PostQuantumBTC]

I like to help members of my family if they need the help that I can offer and I like helping friends also.
The help need to be limited because it can become something else.
If you are doing help often, the person you are helping can turn it to a necessity.
Just be very careful, not all the time that you will help.
Some people will even see your help to be foolish.

[Crypto_Timothy]

Has anyone here ever experienced something like this?

Helping others is important but like it should come with healthy boundaries, just because your kind doesn't mean saying yes to every request, especially when it begins to affect your own well-being or your finances. There is a fine difference between supporting someone through a difficult period and enabling a pattern where they become dependent on your generosity because the latter just means you're spoiling them. See, being compassionate and being discerning can go hand in hand and well, sometimes the most responsible thing you can do for both yourself and the other person is to know when to say no, period. Yes, they will see you as bad person but it is always better than when they are just using you to enable thier habits, just cause you're a nice guy.

[The Cryptovator]

The lesson I learned is don’t help someone if they’re already taking advantage of your kindness. Sometimes, simply staying silent is a form of help the goal is to help them realize that others’ kindness isn’t meant to be exploited. And for yourself, try to be more assertive. Don't let helping others cause you hardship, or even affect your own finances. This is what I experienced, where I sometimes prioritized helping others even though it caused difficulties for myself.

Has anyone here ever experienced something like this?

Trust me, I believe most of the users here face this issue. I have learnt a costly lesson; I have helped one of my cousins financially, but he never bothered to return my money. Even I was in trouble for a couple of months and struggled to survive due to the financial crisis, but he never heard me. The amount is quite big, and he cheats me by not returning my money.

So usually I don't help much with people if it's financially involved. Those people, I believe, only help right now, but still I am careful. Also helping lazy people doesn't make sense as well. One of my friends is struggling to survive. I offered him a couple of jobs and businesses where I would help him financially, but he doesn't have strength. Still, he is lazy; hence, I am wondering why he couldn't do it. Likely my investment will be eaten by him, and again he will become lazy. Though it's a very small investment, he should have a strong mentality; otherwise, he will fail.

[Renampun]

Most of us here must have experienced the feeling of being betrayed by others.. even though we have good intentions to help them and provide assistance with such sincere intentions, but these people are ungrateful.. instead of returning the favor, they are shamelessly running away from their responsibilities, or worse, even becoming enemies with us to avoid paying their own debts. but from this lesson we learn more that we should be more selective about the people we want to help, because not everyone is responsible and can return the favor.. it is better to only help people who care about us.

[Marykeller]

If we should treat people the way they treat us, the world won't be a better place for you and I. I have learned that there are people who are ungrateful and unworthy to be helped as friends, but that shouldn't make us mean to give them a helping hand as their downfall since we rise by lifting others up, and it's the creator who rewards people accordingly,  the reward of everyone is in heaven.

My parents used to tell me, ''don't change your real self because of the attitude of people you find around you". Do good, and good will follow you. The little help rendered to someone today, is not in vain because God takes note of it, and he will send help to you when you need one(help).

[LGD2Business]

It's nice to help people, but providing financial assistance isn't very sensible. Don't offer financial help to anyone except a few people closest to you. Or if you do provide such help, keep in mind that you might not get anything in return. Unfortunately times have changed. Everyone's out to take advantage of each other. It's hard to find true friends and if you've made a financial arrangement with them, it's very likely your friendship will be ruined. I stay away from things like that now, I used to help too many people, but those times past.

[Shinpako09]

That's why, when helping others, we should know when to say yes and when to say no. If you decide to help, do it based on the situation. Give only what's needed and only what you can afford to offer. Always leave something for yourself. Don't overdo it because that's when people start taking advantage of you.

Also, try to help people who you believe will be grateful. Although they say we shouldn't expect anything in return when we help, it's still better to keep your distance from ungrateful people. Just save your time, energy, and money for yourself instead of constantly helping those who don't appreciate it.

I've seen many stories like this in our country. Someone sacrifices by working overseas just to give their family a better life. After years of working, they end up with little or no savings because they've spent almost everything supporting the people they left behind. But when they are the ones who need help, they receive little to no support, whether financial or emotional. You'll be lucky if even one person truly cares for you.

[abhiseshakana]

My wife also very helpfull and big portion of her income she use for helping another and the small portion, she use to have fun with family and friends. I agree that helping other i sgood habit and must be maintain until we die, but we have to ensure the portion or our will in helping other not make us become a party that must be helped in the future. For me as husband, i must ensuring family financial security first before other people except our parents. I will help other after basic daily needed, emergency saving, protection saving, investment fund and zakat money fullfilled.

I separated helping people budged on charity post because i always spent it routine on daily and monthly basis, i use money on that post for helping family, friend, disaster relief, charity for orphans, daily mosque donation, giving a loan and networking capital (treating business partners, giving clients gifts, helping business relationships and community activities/ CSR)

[Akbarkoe]

Know the character or nature of a person in any case including in talking about money because the relationship of trust in finance is very important, when he has done something that is not responsible in financial matters I always avoid lending him money, or only a little I can borrow with an amount that I can give without worrying about not paying, Afterwards if he does not pay the first loan I will not lend him again at any time because it is my form of assertiveness, I am a person with heavy compassion but I need to control it under the circumstances, by giving small loans as a test after assessing his character and loan history.

But if it is trusted I can even give a larger amount but I limit the amount of money I can lend as a form of financial sanity for myself, because if too much money is loaned while we are short it is the same as we are stupid in money management.

[jcojci]

Many people experienced helping someone but they just used our kindness and asking for help every time they have a problem. They can solve their problems but they asking for a help from others. We should be careful if this happening to us so we don't have to keep helps with many reasons that looks acceptable. We help just want to make sure they can solve their problem but they can rely on us every time they have a problem but should figure out by themselves.

[KeenanEl19]

The lesson I learned is don’t help someone if they’re already taking advantage of your kindness. Sometimes, simply staying silent is a form of help the goal is to help them realize that others’ kindness isn’t meant to be exploited. And for yourself, try to be more assertive. Don't let helping others cause you hardship, or even affect your own finances. This is what I experienced, where I sometimes prioritized helping others even though it caused difficulties for myself.

Has anyone here ever experienced something like this?

Trust me, I believe most of the users here face this issue. I have learnt a costly lesson; I have helped one of my cousins financially, but he never bothered to return my money. Even I was in trouble for a couple of months and struggled to survive due to the financial crisis, but he never heard me. The amount is quite big, and he cheats me by not returning my money.

So usually I don't help much with people if it's financially involved. Those people, I believe, only help right now, but still I am careful. Also helping lazy people doesn't make sense as well. One of my friends is struggling to survive. I offered him a couple of jobs and businesses where I would help him financially, but he doesn't have strength. Still, he is lazy; hence, I am wondering why he couldn't do it. Likely my investment will be eaten by him, and again he will become lazy. Though it's a very small investment, he should have a strong mentality; otherwise, he will fail.

What you did for your friend by offering him a job was better than helping him financially. As the saying goes, "give someone the opportunity to earn money, so they can work, not by giving them money directly, or by giving someone a fishing rod to catch fish." I learned a lesson myself, and sometimes I tell myself to give up because remembering past events makes me sick.

Furthermore, I gained additional knowledge from another person whose life I saw was so peaceful, with just enough needs and lifestyle. Yet, on the other hand, he always helped others financially. It turned out that his principle was to meet his needs first. After that, if he could help, he would extend his hand with the condition that the money he lent would not be returned. So if the money was returned, that was good, but if not, that was a risk. Even though he could have assessed the person he was helping, he didn't.

It seems we all have our own principles when it comes to managing our finances, but what is clear is that we shouldn't neglect ourselves by prioritizing others, because that is a mistake.

[Alonso_]

Well there is a reason why people doesn’t like to help, probably you must have helped someone and it didn’t work end well, would you be helping again when it didn’t end well after helping someone so what could you think or do about such a situation, I have previously helped people but sometimes it doesn’t help when people doesn’t appreciate your efforts in helping them in whatever ways that you feel like you want to help and assist them.

However I like helping my family and friends, most especially I like helping family members.

Perhaps someone needs help urgently and I can help them concerning what they need that money or whatever help they’re looking for I would gladly render them that help immediately.

It’s good to be good and helping people.

[viljy]

I'm sure that many people have had the same experience as you. I've met several such ungrateful people. These people ask you for a loan, but they don't even intend to repay it. In fact, they are scammers. You should completely cut off contact with such people. I've had one person owe me money for 15(!) years. And there's another one like that. There's a saying that goes, "No good deed goes unpunished."

[PakHolder]

Of course helping others is a good thing, but I think there is a difference between helping and making them dependent. If someone is trying to get financial help by repeatedly mentioning the same problem, then it is better to be a little careful. In my opinion before helping someone, you should understand their situation as much as possible.  A friend of mine used to borrow money only at night, I did not know what he was borrowing money for, later when I realized that he was borrowing money to gamble, I stopped helping him financially, because he did not repay the money properly. Help does not have to be done through money. Sometimes the right advice or being by his side in other ways can be more effective.

[Fortify]

Since we’re all living in this world, we should naturally help one another because we need each other that’s what it means to live in harmony. But on the other hand, when we’re about to help someone, we need to assess what kind of person they are.
From my own experience, I once helped someone facing financial difficulties, but since I didn’t know their true character at the time, I just went ahead and helped them. As time went on, I began to feel that they were just taking advantage of me since I’m the kind of person who feels bad for others or has a soft heart, they probably thought I’d always be there to help them.

The lesson I learned is don’t help someone if they’re already taking advantage of your kindness. Sometimes, simply staying silent is a form of help the goal is to help them realize that others’ kindness isn’t meant to be exploited. And for yourself, try to be more assertive. Don't let helping others cause you hardship, or even affect your own finances. This is what I experienced, where I sometimes prioritized helping others even though it caused difficulties for myself.

Has anyone here ever experienced something like this?

Most help you give should be one off or short term, it sounds like this person abused your kindness. There are unfortunately people out there who will happily leech off others if given the opportunity, it seems incredibly lazy but they can even go their whole life trying to act this way if someone will support it. It can be even tougher if you give them shelter and they build up some sort of right to stay in your property, as it can feel like the ultimate betrayal if they later decide not to leave when you ask. Be wary if someone says that they have no one else to help them, because it's possible that means they've burned through the goodwill of all their other friends and family too.

[Samlucky O]

Since we’re all living in this world, we should naturally help one another because we need each other that’s what it means to live in harmony. But on the other hand, when we’re about to help someone, we need to assess what kind of person they are.
From my own experience, I once helped someone facing financial difficulties, but since I didn’t know their true character at the time, I just went ahead and helped them. As time went on, I began to feel that they were just taking advantage of me since I’m the kind of person who feels bad for others or has a soft heart, they probably thought I’d always be there to help them.

You don't need to feel cheated about what they did to you, it's just unfortunate that you helped an ungreatful person/people.  Though you just deed the right thing out of pitty and ignorant and to the wrong people and it was not your fault, you just have to accept it like that, that's one of the lessons of life. Karma always have it way of repayment. Just do good and expect reward from God and not man, but though we still need to be careful when helping.
 

The lesson I learned is don’t help someone if they’re already taking advantage of your kindness. Sometimes, simply staying silent is a form of help the goal is to help them realize that others’ kindness isn’t meant to be exploited.

Has anyone here ever experienced something like this?

Yeah I have experienced this alot from people who sees me as bank where they can cashout anytime. They always feel that I have money, even when I told them I dont have. The only thing I do to them is give them a silent treatment because when they keep demanding and nothing is coming forth, they will look for solution elsewhere. Human always want who to rely on, and when they get one, they don't mind reducing themselves to nothing just go get something from you.

[Die_empty]

Has anyone here ever experienced something like this?

Expecting that someone you have helped will return the favour will always lead to disappointment. It is ideal to help people based on your capacity and forget about them. People easily forget the good you do for them, but your errors remain indelible in their hearts. I don't put myself under pressure because I want to help people.  I assist friends and family based on my financial ability and give them moral support if I don't have money to give.

I have housed and fed a family member for three years. But when I had some financial challenges, they preferred to leave my house instead of assisting me to renew the house rent. I had to move back to my father's house until I raised funds to pay rent. But I have never stopped assisting people in any way I can.

[Marvelockg]

The lesson I learned is don’t help someone if they’re already taking advantage of your kindness. Sometimes, simply staying silent is a form of help the goal is to help them realize that others’ kindness isn’t meant to be exploited.

Unfortunately, most of the people that presents themselves as those in need my just be exploiting people who wouldn't know it untill they've been exploited. There are people that are professional beggars. They make it look like they are going through a lot and convince you to helping them afterwards they take from you and go on to take from multiple sources using it as a means of survival.

Help because you want to do so and allow what you're doing come from your mind. Don't ever expect anything in return because chances are high you wouldn't get it. We help because we want to do it and even when in the process of helping those that are in actual need we end up helping the wrong ones, it doesn't still stop us from reaching out to the people that truly needs it. The bad ones has made helping those in need become deficult because it's becoming more deficult differentiating those in dare need from those that are just faking it.

[YellowSwap]

The lesson I learned is don’t help someone if they’re already taking advantage of your kindness. Sometimes, simply staying silent is a form of help the goal is to help them realize that others’ kindness isn’t meant to be exploited. And for yourself, try to be more assertive. Don't let helping others cause you hardship, or even affect your own finances. This is what I experienced, where I sometimes prioritized helping others even though it caused difficulties for myself.

Has anyone here ever experienced something like this?

Trust me, I believe most of the users here face this issue. I have learnt a costly lesson; I have helped one of my cousins financially, but he never bothered to return my money. Even I was in trouble for a couple of months and struggled to survive due to the financial crisis, but he never heard me. The amount is quite big, and he cheats me by not returning my money.

So usually I don't help much with people if it's financially involved. Those people, I believe, only help right now, but still I am careful. Also helping lazy people doesn't make sense as well. One of my friends is struggling to survive. I offered him a couple of jobs and businesses where I would help him financially, but he doesn't have strength. Still, he is lazy; hence, I am wondering why he couldn't do it. Likely my investment will be eaten by him, and again he will become lazy. Though it's a very small investment, he should have a strong mentality; otherwise, he will fail.

Coming from a legendary member I believe you, I happened to come from a family who have only caused me so much pain, love? Nah, they will take, take and take until you are dried up and they will still tell it to your favey that what have you ever done for me?

Or did I force you to help me? Funny enough I don't ask for help, they make me hate asking people for help in general because they have never given out any helping hand, this is why I always pay more to anyone who helps just a little without asking them.

I don't know what love is, that's what they cause to me, and now that I am doing fine on my own they wouldn't let me breath freely, they have no shame that they keep coming back for more, I turned cold not too long ago, I am not bleeding for anyone else but my own child and wife.