Telling kids to leave the room or space...

[Franklyn-wood]

There's what we call "gentle parenting" these days and I feel it will be a lot harder to ask your child to leave a space when you're trying to have a conversation because to you it's nothing to worry about if they are there or not.
I remember growing up, we were taught to understand what a single look from mum meant and if ever we went against it, we'd be in soup when we got home. These days, some children rarely value or understand "the look", some even laugh it off when they see it or will ask "what?, why you looking at me?".  The thing with gentle parenting is that some values get dropped on the way just because the parent doesn't want to appear as the bad guy if they enforce some rules.

That gentle parenting is actually the reason why a lot of parents have lost the boldness to correct there children even when they are going the wrong way. Any parents who really wants to have a well trained child or children, parents should use more advanced and strong methods like we where trained in our own days when just a look can explain everything in the minds of our parents, which personal helped me while I was growing up and then till now, I look at people's face to know there reactions.

[Queen uloma]

I believe bringing back the habit of telling children to leave the room when adults are discussing certain things isn’t entirely a bad idea. When I was a little younger, adult use to send me out most especially when they’re discussing important things like family issues or other things.

 It doesn’t mean they re hiding anything from me. But they understand that it’s not all information that children are to hear and there’s always a right time and age when they’re supposed to hear it.  In our society today children are now hearing things that is beyond their age and beyond their understanding, which can affect the way they see life or the way they even relate with adults.

[KingsDen]

When I was a child, I do not have to involve in any kind of conversation started by my elders, be it an adult talk or my age appropriate talk. You do not have to join a conversation unless an adult asks you a question or you were engaged by the elders.

Sometimes, elders will ask you a question during an argument, you have the answer but you'll choose not to say because you are unsure how both parties will react to your answer. As a child, you'll only talk with your age mates.

But things are changed now; children can easily meddle into adults conversation and even stage an argument with their elderly ones. I am glad I wasn't born in this Gen Z. Many things are wrong but are being seen as the new normal.

It wasn't always about Respect, sometimes kids were just kept in the dark or too scared to say anything. Knowing the answer to the argument and not saying a word out of fear and submitting weren't positive things, they simply meant you kids didn't have a voice. Things changed and children are taught to speak out now.
OK, some go too far and become rude, that's another issue.
But they're supposed to speak out. You need that to teach them to think for themselves.

You are correct in some ways, this is not a one way thing.

Concerning children being kept in the dark, the parents of the past generation believed that children have no experience and as well should not contribute to decision making. In that generation, age + experience = wisdom. That was the formula and children didn't have experience, so they were considered not wise to make decisions nor suggest.

But this generation, things turned around and fell apart for the old. Children now own the internet and now bring to the knowledge of elders things happening around the world. I will say the availability of information and technology changed everything.

I am not condemning this generation; as someone that witnessed both generations, I think I love the past generation more than this. The greatest advantage of this generation over the past one is; becoming rich is so easy now...

[Taricoins]

Right but regardless of any conversation, its advisable for the parents to let the children know their boundaries, expect you seek for their opinions. This will help the kids to know learn respect and know their space in everywhere they find themselves and most especially, they should be taught to involve themselves in a conversation that add value to their lives and help them to grow positively both mentally and academically.

Dont be a strict parent because your children wont want to confide in you when they are depressed. The idea of setting boundaries with your kids is not advisable. Teach them to know when conversations are meant for adults, but dont chase them away. If you haven't observed, most parents dont tell their kids to leave the room directly. They often use an indirect way to send them out. For example, sending them on an errand, telling them to go watch their favorite show, or to visit the nearest grocery store to get their favorite snack. It must not often be in an authoritative way.

My parents where strict with there do's and don't and that didn't stop me or my siblings from confiding in them, infact that help us grow with alot of attributes that is appreciated, I believe even from small we can have a clear communication with that, it doesn't have to be shouting or with malice, we can always explain to them the reasons for our actions so that they can actually get the value of it.

[MusaPk]

My parents where strict with there do's and don't and that didn't stop me or my siblings from confiding in them, infact that help us grow with alot of attributes that is appreciated, I believe even from small we can have a clear communication with that, it doesn't have to be shouting or with malice, we can always explain to them the reasons for our actions so that they can actually get the value of it.

In today's world you cannot be as strict with your children as few years back our parents were strict with us. They have told us the boundaries from an early age, we can't go against their orders but now in today's generation the relationship between parents and children have become extremely friendly and strictness factor is totally gone. Yes you can talk to them, discuss with them different things which you want them to understand but you cannot be their boss. If you want to tell them to leave a room during some adult talks than gently politely ask them to leave space. Now children are more inquisitive about things, they want to know everything that is why it is important to talk to them in a convincing way.

[letteredhub]

Telling the kids to leave the room because adults wanna have adult talk or engagement isn't bad but the manner at which you do that also matters. They might be kids but they deserve to be shown some respect in a way, and by this I mean as an adult you can subtly tell the kids to leave the room without making them feel like you creating boundaries between you and them. Some kids are very sensitive and when that happens recurrently they can get emotional about it and it can affect their psychology in how they wish to come close and relate with you the adult.

[passwordnow]

There are kids that have been so naughty and curious. Even if you tell them to leave the room, they'd be curious to hear what you are up to. And handling it depends on how gentle you are as a parent and I think that there's some good sense in telling them about specific topic or adults talk that needed to be in private and kids can't contain the essence and content of the talk which I think they'll eventually understand. Just give them the lesson about the importance of people asking for privacy and when they're being asked nicely.

[As-Soon-As]

Yes, in the past, there was such an attitude among children that when adults spoke, some children would either stand there or move away, but now such a situation has arisen that children have started mixing with adults again and again. This has broken the wall of respect. Children are no longer afraid because adults consider children very close to them. This is the only way for children not to be afraid, because when your children are afraid, when you adults speak, children will move away. But now this situation is not under our control.

It's clear how your childhood ( I mean everyone here) is definitely very different from that of the children of today no matter your country of origin or globality (correct me if I am wrong). Not in any way calling anything bad but as a child I guess you where usually asked to leave the room when adults are definitely going to be having adult talks of whatsoever intensity?
Nowadays, the level at which children middle into adults talk is something else.
what if we or you bring back telling kids to leave the room or space when adults are going to be having or are already having adult talks?

And the possibility of going back to the past is very low, what we have seen in the past in childhood is not seen in the present day children. In this era of online, people are almost out of touch with people, people love to live a lonely life, they spend their time only through mobile phones. In the past, this was not the case, people used to sit next to people and then these things were followed. But now everyone, young and old, sits together, which I never like.

[MrEazyLife]

Laugh out loud, I mean it’s funny. Didn’t expect to see such topic here, but I’m glad I did. Honestly the way we were brought up as kids ( kids of our own generation) is far different from what we are seeing today, The pattern at which our parents applied on a scale of 1-10 I’ll confidently rate it 8/10. However not all the patterns were justifiable. But we can’t deny that it create a big positive impact on us. Parents of today just overlook some things which should be taken serious as tho it’s nothing and at the end of the day the result is what we are seeing today. I love my kids doesn’t mean you tore-late nonsense from that child. Kids should be handle with care and as such with intention to ensuring he/she becomes a better person in the future and add value to the society not shame. A child should be train in the way, you know it’s good for their future and not the way they way they choose for themselves. Yes a child at some point when becoming an adult should be able to make decisions for themselves. But let it be guided by how you trained them and the foundation you laid for them

[MrEazyLife]

Laugh out loud, I mean it’s funny. Didn’t expect to see such topic here, but I’m glad I did. Honestly the way we were brought up as kids ( kids of our own generation) is far different from what we are seeing today, The pattern at which our parents applied on a scale of 1-10 I’ll confidently rate it 8/10. However not all the patterns were justifiable. But we can’t deny that it create a big positive impact on us. Parents of today just overlook some things which should be taken serious as tho it’s nothing and at the end of the day the result is what we are seeing today. I love my kids doesn’t mean you tore-late nonsense from that child. Kids should be handle with care and as such with intention to ensuring he/she becomes a better person in the future and add value to the society not shame. A child should be train in the way, you know it’s good for their future and not the way they way they choose for themselves. Yes a child at some point when becoming an adult should be able to make decisions for themselves. But let it be guided by how you trained them and the foundation you laid for them

To also say, many parents of this generation has failed their parental duties. None wants to know what it takes to be a parent before venturing into bearing children. At the end we have lots of children without good home training.
I know some will say because they can’t afford all their kids needs. But then we still have parents who are wealthy and still can’t raise their kids well. Money aside there are things money can’t buy when it comes to training a child to be of good character and add value to the society. It’s time parents of this generation wake up and take adequate responsibility.

We use to have a generation where kids don’t just raised by their parents alone, but with good intentions neighbors. But can’t say of that now, it’s either parents will be mad at a neighbor who shows concern about a child bad’s behavior. Or the neighbor just don’t care about. Everyone is just minding their business or avoiding have issues with the kid’s parents

[Rockson1]

I believe bringing back the habit of telling children to leave the room when adults are discussing certain things isn’t entirely a bad idea. When I was a little younger, adult use to send me out most especially when they’re discussing important things like family issues or other things.

 It doesn’t mean they re hiding anything from me. But they understand that it’s not all information that children are to hear and there’s always a right time and age when they’re supposed to hear it.  In our society today children are now hearing things that is beyond their age and beyond their understanding, which can affect the way they see life or the way they even relate with adults.

Where everything lies is, how do we go about it, those days, these things are normal and we the children get use to it at some point, but how can this be achieved these days.
When an important adult discussion wants to go on, leaving that space that moment when kids are around might be the best option because, you'll be surprised that even if you tell them to excuse you guys, it might not works, I don't think it is possible to bring back things like this, but there are different ways to handle such situations, the world has really changed, infact the children of these days wants to know everything at early age.

[Justbillywitt]

I believe bringing back the habit of telling children to leave the room when adults are discussing certain things isn’t entirely a bad idea. When I was a little younger, adult use to send me out most especially when they’re discussing important things like family issues or other things.

 It doesn’t mean they re hiding anything from me. But they understand that it’s not all information that children are to hear and there’s always a right time and age when they’re supposed to hear it.  In our society today children are now hearing things that is beyond their age and beyond their understanding, which can affect the way they see life or the way they even relate with adults.

Sometimes the children are being sent out because what is being discussed are confidential matters, and the adults having the conversation don’t trust the children enough to allow such information get to their disposal. To prevent them taking it outside and tell another person, the children has to be sent out. Children can hardly hold secrets, if they don’t tell an adult they will tell their peers who will eventually tell their parents or guardians.

[Abdulzuruku01]

I believe bringing back the habit of telling children to leave the room when adults are discussing certain things isn’t entirely a bad idea. When I was a little younger, adult use to send me out most especially when they’re discussing important things like family issues or other things.

 It doesn’t mean they re hiding anything from me. But they understand that it’s not all information that children are to hear and there’s always a right time and age when they’re supposed to hear it.  In our society today children are now hearing things that is beyond their age and beyond their understanding, which can affect the way they see life or the way they even relate with adults.

Asking children to leave whenever elders are discussing to me is a wonderful idea that we all need to support. Because It is obviously not a bad culture, but rather a way of showing that there are a lot of things teenagers don't need to hear at their age until they become adults. I respect African parents with this they don't joke with it. Exposing children to information beyond their capacity to think and reason is one of the things that destroy their upbringing and affects their lives. It's disturbing how you see children nowadays trying to join in on elderly people's discussions even when they have no idea what is being discussed. Allowing children to sit together with elders is one of the things that brings disrespect to elders.

[Iamgoat]

That gentle parenting is actually the reason why a lot of parents have lost the boldness to correct there children even when they are going the wrong way. Any parents who really wants to have a well trained child or children, parents should use more advanced and strong methods like we where trained in our own days when just a look can explain everything in the minds of our parents, which personal helped me while I was growing up and then till now, I look at people's face to know there reactions.

I also don’t subscribe to gentle parenting. What I would like is a situation where by you deal with the child based on the situation at hand. There are periods you become gentle with them or adopt the gentle parenting style and a time you become more fierce with them. Children while growing up need to have a touch of the gentleness and a sense of the hardness too so they know the world out there is not as beautiful as it might seem in the surface. So the children needs to be treated or taught how life truly works. We mostly learn the hard way.

[hafiztalha]

To me telling kids to leave the room or space is base on the topic or conversation and everyone really have to agree with this, yes you can't be having an adult conversation and you expect your kids to be there with you, hell no you will have to excuse them from the room, it some how help them in terms of morals and manner, while there are some topics that require them being there to learn also, and such discipline has helped most children in so many different areas, there are kids whom their parents doesn't care what they hear or do, and most at times when the kid misbehave outside, it's the parents that gets all the blame, so it's really necessary to let your kids know when their presence is needed and when it's not.

We have put a lot of wrong things in the minds of such children and they keep themselves at home considering them as such, due to which their thinking keeps changing.  We should train children in such a way that if they go out, they will understand everything and they will feel better and better to talk to everyone.  Because there are many people in the world who can meet with different questions and come in front of us.  Children who stay at home and learn the same way and take a lot of time to be okay with social media and their feelings, so they should direct their thinking towards the world so that they have those feelings but their thinking is like theirs.  This is done by the same people who think that if we ask an adult about his words, we will seem very intelligent, but in reality there is no one more stupid and dirty than them.

The problem is not simply that the children are staying at home or their spendig time on social media. Home is place where children mostly feel safe and because of safe environment, children develop their values, emotional stability and confidence at home. But real issue is whether they are being guided properly and whether they are given opportunities to interact with each other when they are ready.

We as people should not force our kids to behave or think in a particular way just because adults believe and think that it is better for them.  They should learn from their own experience and from the family,  school, friends, social media and world around them.

[348Judah]

This is a very common behavior among adults, and most often they refrain their children from interfering with any discussion they are having that is important to them, and there are other reasons they may keep children from getting too close to the discussion.

1. It could be that an important matter is being discussed, and they wouldn't want the children to distract them.
2. Sometimes children don't know what to say and what not to say to strangers, and they may, without realizing it, reveal our secret discussions to anyone.
3. It also depends on the matter being discussed; some secret affairs that need privacy must not be discussed in the presence of children.

[BALIK]

That gentle parenting is actually the reason why a lot of parents have lost the boldness to correct there children even when they are going the wrong way. Any parents who really wants to have a well trained child or children, parents should use more advanced and strong methods like we where trained in our own days when just a look can explain everything in the minds of our parents, which personal helped me while I was growing up and then till now, I look at people's face to know there reactions.

I also don’t subscribe to gentle parenting. What I would like is a situation where by you deal with the child based on the situation at hand. There are periods you become gentle with them or adopt the gentle parenting style and a time you become more fierce with them. Children while growing up need to have a touch of the gentleness and a sense of the hardness too so they know the world out there is not as beautiful as it might seem in the surface. So the children needs to be treated or taught how life truly works. We mostly learn the hard way.

Trust me, once you have kids, you will understand that giving parenting advice to other people is way easier than actually doing it. Raising kids these days arent as simple as it used to be.
Ask our parents if they ever heard about autism, ADHD, anxiety disorders or depression in children, and whether those thing were common back then? Parents today have to deal with a lot more problems.

Family and the way parents raise their kids can affect a child's mind and behavior a lot too. So it depends on the kid, their personality, what they feel and what stage they are in. Different kids need different ways of parenting. Being hard all the time ain't necessarily good, and being too soft isn't either.

[POPOLUV]

It's clear how your childhood ( I mean everyone here) is definitely very different from that of the children of today no matter your country of origin or globality (correct me if I am wrong). Not in any way calling anything bad but as a child I guess you where usually asked to leave the room when adults are definitely going to be having adult talks of whatsoever intensity?
Nowadays, the level at which children middle into adults talk is something else.

what if we or you bring back telling kids to leave the room or space when adults are going to be having or are already having adult talks?

Telling your kids to leave the room for two adults to discussing doesn't look you are strict on them but it is the best things to do by every parens, in order to bring out the best out of them and raise a good kids, so any intelligent kids that has taken similar instructions from the both parents always, believe me next time when two adults are discussing they will definitely leave the room without waiting for the parents to asked them to leave or any where outside the presence of the father and mother, such kids will never find himself in the middle of adults conversation and surely such kids will definitely grown with such mentality but most parents failed to understand that, sending your kids out of the room to go read their books or go to play for adults to discussed.

[HyperCodexV]

It's clear how your childhood ( I mean everyone here) is definitely very different from that of the children of today no matter your country of origin or globality (correct me if I am wrong). Not in any way calling anything bad but as a child I guess you where usually asked to leave the room when adults are definitely going to be having adult talks of whatsoever intensity?
Nowadays, the level at which children middle into adults talk is something else.

what if we or you bring back telling kids to leave the room or space when adults are going to be having or are already having adult talks?

When you hide realities of life from children, you are actually doing them a disservice as parents or guardians because you are facilitating the creation of a weak generation that will panic the moment they face life struggles as soon as they leave the house. In our younger days, most of our parents thought, in their own right, that they were protecting us from the family struggles and difficulties at home, but it what that did was allow us to enter into the reality of life and the real world completely blind sided, because then we start to face the stress of financial pressure. If a child does not have the privilege of seeing adults arguing decently, settling any for of disagreement, or managing household finances, then they will ot know how to go about handling such scenarios in their own lives.