Does Comparing lead to Low Self esteem and lack of self belief?

[Callido]

Parents who compare thier children to others do it sometimes to motivate the children to do better. They want their children to learn from other children so that they can get better. The thing is that the motive and intention is good but sometimes it becomes pressure on the child and then they start feeling inferior to others. This is a problem in our society today because parents compare grades of their children. with that of their children thinking it will push them to do better. This does not only apply in education performance but also in different areas life even relationships/marriages. This makes me wonder should comparison lead to low self esteem and lack of self belief?

Comparison is not the best approach to motivate a child, exposing that child to life changing stories and opportunities is the best way. You would not say that a child is happy when things are not working out for him/her or he feels too comfortable with his current situation and have not desire to thrive for more. The journey for growth is tiring and consuming, so why add to the pressure with comparison?

A parent who knows how difficult thriving is should never pressure their children for success, it's a mentality work over what is seen on the internet. When you win with your mentality, success should come naturally, that should the lesson that every parent teaches their children.

[liasbaa]

Parents who compare thier children to others do it sometimes to motivate the children to do better. They want their children to learn from other children so that they can get better. The thing is that the motive and intention is good but sometimes it becomes pressure on the child and then they start feeling inferior to others. This is a problem in our society today because parents compare grades of their children. with that of their children thinking it will push them to do better. This does not only apply in education performance but also in different areas life even relationships/marriages. This makes me wonder should comparison lead to low self esteem and lack of self belief?

Comparison has become a serious disease in today's society, but behind it, most people may have positive thoughts. When you compare your child with another talented child and scold him, it has a negative effect on your child. He will never be able to go beyond the amount of talent that your child has. Other children do well in exams because they are actually more talented than your child. No matter how hard your child tries, he will not be able to match him because not everyone is equal. Nature makes some people more talented and some people less talented. This difference exists all over the world, just like everyone's DNA structure is different.

[Yeesha]

There are many good ways to tell a child to do better in life, not by comparing them. Parents won't be happy if their children compare them to other parents, too.

What happened to encouraging and assisting the child in building confidence to become better? That would work better. Comparing a child to other children makes them feel less like themselves.

Comparison could lead to hatred, because that will make a child feel as if you are not recognising their efforts. I know some people are only doing that to make their children jealous and do better, some children may fall for it and use that as a motivation to improve their lives, while some may not and will use that opportunity to develop hatred towards others, so comparison is not always the way to child your children. There is power in speech most especially between parents and their children. You can talk to your child about anything, and it is your responsibility to make your child to understand your point of view. Being strict towards your children will not help them to grow. Children are raise with love, and affection, not with strict rules, or hard discipline because that could easily mislead a child.

[Frankolala]

To compare isn't the problem but the problem is when you make the child go astray because you're comparing them with someone whom you don't know how he got wealth or how he passes his examinations. Comparison has mounted a lot of pressure on the children that has led them to do evil things. Encourage them and support them and allow things to play out naturally, in their lives.

[Findingnemo]

We can't blame the parents because they also had to undergo the same process which is why it keeps repeating on their kids too. But comparing the grades is useless because the intelligence of a kid is almost the result of their parent's DNA so if a kid is not that good then the parents are responsible for that and it can't be changed at all.

We can motivate them to find their skill but pressuing them to do something in particular will create stress and often hinders the intelligence of kid at very young age.

[Stable090]

Parents who compare thier children to others do it sometimes to motivate the children to do better.

It might serve as motivation to some children, and whenever you are comparing your child with others, when you get some level and you notice that there is no changes, just stop. If you can continue, you just going to be putting so much pressure on the kid which might lead to low self esteem. Instead of comparing your kids with others, it’s just better you encourage them always, try and motivate them always, and don’t compare them with anyone. We are different, because other children are achieving something doesn’t mean your child should do that also. If you keep on putting pressure on your kid, he/she might just end up doing that he/she is not suppose to do.

[Oluwa-btc]

Parents who compare thier children to others do it sometimes to motivate the children to do better. They want their children to learn from other children so that they can get better. The thing is that the motive and intention is good but sometimes it becomes pressure on the child and then they start feeling inferior to others. This is a problem in our society today because parents compare grades of their children. with that of their children thinking it will push them to do better. This does not only apply in education performance but also in different areas life even relationships/marriages. This makes me wonder should comparison lead to low self esteem and lack of self belief?

I will never see that as motivation. My mother has always told me I was better, I can be a better person every second. Never for once has she compared me to a friend or somebody's else's child. She'll rather teach on things you lack rather than compare you with other kids. Comparing your kids with other kids is not good parenting in my opinion, this is the reason why two people coming together with intentions of raising a family shouldn't skip discussions about the pattern of parenting. So yeah, to an extent, one can agree that these comparison thing can breed inferiority complex and inability to look deep into yourself for guidance.

[Ishicryptic]

Parents do this comparisons out of concern for their children to do better in life, every parents wants the very best for their children and it drives most parents to put their children under pressure to be like other children that they think are doing perfectly well, no parents wants their children to fail in life. I think that parents can apply wisdom in directing their children to do better and while comparing them with other children, they can subtly sight other children's seriousness to their education and skills to their children as examples of what it takes to achieve greatness not imposing on them that they must achieve what the other children have accomplished. Every child is unique and parents must find out where their children have natural interests and if it is something that will add value to their lives the parents should encourage them. It is wrong to breed competition between your children and other children, they can become desperate to meet up and in the process derail from the perfect plans that you have for them.

[Y3shot]

Learning from other people is not bad because as long as life exists, people will definitely be role models to others. Parents need to be very careful when trying to compare their children with others. Constant comparison can make one feel like they are less than others. I think parents can encourage their children to do better without making them feel like someone else is better than them.

There are ways parents should go about it that shouldn't bring about feelings of inferiority because there is a way children think that is different from how adults think. An adult sees it as nothing by learning from other adults, but children often have smaller minds. The worst thing is to make a child feel less than themselves because it can destroy the confidence of the child.

[Taricoins]

Comparing isn't all that bad, am not talking about that of the parents comaprism of there wards to others kids but I mean comparing ourselves with others, sometimes it can build your zeal to do better, like it or not everyday we compare our selfs and seek ways to improve, not accepting yourself for who you are leads to that low self esteem.

[Agbamoni]

Comparing isn't all that bad, am not talking about that of the parents comaprism of there wards to others kids but I mean comparing ourselves with others, sometimes it can build your zeal to do better, like it or not everyday we compare our selfs and seek ways to improve, not accepting yourself for who you are leads to that low self esteem.

Comparing is bad. A lot of things can go wrong when you start comparing your child to another child. Hatred and jealousy will start building up in the heart of your child toward the child you are comparing them to. It won't stop there. Your child may become a bully since he can't be better than you.

You will think it's encouragement until you build a monster as a child. Children need encouragement and support, not comparison and backlash. Thank God I grew up in a family that prefers to talk things out, helping one another, not one that looks at the other side of people and starts comparing them to the family.

[Thewatchman]

Do not forget that we all are human beings, and the problem men and women face has so much to do with peer pressure, and unending desire for ambition. If we should go on and on to compare one another, nobody will stay focused with what they're at, because they'll think their own track is not worth the struggle. kids hardly forget the words of their parents, a father or mother that fails at encouraging the kid to do better is not doing the right thing, how they do this matters, some believe that with comparison a child will sit up, but I've seen action work better, some wayward kids got much better in life the moment their parents got them a wife, so nothing would have been solved if their son was only compared to see his age mates who are already married, as much better than himself.

The moment your subconscious try to compare you or challenge you it makes one feel some form of anxiety which in one way or the other leads to low self esteem so in other no yo have this effect we need to love ourselves above everyone and and also make our self a priority by making adjustments and changes that will enable us fit into what really make us feel good than yo be inferior to the effort they have improved in there lives

[Odusko]

Parents who compare thier children to others do it sometimes to motivate the children to do better. They want their children to learn from other children so that they can get better. The thing is that the motive and intention is good but sometimes it becomes pressure on the child and then they start feeling inferior to others. This is a problem in our society today because parents compare grades of their children. with that of their children thinking it will push them to do better. This does not only apply in education performance but also in different areas life even relationships/marriages. This makes me wonder should comparison lead to low self esteem and lack of self belief?

Comparison between young people is not healthy and idle thing to do as a parent, and for some reason your children turn out in life is a result of your own efforts as parent so some of the blames comes back to the parents who choose to compare their children with others,. But also we have the comparison on the general societal level, which is aimed towards developing the mindset and skills of the child, this one is motivation and not to compare them to others.

[HyperCodexV]

Parents who compare thier children to others do it sometimes to motivate the children to do better. They want their children to learn from other children so that they can get better. The thing is that the motive and intention is good but sometimes it becomes pressure on the child and then they start feeling inferior to others. This is a problem in our society today because parents compare grades of their children. with that of their children thinking it will push them to do better. This does not only apply in education performance but also in different areas life even relationships/marriages. This makes me wonder should comparison lead to low self esteem and lack of self belief?

We just need to bluntly call out why most parents do this, it is in some way, about their pride and ego, not necessarily about the child's future. Many parents want their kids to get some good marks or even get married to rich partners just so they can brag to their peers about it in social events. They treat their children like trophies to make up for what they lack in their social status and when the child does not meet such expectations, they get angry and vent it on the child.