Does Comparing lead to Low Self esteem and lack of self belief?

[Bigthraex]

Parents who compare thier children to others do it sometimes to motivate the children to do better. They want their children to learn from other children so that they can get better. The thing is that the motive and intention is good but sometimes it becomes pressure on the child and then they start feeling inferior to others. This is a problem in our society today because parents compare grades of their children. with that of their children thinking it will push them to do better. This does not only apply in education performance but also in different areas life even relationships/marriages. This makes me wonder should comparison lead to low self esteem and lack of self belief?

[Agbamoni]

There are many good ways to tell a child to do better in life, not by comparing them. Parents won't be happy if their children compare them to other parents, too.

What happened to encouraging and assisting the child in building confidence to become better? That would work better. Comparing a child to other children makes them feel less like themselves.

[Accardo]

Do not forget that we all are human beings, and the problem men and women face has so much to do with peer pressure, and unending desire for ambition. If we should go on and on to compare one another, nobody will stay focused with what they're at, because they'll think their own track is not worth the struggle. kids hardly forget the words of their parents, a father or mother that fails at encouraging the kid to do better is not doing the right thing, how they do this matters, some believe that with comparison a child will sit up, but I've seen action work better, some wayward kids got much better in life the moment their parents got them a wife, so nothing would have been solved if their son was only compared to see his age mates who are already married, as much better than himself.

[Dunamisx]

Parents who compare thier children to others do it sometimes to motivate the children to do better.

I will not go in support of this because you are not expected to compare our children to others, each side has his own ability and it is for us to be able to discover what they wanted and try to streamline our own pattern of home training towards their interest, sometimes the children feel intimidated when you compare them with other children that progresses ahead of them, the only know about today but no one knows what tomorrow could be, there is always a room for an improvement over any child that is not doing well today and his parents take the responsibility to help him achieve his path tomorrow.

[Justbillywitt]

Parents these days should learn to appreciate individual differences and appreciate their kids when they do good, and correct them when they are wrong without making comparisons to other kids. I don’t like comparisons, it makes people feel like they are not doing enough and you don’t even know if the people being compared together have same qualities that will make them behave same way. Comparisons leads to low self esteem in kids who haven’t discovered themselves.

[Mhizlove]

Parents who compare thier children to others do it sometimes to motivate the children to do better. They want their children to learn from other children so that they can get better. The thing is that the motive and intention is good but sometimes it becomes pressure on the child and then they start feeling inferior to others. This is a problem in our society today because parents compare grades of their children. with that of their children thinking it will push them to do better. This does not only apply in education performance but also in different areas life even relationships/marriages. This makes me wonder should comparison lead to low self esteem and lack of self belief?

Most times is good but at the same time is very bad, because comparing your children to others can make them learn more or make them loose their self esteem or belief. In the compound I stay there this woman who always compare others to her children, everytime she will be telling them, mostly the female ones that they don't see how order females are doing, that they're giving their parents money and the rest, and her children will be like do you know what those girls are doing? Most times it helps, but too much comparison is not good, it will make them go where they ought not to be and also do what they're not supposed to do at the end of the day.

[Solodoski]

I don't think comparing your kids is a good thing and I will not say it's entirely a bad thing. Firstly there are a lot of ways to motivate your child, instead of comparing them with other kids. Like you the OP mentioned sometime the intention for the comparison is a good one, but most times it's results to a bad outcome.  I don't really subscribe to comparing your kids with others even your spouse, but if you must do it, you have to put it in a way that will not make your child see it as comparison,  but rather sees it as a motivation to do better. Some parents are really not good in communication with their kids, which is why when they compare their kids to other kids, they tend to bring their morale down and make the kids feel bad, which may later after their self esteem or self confidence.

[o48o]

Parents who compare thier children to others do it sometimes to motivate the children to do better. They want their children to learn from other children so that they can get better. The thing is that the motive and intention is good but sometimes it becomes pressure on the child and then they start feeling inferior to others. This is a problem in our society today because parents compare grades of their children. with that of their children thinking it will push them to do better. This does not only apply in education performance but also in different areas life even relationships/marriages. This makes me wonder should comparison lead to low self esteem and lack of self belief?

It's really about so much more then that, because hopefully that's not all parenting or main idea of someone's parenting. Parents also could love their kids as they are and support / help them to learn to be best they can.

In worst cases, that sort of comparison can be lead to kids getting a message that they aren't good enough because of the reason x. And even when they eventually forget that happened, it will be a big part of the foundation for their identity. That could make them always looking for acceptance and feel shame of not not being enough, and they are never going to be enough. Because they don't remember how they build that core feeling of not being enough.

[noorman0]

Comparing includes reactions of disappointment which actually shouldn't be done often to children, I think it's like intimidation which can destroy mentality and character. Parents should give themselves a lot of freedom to identify their children's interests, and at that point failure after failure should be considered normal. All they need is enthusiastic support from the people around them, and parents are important contributors.

[AVE5]

Parents who compare thier children to others do it sometimes to motivate the children to do better. They want their children to learn from other children so that they can get better. The thing is that the motive and intention is good but sometimes it becomes pressure on the child and then they start feeling inferior to others. This is a problem in our society today because parents compare grades of their children. with that of their children thinking it will push them to do better. This does not only apply in education performance but also in different areas life even relationships/marriages. This makes me wonder should comparison lead to low self esteem and lack of self belief?

Who who? Teenages or Adults?
Anyhow, comparing kids in the disgraceful manners can be child abuse because the teens mental capacity of the child's will be too fragile to withstand the criticisms and still feels comfortable.
If you think it's a form of encouragement, then I'll tell you that such comparison approaches would also whisper negative intentions on the child.
Of course with all being said being applicable to also influence adults, there's be a term out of maturity to handle the critical moments else, comparing someone before a higher hierarchy simply means a total intention to humiliate the person.

[Marykeller]

.This makes me wonder should comparison lead to low self esteem and lack of self belief?

Yes it does, big time. Nothing demoralizes a young person more than when their parents cajole them, compare or belittle them for the slightest thing they learn off, they are doing.

It can actually make someone commit suicide when the people they look up to as parents don't in a day say nice things to them to encourage them, and make them feel good about their given situation that things will turn out good someday, not forever getting worse, like there is no hope for them to continue living and striving for good things to come.

[Tonimez]

Parents who compare thier children to others do it sometimes to motivate the children to do better. They want their children to learn from other children so that they can get better. The thing is that the motive and intention is good but sometimes it becomes pressure on the child and then they start feeling inferior to others. This is a problem in our society today because parents compare grades of their children. with that of their children thinking it will push them to do better. This does not only apply in education performance but also in different areas life even relationships/marriages. This makes me wonder should comparison lead to low self esteem and lack of self belief?

Comparison is usually more negatively impactful than it's positive side because we all react differently to the same push. It is not right to compare children to their mates or their siblings because there are many other ways of passing the message clearly to them. What of instead of saying "is it not your mate that scored 90, why did you score 10?" A parent can also say, "Do you know you can score 90 if you take your books more seriously?", You can do better", words of assurance. Making him believe in himself instead of getting him into thinking that his classmates or siblings are better than him.

Comparing kids kills dreams and raises an inferiority complexed kid that may get depressed and/or even take his life thinking that he is not good enough. Kids can even misinterprete comparison as hatred and it will reduce their love for you as a parent.

[OgNasty]

There are many sayings to address this...  Comparison is the thief of joy.  Happiness = reality - expectations...

The best thing to do is just focus on yourself and the people you love, while trying to engage in activities that bring you joy.  The person who has the perfect life on social media could be miserable, and if you saw how they really lived you might not even want to trade places with them. 

The only person you should be comparing yourself to is you from yesterday to make sure you are improving as an individual.

[Unknown Op]

Yes, it is true that constant comparison can cause low selfesteem. If child is constantly being compared with others and being told that he is not good enough compared to the others that can causes low confidence.
Even when parents have good intention of comparing grades of a kid to the others there abilities to compete this constant comparison can make them feel that they are not good enough. I think that comparison alone is not harmful, as sometime it gives motivation to other to do better. Main problem emerges when parents start comparing their kids to someone else and make that standard for them which can create jealousy and envy.
Parents should work on the growth of their kids, work on their betterment, provide them with better opportunities and confidence and should use the motivational lines like “ that you have done better as compared to the previous time” that can lift their morale up and similarly other lines like this. And give them self belief that they can improve.