Bitcoin’s consensus rules are intentionally difficult to change but when it comes to mempool policy, it’s a different layer, individual nodes are free to choose what transactions to accept and relay, but when you think about it most nodes don’t operate with completely unique policies, they still tend to follow Bitcoin core’s defaults. wallets, applications and developers often build around those expectations too.
I don't think consensus rules are difficult to change, the difficulty is in the agreement of nodes and miners to accept the changes and how it is going to affect the network. If it's a safe change that is going to improve the network, there wouldn't be a difficulty unless otherwise. Most often, people don't have problems with consensus rules, it's always the nodes rules, and with what I have seen, the disagreement has always been a difference in individual views and maybe some psycho developers that don't know when to quit. I believe you saw the recent fork this month, some of them have gone back to core, while some are still delutional with their failure
So this got me thinking, at what point does widespread policy convergence start having network wide effects? Suppose a transaction is consensus valid but it’s doesn’t satisfy the policy used by majority of nodes, technically the transaction is valid and nothing should stop a miner from including it in a block, however propagating that transaction to the miner in the first place could prove to be difficult if most of the network refuse to relay it.
The majority of nodes can reject a transaction that does not meet their policy rules, but the network does not completely stop anyone who wants to make transactions that are not the majority node standards. There are some miners that accept transactions that are not even core standard, they will accept it as long as you can pay the fee for them to include the transaction in the next block. But come to think of it, when you see a particular nodes are been dominated in numbers, don't you think it's for the security of everyone in the network. There is absolutely no way a particular node policy will outnumber other nodes if they do not agree to those rules, and it doesn't make sense to change it just because another person disagrees with it, but even at that, you have the option to submit it directly to a miner without relay to other nodes that may reject your transaction.