Decentralized Families

[Whiteronin]

I believe that a man and woman can live in a happy marriage even if they live in different (distant) countries. I'll explain how this can work. They should communicate online, via messengers; this format of communication must be comfortable enough. Every two years, the wife flies to her husband's country, or he flies to hers, for unprotected sex during the woman's ovulation period, so that she has the highest chance of becoming pregnant. Once pregnant, the wife returns to her home country to give birth and raise their child. If she doesn't get pregnant, artificial insemination could be used.
The question is whether it will be possible to ensure that their communication via instant messaging apps is comfortable enough. If a husband needs regular sex, they could theoretically try some kind of virtual sex, like video chat, but I'll tell you right now that I'm not suggesting this to anyone, as it's dangerous and can be even forbidden in some countries. I don't think this is really necessary; protected sex without the goal of conception isn't particularly interesting in itself anyway (I've understood this myself firsthand). And which ways can make remote communication sufficiently comfortable, I'll write later. For now, I'd like to read the thoughts of others.

[_act_]

This is easy to say but I do not think most men will like it because men like sex and which is normal. Regular sex can help reduce oxidative stress and it can help men reduce the chance of having prostrate cancer.

Distance relationship will only cause the husband and wife to be cheating on themselves. The best is the wife and husband to see themselves often.

[o48o]

I believe that a man and woman can live in a happy marriage even if they live in different (distant) countries. I'll explain how this can work. They should communicate online, via messengers; this format of communication must be comfortable enough. Every two years, the wife flies to her husband's country, or he flies to hers, for unprotected sex during the woman's ovulation period, so that she has the highest chance of becoming pregnant. Once pregnant, the wife returns to her home country to give birth and raise their child. If she doesn't get pregnant, artificial insemination could be used.
The question is whether it will be possible to ensure that their communication via instant messaging apps is comfortable enough. If a husband needs regular sex, they could theoretically try some kind of virtual sex, like video chat, but I'll tell you right now that I'm not suggesting this to anyone, as it's dangerous and can be even forbidden in some countries. I don't think this is really necessary; protected sex without the goal of conception isn't particularly interesting in itself anyway (I've understood this myself firsthand). And which ways can make remote communication sufficiently comfortable, I'll write later. For now, I'd like to read the thoughts of others.

Seriously, how old are you?

Why i am getting a vibe that you are being catfished online and now you are creating some sort of narrative of how you think relationships work, even though it doesn't sound like you have been in one. Because this isn't something people normally think of when they talk about relationships or families.

Or what's your goal here? It sounds like you are thinking "family" is something where you do the breeding and that's your only job as a father. If you are asexual, that's ok, but it doesn't sound like you would like living with a woman or wife either. So where's the happy part here?

[Fiatless]

A distance relationship will cause more harm than good. Not being close to each other might lead to extramarital affairs. My countrymen usually relocate to another country without their family. I don't blame them because they would have to move first to create an enabling environment for the family. Some of these families are having problems because of poor communication and lack of emotional satisfaction.

I don't have any business with sex toys or that online shits. Therefore, I don't think I would ever tolerate a long-distance relationship. If I have to get married, then we must stay together in one house.

Long-distance relationships could also cause financial recklessness. When spouses stay together, it becomes easy to plan and manage money.

[Whiteronin]

Or what's your goal here? It sounds like you are thinking "family" is something where you do the breeding and that's your only job as a father. If you are asexual, that's ok, but it doesn't sound like you would like living with a woman or wife either. So where's the happy part here?

Well, since I am a programmer and earn rather much for my city, I have a big experience of having sex with kept women. And finally I had realized that these relationships are usually just a kind of friend-zone (with sex). Any sexual relationships finally stop giving pleasure, if they are not aimed at giving birth to children.

[Agbamoni]

Distance relationship are a turn-off. Huge red flag for me. For others, it could be possible.

Men prefer sex, skin-to-skin affection, facial communication, and going out on a date. I don't know how women view distance realtionship but for men, it is difficult to remain faithful to the relationship without humping one or more women in the process

[programmer3666]

Marriage is an institution built on companionship that grows on a daily basis and having mutual emotional support and also being physically available to cheer each other up through life's struggles. Messaging each other on an app can never in a million years, replace the joy and happiness of having your partner close to you in person. Trying to build a stable family while continents apart is just another stage of loneliness in the making.And if couples are not willing to make sacrifices to live together and build a stable family or home, then they should avoid starting a family.

[Whiteronin]

Marriage is an institution built on companionship that grows on a daily basis and having mutual emotional support and also being physically available to cheer each other up through life's struggles. Messaging each other on an app can never in a million years, replace the joy and happiness of having your partner close to you in person. Trying to build a stable family while continents apart is just another stage of loneliness in the making.And if couples are not willing to make sacrifices to live together and build a stable family or home, then they should avoid starting a family.

I am mostly sure, that everything that we call "psychological factors" is just some understanding by our mind, that some things are profitable for us while other are not. Our subconscious is much more rational than people usually think. Sorry if my English is bad.

[o48o]

Or what's your goal here? It sounds like you are thinking "family" is something where you do the breeding and that's your only job as a father. If you are asexual, that's ok, but it doesn't sound like you would like living with a woman or wife either. So where's the happy part here?

Well, since I am a programmer and earn rather much for my city, I have a big experience of having sex with kept women. And finally I had realized that these relationships are usually just a kind of friend-zone (with sex). Any sexual relationships finally stop giving pleasure, if they are not aimed at giving birth to children.

MAybe this is an issue with translation, but that's not even remotely what friend-zone is supposed to mean (which is a dumb term on it's own, but i am not going into it).

Without more context, it sounds like you were paying for sex. So i am not sure what any of this have to do with family. Getting someone pregnant doesn't mean you would have a family, or that it would bring you happiness or the woman getting pregnant would be happy. Not to mention that offspring from that would want anything to do with you.

If you want to get someone pregnant and leave them for another to get them pregnant and continue, that's not decentralized anything. That's just you being irresponsible.

I really hope you find happiness, but there are other ways. Don't bring kids to it if you aren't taking responsibility of healthy parenting. You will only create kids with father issues they can't resolve.

[caroasi]

This is simply not the natural way of life for a human, and even less so for women who would not be happy with such arrangements. This is like finding a needle in a haystack... maybe 1 in 10,000 women would want such a relationship. But then again, you do have the internet to search through billions of people, so maybe you'll find this. I'm not at all convinced that is really what you want though. The general statistics are that the more sexual relationships one has, the less satisfied they are with their relationships.

What most people actually are happiest with is finding ONE life partner to raise a family with for their entire life, then put the work and dedication into their partner that is required to make the relationship a success. So rather than throwing out relationships that "don't work", one instead takes personal responsibility to ensure that the relationship does work with the most important factor being finding a mate who understands they must adapt and change over time for the good of their children.

"Having several sexual partners before marriage decreases marriage quality in 4 major ways: relationship satisfaction, relationship stability, sexual satisfaction, and emotional connection."
Wheatley Institute.
The Myth of Sexual Experience. Apr 2023.
https://wheatley.byu.edu/the-myth-of-sexual-experience

[Ucy]

Depends on what keeps the woman and man that seperate, plus the consequences of the seperation. If both can remain faithful to their marital vows (for the Christain couples esp) while still apart, then fine. But we know how difficult things like this can be for the world., even for Christians, which is part of the reasons we are told to become married and be together if resisting sexual sin is hard. But if the sin can be resisted then we can remain unmarried, for it's better to focus on serving the CREATOR of the Universe than be distracted by marriage life.

If the seperation is unavoidable it should not be permanent or last too long, so that they can be patient and hopeful of coming together permanently.
By the way, if such seperation will become permanent, it's unlikely they are destined for each other, for the ONE who created them would not destine them to live separately, it will contradict HIS Word on marriage and togetherness. It's either they refuse getting married once they're aware it will lead to such seperation or they marry and refuse to be that seperate.

Constant communication is very important but unlikely to help prevent infidelity. And ofcourse, "virtual intimacy" could become a habit and lead to more immoral form of virtual intimacy. Should also consider the spilling of semen that may be meant for procreation. And there is privacy issue on the internet, you can never be sure who has access to the virtual relationships or who is watching.

[Swordsoffreedom]

I believe that a man and woman can live in a happy marriage even if they live in different (distant) countries. I'll explain how this can work. They should communicate online, via messengers; this format of communication must be comfortable enough. Every two years, the wife flies to her husband's country, or he flies to hers, for unprotected sex during the woman's ovulation period, so that she has the highest chance of becoming pregnant. Once pregnant, the wife returns to her home country to give birth and raise their child. If she doesn't get pregnant, artificial insemination could be used.
The question is whether it will be possible to ensure that their communication via instant messaging apps is comfortable enough. If a husband needs regular sex, they could theoretically try some kind of virtual sex, like video chat, but I'll tell you right now that I'm not suggesting this to anyone, as it's dangerous and can be even forbidden in some countries. I don't think this is really necessary; protected sex without the goal of conception isn't particularly interesting in itself anyway (I've understood this myself firsthand). And which ways can make remote communication sufficiently comfortable, I'll write later. For now, I'd like to read the thoughts of others.

Seriously, how old are you?

Why i am getting a vibe that you are being catfished online and now you are creating some sort of narrative of how you think relationships work, even though it doesn't sound like you have been in one. Because this isn't something people normally think of when they talk about relationships or families.

Or what's your goal here? It sounds like you are thinking "family" is something where you do the breeding and that's your only job as a father. If you are asexual, that's ok, but it doesn't sound like you would like living with a woman or wife either. So where's the happy part here?

There's no need to know how old he is or whether he's even old enough. But Im pretty sure he doesn't know what love is, let alone marriage.

Someone who actually understand love wouldn't have such twisted view of marriage and reduce it to having sex, having children and nothing more. Marriage and family are also about companionship, sharing, taking care of each other, building life together. Its not just about sex.

Nobody want to be away from the person they love or their family. People only do that when circumstances leave them no choice.