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Author Topic: Game: Continue the South Park script.  (Read 1342 times)
ineededausername
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bitcoin hundred-aire


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December 29, 2011, 07:32:49 PM
 #1

Rules:
1. Doesn't have to be based on Phin's outline.
2. Please don't make the script too ludicrous; make it seem like an actual SP episode Smiley
Optional:
3. Italics are for the setting and characters' actions, bold the characters' names.  Make it readable!

---

Story is set in June, when bitcoins are $30 each.

School hallway
Cartman is putting up posters enthusiastically.  The posters depict a giant bitcoin symbol, with the tagline: "GET RICH QUICK! Meet in Room 245 after school."
Kyle, Stan and Kenny are walking down the hallway and see the poster.
Kyle: What's that weird coin with a B on it?
Cartman: Bitcoin!  I'm going to be a millionaire! Resumes taping poster to wall
Stan: How does it work?
Cartman: Come to my meeting.  We're totally gonna get rich, guys.

Cut to shot of school bell ringing and children being let out.

Cut to Room 245, after school.
Stan: You better have an idea that won't put us in jail, Cartman.
Cartman: Bangs gavel. Today, I am about to present to you the thing that will make us all billionaires. Puts up a slideshow.
During the slideshow, there are intermittent shots of the other 3 kids' skeptical faces watching Cartman's presentation.
Cartman: Bitcoin is a kind of money that people use on the internet. Changes slide
Here's a chart of Bitcoin prices.  Changes slide
As you can see from this forum post by S3052, the technicals are looking good! Spouts off some gibberish related to technical indicators.  This means that bitcoins will be 1 million dollars each by January!  All we have to do is run this thing on our computers when we're not playing video games! Changes slide
But that's not the only way to make money with Bitcoin!  This is a chart of sales on Silk Road...


Continue the script!

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Phinnaeus Gage
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December 29, 2011, 11:32:22 PM
 #2

Kenny: Mumbles a sentence or two.
Kyle: (offers up the translation with a response in a matter-of-fact voice) We all know that Father Maxi is the number one purchaser on Silk Road, Kenny. Now be quiet and let Fat Ass talk. He finally may have something here.
Cartman: Thank you, Kyle. As I was saying...
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December 30, 2011, 12:41:30 AM
 #3

Cartman: Silk Road is this place where people buy drugs with bitcoins.  If we sell the bitcoins that we get from running the program to the local druggies, we can get cash instantly for bitcoins without using an exchange!
Stan: I knew it would be illegal.
Kyle: rolls eyes.  Wow, fatass, you've thought this through.
Cartman: Shut up, Jew.  Changes slide
Slide:
PLAN:
1. Mine BitCoins
2. Sell BitCoins to druggies
3. Huh
4. Profit
<chart showing expected profit on a scale of "million, billion, gazillion">

So there's the plan.  As you can see here, we'll make a million bucks by 2012, a billion by 2013 and a gazillion by 2014.  Any questions?

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Phinnaeus Gage
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December 30, 2011, 01:34:13 AM
 #4

Quote
<chart showing expected profit on a scale of "million, billion, gazillion">

...with an image of Al Gore on a scissor's left pointing at the gazillion mark.

Token Black: What would stop me from forking off your testicles and creating my own coins and calling them PryorCoins?
Cartman: Technicals!!! Not testicles! Get the watermelon seeds out of your ears, Token. The only forking that might me done will be by me. Got it! Next question?
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December 30, 2011, 04:38:24 AM
 #5

Kyle: What's in it for me?
Cartman: I mine and you sell it to the druggies, and I'll give you one percent.
Kyle: One percent!?  Hell no!
Stan: How about fifty percent?
Cartman: Look Kyle, I'm doing all the hard work.  It took me all night last night to install the thing so shut your Jew mouth!

Fade to black as they argue
Cut to bus stop the next day
Cartman runs up while talking excitedly.
Cartman: Guys, guys!  I found another way to get bitcoins!  I put 1 bitcoin into a Ponzi scheme yesterday, and I got 2 more out!  That's 60 bucks!

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December 30, 2011, 06:46:09 AM
 #6

Kenny: (with his normal mumbling) What's a Ponzi scheme?
Cartman: It's like a pyramid scheme, but only better.

(Wendy enters the scene with the new kid in town)

Wendy: What's up?
Cartman: Nothing you wouldn't be interested in. It's only a guy thing.
Stan: Can't girls use Bitcoin.
Kyle: Quiet, Stan!
Cartman: Who's the new kid?
Wendy: Tom Williams, who just moved in next door to me.
Tom Williams: (with the most pleasant voice you'll ever here) Hi, gang!
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December 30, 2011, 02:12:39 PM
 #7

On the bus...
Kyle: So where do you come from?
Tom Williams: West Indies.  I came here cause I saw a mining spike in the charts here.  See, I have a Bitcoin business.  You hand your money to me, and I send it when you tell me to.
Cartman: That sounds retarded!
Another kid, dressed in a tux, comes over and deposits 5000 bitcoins

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Phinnaeus Gage
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December 30, 2011, 05:33:58 PM
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Then another kid comes along and deposits into Tom William's account. Then another. Then another.

Until...

ineededausername
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December 30, 2011, 08:41:46 PM
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Shot of school opening
In the usual classroom...
Mr. Garrison: Ok, class, today we're going to talk about <voice fades>
At the back of the classroom
Cartman: whispering Hey Stan pokes Stan!  Check out this one!
Stan: looks at Cartman's iPhone, with which he is looking at mining rigs Whoa, that's pretty big.
Cartman: It makes FIVE bitcoins a day!  That's --
Mr. Garrison interrupts their conversation.
Show 3 more conversations like this one.  Clearly, the idea of Bitcoin mining is spreading among the students.

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December 31, 2011, 06:17:02 AM
 #10

Even Mr. Hat even joins the choir by talking to Mr. Garrison about his mining rig.
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