Bad Joke Sunday

[LostDutchman]

 

A fourth-grade teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up... fireman, mechanic, businessman, salesman... and so forth.   

 However, little Justin was being uncharacteristically quiet, so when the teacher prodded him about his father, he replied,

 "My father's an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes to music in front of other men and they put money in his underwear. Sometimes, if the offer is really good, he will go home with some guy and stay with him all night for money."

  The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some exercises and took little Justin aside. "Is that really true about your father?"

"No," the boy said, "He works for the Democratic National Committee and helped to get Obama re-elected, but it's too embarrassing to say that in front of the other kids."

My $.02.



 

[Vod]

"A Farewell to Arms" is Ernest Hemingway's novel about an American soldier in Italy during World War I. He falls in love with a nurse in the hospital, decides to go AWOL, and rows all night with her in a boat from Italy to Switzerland to evade the authorities.

His girl friend was sitting in the stern of the boat, and he was rowing in the middle. At one point he said, "Cath, I love you."

She said, "Pardon?"

He said, "I said I love you."

She still didn't hear him, so he removed an oar from the lock, moved up to the stern, resumed steering the boat from that position, and said again, "I love you."

She said, "I love you too, but why are you standing there sculling when you can do so much better rowing where you were?"

He said, "You are undoubtedly right: I just sculled to say I love you."

[LostDutchman]

"A Farewell to Arms" is Ernest Hemingway's novel about an American soldier in Italy during World War I. He falls in love with a nurse in the hospital, decides to go AWOL, and rows all night with her in a boat from Italy to Switzerland to evade the authorities.

His girl friend was sitting in the stern of the boat, and he was rowing in the middle. At one point he said, "Cath, I love you."

She said, "Pardon?"

He said, "I said I love you."

She still didn't hear him, so he removed an oar from the lock, moved up to the stern, resumed steering the boat from that position, and said again, "I love you."

She said, "I love you too, but why are you standing there sculling when you can do so much better rowing where you were?"

He said, "You are undoubtedly right: I just sculled to say I love you."

Ohmigawd!

Way too funny!

My $.02.

[Phinnaeus Gage]

"A Farewell to Arms" is Ernest Hemingway's novel about an American soldier in Italy during World War I. He falls in love with a nurse in the hospital, decides to go AWOL, and rows all night with her in a boat from Italy to Switzerland to evade the authorities.

His girl friend was sitting in the stern of the boat, and he was rowing in the middle. At one point he said, "Cath, I love you."

She said, "Pardon?"

He said, "I said I love you."

She still didn't hear him, so he removed an oar from the lock, moved up to the stern, resumed steering the boat from that position, and said again, "I love you."

She said, "I love you too, but why are you standing there sculling when you can do so much better rowing where you were?"

He said, "You are undoubtedly right: I just sculled to say I love you."

Ohmigawd!

Way too funny!

My $.02.

I get it! A word on plays. Luckily, I looked up the word stern to understand and appreciated the entire yoke, otherwise I would have had egg on my face if I chimed in stating that I didn't get it.

Full disclosure: Sometimes, my posts are so deep, some could be considered fodder for the X-Files.

[LostDutchman]

"A Farewell to Arms" is Ernest Hemingway's novel about an American soldier in Italy during World War I. He falls in love with a nurse in the hospital, decides to go AWOL, and rows all night with her in a boat from Italy to Switzerland to evade the authorities.

His girl friend was sitting in the stern of the boat, and he was rowing in the middle. At one point he said, "Cath, I love you."

She said, "Pardon?"

He said, "I said I love you."

She still didn't hear him, so he removed an oar from the lock, moved up to the stern, resumed steering the boat from that position, and said again, "I love you."

She said, "I love you too, but why are you standing there sculling when you can do so much better rowing where you were?"

He said, "You are undoubtedly right: I just sculled to say I love you."

Ohmigawd!

Way too funny!

My $.02.

I get it! A word on plays. Luckily, I looked up the word stern to understand and appreciated the entire yoke, otherwise I would have had egg on my face if I chimed in stating that I didn't get it.

Full disclosure: Sometimes, my posts are so deep, some could be considered fodder for the X-Files.

I think you do just fine!

My $.02.

[Bit_Happy]

Just found this: Might not be "bad" but I've seen better.

[d2dtk]

Excuses are like assholes, everyone has one.

[LostDutchman]

Just found this: Might not be "bad" but I've seen better.

I like that one!

My $.02.

[Hazir]

What do you call the space between Pamela Anderson's breasts?
Silicon Valley.

[LostDutchman]

What do you call the space between Pamela Anderson's breasts?
Silicon Valley.

Not bad.

Not bad at all!

My $.02.

[Hazir]

A man wants to join the Big Dick Club, and heads down to the club to apply. The receptionist looks at him skeptically and asks him how large his dick is. "18 inches," he replies, proudly. To his surprise, the receptionist begins laughing uncontrollably, and the man leaves in shame. On the way out, he runs into the janitor, who asks him what's wrong. After he explains, he says to the man not to worry.
"See that lump in my sock?" The man nods. "And I'm just the janitor."

[Bit_Happy]

This is old, but clearly bad:

[BawsyBoss]

What's brown and really sticky?

A stick.

Totally cracked me up!

[Gervais]

This is old, but clearly bad:

Bad because its currently true? lol

[b!z]

A man wants to join the Big Dick Club, and heads down to the club to apply. The receptionist looks at him skeptically and asks him how large his dick is. "18 inches," he replies, proudly. To his surprise, the receptionist begins laughing uncontrollably, and the man leaves in shame. On the way out, he runs into the janitor, who asks him what's wrong. After he explains, he says to the man not to worry.
"See that lump in my sock?" The man nods. "And I'm just the janitor."

This fellow was so deeply in love that just before he was married, he had his bride's name tattooed on his love muscle. Normally, only the first and last letters were visible, although when he was aroused, the tattoo spelled out W-E-N-D-Y. Now they're on their honeymoon at a resort in Montego Bay. One night, in the men's room, this fellow finds himself standing next to a tall Jamaican at the urinal.

To his amazement, he notices that this man, too, has the letters W-Y tattooed on his penis. "Excuse me," he says, "but I couldn't help noticing your tattoo. Do you have a girlfriend named Wendy?" "No way, mon, I work for the Tourist board. Mine reads, "Welcome to Jamaica, mon. We have great beaches, great ladies, and great sun, mon! Have a nice day.'"

[MUFC]

This is old, but clearly bad:

Bad because its currently true? lol

I wish it was the other way around.

[Equate]

What do you call the space between Pamela Anderson's breasts?
Silicon Valley.

I wanna motorboat that silicon valley.

[Lethn]

This is old, but clearly bad:

Bad because its currently true? lol

I wish it was the other way around.

I like Bitcoin and I laughed at that

[LostDutchman]

Great stuff people!

Keep up the good work!

My $.02.

[Kiki112]

What do you call the space between Pamela Anderson's breasts?
Silicon Valley.

Not bad.

Not bad at all!

My $.02.

why do you keep writing My $.02?