While I wouldn't mind banging a Russian broad, there's just no way I'd ever be able to converse with her. Looking at those words and letters just makes my head spin. Anyways, hope they make good use of those Birch trees.
Hey, it's not that difficult. Half of the letters are roughly the same with the same reading and order as in Latin. You can learn all 33 letters in a week. And Russian is WYSIWYG, so once you know the letters you can read - (almost) no mucking about with exceptions as in English or French, which mainly consist of exceptions. Then learn a few words and string them together - Russian is more liberal when it comes to sentence building, with the order of the words giving slightly different flavours to the sentence meaning.
You can equally well say:
I go home
Home I go
Go I home
That conclude your first lesson of Russian language