4 months rehab - relapse, ask your questions!

[sickhouse]

Do you regret getting addicted?

Personally I regret it more than anything in the world.

I haven't followed the thread but I am going to update soon - big life changes going on soon.

[picolo]

Do you regret getting addicted?

Personally I regret it more than anything in the world.

I haven't followed the thread but I am going to update soon - big life changes going on soon.

Yes I think it is false to say you have to test drugs to know it is bad and to experience them. I am not in favor of banning them but they are bad for you. Some drugs more than others and especially for those who have an addictive personality.

[sickhouse]

I am going to rehab again early next year, another home this time where you work every day, physical work mostly. I am very motivated this time due to not being able to face my family without great shame inside. I feel like shit all the time more or less.

I seem to have kicked the Subutex now at least, been without for 10 days (would have been 20+ days, but I found one in a vitamine can when I was suffering the worst from the detox. My brain went haiwire for 10 minutes, decided to take half get rid of the other half. I still take Benzo and Lyrica but I an going to detox for that before the "real" home where I will stay for 2-5 months.

[sickhouse]

Do you regret getting addicted?

Personally I regret it more than anything in the world.

I haven't followed the thread but I am going to update soon - big life changes going on soon.

Yes I think it is false to say you have to test drugs to know it is bad and to experience them. I am not in favor of banning them but they are bad for you. Some drugs more than others and especially for those who have an addictive personality.

Banning them is pointless, if people want drugs they get them. Took 2 weeks and then we had a new silk road version up (don't ask me about the adress to it because I wont answer).
I think everything should be decriminalized and sold in a very controlled way with experienced people really warning about the side affects.

We already have alcohol legalized, and it is among the top 10 most harmful to your brain/body of all the drugs out there. Heroin for example is way less harmfull physically but mentally it fucks you up. It's a very tricky subject.

[b!z]

Do you regret getting addicted?

Personally I regret it more than anything in the world.

I haven't followed the thread but I am going to update soon - big life changes going on soon.

Yes I think it is false to say you have to test drugs to know it is bad and to experience them. I am not in favor of banning them but they are bad for you. Some drugs more than others and especially for those who have an addictive personality.

Banning them is pointless, if people want drugs they get them. Took 2 weeks and then we had a new silk road version up (don't ask me about the adress to it because I wont answer).
I think everything should be decriminalized and sold in a very controlled way with experienced people really warning about the side affects.

We already have alcohol legalized, and it is among the top 10 most harmful to your brain/body of all the drugs out there. Heroin for example is way less harmfull physically but mentally it fucks you up. It's a very tricky subject.

Case study: Portugal?

I haven't read up too much on decriminalization though.

I am going to rehab again early next year, another home this time where you work every day, physical work mostly. I am very motivated this time due to not being able to face my family without great shame inside. I feel like shit all the time more or less.

I seem to have kicked the Subutex now at least, been without for 10 days (would have been 20+ days, but I found one in a vitamine can when I was suffering the worst from the detox. My brain went haiwire for 10 minutes, decided to take half get rid of the other half. I still take Benzo and Lyrica but I an going to detox for that before the "real" home where I will stay for 2-5 months.

Sounds like a good decision. Stay strong mate.

[sickhouse]

Do you regret getting addicted?

Personally I regret it more than anything in the world.

I haven't followed the thread but I am going to update soon - big life changes going on soon.

Yes I think it is false to say you have to test drugs to know it is bad and to experience them. I am not in favor of banning them but they are bad for you. Some drugs more than others and especially for those who have an addictive personality.

Banning them is pointless, if people want drugs they get them. Took 2 weeks and then we had a new silk road version up (don't ask me about the adress to it because I wont answer).
I think everything should be decriminalized and sold in a very controlled way with experienced people really warning about the side affects.

We already have alcohol legalized, and it is among the top 10 most harmful to your brain/body of all the drugs out there. Heroin for example is way less harmfull physically but mentally it fucks you up. It's a very tricky subject.

Case study: Portugal?

I haven't read up too much on decriminalization though.

Czechoslovakia was the first country in europe to decriminalize everything, I have a mate who lives in Portugal and life goes on as normal. But as you I haven't read up much on the subject except that it saves the government a ton of money because the bullshit cases no longer exists.

I am going to rehab again early next year, another home this time where you work every day, physical work mostly. I am very motivated this time due to not being able to face my family without great shame inside. I feel like shit all the time more or less.

I seem to have kicked the Subutex now at least, been without for 10 days (would have been 20+ days, but I found one in a vitamine can when I was suffering the worst from the detox. My brain went haiwire for 10 minutes, decided to take half get rid of the other half. I still take Benzo and Lyrica but I an going to detox for that before the "real" home where I will stay for 2-5 months.

Sounds like a good decision. Stay strong mate.

Thanks I'm really fed up with this life now, all I do is sit alone in front of the computer more or less... If I don't sell shit to people - I am not like the other druggies out there, I don't really fit in with them tbh. My apartment is not a mess and I dont keep my bills piled up. Plus a "friend" commited suicide in less than 6 hours after we met (we got busted by the cops, he went home and OD'd on purpose leaving 2 kids behind), he was always kind to me - there will be more death and I don't want anyone even closer to me dying :/

[picolo]

Do you regret getting addicted?

Personally I regret it more than anything in the world.

I haven't followed the thread but I am going to update soon - big life changes going on soon.

Yes I think it is false to say you have to test drugs to know it is bad and to experience them. I am not in favor of banning them but they are bad for you. Some drugs more than others and especially for those who have an addictive personality.

Banning them is pointless, if people want drugs they get them. Took 2 weeks and then we had a new silk road version up (don't ask me about the adress to it because I wont answer).
I think everything should be decriminalized and sold in a very controlled way with experienced people really warning about the side affects.

We already have alcohol legalized, and it is among the top 10 most harmful to your brain/body of all the drugs out there. Heroin for example is way less harmfull physically but mentally it fucks you up. It's a very tricky subject.

Case study: Portugal?

I haven't read up too much on decriminalization though.

Czechoslovakia was the first country in europe to decriminalize everything, I have a mate who lives in Portugal and life goes on as normal. But as you I haven't read up much on the subject except that it saves the government a ton of money because the bullshit cases no longer exists.

I am going to rehab again early next year, another home this time where you work every day, physical work mostly. I am very motivated this time due to not being able to face my family without great shame inside. I feel like shit all the time more or less.

I seem to have kicked the Subutex now at least, been without for 10 days (would have been 20+ days, but I found one in a vitamine can when I was suffering the worst from the detox. My brain went haiwire for 10 minutes, decided to take half get rid of the other half. I still take Benzo and Lyrica but I an going to detox for that before the "real" home where I will stay for 2-5 months.

Sounds like a good decision. Stay strong mate.

Thanks I'm really fed up with this life now, all I do is sit alone in front of the computer more or less... If I don't sell shit to people - I am not like the other druggies out there, I don't really fit in with them tbh. My apartment is not a mess and I dont keep my bills piled up. Plus a "friend" commited suicide in less than 6 hours after we met (we got busted by the cops, he went home and OD'd on purpose leaving 2 kids behind), he was always kind to me - there will be more death and I don't want anyone even closer to me dying :/

It is tough to read that sickhouse, use your negative past experiences not to consume next time. I think of me fat not to eat, it works sometimes.
Having a few goals and spending time on them after waking up give results. Setting up a website, starting a business, exercising, writing a blog, doing a cv, sending cvs, doing work in the house..

You can do little things that you enjoy at night.

[Mr. Burns]

i'm addicted to phenethylamine.  it comes in pill form now, and is as addictive as meth.  except you don't form a damn tolerance..

[picolo]

i'm addicted to phenethylamine.  it comes in pill form now, and is as addictive as meth.  except you don't form a damn tolerance..

Organize your life to take a 2months vacation somewhere far away, you will come up clean and you may not get back into your old habits when you come back.

[sickhouse]

i'm addicted to phenethylamine.  it comes in pill form now, and is as addictive as meth.  except you don't form a damn tolerance..

Since I don't recognize the name of this particular drug I assume it's a research chemical? Unless you want to die in a few years switch drug if you can't get away from drugs completely (ofc you need to try to get out of it first altogether for a decent life).

[sickhouse]

Do you regret getting addicted?

Personally I regret it more than anything in the world.

I haven't followed the thread but I am going to update soon - big life changes going on soon.

Yes I think it is false to say you have to test drugs to know it is bad and to experience them. I am not in favor of banning them but they are bad for you. Some drugs more than others and especially for those who have an addictive personality.

Banning them is pointless, if people want drugs they get them. Took 2 weeks and then we had a new silk road version up (don't ask me about the adress to it because I wont answer).
I think everything should be decriminalized and sold in a very controlled way with experienced people really warning about the side affects.

We already have alcohol legalized, and it is among the top 10 most harmful to your brain/body of all the drugs out there. Heroin for example is way less harmfull physically but mentally it fucks you up. It's a very tricky subject.

Case study: Portugal?

I haven't read up too much on decriminalization though.

Czechoslovakia was the first country in europe to decriminalize everything, I have a mate who lives in Portugal and life goes on as normal. But as you I haven't read up much on the subject except that it saves the government a ton of money because the bullshit cases no longer exists.

I am going to rehab again early next year, another home this time where you work every day, physical work mostly. I am very motivated this time due to not being able to face my family without great shame inside. I feel like shit all the time more or less.

I seem to have kicked the Subutex now at least, been without for 10 days (would have been 20+ days, but I found one in a vitamine can when I was suffering the worst from the detox. My brain went haiwire for 10 minutes, decided to take half get rid of the other half. I still take Benzo and Lyrica but I an going to detox for that before the "real" home where I will stay for 2-5 months.

Sounds like a good decision. Stay strong mate.

Thanks I'm really fed up with this life now, all I do is sit alone in front of the computer more or less... If I don't sell shit to people - I am not like the other druggies out there, I don't really fit in with them tbh. My apartment is not a mess and I dont keep my bills piled up. Plus a "friend" commited suicide in less than 6 hours after we met (we got busted by the cops, he went home and OD'd on purpose leaving 2 kids behind), he was always kind to me - there will be more death and I don't want anyone even closer to me dying :/

It is tough to read that sickhouse, use your negative past experiences not to consume next time. I think of me fat not to eat, it works sometimes.
Having a few goals and spending time on them after waking up give results. Setting up a website, starting a business, exercising, writing a blog, doing a cv, sending cvs, doing work in the house..

You can do little things that you enjoy at night.

Well, the negative things in this life far outweigh the positive ones to say the least... It's the crawing that comes sneaking up on you that is the hard part. It's so strong I can not put it into words, when it came during my sober time this summer I could feel it in my whole body, especially my chest.. That is what worries me the most and what I need to be able to control. People look as addicts as weak human beings but if they knew how strong the crawing is when you've been sober for some time is they would change their opinion on that matter.

I know all the legwork that needs to be done, unfortunately my CV isn't worth shit (I think we have 25%+ unemployment rate in my age-span and I have been without a job for 6 years more or less), plus I have a criminal record thanks to even consuming drugs is an illegal offense that goes on your record over here. Plenty of fish in the sea for the employer to chose from and I am a bad fish in their eyes.
I have set goals, the primary of which is getting the fuck out of this corrupt shithole of a country. I know people have it worse in other countries but I hate being boxed in and sadly that's what we are in western society.