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otrkid70 (OP)
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August 31, 2014, 02:12:07 AM
Last edit: October 01, 2014, 09:39:52 AM by otrkid70
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August 31, 2014, 02:21:32 AM
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Back in July it was 89 degrees on a friday afternoon the phone rang, I was hot sweating and tired after a long day. i picked up the phone and looked at the caller I.D. it showed the caller as "Unknown" as i do with all calls that aren't listed on my I.D. i quickly hit END it stopped the ringer from making anymore noise.

Later that day i just got back from Wal-Mart, had to pick up some tissue and some cat food for my 3 year old tabby. She gets grumpy when she doesn't get fed just like me. I popped open a can of Whitefish platter for her and sat down at my small kitchen table with a nice cold beer. I'm trying to relax and Slowly recoup after a day at the mill. Tabby finished her meal and ran off no doubt to take a nap on my bed as usual. (Sounds like something i would like to do) The phone rang again and i picked it up once again looking at the I.D.  Once again it showed "Unknown" quick as i seen it i clicked "End" to stop the noise from ruining my afternoon. I sipped my Cold beer and went into the living room and started to watch some T.V.  Switching channels i finally stopped on a gameshow. (You know the kind,Looks simple as hell but you couldn't do it on a dare)

My body jumped as i woke up realizing i had slept through the show and i fell asleep for nearly 45 minutes. I caught my senses and took a sip of beer and the phone rang again. Thinking to myself who could be calling this late at night i once again looked at the I.D. once again it said "Unknown" Hit End and it stopped. Fucking bill collectors calling this late at night. (I Said to myself)

I just about dragged my ass upstairs with no energy i pulled back the blankets and crawled into bed, Tabby right there trying to get under the blankets with me. she never could sleep alone. she always wanted to be close to me. Damn cat!

In the morning, Woke up slightly confused and thought today was payday (Thursday) when in fact it was Wednesday. Made plans to go to the store and get my weekly steak after work then i realized the date when the weather forecaster shit on my parade and announced it was wednesday. I could have choked him if i got my hands on him! He has a lot of balls taking my steak dinner away from me...I smiled when i realized how much i miscalculated what day it was and looking forward to my Medium Rare steak.

My job is unrewarding and i pack aluminum after it has been anodized (basically taking shiny aluminum and making it dull) I pick up piece after piece packing it wrapped i paper and putting into a box 10 hours a day 50 hours a week with no thanks. Wednesday is no different from thursday with the exception of a paycheck on thursday.

wednesday was pretty much routine i'm packing metal and wrapp..(Intterupted)  Police came to the floor came walking over to me asked me if i was David Brown??  I said yes, but i paid my fine last month (referring to my speeding ticket).

the officer didn't budge with his facial expression he said you need to come with us. My mind had started racing as i walked with the officer as to what laws i may have broken......I couldn't think of anything at all!! It was driving me crazy!

We got to the police station and i followed the officer into a small room. My heart started racing as i seen a table with a form on it it in the shape of a person. The room was cold and the smell was indescribable.(smelled like old meat) The officer asked do you have family members? I answered yes! I have a sister why? (My mind was already racing and it wasn't good) The officer said is her name Jessica? Yes Jessica is my sister as tears poured from my eyes.

The officer said We have a person matching your sisters description we need you to I.D. her. My body collapsed and i hit the floor. I woke up and it felt like hours later when it was only seconds later. the officer asked me if i was ok and if i could continue. I almost couldn't answer but i replied yes. The officer pulled back the sheet.....I became sick i started throwing up and fell to my knees. Jessica was laying there on the table with holes in her and she was grey.

Several officers carried me...No, almost dragging my limp body out of the room. My sister laid on the table lifeless. I sat in a chair slumped on the table with a full cup of coffee in front of me that the officers gave me. Questions were being asked and it sounded like a drunken vision nothing made sense...Their words were merging and i couldn't make out the meanings. It seemed like hours of noise. The officers brought me home and i stumbled into the house. I climbed the stairs and crawled into bed. Tabby (like clockwork) crawled into bed with me and for some reason started to rub her face on mine. This was the only comfort i found after this whole ordeal.

In the morning two detectives woke me up with loud knocking on my door. I offered them to come in after they showed their badges and said their names. I never caught their names i was in a zombie state. the detectives began questioning me about a guy named Steve. Yes , i know Steve that is jessicas boyfriend. They asked does he drive a 2012 Ford escort? I said yes it's grey. They then told me that Steve had come home got into an argument with Jessica (According to neighbors and loud arguments) Steve was seen forcing Jessica into the car around 3 P.M. Friday afternoon. They claimed witnesses seen the car speed off. They say they traced Jessicas Cellphones using Celltowers to locate the (Rough) area where the signals where being broadcasted to find the car and Jessicas body in the trunk. They Claim jessicas last 3 phone calls were to your number and they explained that because she was in the trunk of the car the cell phone tower picked up the signals for relay but could not identify the caller.

Jessica had been stabbed over 14 times by her abusive Boyfriend and tried to call me 3 times from the trunk of the car until her phone died.  I love you jessica! I will never ignore another call!

P.S. This is Fiction and this is my material not to be copied Otrkid70

Ignore the call. There ain't nuthin' you can do about it, if she's callin' you from Heaven, or if she's callin' you from Hell.

 Cry

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honolululu
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August 31, 2014, 02:32:26 AM
 #3

3 Attempts at contacting the person made her desperate in the trunk of the car Kidnapped and then eventually stabbed to deatht...she kept calling till the phone died along with her.

Answer the phone!

Nice short story.  Can't say I 'enjoyed' it but it certainly moved me in a few ways.  Thanks for sharing.

Keep up the writing.
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August 31, 2014, 04:43:46 AM
 #4

not a bad short story.
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August 31, 2014, 04:56:32 AM
 #5

Fk.. this was intense, if this was a movie, I'd definitely watch and now I want to know what happens next. You're a good writer dude. A lesson to learn from this is always answer your phone, you never know who could be on the other side.

Well done!

 

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johny08
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August 31, 2014, 05:40:46 AM
 #6

yeah. phonecalls are exciting
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August 31, 2014, 05:57:39 AM
 #7

nice story you have a talent.
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August 31, 2014, 06:11:09 PM
 #8

Whoa, nice work, reason i always pick up calls no matter what Smiley.

Gleb Gamow
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August 31, 2014, 06:39:00 PM
 #9

I'll concur, for once I started reading, I couldn't find a place to jump off, hence reading till the end.

Now, tell the story from Jessica's PoV while in the trunk musing about her brother.
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August 31, 2014, 09:13:30 PM
 #10

Smiley well if beautiful person call you , Cheesy YOU MUST answer all Smiley because you will be happy  100% belive me on the word Cheesy lol
Gleb Gamow
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September 01, 2014, 02:28:47 AM
 #11

I'll concur, for once I started reading, I couldn't find a place to jump off, hence reading till the end.

Now, tell the story from Jessica's PoV while in the trunk musing about her brother.
This is a great idea. I didn't even think of writing it from her viewpoint.

Whoa, nice work, reason i always pick up calls no matter what Smiley.
Thanks
Fk.. this was intense, if this was a movie, I'd definitely watch and now I want to know what happens next. You're a good writer dude. A lesson to learn from this is always answer your phone, you never know who could be on the other side.

Well done!
I have a Movie idea that i'm willing to write that would make this look goofy. Very intense plot.

Does your idea involve the PoV of everybody surrounding the Jessica story, including the dude at the novelty store who sold the knife? What the argument was about from Steve's PoV? How the cop gets excited (in a perverted way) each time he shows a dead body to a loved one? Steve's car was recently purchased from a dealership where the previous owner's name was...wait for it...Jessica, traded in for an expensive ride because she finally was awarded a check from the insurance company due to her late husband legally declared dead after been missing for over seven years? Lastly, somewhere in every PoV story line, there's this same dude seen in the distance, donning the same outfit, and walking the same dog (think Doge)?

That idea?
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September 01, 2014, 08:07:56 PM
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I'll concur, for once I started reading, I couldn't find a place to jump off, hence reading till the end.

Now, tell the story from Jessica's PoV while in the trunk musing about her brother.
This is a great idea. I didn't even think of writing it from her viewpoint.

Whoa, nice work, reason i always pick up calls no matter what Smiley.
Thanks
Fk.. this was intense, if this was a movie, I'd definitely watch and now I want to know what happens next. You're a good writer dude. A lesson to learn from this is always answer your phone, you never know who could be on the other side.

Well done!
I have a Movie idea that i'm willing to write that would make this look goofy. Very intense plot.

Does your idea involve the PoV of everybody surrounding the Jessica story, including the dude at the novelty store who sold the knife? What the argument was about from Steve's PoV? How the cop gets excited (in a perverted way) each time he shows a dead body to a loved one? Steve's car was recently purchased from a dealership where the previous owner's name was...wait for it...Jessica, traded in for an expensive ride because she finally was awarded a check from the insurance company due to her late husband legally declared dead after been missing for over seven years? Lastly, somewhere in every PoV story line, there's this same dude seen in the distance, donning the same outfit, and walking the same dog (think Doge)?

That idea?
You have some interesting views on writing. Do you dabble in Writing at all or just an avid reader?  if you like to write check out this proposal https://bitcointalk.org/index.php?topic=764159.0
I might write a murder mystery Regarding Satoshi and incorporate some big names from the forum here and their motives as to why they might be a potential suspect.   

Where were you PG when Satoshi posted his last post on December 12, 2010 (The night i suspected he was murdered) can you Account for your Location on that night? Hmmm

It was a Sunday night, and I just left church... no, wait, it was an outside BBQ, for I remember all the snow... Okay, there was no snow, so I must have been at... Are you sure it was Dec. 12, 2010, for I'm beginning to believe you're memory is flawed, whereas mine...

I guess my interesting views stems from thinking outside the...wait for it...

I only dabble in writing, mainly on this forum, daily honing said ability with the help of Google.

I, too, have a story in my head having the working title The Run-on Man. It's about some forum user that has the unique ability to weed out scammers, finding himself having a high-dollar, payable in bitcoins, contract on him to be knocked off, but he doesn't know which group is after him, being there's so many he's ousted, while he continues to travel from safehouse to safehouse, continuing to post, albeit in short Ursprache prose, deviating from his signature grammatically correct run-on sentences, hence the working title, reminiscent of The Running Man staring Arnold Schwarzenegger who, by the way, may have a new movie in the works.
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