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Politico news report from 30 years in the future...
Reporting from Bahgdad capital of the Republic of United Nations.
U.N. First Citizen Barack Obama called Tuesday for greater global oversight of bitcoin markets, his latest effort to head off market manipulation as bitcoin prices stay high ahead of the peak summer months.
“We can’t afford a situation where some speculators can reap trillions while billions of families get the short end of the stick. That’s not the way the market should work,” Obama said in a speech, laying out a $520 quadrillion proposal largely aimed at beefing up the Commodities Future Trading Commission’s oversight and enforcement of the bitcoin markets.
Exchange prices have risen since the start of the year and the Seperatist Party's global first citizen candidates have attacked Obama on the issue, the United Nations pushed an “all of the above” strategy, which includes more government mining, the development of alternative cryptocurrencies and stepping up predator drone attacks of the bitcoin mining industry.
Another piece of cutting prices, the First Citizen said Tuesday, is to root out market manipulation.
The administration needs to “work extra hard to protect consumers from factors that should not affect the price of bitcoins,” he said. “That includes doing everything we can to ensure that an irresponsible few aren’t able to hurt consumers by illegally manipulating or rigging the bitcoin markets for their own gain.”
Obama wants the U. N. Congressional Committee to approve new funding for at least a six-fold increase of “cops on the beat” to stop market manipulation and illegal speculation, detention without trial with possible execution for manipulation and new funding to update the CFTC’s technology to monitor online markets. Obama is also taking executive action to share the commission’s data with the Council of Economic Advisers.
The U. N. declined to predict how the moves would affect bitcoin prices at the consumer level. Ironically, the U. N. spokesperson said about speculating on speculation, "I'm not going to speculate about this provision or any other provision and the specific effects it would have on the price at local exchanges,” Brian Deese of National Economic Council said.
The First Citizen has blamed bitcoin speculators for rising prices before, and created a task force a year ago to deal with the issue. But the task force has met only a handful of times and has not issued a public report, McClatchy reported last month.
Obama spent much of February and March telling second citizens that there is “no silver bullet” to cut bitcoin prices while nonetheless stressing he was doing all he could to cut prices. With the price of a of a single bitcoin at $3,900,000, according to AAA, down a bit from its recent peak, bitcoin prices remain an issue where Obama is vulnerable.
Aware of that vulnerability, Agorists were skeptical of Obama’s proposal Tuesday.
The Anonymous Agorist Pary (AAP) representative didn’t think much of the plan, saying that going after speculators won’t lower prices at the local currency exchanges. He also attacked the United Nations for trying to make International Monetary Fund's currency, the Bernanke dollar, happy.
“While families struggle to pay bitcoin prices that have doubled on his watch, the President’s only solutions are to target bitcoin users and bitcoin nodes with higher taxes and detention,” the AAP said in a statement. “And they will not distract the people from the dictator’s consistent record of sacrificing our future to appease the corporate-statist alliance in the GDP [Global Democratic Party].”
The anonymous representative also said, "The U.N. knows that none of its "second citizens" uses their worthless Bernanke currency if all they are going to do is print it so they can bail out their friends. Not regulating bitcoins and making it easier to purchase would make the price much more stable. It is fine though, Obama's rhetoric will amount to nothing as most of the large bitcoin exchanges are located on satellites circuling the Earth to escape the draconian U.N. machine."
THe AAP also took issue with Obama for invoking the United States, the infamous North American-based government that went bankrupt in 2017 and led to the currency crisis that led to the formation of the current United Nations.
“We can't afford a situation where speculators artificially manipulate markets by buying up bitcoin, creating the perception of a shortage, and driving prices higher — only to flip the bitcoin for a quick profit,” Obama said.
“And for anyone who thinks this cannot happen, just think back to how the former United States of America manipulated the price of dollars to reap huge profits at everybody else’s expense.”
The AAP thought the American comparison was out of bounds. “To waste time comparing today's #bitcoin commodity mkts to the United States is insulting. #USA was a bunch of crooks,” the AAP tweeted, later added: “Be careful, the next card will be a 51% attack. That's the ultimate market manipulation.”
