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Author Topic: Headline in 30 years: Obama goes after bitcoin speculators  (Read 2493 times)
stochastic
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April 18, 2012, 05:11:01 AM
 #1

A Politico news report from 30 years in the future...

Reporting from Bahgdad capital of the Republic of United Nations.

U.N. First Citizen Barack Obama called Tuesday for greater global oversight of bitcoin markets, his latest effort to head off market manipulation as bitcoin prices stay high ahead of the peak summer months.

“We can’t afford a situation where some speculators can reap trillions while billions of families get the short end of the stick. That’s not the way the market should work,” Obama said in a speech, laying out a $520 quadrillion proposal largely aimed at beefing up the Commodities Future Trading Commission’s oversight and enforcement of the bitcoin markets.

Exchange prices have risen since the start of the year and the Seperatist Party's global first citizen candidates have attacked Obama on the issue, the United Nations pushed an “all of the above” strategy, which includes more government mining, the development of alternative cryptocurrencies and stepping up predator drone attacks of the bitcoin mining industry.

Another piece of cutting prices, the First Citizen said Tuesday, is to root out market manipulation.

The administration needs to “work extra hard to protect consumers from factors that should not affect the price of bitcoins,” he said. “That includes doing everything we can to ensure that an irresponsible few aren’t able to hurt consumers by illegally manipulating or rigging the bitcoin markets for their own gain.”

Obama wants the U. N. Congressional Committee to approve new funding for at least a six-fold increase of “cops on the beat” to stop market manipulation and illegal speculation, detention without trial with possible execution for manipulation and new funding to update the CFTC’s technology to monitor online markets. Obama is also taking executive action to share the commission’s data with the Council of Economic Advisers.

The U. N. declined to predict how the moves would affect bitcoin prices at the consumer level. Ironically, the U. N. spokesperson said about speculating on speculation, "I'm not going to speculate about this provision or any other provision and the specific effects it would have on the price at local exchanges,” Brian Deese of National Economic Council said.

The First Citizen has blamed bitcoin speculators for rising prices before, and created a task force a year ago to deal with the issue. But the task force has met only a handful of times and has not issued a public report, McClatchy reported last month.

Obama spent much of February and March telling second citizens that there is “no silver bullet” to cut bitcoin prices while nonetheless stressing he was doing all he could to cut prices. With the price of a of a single bitcoin at $3,900,000, according to AAA, down a bit from its recent peak, bitcoin prices remain an issue where Obama is vulnerable.

Aware of that vulnerability, Agorists were skeptical of Obama’s proposal Tuesday.

The Anonymous Agorist Pary (AAP) representative didn’t think much of the plan, saying that going after speculators won’t lower prices at the local currency exchanges. He also attacked the United Nations for trying to make International Monetary Fund's currency, the Bernanke dollar, happy.

“While families struggle to pay bitcoin prices that have doubled on his watch, the President’s only solutions are to target bitcoin users and bitcoin nodes with higher taxes and detention,” the AAP said in a statement. “And they will not distract the people from the dictator’s consistent record of sacrificing our future to appease the corporate-statist alliance in the GDP [Global Democratic Party].”

The anonymous representative also said, "The U.N. knows that none of its "second citizens" uses their worthless Bernanke currency if all they are going to do is print it so they can bail out their friends.  Not regulating bitcoins and making it easier to purchase would make the price much more stable.  It is fine though, Obama's rhetoric will amount to nothing as most of the large bitcoin exchanges are located on satellites circuling the Earth to escape the draconian U.N. machine."

THe AAP also took issue with Obama for invoking the United States, the infamous North American-based government that went bankrupt in 2017 and led to the currency crisis that led to the formation of the current United Nations.

“We can't afford a situation where speculators artificially manipulate markets by buying up bitcoin, creating the perception of a shortage, and driving prices higher — only to flip the bitcoin for a quick profit,” Obama said.

“And for anyone who thinks this cannot happen, just think back to how the former United States of America manipulated the price of dollars to reap huge profits at everybody else’s expense.”

The AAP thought the American comparison was out of bounds. “To waste time comparing today's #bitcoin commodity mkts to the United States is insulting. #USA was a bunch of crooks,” the AAP tweeted, later added: “Be careful, the next card will be a 51% attack. That's the ultimate market manipulation.”

Introducing constraints to the economy only serves to limit what can be economical.
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April 18, 2012, 05:22:05 AM
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I like that even in a hypothetical setting, Obama is for regulation. Very lifelike  Grin

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April 18, 2012, 05:23:21 AM
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Whachu smokin', Willis? I want some of that, it puts the bugs up in your shiggy wiggy  Grin

"Science flies you to the Moon, religion flies you into buildings."
 - Victor Stenger

"Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and the rulers as useful."
 - Seneca the Elder (ca. 54 BCE - ca. 39 CE) Roman rhetorician
Raoul Duke
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April 18, 2012, 05:32:16 AM
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Obama is still alive 30 years from now?  Shocked

stochastic
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April 18, 2012, 05:33:47 AM
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Obama is still alive 30 years from now?  Shocked

Of course, he would only be 81 by then and we reached the Technological Singularity to give him the nanobot immune system and synthetically grown organs to live forever.

Introducing constraints to the economy only serves to limit what can be economical.
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April 18, 2012, 05:43:44 AM
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Obama is still alive 30 years from now?  Shocked

I'd say 'Zombie' or 'Vampire' as a non-sf alternative.

Or a 'Robot zombie vampire' if you want to hedge your bets.

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April 18, 2012, 08:54:11 AM
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So where are the economists now to point out this obvious result of the Bitcoin "experiment"?

speculation == stability

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stochastic
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April 18, 2012, 08:55:50 AM
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So where are the economists now to point out this obvious result of the Bitcoin "experiment"?

speculation == stability

They are scratching their heads at the rise in oil prices while every significant oil producing nation is pointing missiles at one another.

Introducing constraints to the economy only serves to limit what can be economical.
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April 18, 2012, 09:20:46 AM
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I realise it's just a bit of fun; and I hate getting pulled into treating someone's throw away joke as serious... but (there's always a but)

In order for bitcoin to succeed on the sort of level we'd need to make your future-prediction possible, wouldn't bitcoin have become ingrained in the economic system?  That would suggest that people are no longer "buying" bitcoins on open exchanges, they would getting paid in bitcoins.  In which case, massive price increases would delight them (but probably not their employers).

Also: manipulators get less and less likely the higher the bitcoin price goes.  Eventually, it will only be governments that have enough cash to do so.  If bitcoin truly became a world currency (which is probably not likely in even the most optimistic of bitcoin future-histories) then probably not even governments would be able to manipulate price.  I base that off the fact that the FOREX market trades about $4 trillion worth of currency daily.

It's interesting to wonder what the political response would be to a successful bitcoin though.  Since their first instinct is always "monitor and measure", I would guess that they will require all employers to pay employees using a bitcoin address that has been registered with the government.  It would be pretty trivial to create a tax-office website that accepts "social security number = address" registrations automatically.


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stochastic
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April 18, 2012, 09:33:21 AM
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I realise it's just a bit of fun; and I hate getting pulled into treating someone's throw away joke as serious... but (there's always a but)

In order for bitcoin to succeed on the sort of level we'd need to make your future-prediction possible, wouldn't bitcoin have become ingrained in the economic system?  That would suggest that people are no longer "buying" bitcoins on open exchanges, they would getting paid in bitcoins.  In which case, massive price increases would delight them (but probably not their employers).

Also: manipulators get less and less likely the higher the bitcoin price goes.  Eventually, it will only be governments that have enough cash to do so.  If bitcoin truly became a world currency (which is probably not likely in even the most optimistic of bitcoin future-histories) then probably not even governments would be able to manipulate price.  I base that off the fact that the FOREX market trades about $4 trillion worth of currency daily.

It's interesting to wonder what the political response would be to a successful bitcoin though.  Since their first instinct is always "monitor and measure", I would guess that they will require all employers to pay employees using a bitcoin address that has been registered with the government.  It would be pretty trivial to create a tax-office website that accepts "social security number = address" registrations automatically.



The way I see Bitcoin's future is that most people are paid with their worthless fiat currency which is going through high levels of hyperinflation.  People natural instinct in this situation is to buy things.  This is what a consumer and service industry needs and why a lot of economists like inflation.  Another way to avoid the hyperinflation is to buy something that can hold its value.  Thus people in my make believe world go and buy bitcoins on the black market with their hyperinflating fiat currency.  Bitcoin would be illegal for any transactions but it is impossible to regulate them and almost impossible to see that people posses them.  This is not like gold that can be confiscated like FDR did.  The government can only tolerate them and make it as hard as possible to convert from fiat to bitcoin.

Bitcoin like any currency is determined by supply and demand.  The supply of bitcoins is set yet as the dollar loses value people demand bitcoins because it has a set limited supply unlike the local currency.  So if bitcoin can survive the coming war then I believe this future could happen and bitcoin could be the dominant currency between people but not necessarily accepted by the rulers.

Introducing constraints to the economy only serves to limit what can be economical.
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April 18, 2012, 08:37:37 PM
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Lol, bitcoin having a dollar price in 30 years is really optimistic (for the dollar).

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