Hashfast - Now Offering - The " Long Pole" and the " Short End of the Stick"
January 03 2014
Dear Reader, there are consequences to participating in Pre-Orders.
Hashfast LLC aka - HashFail, FailedHash, HalfAssed, FizzledFast, HushFast, FlubbedHash, GashedFast, HashPuppy, HushFailed and HumpFast, purveyors of the Golden Nonce Chip aka The Non Nonce, NonSence, NoSense, SensiNoosh, NoonanNonce, NakedNunce and GoldenDumpChip is performing like a Lead Zeppelin. No offense to Robert and Jimmy.
Check out the bright red banner across the top their Blog page - I can't make this one up, folks.
In case you can't read the small writing I can help - from their website - http://hashfast.com/were-shipping-2013/
"SALES ARE SUSPENDED TEMPORARILY. PLEASE CHECK BACK SOON."
Check back . . . SOON? WTF?
( Insert appropriate Butteryflop, I mean, Butterfly - joke here )
"Over the past few weeks we have been fully focused on getting the rigs and chips tested and delivered."
SURE YOU HAVE. ( is his nose getting long yet?)
"Because of that focus, it’s meant that we haven’t been too great at communicating."
Actually, it's easy to lose focus on communicating when you don't have any product to deliver not time and you are focusing on staying two steps ahead of the rumblings of a Class Action Law suit that are purported to allege that you didn't provide your BabyJets on time as promised in October and are refusing to offer refunds to your customers - http://mobile.extremetech.com/computing/18977-bitcoin-asic-manufacturer-hashfast-facing-lawsuits-over-alleged-false-advertising-fluctuating-bitcoin-prices?origref=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com%2F
"But that doesn’t mean we don’t have great news to give our customers."
Our great news is that we won't be held responsible for any commitments to any of our customers.
"Over the past few weeks, we’ve been fully focused on making sure that our modules work as promised."
We were so FOCUSED that we FORGOT to MAKE your Miners! Ah, THAT explains it.
"That was the “long pole” that kept us from shipping in volume to our customers."
The LONG POLE? Really? The one that we are sticking up your arse . . . right now?
"Once that was established, we were finally able to turn our attention to the silicon itself to see what the hashing engine can do, and just how far it could be pushed."
Once it was in, good and deep, we turned it real quick, and SNAPPED it off! Ouch! Silicon? I think the only silicone you were paying attention to was at the Spearmint Rhino at the Bitcoin Convention last month in Vegas. Heeeyooo!
My favorite part of the disingenuous blog is the overtly -PROGRESSIVE - rhetoric that pobrecita Amy Woodward - the hapless sacrificial lamb seen in the photo below carefully loading what appears to be 2 Cardboard boxes onto a pallet.
Those neatly rolled up sleeves and Navy Blue sweater are comforting, aren't they? Again, folks, I can't make this FastFlop steaming-shovelful-of-horse-manure-they-are-feeding-the-public up. If I were a screenwriter, though, I would be taking notes.
Amy and her twin poodles, about to take her trip to the Bahamas, where she is going to drink Rum Runners while she counts your loot.
"Our view is that we are still committed to selling the world’s most advanced rigs to individual miners. Diversity and democracy are the key to maintain the integrity of the network, and vibrant individual miner community is the key to maintaining diversity and democracy.
We will be back in touch with 4 announcements to start out 2014.
All the Best, and Happy New Year to All!
The HashFast team"
Let's just throw in the words Democracy and Diversity. Give 'em something popular sounding. That will keep our customers drinking this Kool Aid.
Did everyone get screwed over equally by HashDump??
FastFlush, Are you telling us, "What difference does it make! ! "
A SUPER BIG THANKS TO the FailFarce Team for making my job a breeze! ! !
Muchas Gracias! Son Muy Buenos, Compadres! !