Dick upgrading, giving other dicks diseases and buying Dicksurance™:
In this time of great technology as well as medical miracles it's now possible to both accessorize your dick as well as grow it to lengths longer then previously thought possible.. Just because your dick branch starts off one size does not mean you are stuck with it forever!
You can (for a nominal fee) have your dick branch extended! Also adding cool custom accessories to your dick is way to make it stand out from the crowd! If you can think it, It can be added (more then likely)!
Another new feature is the ability to give your dick branch (or others) infectious diseases! Herpes, clamidya, maple syrup drip dick..
If you can imagine it and have the BTC to back your biological warfare against another dick branch by all means spread the "love".
In order to combat this new feature, The dick branches can now be insured with KLYE-brand Dicksurance™!
This prevents others from infecting your dick branch with any sort of nasty saber toothed crotch crickets or any other unwanted nastiness!
Dicksurance™ costs are on a case to case basis and protect indefinitely! Names listed above marked in bold italics have Dicksurance™!
this is friggin' hilarious, I love it
I quoted the most amusing part imo
although I may need a new keyboard as just spat tea all over it
good luck!
