maybe im missing some aspect here (very likely considering my tech knowledge depth of btc;),
Almost certainly.
but in theory couldnt btc devs impliment an update for the blockchain to have a wallet lockout feature?
No. There is no way to force the thief to use the wallet created by the devs. The thief could just create their own wallet software.
so say if bitstamp call up the btc wallet police
I don't think there is such a thing as a "BTC Wallet Police".
and say: all my coins are being stolen and going to address x, then that address is blocked out from interacting with the bchain until such a time as the wallet holder can be caught? basically freezing assets as they do in the fiat world?
And if I get angry at you, can I call up "the bitcoin police" and lie and say "all my coins are stolen and have gone to
your_addresses_here", and then they can freeze your funds without your permission?
not talking about tagging the coins themselves directly (or looking to get into discussing the morals of the logisitc here; who would police the police etc), but interested in knowing if its technically possible to 'ban' a wallet per se.
?
Not without the consensus of all the users, and you aren't going to get that.