reeses (OP)
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Assholier-than-thou retard magnet
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July 24, 2012, 03:04:48 AM |
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Since everyone fantasizes about Pirate on the other boards, I thought it appropriate to take it to the next level.
PirateAt40, The Beloved Disciple, and The Last Temptation of Christ
1At the conclusion of the last supper™, Pirate remained to help Jesus clear the table and store the left-over food. 2Judas stood in the darkness of the kitchen, opening and closing the refrigerator door as if expecting to find a forgotten joint of lamb with which to make a sandwich. 3Judas, however, was engaging in an oft-discovered ploy to stall taking his leave of Jesus.
4Pirate cleared his throat loudly and eyed Judas to leave. 5Judas lifted his shoulders to his ears, as if he wished to ask Pirate what it was that he wanted.
6Pirate looked at Jesus, whose back was turned toward him, and made the sign of the circle, and he thrust the index finger of his other hand through the circle thus made, pointing it at Jesus.
7Judas made a sour face and closed the refrigerator a final time with a great crash, shaking the bottles of beer and cans of diet cola therein.
8Judas then rolled his eyes in his head, and pointed them first at Pirate, then at Jesus, and made the same circle. 9He thrust his index finger through the circle, pointing it at Jesus. 10Then he took the thumb of his left hand and pointed it at his breast.
11"Judas, leave us. 12I wish to discuss the circle with my beloved disciple in private," spoke Jesus, surprising both Judas and Pirate.
13Judas was shamed at the slight, and his heart was turned against Jesus. 14He resolved to denounce Jesus as a shameful seducer and charlatan and left to speak lies unto the Pharisees.
15"Jesus..." said Pirate, but was stopped from speaking when Jesus touched his mouth with his own.
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