Would the coins be safe after they steal the phone because we know they will, can we get the coins back in that scenario when the phone is taken or do we lose both?
Rubberhose just hides everything from them, so if they steal the phone they'll never know they hold the key to them.
Which wallet you have in there determines if you have a backup or not... Use something like electrum and you can keep a Seed at home.
I am only now looking into having some bitcoins on a phone wallet looks like it could be a good idea multi sig with your partners phone or something would make it pretty safe.
Until the day comes when we feel the need to use such a system, the best we can do is a strong 2-of-3 multisig wallet like GreenAddress.it.
I've written an extensive comparrison of multisig wallets over here:
http://bravenewcoin.com/news/the-best-multisig-wallets-of-2014Enjoy!