You do realise all these articles coming out of psychotic and violent girlfriends is making it much harder for me to go out and find a girl right guys? I'd much rather stay single with all these stories I keep hearing about lol, it's come to a point now where if I ever meet someone new I'm just thinking "Please don't be a psychopath, please don't be a psychopath"
1. Strike up conversation on Internet with hot Phillipine girl
2. Go to visit. Land in Manilla, take small plane to remote island. Then take boat to island with girl. Bring case of decent wine.
3. Take ridiculous old THING that was once a truck down crazy roads to small village.
4. Feast eyes on hot girl and on nice Internet satellite comm system.
5. Negotiate with village chief for girl. Agree to three bottles of wine and a pig.
6. Find a pig and buy it, complete transaction with village chief.
8. Stop for lunch on way out at the regional Communist stronghold. They have good lunch I heard. Agree with them that they are hip. Agree with them that the guerrillas are bad. Tip well.
9. Bring girl back to the US.
10. Start wishing you were back with her on that island.
11. DO NOT attempt to do this multiple times while with first girl.
