Title: You have 2 cows. Post by: kokjo on March 31, 2013, 08:18:43 PM SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbour COMMUNISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk FASCISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk NAZISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you BUREAUCRATISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income VENTURE CAPITALISM You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public then buys your bull. SURREALISM You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons. AN AMERICAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead. A GREEK CORPORATION You have two cows. You borrow lots of euros to build barns, milking sheds, hay stores, feed sheds, dairies, cold stores, abattoir, cheese unit and packing sheds. You still only have two cows. A FRENCH CORPORATION You have two cows. You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows. A JAPANESE CORPORATION You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called a Cowkimona and market it worldwide. AN ITALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You decide to have lunch. A SWISS CORPORATION You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them. A CHINESE CORPORATION You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity. You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation. AN INDIAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You worship them. A BRITISH CORPORATION You have two cows. Both are mad. AN IRAQI CORPORATION Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the ** out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy. AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows. Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate. A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION You have two cows. The one on the left looks very attractive... Title: Re: You have 2 cows. Post by: Mike Christ on March 31, 2013, 08:30:42 PM Quote AN ITALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You decide to have lunch. Too funny ;D Title: Re: You have 2 cows. Post by: aigeezer on March 31, 2013, 08:56:51 PM Nice modern spin on an old joke! I love the VENTURE CAPITALISM
Suggested ism additions: Catholicism, terrorism, and of course libertarianism. Perhaps McCarthyism for the nostalgic. Title: Re: You have 2 cows. Post by: dotcom on April 01, 2013, 02:33:34 AM VENTURE CAPITALISM You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public then buys your bull. http://www.reactionface.info/sites/default/files/images/1310581525531.jpg Title: Re: You have 2 cows. Post by: nimda on April 01, 2013, 02:46:22 AM AN ITALIAN CORPORATION That was unexpected :DYou have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You decide to have lunch. Title: Re: You have 2 cows. Post by: Jocky on April 01, 2013, 08:24:44 PM Bitcoin: You have two cows, nobody really understand how they work but you'll have to shut down every farm in existance in order to shut that cow down. And if you forget their names, they'll seize to exist forever.
Title: Re: You have 2 cows. Post by: myrkul on April 01, 2013, 08:29:49 PM Bitcoin: You have two cows, nobody really understand how they work but you'll have to shut down every farm in existance in order to shut that cow down. And if you forget their names, they'll seize to exist forever. Nice! Cyprus: You have two cows. The government takes your cows. When you ask where the cows are, you are told they were slaughtered. In return, they give you a hamburger. Title: Re: You have 2 cows. Post by: kokjo on April 01, 2013, 08:30:40 PM Bitcoin: You have two cows, nobody really understand how they work but you'll have to shut down every farm in existance in order to shut that cow down. And if you forget their names, they'll seize to exist forever. Nice! Cyprus: You have two cows. The government takes your cows. When you ask where the cows are, you are told they were slaughtered. In return, they give you a hamburger with horse. Title: Re: You have 2 cows. Post by: Ekaros on April 01, 2013, 08:48:26 PM You have 2 cows Your neighbor comes kills you and takes your cows You are dead Hmm, now what is this? ;D Title: Re: You have 2 cows. Post by: myrkul on April 01, 2013, 08:51:05 PM You have 2 cows Your neighbor comes kills you and takes your cows You are dead Hmm, now what is this? ;D Title: Re: You have 2 cows. Post by: Garr255 on April 01, 2013, 08:56:12 PM Haha thanks for this thread :P
Title: Re: You have 2 cows. Post by: zif33rs on April 01, 2013, 08:56:40 PM Thanks for the laugh kokjo...good stuff.
Title: Re: You have 2 cows. Post by: laura2010 on April 02, 2013, 12:52:35 PM Hahah yeah that's true, especially in italy ::)
Title: Re: You have 2 cows. Post by: Britainacoin on April 03, 2013, 12:07:16 PM AN IRAQI CORPORATION Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the ** out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy. But it was just democracy-tipped cruise missiles the US fired at the Iraqi population, wasnt it? It surely can't be the case that the US would indiscriminately bomb a bustling capital city. Any videos of Baghdad being bombarded are clearly just propaganda. :P Title: Re: You have 2 cows. Post by: Stunna on April 03, 2013, 03:55:08 PM hahaha, my favorite is Greece.
Title: Re: You have 2 cows. Post by: Littleshop on April 03, 2013, 10:25:40 PM A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called a Cowkimona and market it worldwide. They are Radioactive but nobody cares. Title: Re: You have 2 cows. Post by: veteranBtc on April 04, 2013, 10:00:59 AM NAZISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you AN AMERICAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead. These are the best! ;D ;D Title: Re: You have 2 cows. Post by: Elwar on April 06, 2013, 02:23:21 AM Bitcoin:
You have two cows that create milk at 60kmL/day. You mine the milk and hoard it while talking up how great milk is. The price of milk skyrockets and you stockpile more and more. On paper you are the richest farmer in your village. To be continued... ;D Title: Re: You have 2 cows. Post by: myrkul on April 06, 2013, 02:37:43 AM Bitcoin: You have two cows that create milk at 60kmL/day. You mine the milk and hoard it while talking up how great milk is. The price of milk skyrockets and you stockpile more and more. On paper you are the richest farmer in your village. To be continued... ;D 60 kmL? mine milk? :-\ Title: Re: You have 2 cows. Post by: Jobe7 on April 06, 2013, 10:01:23 AM Bitcoin: You have two cows that create milk at 60kmL/day. You mine the milk and hoard it while talking up how great milk is. The price of milk skyrockets and you stockpile more and more. On paper you are the richest farmer in your village. To be continued... ;D 60 kmL? mine milk? :-\ I worry for his cows ;D Title: Re: You have 2 cows. Post by: Franktank on April 06, 2013, 02:19:04 PM Anarchism:
The two cows refuse to be owned by you or anyone. Title: Re: You have 2 cows. Post by: BluesBrother on April 07, 2013, 04:02:20 AM Awesome! Some of them are new to me. Let's not stop the tradition: Enviromentalist You have two cows You kill one to limit methane production You milk the other one for self-use and go work on your novel. Vegan: You have two cows You release both and switch to soy-milk. Enviromentalist vegan: You have two cows. You kill yourself. :o [Spoiler](...Please note that you can limit your cows methane production by giving it natural food instead!)[/Spoiler] Title: Re: You have 2 cows. Post by: Mike Christ on April 07, 2013, 04:03:31 AM Enviromentalist You have two cows You kill one to limit methane production You milk the other one for self-use and go work on your novel. This is hilarious. We need one for PETA. Title: Re: You have 2 cows. Post by: BluesBrother on April 07, 2013, 04:05:36 AM Switch Vegan for PETA 8)
??? Profit!! Title: Re: You have 2 cows. Post by: Ekaros on April 07, 2013, 02:16:34 PM Switch Vegan for PETA 8) ??? Profit!! PETA You have two cows You rally your troops to free cows You free cows. You kill the cows You tell how much good you do for animals. Title: Re: You have 2 cows. Post by: myrkul on April 07, 2013, 02:39:05 PM Switch Vegan for PETA 8) ??? Profit!! PETA You have two cows You rally your troops to free cows You free cows. You kill the cows You tell how much good you do for animals. You have two cows You let the cows go free, they die of mastitis. You tell how much good you do for animals. Title: Re: You have 2 cows. Post by: Littleshop on April 08, 2013, 12:21:04 AM Switch Vegan for PETA 8) ??? Profit!! PETA You have two cows You rally your troops to free cows You free cows. You kill the cows You tell how much good you do for animals. You have two cows You let the cows go free, they die of mastitis. You tell how much good you do for animals. PETA * You have two cows You kill them You cook them You eat them * = People Eating Tasty Animals. Title: Re: You have 2 cows. Post by: ElectricMucus on April 08, 2013, 12:26:12 AM BITCOINSM
You have 2 cows You milk them as long as you can and make babybel cheese bits. Eventually you plan on retiring on the Bits. Title: Re: You have 2 cows. Post by: ThunderSheep on April 08, 2013, 01:00:36 AM Bitcoin: You have two cows that create milk at 60kmL/day. You mine the milk and hoard it while talking up how great milk is. The price of milk skyrockets and you stockpile more and more. On paper you are the richest farmer in your village. To be continued... ;D 60 kmL? mine milk? :-\ I worry for his cows ;D On the farm I grew up on, we just called it 60L of milk. I too, worry for his cows. Title: Re: You have 2 cows. Post by: nimda on April 08, 2013, 02:52:56 AM BITCOINSM BITCOINISMYou have 2 cows You milk them as long as you can and make babybel cheese bits. Eventually you plan on retiring on the Bits. You have 2 cows. Proudhon assures you that you will soon have only 1 cow. Now you have 20 cows. Now you have 200 cows. Now you have 2000 cows. Title: Re: You have 2 cows. Post by: myrkul on April 08, 2013, 03:02:10 AM BITCOINSM BITCOINISMYou have 2 cows You milk them as long as you can and make babybel cheese bits. Eventually you plan on retiring on the Bits. You have 2 cows. Proudhon assures you that you will soon have only 1 cow. Now you have 20 cows. Now you have 200 cows. Now you have 2000 cows. |