You have 2 cows.

[kokjo]

SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk

NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then
throws the milk away

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy
grows.
You sell them and retire on the income

VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by
your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption
for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to
produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why
the cow has dropped dead.

A GREEK CORPORATION
You have two cows. You borrow lots of euros to build barns, milking sheds, hay stores, feed sheds,
dairies, cold stores, abattoir, cheese unit and packing sheds.
You still only have two cows.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three
cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce
twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called a Cowkimona and
market it worldwide.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows,
but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the ** out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive...

[Mike Christ]

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows,
but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

Too funny

[aigeezer]

Nice modern spin on an old joke! I love the VENTURE CAPITALISM

Suggested ism additions: Catholicism, terrorism, and of course libertarianism. Perhaps McCarthyism for the nostalgic.

[dotcom]

VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by
your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption
for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.

[nimda]

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows,
but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

That was unexpected

[Jocky]

Bitcoin: You have two cows, nobody really understand how they work but you'll have to shut down every farm in existance in order to shut that cow down. And if you forget their names, they'll seize to exist forever.

[myrkul]

Bitcoin: You have two cows, nobody really understand how they work but you'll have to shut down every farm in existance in order to shut that cow down. And if you forget their names, they'll seize to exist forever.

Nice!

Cyprus:
You have two cows.
The government takes your cows.
When you ask where the cows are, you are told they were slaughtered.
In return, they give you a hamburger.

[kokjo]

Bitcoin: You have two cows, nobody really understand how they work but you'll have to shut down every farm in existance in order to shut that cow down. And if you forget their names, they'll seize to exist forever.

Nice!

Cyprus:
You have two cows.
The government takes your cows.
When you ask where the cows are, you are told they were slaughtered.
In return, they give you a hamburger with horse.

fixed!

[Ekaros]

You have 2 cows
Your neighbor comes kills you and takes your cows
You are dead

Hmm, now what is this?

[myrkul]

You have 2 cows
Your neighbor comes kills you and takes your cows
You are dead

Hmm, now what is this?

A crime.

[Garr255]

Haha thanks for this thread

[zif33rs]

Thanks for the laugh kokjo...good stuff.

[laura2010]

Hahah yeah that's true, especially in italy 

[Britainacoin]

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the ** out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy.

But it was just democracy-tipped cruise missiles the US fired at the Iraqi population, wasnt it?

It surely can't be the case that the US would indiscriminately bomb a bustling capital city. Any videos of Baghdad being bombarded are clearly just propaganda. 

[Stunna]

hahaha, my favorite is Greece.

[Littleshop]

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce
twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called a Cowkimona and
market it worldwide.
They are Radioactive but nobody cares.

[veteranBtc]

NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you


AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to
produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why
the cow has dropped dead.

These are the best! 

[Elwar]

Bitcoin:
You have two cows that create milk at 60kmL/day.
You mine the milk and hoard it while talking up how great milk is.
The price of milk skyrockets and you stockpile more and more.
On paper you are the richest farmer in your village.


To be continued...

 

[myrkul]

Bitcoin:
You have two cows that create milk at 60kmL/day.
You mine the milk and hoard it while talking up how great milk is.
The price of milk skyrockets and you stockpile more and more.
On paper you are the richest farmer in your village.


To be continued...

 

60 kmL?
mine milk?
 

[Jobe7]

Bitcoin:
You have two cows that create milk at 60kmL/day.
You mine the milk and hoard it while talking up how great milk is.
The price of milk skyrockets and you stockpile more and more.
On paper you are the richest farmer in your village.


To be continued...

 

60 kmL?
mine milk?
 

I worry for his cows