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Oftentimes most single men from not so much a well to do background like myself and others that I have come across are constantly in the dilemma of wanting to be in a relationship for some reasons and not wanting to be in a relationship for some other reasons. Some say they are avoiding relationships because they cannot handle the financial burdens that come along with it, while others say they are waiting for a relationship that will be symbiotic (beneficial) to them. I hold no personal opinions about their respective choices. I however find myself asking the question-
“Would you term the conscious selection of who you want to be in a romantic relationship with on the basis of the other benefits apart from the usual sex which you get as “Gold digging “?

Gold digging refers to a person who wants to gain benefit from a relationship without having neither personal nor romantic relationship to the partner. In other words, they used their body/face as an investment to gain what they want, and want they need without emotional attachment. Its just like giving their partners a dildo as others may say.

Ergo, my answer to your question is no. Having conscious selection of what you have in a relationship aside from you being romantically and emotionally attach to the other person is pretty normal. Every person have this standards that they don't tell anybody but they do have personally. It's just that the feeling of being with the other person, trample all other aspect of your standards, that's why the quote "LOVE IS BLIND" begun. So yeah, you can be selective as long as you want, but there would be a time that this selections would be disregarded, as long as you find the person that is meant for you.

Generally speaking girls won't accept someone who is financially in bad situation and also men also concerned about extra burdens and what we can do after getting in to relationship because they get more responsibility. Perfect relationship are mever exist, so make money then you have more choice to choice to choose from.

Relationship is stronger than just being together -some case its coping together- there are people in lands far away from there origin/birth place, that gets together/copes together with someone of the other country there are in -not-legal- just to get paper allowing them in-line with laws stay, there are cases that starts off like this and love catches them but if not then there is no relationship -love-
There are difference in relationship
+ sex relationship
+ financial relationship
+ mutual relationship
+ short-term relationship and many more
+ love relationship
But its ok if the two people in any of those relationship knows what type of relationship they are in, but if one is being deceived then its wrong.

I think that it is a good thing that women think like this, they now prefer people that have a stable life. There will never be a perfect relationship because we as an individual does not know what being perfect is and I think we arrive there someday, I hope that I am not alive to see it because I believe perfection is boring. Regarding having a stable we also should take account that we see our partner eye to eye because if you can't stand being together sharing the same space, what is the point of that relationship. Financial stability is 50% of the relationship and the rest is being happy with each other. The feelings should be mutual and not unrequited.

Social media brings together reviews of people from different walks of life on education, economics, politics, class discrimination, interests, relationships, etc. The beginning of love is from the mutual passion and attraction of two people. That attraction can be a mixture of mental and physical or even individual when romantic attraction extends to a physical relationship it is in most cases by mutual consent. Lack of emotion and attraction may occur later that too is very normal relationships can even break up.

In our digital time with the ability to do "whatever you want", in the rhythm of "live by your own rules", to be independent both financially and socially - it is very difficult to take a step into the voluntary routine of marriage, - to build relationships with a partner and his family and even more so to take responsibility for having a child. As for me, there is always an alternative - a modern successful union of two - this is not love or passion, it is friendship and mutual respect based on common views and, which is important - on a material and technical basis. She has an apartment, he has a car (or vice versa), they both earn and they have something to talk about over a glass of red, and everything is ok with their parents - you can make an alliance, you can talk about whether it is successful or not at the end of life ... Want and everything will work out.

Yeah I know, this is why I said human being can’t resist love, they can try to resist it for a long time, but they will eventually give in, so give in the demand of getting into relationship, what’s wrong with working together as a team? A lot of thing can goes wrong in a team, when working alone everything is under controlled, another volatile being add into the mix thing become super risky and uncontrollable, yeah emotional human being who can’t resist love. Btw people tend to expect a lot from a relationship, some say relationship can give you happiness, <— they expect happiness from your companionship, when expectation aren’t meet, thing would quickly get nasty, people today are very self entitled, they expect a lot from you, you better have a lot to give in a relationship, make sure to give them a lot of happiness too.

I agree that for girls the financial stability of their partner is important as well as i mens are also concerned about extra burden.
But a sense of humor and the ability to see funny things are also important for me. What could be more terrifying than the prospect of living to your golden wedding, laughing at jokes for 50 years that don't really seem funny to you? My partner should also respect other people's judgments and ways of thinking.

as humans, we were created to depend on each other...
my husband needs me to take care of the housework, while I need my husband as the breadwinner and protector of the family. Don't be afraid to start a relationship with the opposite sex, you will feel that your life is more purposeful and more focused if you are married.

It usually depends on the mindset of the people to make life beautiful the backround will become beautiful if we resolve our relationship through compromise without looking at it financially social status is a sensitive issue that affects not only love but also marriage. Every human being wants to build relationships with people of his equal position or higher position especially girls calculate a little more in this regard these have a negative impact on social life so we need to think positively.

Well, if a person is more concerned on the financial benefits that he/she will get with his/her partner, then I would say yes — that could be gold digging. But if the benefit he/she is thinking of is more on emotional stability, someone who can be a shoulder to cry on, or someone who will support him or her, then that's not gold digging at all. I just hope all of us will find a partner whom we feel safe and secure and not someone who's just there cause he/she is benefitting from us financially.

Girls prefer a boy with more money on his bank account but poor boy loves a girl with perfect physical appearance. Relationship is just an act to reach our goals in the short way without much efforts.

You're generalizing. There are as many types of women as there are types of men.
Most women want strong men to accompany them, men who can take care of them, protect them, stay calm in dangerous situations, but not all demand men to be rich and pay for everything. They see it as an additional quality, but not a must.
None of my friends are rich and they have women. It's funny but I know 2 guys that are doing pretty good financially and both of them are struggling with women. They both look good and are in their 30s, drive nice cars, but women just don't stick with them.

Look at that amount of denial, yeah financial is not important, yeah emotion is more important, then responsibilities is more important, then security is more important. Frankly enough, just flex a little brain muscle, you quickly discover without money, you can’t provide anything, without money without security, without money without responsiblility, without money without happiness, without money your emotion also hitting rock bottom, without money confident also down to the bottom. So money is not important? BTW if you have no money and not willing to work for it, try to be a scammer, scam the feeling just like what most PUA did, they can even pretending to be rich to impress Chinese girl, manipulating vulnerable women into falling into believing their deceiving promise, in a relationship, following the rules and be decent human being and please everybody every demand you will eventually get into big trouble because self entitlement is reality, everybody is extremely self entitled, no exceptions, good luck on getting a true love Disney land ending or white knights white princess ending.

It depends to the person, we all have different standards in life and it's just that financial capability is always a must for us to survive, cause we are in the world where money is always needed. But there are also people who stick with a person even though he/she doesn't have the financial stability. Maybe because they are yearning for something that isn't about money, and they found it in that specific person. It depends to the person and nothing is wrong between the two.

Those two guys were bit unlucky in my opinion but for sure they will get lot of proposals if they expose themselves to be rich outside and in appealing way.

Do you think a girl will accept someone who is financially not stable? Like someone who is homeless but strong enough to resist her from anything?

No, is my answer.

Relationship shouldn't depend on benefits from each other or whatever, it should base on love and trust.

Relatives r to fuck up your life and mental peace.

Not at all times, you just have significantly, unhealthy relationship with your relative if you think this so. I have a pretty supportive relatives, while some aren't that much, that's why I choose and pick among those relatives whom I want to bond with whenever we're in gathering.

In relation with the topic, opened up by the author, you are the one in control if you want someone in your family/ relatives to know what is happening in your relationship. It is in your control, what they can see and what they cannot. Given that you can't control they're assumptions on what's happening about it, it is you again, who can justify if this were real or not. You don't need to explain why their assumptions is right or wrong. A simple YES or NO is enough.

I think that there are a lot of aspects to consider before engaging in a relationship the most important one is to choose your partner wisely by choosing someone with similar ideologies and same way of thinking and similar objectifs to avoid future problems and the second one is to be in a good financial situation.

In a typical small town indian society relatives interfere in every personal matter of people, from education to job, from marriage to number of children. And if you are a female, they are always on your head to judge your actions, from way of laughing to attitude.. Life is a joke in this society  :'(

i think relationships are stupid, how could women leave men because they have financial problems when your friends would do all they can to help you out ?! and especially marriage, a lot of men gave so much importance to women who doesn't deserve shit, and i agree with what Bill Burr once said "women are so overrated"

There are many happy relationships in this world who are strong, and comfortable through rich and poor. Though these relationships experiences ups and downs. You can assure that they are happy for what they are, and willing to help and support one another. Concluding that all woman are like that because some just did, is a typical stereotyping sht. The world is vast and there are many more women who are meant for one another. Don't lose hope in relationship my guy  ;D

The problem is that men and woman think so differently about relationships and marriage. For woman financial security is much more important. So when having a new relationship woman look for a provider, someone to have a family with. While men just go for looks mainly.

I basically believe in relationships their is no formula because everyone has their own individual differences and insecurities. What keeps relationships isn’t love it’s understanding.

I was hoping that the relationship in discussion was going to be about the relationship that exists between people in the society far from the regular romantically involved relationship but as that tends to be the bone of contention, I'll say, it's just human behavior in display between both genders and strives in various conditions.

1. There are relationships that strives when one of the partner is in hardship and the finance is one sided. Once the other party seems to acquire wealth, it becomes an issue as pride and lack of trust finds its way into the relationship.

2. Some relationships don't do do well when the finance is one sided as the productive partner fills burdened by the other party whom is not productive. A typical parasitic kind of relationship but then, love is supposed to override all and that is hardly the case.

3. There are other relationships that tend to strive based on sex. The urge for sex is all that drives this sort of relationship and it very much overrides other odds so long as, the both partners are sexually available for themselves at all times.

I feel like the number of singles is rising each year. In my country the TV program is full of advertising for dating companies. In one  5 minute TV break there are atleast 3-4 companies which offer dating services. The number of platforms keeps rising. And thus doesn't even include companies like tinder. So without high demand these companies could never afford paying so much for ads. Its crazy

I'm sorry, but even I live in Africa can see the behavior of women in Europe and America and from what I see most women in Europe and America only want men who have money, even in Africa this trend is becoming common in last years.

If a man is rich, then that man will be wanted by hundreds of famous women or not. if we go on the streets and do research on whether women want rich men or not? you will see that more than 80% of women will not be ashamed to say they want rich men

I think the masculine and feminine need to be together. Men are the gate keepers of relationships and women the gate keepers of sex.

I think that men should be strong and able to LEAD. It's not just about money. Sure women want a man who is financial viable , because they want to be able to take care of their offspring. But you must remember that not all women are going to be compatible with you , and the ones who aren't compatible that you try to MAKE "COMPATIBLE" will be detrimental to your mental well being. (Try dating a stripper and you'll find they have a LOT OF BAGGAGE and somehow HER Problems will be yours.

Most women are never happy. You can't make a woman happy because she lives off her emotions , so 1 minute she may be happy , the next she may be mad. You as a man have to dispel those bad emotions and keep her in the frame that you want her to be in.

The problem in our society is that women now have a host of potential male suitors and with the rise of dating apps , a "5" can find and bang a 9/10 dude and still have lots of options available for them. Allowing women to fuck anyone and everyone will be the downfall of western civilization as women when left unchecked will destroy civilizations. (If you go back in history , many lineages and kingdoms fell because of a woman and a mans lust of want of a woman.) Just like in the bible with adam and eve. The devil couldn't trick Adam but he got to Adam through Eve.

The devil is still present today and still operating to destroy man through eve. At the end of the day , I consider women to be government agencies assets because once you get involved , and lets say you get married , sign the contract etc... she can divorce you and take half of your assets with the state backing her.

Remember gentlemen , she's not yours , it's just your turn. 

There are different circumstances available in the society that your assumptions didn't cover, therefore you may be right for some, but can be always wrong.

Stereotypically, your statements may be right, but not in this time and date.The role of both men and women nowadays can be switched depending on the situation and how they lead. Woman empowerment are a thing in this generation, although I myself believed that equality can never be achieved as per difference in views and opinions on how the roles of men and women act. I still think that circumstance matter per relationships.

That last quote is somewhere and something deep. Just remember always that you must treat your spouse the same way you treat them when you were dating, as this is the you who he/she believed in.

Remember the most valuable asset that we have is time. Make the best of it. Also only date from 18-25. Anything over has too much baggage.


I disagree.  I don't believe that women as a WHOLE (obviously generalizing) should lead because they aren't as capable as men to lead. (Greed / Power is different with men and women of course but women will use it for censorship and evil) (Look up 8 Goddesses Cult)    Sure there are outliers in every group , I just believe that women have the most important role of being MOTHERS to nurture and take care of our next generation to create well adjusted adults who create stuff and help humanity as a whole. (Which in and of itself is a hard task but a fruitful and rewarding one) If they were to be lead astray without a strong leader or a strong father figure , we will have degeneracy and the fall of civilization because women procreated with the wrong people and then the state got involved and destroys the nuclear family. (of course this is over-generalizing but this is leading towards that) Example Rome.

A woman always reserves the right to change her mind. But like women / children /dogs , they will be loved for who they are.

Men on the other hand are the disposable sex. We are only loved by what we provide in this world.

I Only have two things of value when i came into this world. My word. And my balls.  Because no one gives a shit about us.

And i agree that a man should always hold his frame with his woman. If she senses weakness within you , she'll be gone.

So be the best version of yourself. And also a woman should be a compliment to your life! NOT THE FOCUS MEN!

I respect your opinion regarding the matter, but the current situation suggests that you are probably wrong, as I have seen many different independent woman, especially those single moms who have raised their children's at the best they can while providing the same as what men can give. Aside from single moms, I've also seen families run by women who are in no way that is wrong. The children's are well mannered, the authority of father is still there but mother is still higher in many ways.

So just like as I've said, circumstances in this time and date matters in this kind of topic, as we are not living in 1950's anymore.

But I myself, would be part of your vision of being the one who will provide and being the head of the family. It is just that I've seen many things that I can't turn a blind eye.

Single mothers cannot raise men. PERIOD. They require the masculine energy to guide them. The feminine only nurtures them. The children are well mannered to you because they are conditioned on the feminine imperative which is social and expressive. (Which can be viewed as fake such as make up + eye lash extensions + heels etc)  Statistics of single mother households are significantly different for men / women. Women raising women without a father make sluts.

Higher chance of suicide
Higher chance of incarceration rate (There's more)

Obviously there are outliers but at the end of the day , a woman can never raise a man. Only a man can raise a man. We might not be living in the 1950s but those ancient rules still exist today.

Why anyone would want to be tied down to one specific person is beyond me. Women ain't the same as the 1950s. Only reason to be together is to have a nuclear family.

1. Ohhhh no no no no, single women can raise men, example men raised by a single moms are Former US President Barrack Obama, Kevin Durant and Michael Phelps. Addition to this I've known several colleague of mine who I can testify to be gentlemens who are also raised by woman.

You are belittling the ability of woman, disregarding their efforts, wisdom and knowledges. I've respected your former opinion but not on this one.

"Single mothers cannot raise men." you say?, but there are examples of respected gentlemens in different countries that will disprove your statement.

2. Sucide rates, and different kinds of statistics have different factors. For example, for suicide rates in Japan, the main cause of it is not single parents, but the pressure the family gives to the child, and bullying. (Pressure from parents, not just a mother or a father).

Also, if you may, can you give me the study about the statistics you mentioned about the higher chances of suicide, etc. or you are just making that up?

In conclusion, women can raise a man. PERIOD!.

^^^ You really need to go see the shrink. That way you will feel good about the money you lose when you pay him/her.

8)

1. You are pointing at outliers. I'm saying that a lot of people with single family households will have emotional damage. Obama wasn't necessary a nice guy either. You think politicians are good people , then you are deluded.

http://marripedia.org/effects_of_fatherless_families_on_crime_rates
https://www.webmd.com/baby/news/20030123/absent-parent-doubles-child-suicide-risk#1

Single mothers cannot raise men period. They just make more effiminate men.

Relationship is not for the weak you must be financially stable no woman would want to stay with someone who can't add value to them it very difficult now to see a girl who is coming for the love thing believe it or not relationship is expensive thus you might be lucky enough to meet someone who believe in your dream, someone who believe in you, someone who is ready to build with you.

You didn't say some or a lot, you say That "THEY CANNOT RAISE MEN", which is wrong, and a direct insult for those mothers who have raised gentlemen by themselves. You are literally saying "ALL" by that statement.

So what do you think of men? if obama is not included? huh?, nice guy really? is that the definition of men?

Also, the first link corresponds to studies made in 1800's and early 1900's, ergo it is not a valid study in this time and date. While the second link only mentions single parents, without identifying if it is a single father or a mother. In addition to the second link, it is doesn't state anything about "SONS" of a single parent, instead it talks about the "CHILDRENS" which maybe your daughter or son.

"You need a man to teach you how to be a man." - 2pac

I'll simplify it for you. Women raise EFFIMINATE MEN. More feminine than masculine.

Actually, you don't need to simplify anything, when your point is based on a lyrics of a song.

CLEAR EVIDENCES suggests that you're wrong, and I will stick with that. If you can't give a good and unarguable stand, then I might think again. But given your statements, which is clearly off. And your articles which you misinterpreted. I think, you are the one who needs to do the thinking :)

The term relationship itself seems to anchor the both parties on a gainful or beneficial reason. While yours might not be the reason for the other persons attachment to you, its at best that which ever it is, it should be readily available for the both parties else, it only ends in disarray. Your careful search for a partner is the best idea to go about starting a relationship if you ask me, there is nothing wrong with that but, you also can't rule out the fact that, there are many pretenders in our society today, who would only show their true nature when they feel assured.

I think today's generations would never consider dating without the Internet. There are so many different apps and websites out there which offer you pictures, bio and a lot of other information about your potential crush. It made the hole market more efficient,which also means sometimes it becomes more easy to get a new relationship instead of working on your current one.

Nowadays people (either men or women) are already wise when choosing who they want to be with. Of course love is always be the top priority if you're looking for a companion for the rest of your life, but it would be better to have a partner that has a capability to give you a better life or came from a well-off family to secure your future.

I think its not wrong to become choosy or be tagged as a gold digger if that is what you think is best, not only for you but also for the family that you both going to build.

Money is not everything to influence a woman or girl, are you aware that some girls don't accept men because of their money, majority girls I know today like men base the potentially in them and how creative they are,some people got it wrong by generalising everything as money no, irrespective of massive poverty in some certain geographical region, some girls still have a policy that money can't change their decision.

women do form relationships with men who are in financially bad situations
trailer park romances. carers falling in love with their home cared clients

woman can find emotional bonds without money being a concern. but the man has to have a great personality that makes the woman relaxed and comfortable being around.

yep the secret is to have a personality that makes the woman relaxed and happy.
it does not have to involve gifts or presenting yourself as privileged. its just a case of if you can make a woman laugh you are one step closer.

media try to portray that successful relationships are based on consumerism
for instance buying expensive jewellery. celebrating valentines at top restaurants
all of that in the real world is BS

if both people have to put on an act/presentation. then they are not going to feel comfortable/relaxed to share intimate insecurities with. thus not really life partner material.

if your spending 60 hours a week working, hoping the extra income can afford you luxuries. like jewellery that is valued at 30% of your salary. though it might impress her that day.. the other 364 days she is miserable because your never home.

its better to work only 40hours and spend that extra 4 hours a day forming strong daily relationships. rather than trying to 'buy' her happiness, via the loneliness to afford it.

..
best relationship experiences i have had are not evening suit/dress and posh restaurants.. but wearing sweats and eating pizza on a sofa. learning each others ticklish spots and what types of jokes each other like. mean more then value of jewellery

so forget luxuries. instead take the time to get to know the woman and what makes her relax around you to open up to them special insecurities and deep thoughts only found in relationships

Well, it was not always like that. If you are 'looking' for gold digger you will get one. I believe there is people who are with you just because of you, and not because your money.

Obviously we have a relationship with a friend who's a friend a business partner and a lot more, and with that relationship, we can benefit from one another, and it's different if love requires understanding between the two of them also keeps trust between the two of them. maybe that's what it takes With our creator because we have faith and it's clear that our beliefs are different, maybe it's a little understanding of what that relationship means and that as human beings we can live by ourselves we need that relationship and how the rest of us maintain and nurture that relationship

You may have misunderstood the term gold digging there mate, butbI somehow get your point. You see, all of us have different likes and dislikes, needs and wants. But one this is for sure, we all long to achieve our goals. And either we compromise with just enough or the best is up to us. The only thing that would matter at the end of the day will be our satisfaction. Be it in life in general or in a romantic relationship.

Gold digger often use face or body to gain luxury from their partner not involving love.
But there will be people that will stay with you nit because of your money.