I'm not sure if I should post a GIF eating popcorn, or ask for a loan to buy some to stay on topic, but I'm just here for the entertainment value I expect from this thread

You're lying. This is the wrong board for trolls.

Total Merit sent (last Friday): 519048. We're still not even close to ranking up enough accounts to make up for the banned spam/plagiarism-accounts.

I agree it would be cool addition, but I really don't have the time to figure it all out now. I (still) have other things on my list that I've wanted to complete for a very long time but never got to.

I'm slow Thanks!

I was asked (by sashapan) to respond here, so I'll share my 2 satoshis:
First: OP (sashapan) uses Google Translate. That probably explains the "weird things" she says. I've seen evidence of being lost in translation before.
Second: I believe OP has good intentions, and I think the attacks are a bit harsh. Then again, that's part of the freedoms this forum offers so OP will just have to deal with that.

I agree with the first 3 points. But not the 4th: OP is selling dresses for Bitcoin, and apart from the fact that I really appreciate people who accept Bitcoin for goods and services (as this is what Bitcoin and this forum need to grow!), it's fairly common to advertise clothes with actual people wearing them. I receive a bunch of brochures advertising clothes (with kids wearing them) almost weekly. I like to think we live in a world in which pictures of kids are not instantly abused by pedophiles.

Even though this is the internet and anyone can claim to be a woman, I'm old-fashioned narrow-minded sexist enough to believe most men wouldn't hand-make dresses for girls. So OP is most likely a woman, and from the pictures I've seen, she's quite good at making (expensive looking) dresses.
I actually showed them to my daughter a few days back, but she's more into Elsa at the moment.

I think this is a translation problem.

I have no doubt this is meant for self-promotion. And there's nothing wrong with that, but Meta isn't the right place to do so.

I don't consider this forum to be authoritative.
I have no doubt pedophiles can be on any forum, and they can use Bitcoin too. But since this isn't a very likely place to find pictures of children, that won't be the main reason to visit Bitcointalk.

My advice
Move (lower-left) this topic! It doesn't belong in Meta. I don't know where it fits, so that just leaves Off-topic. That board is filled with spammers, so it may be better to just end your contest.

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Unrelated: you should remove the HTML-code from your signature. You should use BBCode there (edit your signature as a post, then Preview, and copy it to your signature).

ViaBTC's free transaction accelerator doesn't accept transactions with less than 10 sat/byte fee. So your claim seems unlikely.

This is the way to go, but it may depend on your wallet whether or not you can spend an unconfirmed transaction already.
If you can: the transaction is 5565 bytes, your new transaction will only add a few bytes. To get it to confirm within a few hours, you'll need to use roughly 0.001 BTC in fees. If you're willing to spend that, you'll also help confirm a couple dozen other withdrawals in the same transaction.

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Considering how much exchanges usually charge for withdrawals, I'm curious why Bitstamp uses such a low fee (0.00015933BTC for 5565 bytes)!

Try removing a new line or reducing the font size, it looks like your signature doesn't fit the space.

As many as you can fit!

There was another topic about this recently, and indeed, you don't need to protect freedom of speech to say kittens are cute. You need freedom of speech to be able to say controversial things.

I'm offended by your wish for censorship. Please stop hurting my feeling by asking this, or I'll cry in my corner!

That's a slippery slope you're proposing!

It's the f*cking internet, there are billions of people out there, and some of them are going to be mean to you. Grow a thicker skin.
What if someone stores something mean about you in the Bitcoin blockchain? Good luck getting anyone to ban it!

Let me quote myself from my Beginners guide:
I don't have to agree to anyone to protect their right to say what they want! There are literally thousands of forums on the internet with rediculously strict (and biased) censorship. Bitcointalk is about freedom, and you can't have freedom if you don't want people to say mean things to you. If you want censorship, pick any other forum. Don't try to change the one forum that offers freedom of speech!

Pure poetry

Based on the current votes, I rank #5. To quote myself:
That can't be right However, I really like the "& daughter's art" part, and if "I" win this, I'd like to request the art badge to be transferable to MehMeh if she ever creates her own account on Bitcointalk.

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Did you make a mistake here theymos? The post numbers are very similar, but I think you meant this one too:
https://bitcointalk.org/index.php?topic=5193860.msg52800357#msg52800357

In that case I deserve a ban too I sometimes mess up my quotes before I correct them.
Mistakes get made, and if someone corrects them and learns from it, I don't think that deserves a ban.

In this case though, and that's something I've seen from many accounts, I think a new rule is needed: copying an article just to promote a website shouldn't be allowed at all!

test2

You are what I consider "a real user". Merit was introduced to stop the massive spam from account farmers, and I think anyone who isn't a spammer shouldn't be restricted by Merit. This forum (and Bitcoin) needs new real users to grow.

Your first posts were bounty spam, but you quickly moved on to better posts. So it's well deserved!

Following theymos' new topic didn't work. It turns out Admin has tricks: while the post/topic was created at 56:06 (MM:SS), my scraper only picked it up at 59:57 (this should have been within a few seconds).
I think theymos might have moved it from a hidden board to a public board, because the next post number was picked up by my scraper at 56:31 (as expected)).
So theymos' post must have been published a few minutes after being created, and by then it was no longer the newest topic, so my scraper assumed it was posted in an existing topic.

Theymos' topic is missing from my list-of-new-topics:

I'm not sure yet how to tackle this without doing additional scraping.
I now check if a topic is one of the 20 newest topics, this should allow for approximately 1 hour of "tricks".

For ban evasion, I usually just report the post and use it as description.
However, you'll need to prove it, and I don't know if a similar name is enough.

test

I've edited your post to what I think it should look like:
Just add [ quote]-tags, just to be sure.