Mine's the most believable though.

All alternate currencies are illegal.

You can take that gox and shove it up your Satoshi.

I think Karplses is too stupid to be Satoshi.  It was more likely a group of people, IMO.

Drug dealers really aren't the people you want to owe money to.  I'd be sweating to if I was that little punk.

Have fun 6 feet under, idiot.

What are the possibilities that the BTC came from Mark's personal wallet(s)?

So I should have to live my life in fear that the government will track me down and arrest me for having Bitcoins?  No thanks.

Cool!  And I don't even need 6ft of paper!

Yep.  I invented an entirely new genre.  The Great Emporer Karpeles commands me!


And requests that you send all your Bitcoins to the address in my sig.

Well this kinda cool.  Four feet is kinda big for my printer though.

LOL.  I'm not a fan of Mark Karpeles, I just know that everybody's stressed right now, and am trying to lighten the mood a little. Boing.

How does Senator Manchin propose we regulate cash?  I mean every transaction is completely anonymous.  I know, let's put a serial number on every bill!  We'll only be able to track them as they come into banks, but it'll be better than nothing.

Every transaction with Bitcoin is documented and free for anyone to be able to see online.  There's even ways to find out which parties made the transaction.  Obviously, the FBI used the Blockchain to track down Silk Road, and not PRISM since it didn't take them 10 plus years to find the guy.  

Show me one American job, Senator,  show me on American job lost over Mt Gox, a Japanese exchange!!!  Quit fearing what you don't understand and start bringing more jobs to America and West Virginia like you were elected to do!

The following events took place a couple days ago in Tokyo, Japan

“At last!”  I screamed with relief.  “After years of imprisonment by the evil wizard Karpeles, I’ve escaped from his clutches to have found the ultimate weapon to defeat him and save the people of Mt Gox.  Yes, Emperor Karpeles, I HAZ THE BITCOIN!”

“You may have found the Bitcoin, but you are but a fool, young rebel.”  said a voice from behind.  “No mortal can defeat me.”

“Emperor Karpeles!” I announced as I turned around.  “Today history shall be written.  Today, I have acquired the power of the Great One, the very essence of the Great Wizard Lord Satoshi forged into this single coin.  Today, YOU DIE!” 

“And just how well does your Lord Satoshi handle this!.”  Karpeles detached his jaw like a snake, and sent a huge fire ball directly towards me.  I lifted the coin to cover my face and a beautiful blue light came from it, instantly turning the fire into nothing but smoke.

“Surrender to me, Karpeles, and I shall have mercy upon you when the people declare me their King.” I said

“I would rather die!”  Karpeles hurled his staff above his head and twirled it as fireballs shot out of both ends.  I ran in as random of a pattern that I could make up the mountain, ducking and dodging falling rocks as Karpeles kept knocking them down making the entire mountain tremble in a terrible earthquake.  We reached the peak of Mt Gox, and there was no where left for me to run.  I stopped and looked over the ledge of a cliff, carefully pondering my next move.

“This is it, Vitamin!  Now you die!”

“No.”  I said, finally realizing the purpose of the Numerical Prophecy.  “You know not fully the power of Satoshi.”  I held the Bitcoin over my head and bellowed, “7, 4, 4, 4,  0, 8!”  and from my right wrist sprouted a long unbreakable metal chain that I threw to grab Karpeles, and turned my self around so I suspended him in midair far over the ledge of the cliff.

“No…it can’t be…the Blockchain!” Said Karpeles in a stunned panic.  “It was supposed to be a myth!  Well, if I am to go down, I’m taking you with me!”  Karpeles once again detached his jaw and hurled a raging fire ball at me.  I dodged it in time, but the force of the collision caused the whole cliff to collapse sending both me and him down the mountain in an avalanche of rock.

As the smoke from the avalanche cleared the people of the village below Mt Gox stood in awe as I, Vitamin, emerged unscathed from the rumble.  I had wrapped myself in the Blockchain as the cliff was crumbling and rode the avalanche the way down.  The contorted hand of the Wizard Karpeles stuck up through the rock, still and lifeless.  The people rejoiced at their liberation, and made me their King.  I ruled for many years, bringing peace and freedom to the kingdom through the Bitcoin and the Blockchain.


“Cool story, bro.”  Mark said as I told the ending of the role playing game I had just won.  “You totally kicked my ass with the Bitcoin and the Blockchain.”  He swayed left and right ever so slightly sitting on his bouncy blue ball.  I loved these things.  That’s why I was sitting on one too.

“Yeah.”  I said.  “But I still don't get why I needed my laptop, and that software from the internet, and then I had to hack into this Mt Gox place of yours.  I mean the hacking was kinda boring and not very magical don't ya think?”

“Whatever.  I need that software now.”

“Oh right.  Because in the sequel you steal the Bitcoin and I need some sort of book or something to beat you.  What did you call it again?”

“The Whitepaper, BUT I GET THE BITCOINS.  Coin.  I get the Bitcoin.  Singular.  Uno.  Un.”

“K.”  I said not sure what caused the outburst.  Mark bounced his way over to my laptop so he could move the software on a thumb drive of his.  Boing, boing, boing, boing.

While at my laptop, Mark took a final sip of his Venti latte from Starbucks and after looking at it to confirm its emptiness, tossed it behind him on my floor, not making any effort for the trashcan.  “Oh.” I said.  “Sorry there’s not a trashcan over there.   I’ll clean it up.”  Boing, boing, boing, boing.  I picked it up.  Boing, boing, boing, boing.  I dropped the cup in and turned to face Mark.  Boing.

“Ya know, Mark.  I had fun today, and am looking forward to doing this again with you, but next time could you please be more considerate of my environment?  I live here and I don't like trash on the floor.   

Mark pulled the USB stick out of my laptop and turned to face me.  Boing.

“Fuck you, I do what I want.”  He left for the door.  Boing, boing, boing, boing.  Asshole.  Whatever, I’ll check my phone and see what’s going on in the real world.  Hmmm, “Breaking News: Mt Gox shutdown due to hack.”  Huh?  That’s a real place?  Let’s click on this……….Bitcoins are currency, what?………Hold up now, 744, 408 Bitcoins were stolen from the Mt Gox website…7, 4, 4, 4, 0, 8 wasn’t that the Numerical Prophecy?……OH SHIT!!! How much money did I steal?  HOLY SHITBALLS IN A SCROTUM I’M NOT GOING DOWN FOR THIS!!!  YOU’RE DEAD MARK, I’M COMING TO GET YOU, YOU SON OF A BITCH!!!!  Boing, boing, boing, boing.

FIN

 

Is this a joke?

Thank you all for your help!  There is a "wallet.dat" in the Bitcoin folder, which I am certain was created by QT.  However, I get an error message when I try to use it.  It says, "com.google.bitcoin.store.UnreadableWalletException Could not read wallet"

Hello everyone.  I'm new to Bitcoin, having just made my first purchase of 0.1 BTC a couple days ago.  I tried to withdraw it from Coinbase (yes, I knew enough to not invest in Mt Gox), and seem to be having difficulty.

I'm pretty sure the problem is on my end with my wallet.  Before ordering my 0.1 BTC I decided to download the Bitcoin-QT wallet.  I didn't know how big of a file the ledger actually is, and by the time it ate up 75% percent of my data plan I decided it wasn't worth it.  Unfortunately, I ordered my transfer while it was still downloading the ledger which is why I'm guessing it's never come in.

I've since downloaded the MultiBit wallet, transferred some coins from Coinbase to it, and am quite happy with it.  Is there anyway I can get my 0.1 BTC out of cyberspace and into my MultiBit wallet?  The most obvious way to just let Bitcoin-QT finish downloading the ledger, but for obvious reasons I don't want to do that.  Coinbase has already issued me the receipt of the withdraw in my account on their site with several clickable links and a couple of downloadable files that I'm not sure if there's anything I can do with.  Is there anything I can do except just let Bitcoin-Q finish downloading?  Thank you in advance for helping a noob.