A funny thing: I was just musing on how dealing with this matter has been a thankless task...
Thank you all. Thank you to those who have helped feed 4,920 meals over the years. Thank you to those who have helped me personally. And thank you nullius, I hope you do well in your future endeavors.
...and then, the first one to thank me was Dabs.
Dabs, as you understand, I was extremely reluctant to come forward with this. I sat on it for two and a half years. When other things came to my attention, indicating to me that it was not a one-off indiscretion, I procrastinated for weeks before
forcing myself to make a thread about it. Till now, the only thanks I got was some vicious insults and libel from others.
So—
you’re welcome, and thanks for the well-wishes.
I have never asked anyone to beg for me. I'd do it myself. Privately or personally. I would also not do it publicly, except maybe this thread since I started it. If they did so, that was on them, I did not ask them to do it. Maybe they did because they thought they would be helping me or something? Why would someone else have to do it for me if I never asked them to? Was it to shame me or was it a sincere effort to spread the word?
That is an important clarification from you. I will update the other thread accordingly, when I make some necessary replies there later—
q.v. (Prioritizing, setting this first.)
Some of your other statements may be relevant there, insofar as they may necessitate changes or questions.
The donation addresses are kept separate and any sent will remain there untouched until I find the time to do this again; or refunded. The respective organizations are still operating as far as I am aware. I do think that this thread will just be here, for history.
A question: Is this still active? You are currently linking to it in your signature. I would
not have bumped this thread, if you were not actively promoting it in your signature. Also, goldkingcoiner also said in WO that you are running charity for children—speaking in present tense, not past; he even essentially accused D.W. of misrepresenting your charitable work as “begging” on your own behalf. At this point, I wouldn’t rely on what he said, but rather, see what you have to say about it.
I understand that Personal is not Private, but I would have preferred that amongst gentlemen this be honored and your discretion is appreciated.
Dabs, as you are aware, we had no prior contact before the PM exchange fully disclosed in the other thread. There is no reasonable expectation of privacy for essentially hitting up a total stranger for money. That is against forum rules; why would you expect my discretion?
I did immediately forward it to another high-trust user, someone who is still active, just to get a gut-check opinion; the response was very negative towards your PM. The sender of that response has a reasonable expectation of privacy.
I am quite strict about a gentleman’s code for good-faith correspondents. When someone has a reasonable expectation of privacy with me, I tend to meet and exceed that expectation to an unreasonable degree.
On the flipside, I have
a long-running thread to publish hate mail; and I advise the publication of
attempts to draw innocent people into illegal activity. Oh, and I will publish begs. Usually, I should be more prompt about it than I was when the sender’s name is “Dabs”.
Being his kababayan(we from the same country from which he served as a man in uniform iirc), and someone whom he helped in the past(not financially) but when I get stuck with some things I don't understand here in the forum specifically in our local board, he is my number 1 go-to guy.
I am sympathetic to what you say. As I said above, I was very reluctant to come forward with this.
In other threads, you noticed my attachment to Lauda. From what you say here, I think you will understand this: When I first came into contact with Lauda, I was down all the way in life. Through misfortunes that were not my fault, I had become impoverished, homeless... I never wanted to disclose that publicly; but I mentioned my bout of homelessness in PM to Dabs in 2020, now published in the other thread. I also know hunger and hardship.
At a time when my life was broken, Lauda helped me put it back together. I needed that. She was like a guardian angel to me. But I am pretty sure that
if I had ever asked her to give me money, she would have probably issued me negative trust feedback, and cut all contact. It was not that kind of help! She knew that I am life-and-death strict about money. I observe that she had me green-trusted and trust-included at a time when she knew that I was poor.
Thus, I definitely appreciate the value of it when people help others. In fairness, I am glad you spoke up about your experience with Dabs; I don’t know him personally, either way. As you understand also,
I did not ask to be solicited for money; and I cannot in conscience simply ignore what seems to have been a repeated event, just because the user’s name is “Dabs” and he is highly trusted. To the contrary, his high-trust position places on him a greater responsibility.