Amazing business opportunity, 500% ROI DAILY! Act now!!!

[organofcorti]

Just sent you 100 btc.

[1715526214]

1715526214

[1715526214]

1715526214

[1715526214]

1715526214

[1715526214]

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[1715526214]

1715526214

[evolve]

Sorry organofcorti, I did not receive your 100btc, (which is unfortunate, as you could be elbow deep in dirty hobos by now.) Please redeposit so you can take your place in my Extreme Moneymaking Opportunity ^tm.


For everyone else, we have already gotten our first couple of investors!  You too could be one of the lucky few, just send me your money, and watch the btc roll in!

Edit: in light of my Very Serious offer being moved to "off topic", I am offering double interest rates for my investors for the next 86400 seconds! Act now!

[AndrewBUD]

Ahhhhhhhhhhh damn

[swissmate]

I offer a non smelly hobo.

Any value?

[AndrewBUD]

so just a normal person? that must be illegal

[freeAgent]

I gave evolve 1,000 BTC and now he says my account has 5,010 BTC.  I'm rich!  Everyone needs to get in on this now before evolve gets tired of making ridiculous sums of money and closes the fund!

[MoneyIsDebt]

The current exchange rate is 50.73598 btc to each masterbating hobo. Hobos that pleasure themselves, as you know, pull a premium on the open commodities market, so my investors are getting a pretty sweet deal.

I'm warning you guys, this is a classic ponzi. He's just using one hobo to pleasure the next hobo and so on.

[freeAgent]

The current exchange rate is 50.73598 btc to each masterbating hobo. Hobos that pleasure themselves, as you know, pull a premium on the open commodities market, so my investors are getting a pretty sweet deal.

I'm warning you guys, this is a classic ponzi. He's just using one hobo to pleasure the next hobo and so on.

You shouldn't criticize what you don't understand.  evolve has a secret strategy involving Cheetos and Steam games...and gummy bears.  It's all worth it for that sweet 501% deal I got.

[AndrewBUD]

any reefer involved? seems like it belongs in the mix

[evolve]

Apparently, there are still a ton of shills savvy investors on this forum, so lets necro this thread and keep making me rich!

Evolve savings and trust is open for business!! (Now with 50% less hobos)

[ErebusBat]

Apparently, there are still a ton of shills savy investors on this forum, so lets necro this thread and keep making me rich!

Evolve savings and trust is open for business!! (Now with 50% less hobos)

Less hobos?!?!?  It must be a scam!

[organofcorti]

I need more hobos for my tax shelter / homeless shelter. Can I get a bulk rate?

[evolve]

Less hobos?!?!?  It must be a scam!

I need more hobos for my tax shelter / homeless shelter. Can I get a bulk rate?

Our stock of hobos had to be executed liquidated to make room for our newest offering (but dont worry, we are passing the massive loss savings on to you, our savvy investors!




And now for our newest offering:  Tapdancing Monkey Futures!

Thats right, you can now purchase the right to maybe one day own Tapdancing Monkeys^TM!!! *


"Holy fucking shit is that monkey tapdancing ?" they'll ask,

and you'll just reply,

"Thats right, grandma....and you can have one too, just open an account with Evolve Savings and Trust!!!"


That could be you. Also, you'd probably have a kick ass motorcyle. And a rocketship.






Buy a futures contract today for 5 btc. Sweet.








*not guaranteed to tapdance, monkeys may be replaced with rabid turtle

[adamstgBit]

holy shit 500%

i just read the title

i dont want to brother reading the details

i have 100% faith in your ability to make me rich

please just take my bitcoins!

can i send you all my money as well?

[evolve]

Will you take an invitation code from GPUMAX in trade if I add a lifetime subscription to TYGRR Beat magazine. Next month’s issue has dirty hobos jacking on a boat over the lips of a goat.  

holy shit 500%

i just read the title

i dont want to brother reading the details

i have 100% faith in your ability to make me rich

please just take my bitcoins!

can i send you all my money as well?

That depends, are you guys ready for The Opportunity of a Lifetime?

As savvy investors, I know you recognize a good opportunity when you see one, so I don't need to sell you. Just send me the private key and address of the wallet that contains all of your bitcoins (smart investors never use multiple wallets) and I will send you 1 vial filled with fairy dust and angel kisses.*

Just don't let my other investors catch wind of this, this offer is for you two only.






_{*may resemble potting soil}

[organofcorti]

Our stock of hobos had to be executed liquidated to make room for our newest offering (but dont worry, we are passing the massive loss savings on to you, our savvy investors!

And now for our newest offering:  Tapdancing Monkey Futures!

Thats right, you can now purchase the right to maybe one day own Tapdancing Monkeys^TM!!!  *

How the hell am I supposed to get a tax break with dancing monkeys?! You know full well they attract a capital gains tax.

[evolve]

Lucky you! For a low, low* fee you can store them in one of our offshore accounts in the Cayman Islands!**









*_high
**_{where they will be stolen}

[evolve]

It seems pirate is being investigated by the SEC (as I'm sure most of the other "banks" on the forum are). My clients will be happy to know that we are now SEC compliant!

Probably.


I'm going to jail, aren't I ?