Why do you disagree? Is there any other way to do it?
There is nobody "in charge" that can make a decision for everybody. There isn't any kind of "vote" that would satisfy everybody.
Bitcoin requires consensus, and in this situation consensus is impossible. The only option remaining is for there to be multiple separate "consensus" each with their own fork of the blockchain. Then some measure of chaos begins while the competing ideas play out in the real world and we see what happens.
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As far as I can remember from that video that I've seen, it feel like he's trying to 'force' it. I just don't think that jumping onto XT was the right move, and it might have been planned for a long time. If the consensus is reached for XT, Mike Hearn will be in control of the development on github, right?
I'm not sure who currently in control of QT. As far as I know some commits that Gavin has proposed were denied and they are implemented in XT (what he refers to 'minor changes').
The real question is what Mike Hearn is trying to do? He wasn't really active with development AFAIK.
There is no way "out of the mess", by its very nature all protocol changing decisions in bitcoin will always be messy. The only thing that can be done is to accept the messy nature of it, provide software that makes clear what is supported, and hold off on activating any forking changes until the system has arrived at near consensus on the matter.
The consensus requirement has always been (and always will be) one of bitcoin's biggest weaknesses. It's a great thing for stability in design (making it nearly impossible for any single entity or group to force their own changes on the majority), but it makes advancement and improvement extremely difficult to accomplish.
So there isn't a really good solution for this. Are you sure that we are going to be reaching consensus this time? From what I can understand, if we don't have reach consensus (90%) for XT they are going to introduce "checkpoint blocks" to ignore the longest chain.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DB9goUDBAR0