Hi guys
I'm very new to bitcoin, I have been doing plenty of reading trying to get my head around it and understand it all properly, I get some of it but there is one thing that I'm struggling to understand...
The main point of me wanting to use bitcoin is to
stay anonymous - That means I don't want any trace whatsoever coming back to me.
What makes you think that bitcoin will keep you anonymous?
How do I get a "bitcoin account"?
How do you get a U.S. dollar bill account for the dollar bills that are in your wallet?
You can either run your own bitcoin wallet software that will allow you complete control over your own bitcoins, or you can turn all your bitcoins over to the control of some third party that you've decided to trust and they can give you an "account" in their system.
I understand they're known as addresses, how do I get one and how do I use it to send/receive funds?
An address and an account are NOT the same thing, just like the U.S. dollar wallet in your back pocket and your U.S. dollar based account at the bank are not the same thing.
If you want to receive funds that you have full control over, then you'll want to run bitcoin wallet software. The wallet software will generate bitcoin addresses that you can use to receive bitcoins and will allow you to create transactions that will send bitcoins.
If you prefer not to have full control over your own bitcoins, then you can get an "account" at a service such as Circle, Coinbase, Localbitcoins, etc. They will allow you to use some of their bitcoin addresses so that when they receive the bitcoins at any of those addresses they will be credited to the account that they have set up in their own database for you.
What is the best way to get myself a bitcoin address and remain anonymous (can't use a wallet that requires ID or anything)
Install bitcoin wallet software. Generate bitcoin addresses.
I have read into paper wallets... Would it be simple enough to create a paper wallet (Offline mode) and use this?
It's simple enough for most people. It all depends on your personal technical abilities.
But how would I receive/send funds?
Paper wallets are great for receiving bitcoins and storing them for a long time. They tend to be rather inconvenient for bitcoins that you intend to spend with any frequency.
TLDR:- Need to remain anonymous, how do I get a "bitcoin account" (wallet?)
Anonymity is nearly impossible with an "account". If you really want to be 100% anonymous, then you'll need to run your own wallet software and you'll want to make sure that it connects to the bitcoin network over some anonymizing service. Furthermore, bitcoin does not guarantee anonymity. It is very easy to leak identifying information such that it can be connected by someone to at least some of your addresses. With enough expertise and care, bitcoin does provide the ability to maintain some level of anonymity, but you'll need to thinnk very carefully about who and what you are trying to hide your activity from and what resources they will have available to identify you. Anonymity is not automatic with bitcoin.
Please feel free to throw out random tips/facts about bitcoin that could benefit a newbie like myself! Aswell as tips on remaining anonymous and untraceable!
My advice?
Think very hard about who and what you are hiding from and what resources they will have to identify you. Think about the fact that you will have to communicate with someone to get them to send you bitcoins, and you may need to communicate with someone to send bitcoins to them. Any information you give to the person you are communicating with (such as an address, phone number, name, email, etc) may unexpectedly share that information with others. While "mixers" may try to obfuscate the transaction trail, advanced forensic accounting software and very powerful computers may be able to unravel the chain of transactions and determine what you sent and where you sent it. It is also possible that the "mixer" that you choose could be a "honeypot" operated by the very people you are trying to hide from.
