Hello, I'm sure lots of you need friends. I offer friendship services for bitcoins. Some of my packages include
"It's totally ok you are giving me money to be your friend, everyone thinks you are really cool I promise."
and the recently popular
"You shouldn't cry so much, its ok I'm here for you*."
*for an additional charge of 2 bitcoinsIn my career as a professional friend I've worked with many people, and even some celebrities!
For .1 btc I will pm you asking about your day!
For point two I will pm you and agree that your parents really don't understand you!
And for one I will tell other people I am your friend!
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Thanks, Friends!