(BWLI Inc.) Barn Wood Labs International

[Phinnaeus Gage]

The name of this thread used to be 123 Elm Street.


I'm toying with the idea of starting an online furniture company, with all products built using reclaimed barn wood. Yes, it's been done before, but if all goes as planned, I'll be the first to exclusively except only Bitcoin as the sole payment option for our one-of-a-kind products.

I'm about to register the domain name, but before I do, I felt it important to ask the community--via a poll--which address I should use. If I opt for the 123 Elm Street address, I will also use a city name that doesn't have an Elm Street, along with using a different zip code that doesn't correspond with the chosen city, but will be fairly nearby. Chances are it shouldn't matter since I'm a trustworthy guy. In fact, I'm so trustworthy, there shouldn't be any problem whatsoever with accepting Bitcoin payments in advance.

The first line I'm planning on building is the Rassah Coffee Table, model number RCT256, similar to the one shown.



The pre-order price will only be $1,299, and if you're ever unhappy with your purchase, you can return it for a full refund, used toward the purchase price of another fine piece of reclaimed barn wood furniture of equal or greater value.

RCT256 Specs:

• 1 large taxidermied wolf.
• 80+ year old barn wood.
• 18" Wide
• 30" Long
• 16" High

I chose to be conservative with the above specs, therefore a many customers may receive the RST256 with 2 medium sized taxidermied wolves, built with reclaimed barn wood older than 100 years old, and measuring 20" X 36" X 18" or larger.

I look forward to seeing the poll results so that I can get the company name registered. Meanwhile, I'm looking at the beginning of the week of Thanksgiving to start shipping out the first orders, but no later than Christmas.

Another product I'll planning on introducing is a reproduction of the following crate, but with a twist. When acting as an end table and plugged in, it will keep your favorite hot beverage at your desirable temperature.



Thanks for taking the poll and here's to hoping that you enjoy this thread.

~Bruno K~

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[Bitcoin Oz]

Ive heard the foundation needs a new conference desk 

[Phinnaeus Gage]

Ive heard the foundation needs a new conference desk 

I was hoping to save this surprise for down the road, but since we have an eager-beaver in our mist, look what I have planned for only $29,899.

[Phinnaeus Gage]

Thanks to all who've voted in the poll. So far it looks like 123 Elm Street is trailing.

Due to recent competition, I had to increase the size of the RCT256 coffee table, but luckily not the price point. Here are the new spec.

RCT256 Specs:

• Mating pair of taxidermied wolves.
• 100+ year old barn wood.
• 22" Wide
• 36" Long
• 17" High

Inspired by a certain member of this forum, one of my 22 employees is currently building a prototype of the following bench. Contact me if you desire to pre-order the BB512.



All those who pre-order will receive this fine rum rack, an $89 value, as an appreciation gift.

[greyhawk]

Phinn, could you design a prototype bench for a hookah bar?

[Phinnaeus Gage]

Damn! Damn! Damn! The competition is getting tougher. I've just updated the specs on the RCT256.

RCT256 Specs:

• Mating pair of REAL wolves.
• 200+ year old barn wood.
• 24" Wide
• 48" Long
• 18" High

Phinn, could you design a prototype bench for a hookah bar?

I'm currently working with a client that desires their hookah lounge to resemble the following image, provided his loans come through.

[greyhawk]

Love the still up on that balcony

[Phinnaeus Gage]

Love the still up on that balcony

Rum, fit for Danking. 

[Richy_T]

I would like to order three of the wolf tables but only on condition that I can also order a custom made table with a scale model of the death star enclosed

[Phinnaeus Gage]

I would like to order three of the wolf tables but only on condition that I can also order a custom made table with a scale model of the death star enclosed

Luckily for me, I'm blessed with a fabulous team of 21 young men and women, and one I'm-not-sure-what-he/she-is. They quickly designed what you requested with an added bonus--it's disguised as a coffee cup holder.

[Isokivi]

Interesting merchandice, gl with the venture : )

[Phinnaeus Gage]

UPDATE

To keep up with the competition, we at BarnWoodLabsInternational (BWLI) now provide a DOUBLE LIFETIME GUARANTEE. That's right. Every piece of furniture pre-ordered can now be replaced for free in your second life, whether you were the original purchaser or not.

Also, I didn't have time to put this in our recent newsletter, but soon we will be incorporating in Wyoming under the names of one guy from Costa Rica with a checkered past, and a little know French furniture designer whose claim to fame is designing furniture for elevators. (pause--give me a sec--I'm laughing my ass off while typing this shit)

<back>

Currently, we're seeking a PR guy preferably from the Midwest with a background in CommunityBoosting.

All products will go through a 12 day endurance test in a RL hostile home environment prior to shipping.

To produce our furniture line quicker, thus decreasing the wait time for all pre-orders, we are taking delivery of the following.

[Al the Alpaca]

Dude, I was going to call bullshit about your operation, but before I did, and living just down the road a piece, I opted to first take a look-see, and lo and behold, a mighty fine setup you have there, if I may say so myself.



I spoke personally with Bruno's foreman, Sonny K, and even petted his dog Skype. More images are forthcoming, for it was getting dark outside due to this one cloud.

Regards

Al

[Al the Alpaca]

Love the still up on that balcony

Why don't you take your balcony bologna elsewhere?

Regards

Al

[Phinnaeus Gage]

Love the still up on that balcony

Why don't you take your balcony bologna elsewhere?

Regards

Al

Hey, Al, you're the type of guy I've been looking for to do the PR for BWLI. Think you're up to it? I'll even give you a title--BWLI_Al.

~Bruno~

[Al the Alpaca]

Love the still up on that balcony

Why don't you take your balcony bologna elsewhere?

Regards

Al

Hey, Al, you're type of guy I've been looking for to do the PR for BWLI. Think you're up to it? I'll even give you a title--BWLI_Al.

~Bruno~

Sounds great! This way it'll free you up to conduct the engineering side of the operation, and I handle all the pre-orders issues that may arise on the forum.

Regards

BWLI_Al

[Phinnaeus Gage]

Sounds great! This way it'll free you up to conduct the engineering side of the operation, and I handle all the pre-orders issues that may arise on the forum.

Actually, a guy named Nasser is the lead engineer, Sonny is the foreman with his dog, Skype, and now you, Al, our PR guy.

Meet the rest of the gang.


Becky, in charge of assembling.



Brothers, Darryl and Darryl, in charge of machine maintenance.



Russuh, in accounting.



And a few of our loyal Mexicans tradesmen.



Welcome aboard, Al.

~Bruno~

[Al the Alpaca]

After a good night's sleep on a fresh bed of straw, I'm here to report that BWLI Inc. will be listing its IPO on the Global Barn Wood Exchange (GLBWE). Dr. Nefnef, a Chinese veterarian, who operates the exchange, will be handling the IPO, as well as all the bitcoins deposited to purchase the 1M shares of BWLI Inc.

Meanwhile, back on the production line, I present to you our new creation--a pie safe.



Regards

BWLI_Al

[Richy_T]

After a good night's sleep on a fresh bed of straw, I'm here to report that BWLI Inc. will be listing its IPO on the Global Barn Wood Exchange (GLBWE). Dr. Nefnef, a Chinese veterarian, who operates the exchange, will be handling the IPO, as well as all the bitcoins deposited to purchase the 1M shares of BWLI Inc.

Meanwhile, back on the production line, I present to you our new creation--a pie safe.



Regards

BWLI_Al

Your pi safe is missing 0.14159 of a shelf.

[Al the Alpaca]

After a good night's sleep on a fresh bed of straw, I'm here to report that BWLI Inc. will be listing its IPO on the Global Barn Wood Exchange (GLBWE). Dr. Nefnef, a Chinese veterarian, who operates the exchange, will be handling the IPO, as well as all the bitcoins deposited to purchase the 1M shares of BWLI Inc.

Meanwhile, back on the production line, I present to you our new creation--a pie safe.



Regards

BWLI_Al

Your pi safe is missing 0.14159 of a shelf.

Look here, fuckturd! The fine company I now represent never said ANYWHERE that the shelves will be full shelves. What I don't understand is why you didn't praise us for having three shelves when our closest competition only has two. And we make our shelves in house, whereas theirs is probably farmed out to some outfit in Costa Rica, let's say.

That said, we hired a new girl, Sylvia Boots (below), to handle the shelving issue you were so kind to bring to our attention, therefore guit bothering us, for each time we come here to address concerns from you fuckturds, it takes away time to get all our pre-orders out in time.

BWLI_Al