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Author Topic: Exactly 1 handful, premium organic free reign (grass fed?) majestic Shih-tzu fur  (Read 1792 times)
Chris! (OP)
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January 19, 2016, 05:04:29 PM
Last edit: February 07, 2016, 01:02:55 AM by Chris!
 #1

I know what you're thinking.

"Why didn't I think of this?!"

Well it's because you don't have a beautiful mind like I do.

Anywho, I have for sale exactly 1 handful of vanilla white, premium grade[1] organic, free reign, hypoallergenic, majestic shih-tzu fur[2].

She's a real beaut folks. Just have a look at her.


"How much is that doggie in the window?"





"She's not for sale... But her fur is! Only BTC0.01 (shipped) per handful!"




Of course I know you've probably already thought of thousands of uses for this wonderful fur but here are a few ideas from past clients:

  • Save it up and stuff a small pillow with it.
  • Knit a small sweater.
  • Make a yamaka.
  • Make a moustache/beard out of it.
  • Ingest it for magical shih-tzu powers.[3]
  • Make half of a sock (or a pair of soft little baby socks)
  • Wash dishes with it.[4]
  • Start a fire with it. [5]
  • Freak out your dog/cat/animal.
  • Let your kid carry it around as a pet (much softer than a pet rock).

...and many, BTC more uses. Let me know if you think of anything else you could do with your premium organic free reign (grass fed?) majestic Shih-tzu fur.

**Terms of sale. Please read**

1. You can not clone my dog. I cannot be too serious about this. Absolutely no cloning. If I find out you cloned my dog I legally own it, will take it and cuddle it and love it for the rest of it's life.

2. You send BTC first or we use escrow. I wasn't born yesterday. I'm not sending out free shih-tzu fur here.

3. No re-selling the fur. I'm selling this stuff very cheap. Believe me, I know. Don't go flipping it on me trying to make a profit. If you weave the fur into a little vest for a mouse or something that's fine but no selling the raw material.



[1] I think. I'm no shih-tzu fur grader. Those guys make the big bucks.

[2] May contain matted fur. Guaranteed not to contain poo chucks. (No fur from the rear end... Unless you want it in which case it's 2x the price.)

[3] Ingesting is not recommended. Magical shih-tzu powers not guaranteed.

[4] You've never had a scouring pad this soft. Guaranteed.

[5] Absolutely no uploading a video to YouTube, sending it to me demanding a ransom so you won't burn it. I already suggested you do it so why would I pay you? Also do not inhale the smoke. It's fur for crying out loud!

About the shih-tzu:

She's a 3-year old 11 pound shih-tzu with a big ol' under bite. As far as shih-tzus go, the bigger the under bite the better. She's mostly kibble fed but does enjoy chewing on grass, sticks and pinecones in the backyard. She also chews antlers and marrow bones. She's fixed. No wittle baby shih-tzus for her.

Reply here or send me a PM! Please note that large orders may have to wait a month or so as I only have the 1 shih-tzu. I'm not packing them in cages like you see on those shih-tzu fur farm documentarys. She runs wild whenever she wants.

I ship within Canada. If you live in the US I can ship it there also but I don't know if customs will like it coming across the border. I have sent out 1 order to the US so far, we'll see how that goes Grin Also you pay extra shipping. It's about 0.011 to ship to the USA. Please ask for an up-to-date quote.
hedgy73
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January 19, 2016, 05:33:12 PM
 #2

Ha ha ha that's very funny I like you're sense of humor Cheesy.

Nice to have a laugh on here for a change Smiley.
Chris! (OP)
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January 19, 2016, 05:53:02 PM
 #3

Ha ha ha that's very funny I like you're sense of humor Cheesy.

Nice to have a laugh on here for a change Smiley.

Just let me know how many handfuls you're looking for and I'll get on it right away.

I'm not sure what's so funny... I forgot to put up my joke.

A little girl went to the zoo on the weekend. She seemed upset on Monday when she went back to school so the teacher asked her

"Did you enjoy going to the zoo this past weekend?"

"No. I can't believe it. They only had one dog!! It was a shih-tzu."
hedgy73
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January 19, 2016, 06:07:40 PM
 #4

Ha ha ha that's very funny I like you're sense of humor Cheesy.

Nice to have a laugh on here for a change Smiley.

Just let me know how many handfuls you're looking for and I'll get on it right away.

I'm not sure what's so funny... I forgot to put up my joke.

A little girl went to the zoo on the weekend. She seemed upset on Monday when she went back to school so the teacher asked her

"Did you enjoy going to the zoo this past weekend?"

"No. I can't believe it. They only had one dog!! It was a shih-tzu."

Ha ha very good Grin.

I'm ok for shih-tzu fur at the moment but good luck with your sales Smiley.
BitcoinPenny
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January 22, 2016, 10:32:32 AM
 #5

I'm sooo very tempted...  Grin

Me

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Chris! (OP)
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January 22, 2016, 02:23:19 PM
 #6

I'm sooo very tempted...  Grin

Me

Let me know when you want to place your order. I've got a handful ready to go! It's ultra fresh cut too.
foggyb
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January 23, 2016, 03:31:09 AM
 #7

Cool idea: Don't build a mining farm....build a Shih-tzu ranch.

A man went to the zoo.
All they had to exhibit was a dog. It was a shih tzu.


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Chris! (OP)
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January 23, 2016, 01:48:23 PM
 #8

Cool idea: Don't build a mining farm....build a Shih-tzu ranch.

A man went to the zoo.
All they had to exhibit was a dog. It was a shih tzu.



Some day... I'll have a pack of wild free range shih-tzus running around on the farm. They'll all be completely bald and we'll be rich I tells ya.

How many handfuls are you looking for? 2, 6, 12? Address is in my profile when you're ready.
Ninjahitoko
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January 23, 2016, 04:12:47 PM
 #9

Cool idea: Don't build a mining farm....build a Shih-tzu ranch.

A man went to the zoo.
All they had to exhibit was a dog. It was a shih tzu.



Some day... I'll have a pack of wild free range shih-tzus running around on the farm. They'll all be completely bald and we'll be rich I tells ya.

How many handfuls are you looking for? 2, 6, 12? Address is in my profile when you're ready.

TRUSTED TRADER WITH +12 FEDDBACK REPLIES!
You fucking poor ass dog-abuser.
Ain't nobody gonna buy your shit. LMFAO!
Why the fuck would anyone buy a dogs fur? Were you drunk when you were posting this ad?
You ain't gonna make a dime, so stop spamming the forums. I will leave you negative rep for spamming.
BitcoinPenny
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January 23, 2016, 04:29:35 PM
 #10

I'm sooo very tempted...  Grin

Me

Let me know when you want to place your order. I've got a handful ready to go! It's ultra fresh cut too.

Sure thing! I'll place the order soon, since I'm running low on shih-tzu fur at the moment. (Probably less than 10% left in the jar.)

By the way, this thread reminds me of an old joke I heard twice before about a guy who went to the zoo and only saw a dog. He thought it was a shit zoo. Wink

Regards,
Chris


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Chris! (OP)
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January 23, 2016, 05:19:41 PM
 #11

I'm sooo very tempted...  Grin

Me

Let me know when you want to place your order. I've got a handful ready to go! It's ultra fresh cut too.

Sure thing! I'll place the order soon, since I'm running low on shih-tzu fur at the moment. (Probably less than 10% left in the jar.)

By the way, this thread reminds me of an old joke I heard twice before about a guy who went to the zoo and only saw a dog. He thought it was a shit zoo. Wink

Regards,
Chris


Ha ha ha that's very funny I like you're sense of humor Cheesy.

Nice to have a laugh on here for a change Smiley.

Just let me know how many handfuls you're looking for and I'll get on it right away.

I'm not sure what's so funny... I forgot to put up my joke.

A little girl went to the zoo on the weekend. She seemed upset on Monday when she went back to school so the teacher asked her

"Did you enjoy going to the zoo this past weekend?"

"No. I can't believe it. They only had one dog!! It was a shih-tzu."

I've heard the joke too!

Thanks, I'll be eagerly awaiting your PM for the order!
Chris! (OP)
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January 28, 2016, 12:02:22 AM
 #12

Woohoo my first sale! Some genuine majestic shih-tzu fur will be shipped out tomorrow!

Thanks CJBianco!!

16ewrHpsJ6HfRithjqgmvaF5jyKD52ojDt

Woohoo my first sale!

Payment sent!

(TXID: f8b50baa41831f0d331b306f3f51affc8a75e0150b429706cb94e8c4b4bbd04d)

Please send the package to:

-snip-
USA

Thank you. Wink

Regards,
Chris
Chris! (OP)
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January 30, 2016, 01:37:13 AM
 #13

I'm currently out of stock (thanks CJBianco). Feel free to leave your orders and I'll ship it out once I have more. In the meantime I'll just watch her hair grow... Undecided
Chris! (OP)
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February 02, 2016, 02:05:52 AM
 #14

I have some back in stock! Man this fur just keeps on coming! I had some with 'droppings' on it but my wife threw it out. Sorry guys. She obviously didn't realise how rare it was. If you really need it let me know within 12hrs. Tomorrow is garbage day.

I mean I guess I could go in the backyard... Grab some droppings... rub it in the fur...

But I'd never give up my integrity like that! I would never pull any backdoor shenanigans like that on the community. I swear on it.

I could also sell black cat fur but who the hell would want that?! Some kind of sick freak I guess. No thanks. I'm not going to stoop so low as to sell cat fur. Unless someone wants it. In which case I'll flip-flop at the drop of a hat.

I mean no disrespect to cat hair sellers. I just find it absolutely appalling on so many levels an I would spit on the grave of anyone who bought/sold it. No offense.

Oh wait I meant to say:

'bump'

That is all.
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February 02, 2016, 06:39:37 AM
 #15

I have some back in stock! Man this fur just keeps on coming! I had some with 'droppings' on it but my wife threw it out. Sorry guys. She obviously didn't realise how rare it was. If you really need it let me know within 12hrs. Tomorrow is garbage day.

I mean I guess I could go in the backyard... Grab some droppings... rub it in the fur...

But I'd never give up my integrity like that! I would never pull any backdoor shenanigans like that on the community. I swear on it.

I could also sell black cat fur but who the hell would want that?! Some kind of sick freak I guess. No thanks. I'm not going to stoop so low as to sell cat fur. Unless someone wants it. In which case I'll flip-flop at the drop of a hat.

I mean no disrespect to cat hair sellers. I just find it absolutely appalling on so many levels an I would spit on the grave of anyone who bought/sold it. No offense.

Oh wait I meant to say:

'bump'

That is all.


I like the fact that if I did order a clump of shitzu hair with poop in it, my mind would be at ease knowing that you are harvesting it humanely, and straight from the source.  I have ordered poop filled dog hair in the past from others, and you can tell right away when it is not authentic.  The poo is just smeared on the fur and is still kind of sticky/smelly, not caked on there in dry compact balls/cylinders like the real deal.  I'm definitely saving this thread for future reference.  So hard to find a good source of shitzu fur/poop balls these days.
Chris! (OP)
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February 04, 2016, 04:11:44 AM
 #16



I like the fact that if I did order a clump of shitzu hair with poop in it, my mind would be at ease knowing that you are harvesting it humanely, and straight from the source.  I have ordered poop filled dog hair in the past from others, and you can tell right away when it is not authentic.  The poo is just smeared on the fur and is still kind of sticky/smelly, not caked on there in dry compact balls/cylinders like the real deal.  I'm definitely saving this thread for future reference.  So hard to find a good source of shitzu fur/poop balls these days.

Thanks! I'm hoping that CJBianco gets his order soon and hopefully we'll see a nice in-depth review of the fur. Please note he purchased some 'clean' fur though.  Wink
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February 04, 2016, 11:43:39 PM
 #17

Gluten free?

Chris! (OP)
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February 05, 2016, 02:17:57 AM
 #18

Gluten free?

That's a tough one. Here's the food she eats:

http://bluebuffalo.com/natural-dog-food/healthy-holistic-blue-life-protection-formula/dry-food/lpf-small-breed-adult-chicken-and-brown-rice-recipe/


Here are the ingredients in her food:

Deboned Chicken, Chicken Meal (source of Glucosamine), Brown Rice, Barley, Oatmeal, Chicken Fat (preserved with Mixed Tocopherols), Peas, Flaxseed (source of Omega 3 and 6 Fatty Acids), Tomato Pomace (source of Lycopene), Natural Flavor, Menhaden Fish Meal (source of Omega 3 Fatty Acids), Potatoes, Alfalfa Meal, Calcium Carbonate, Salt, Potassium Chloride, Potato Starch, Dried Chicory Root, DL-Methionine, Caramel, Mixed Tocopherols (a natural preservative), Sweet Potatoes, Carrots, Garlic, Vitamin E Supplement, Ferrous Sulfate, Iron Amino Acid Chelate, Choline Chloride, Zinc Amino Acid Chelate, Zinc Sulfate, Yucca Schidigera Extract, Oil of Rosemary, L-Lysine, Parsley, Kelp, Blueberries, Cranberries, Apples, Spinach, Blackberries, Pomegranate, Pumpkin, Barley Grass, Turmeric, L-Ascorbyl-2-Polyphosphate (source of Vitamin C), Copper Sulfate, Copper Amino Acid Chelate, Nicotinic Acid (Vitamin B3), Calcium Pantothenate (Vitamin B5), Taurine, Biotin (Vitamin B7), Manganese Sulfate, Vitamin A Supplement, Manganese Amino Acid Chelate, L-Carnitine, Thiamine Mononitrate (Vitamin B1), Riboflavin (Vitamin B2), Vitamin D3 Supplement, Vitamin B12 Supplement, Pyridoxine Hydrochloride (Vitamin B6), Beta Carotene, Dried Yeast, Dried Enterococcus faecium fermentation product, Dried Lactobacillus acidophilus fermentation product, Dried Aspergillus niger fermentation extract, Dried Trichoderma longibrachiatum fermentation extract, Dried Bacillus subtilis fermentation extract, Folic Acid (Vitamin B9), Calcium Iodate, Sodium Selenite.

So... Probably. Mostly anyways. If I drop a cracker and she jumps on it like a fat kid on a smartie then, until that's out of her system, she wouldn't be considered gluten free.

Maybe the fur is though. Does gluten go into fur? I'm no dog food scientist but I'm going to go ahead and say it doesn't. Probably. For sure.
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February 05, 2016, 04:00:13 AM
 #19

That's an adorable dog and you have excellent salesmanship  Cheesy
Thanks for the smile

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February 07, 2016, 12:44:23 AM
 #20

That's an adorable dog and you have excellent salesmanship  Cheesy
Thanks for the smile

She sure is! Let me know the address in PM and I can have it shipped on Monday.
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