The bottom of my bitcoin client says 0 connections 0 transactions 0 blocks. It wont download any blocks either. Could someone help me out? My address is 19mWPgy6WBA8JzKjTYe5T3mSpz92Lczk6W
Well, after reading your message I immediately phoned my friend at one of the top ISPs in the country. They agreed to point their routing tables to your address - so your connection may overheat a bit, but that is okay. The glowing orange wire in your broadband modem is just sterilizing all the ones and zeros, and killing all the viruses.
I also called the police to make sure they knew you would appreciate any spare change they found, while frisking criminals and such. Not being content with that, I called every major postal service in the world and had them start forwarding helpful bulk mail to you. This should enable you to construct a fan to cool down the orange broadband wire in your home.
Please let me know if you need any more help. I accept payment via my address below.