Wedding talk a guys point of view.

[adamstgBit]

I dont want to get married
It's not so much the idea of committing to 1 person
It's more about the extravagant amount of money wasted.
My GF says shes wants a wedding of ~100 people
Some preliminary planning shows her unwillingness to cut cost here or there, she wants to full package and the fact that she doesn't have the money to pay for it dosnt seem to factor into her thinking.
She says things like "your supposed to spend 3 months salary on a wedding ring"

I feel i should run away,  should i GTFO of there?

[1714693949]

1714693949

[BlockEye]

I dont want to get married
It's not so much the idea of committing to 1 person
It's more about the extravagant amount of money wasted.
My GF says shes wants a wedding of ~100 people
Some preliminary planning shows her unwillingness to cut cost here or there, she wants to full package and the fact that she doesn't have the money to pay for it dosnt seem to factor into her thinking.
She says things like "your supposed to spend 3 months salary on a wedding ring"

I feel i should run away,  should i GTFO of there?

I would say invest more on the video ad photography because this is the one the will be watched by those who cant attend.
Cut costs by inviting only those who you see more often than those who you see once every year.
Yes invest in the wedding ring, you don't want to see a crappy looking ring after 10 years.

[adamstgBit]

when the idea of marriage come into this, i'm just not sure i want to do it.
I'm not religious ( at all )
I view marriage as a ....... liability!
I don't WANT to do it, but she really wants to, and i love her and  assume we will spend many many happy years together
but i'm not sure thats a good enough reason to get married.
what if we get married and she changes and like becomes a bitch.
why why why would i want to setup this potential trap?

[MisO69]

She says things like "your supposed to spend 3 months salary on a wedding ring" 

[gentlemand]

Sounds like it's all about being the centre of attention more than anything. You can get married for whatever the paperwork costs and nothing more. And if anyone came out with that 3 month salary line to me I'd probably vomit in their face and run away into the night.

If you do decide to get married just tell all the people and places you're booking that it's for a charity event and it'll all cost about 3 times less.

Would I ever marry anyone? Never ever ever ever ever ever. I've seen what happens when it goes tits up. But I wish joy to anyone who does.

[Das]

Marriage does give peace and stability to a man.

You don't want your children living with someone they are not married to for the rest of their lives, do you?

So teach your children by example.

[adamstgBit]

You don't want your children living with someone they are not married to for the rest of their lives, do you?

not sure this is such a bad thing.

[naypalm]

Go get some strippers, woo woo I'm a railroad.

All silliness aside, let your girlfriend know that this is something to plan and save up to. 100+ people weddings can be quite the financial strain.

[vokain]

“Never marry at all, Dorian. Men marry because they are tired, women, because they are curious: both are disappointed.”

 



http://www.unmarried.org/marriage-quotes/
This was a good one: “I am” is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that “I do” is the longest sentence?


Good luck bro!

[mv__]

I dont want to get married
It's not so much the idea of committing to 1 person
It's more about the extravagant amount of money wasted.
My GF says shes wants a wedding of ~100 people
Some preliminary planning shows her unwillingness to cut cost here or there, she wants to full package and the fact that she doesn't have the money to pay for it dosnt seem to factor into her thinking.
She says things like "your supposed to spend 3 months salary on a wedding ring"

I feel i should run away,  should i GTFO of there?

You should take full control and cut those expenses to moderate rate. If she can boss around you in this then your marriage won't last.

[vokain]

What if we figured out anti-aging and you could live forever? Does that change your views on marriage? Considering that scale, a wedding doesn't really cost that much.

[edgar]

No.

complete waste of money, unless you're loaded.

even then, NO.

unless she's still a virgin, and unlikely to give it up otherwise.

in fact even then - no.

what is there to think about?

is her family loaded?

are they covering all costs?

will they reimburse you when she wants a divorce and half your shit?

all the way no

[tiffyroman]

No.

complete waste of money, unless you're loaded.

even then, NO.

unless she's still a virgin, and unlikely to give it up otherwise.

in fact even then - no.

what is there to think about?

is her family loaded?

are they covering all costs?

will they reimburse you when she wants a divorce and half your shit?

all the way no

Seriously!? Being a virgin is a factor to consider in a marriage!? Are you absolutely serious!?

[edgar]

No.

complete waste of money, unless you're loaded.

even then, NO.

unless she's still a virgin, and unlikely to give it up otherwise.

in fact even then - no.

what is there to think about?

is her family loaded?

are they covering all costs?

will they reimburse you when she wants a divorce and half your shit?

all the way no

Seriously!? Being a virgin is a factor to consider in a marriage!? Are you absolutely serious!?

not really, i was just trying to think of reasons anyone would want to throw their money/freedom away on an expensive farce..

if fanatical muslims are willing to die for the lure of virgins & africans rape virgins in the vain hope of curing their AIDS, perhaps it could be seen as a reason to marry - im pretty sure that was a thing before the internet

[adamstgBit]

who would agree to this ridiculous bet!?


her friend is getting married.
she's very adamant about getting married.
saying no is break up material.

i have a feeling this will be me in about a year...

[adamstgBit]

Considering that scale, a wedding doesn't really cost that much.

true ~100 people wedding is small ( maybe on the larger spectrum of "small wedding"?? )
but if selling your left kidney wont cover the cost... i think its considered "expensive".

What if we figured out anti-aging and you could live forever? Does that change your views on marriage?

no? why would it?

[DebitMe]

I love the idea of marriage and what it means for two people, I hate what the wedding industry has done to it.  My wife and I got married last September and I am extremely happy and fortunate to have her in my life.  We wanted our friends and family to celebrate our decision to love one another unconditionally forever, but that has a huge cost.

The people who are involved in weddings have comparable skills in my eyes to someone doing menial labor jobs, so why on earth does it cost 3k+ for someone to take a few pictures?  I understand it is more than a few pictures and they have to spend hours touching them up and making them look pretty, but lets get serious.  This is someone who bought a camera and decided they could be a photographer.  It is absolutely insane that a cake costs almost a thousand dollars.  We decided to just get a small 2 tier cake and 2 sheet cakes which stall ran almost 400 dollars, absolutely ridiculous for freaking cake.  I halfway understand catering costs, since there is a lot of prep time and work time put into the event, but sometimes it still gets ridiculous.  Ring costs are absolutely ridiculous, diamonds are fairly common outside of the United States but the big name jewelers have made it so only so many can be imported per year, driving the price to insane levels.  And probably the worst of all is the event space.  I fully have a plan to buy as many barns as humanly possible and rent them out for weddings.  We ended up paying almost 2 grand for a community center!  Next closest venue was over 4k and it only went up from there, just for a barn or room or something stupid like that.  Another terrible thing is for a DJ.  Our DJ cost about 400 dollars and was supposed to play from 5 to 11.  That is over 60 dollars an hour for someone who just hits another song on their IPOD.  Guests started showing up at 430 to 445 and my mom asked if he could start playing some light music to entertain people since he had everything set up and was just standing there and he said, verbatim, "My contract doesn't start until 5".  Get the F over yourself dude!  You are a high school drop out who pushes next on an IPOD.  Just play a damn song.

That is some of the major costs for a wedding, but don't forget the smaller costs that add up such as dresses and tuxes and gifts and rehearsal dinners and gifts for those coming from out of town at their hotels, and I am sure 100 other things I am forgetting.

The problem is that we have convinced these people who have no real marketable skills that they are in high demand for weddings and we have convinced ourselves that they are needed and there is no other way.  I would have been absolutely fine substituting half that stuff out and saving close to 10 to 15 grand on the whole thing.  But until that starts to happen, prices will continuously go up to help support the ego's of people who think they are marketable because we tell them that they are.

[adamstgBit]

...
not really, i was just trying to think of reasons anyone would want to throw their money/freedom away on an expensive farce..

the idea is that you want to have a special day where you celebrate your love.
same kind of idea as wanting to travel the world and go sightseeing.
Investing in a memories?
you can consider it a waste of money ( i do ) but i think most poeple will disagree.

my problem with marriage is 2 fold.

1) expensive, the idea of blowing huge amount of savings on 1 day makes me panic.
2) legally binding, signing on the dotted line is a big deal, with consequences if things dont work out a few years down the line... it feels like i'm signing away certain freedoms, and for what? as "proof of love"   HUH?!

[adamstgBit]

I love the idea of marriage and what it means for two people, I hate what the wedding industry has done to it.  My wife and I got married last September and I am extremely happy and fortunate to have her in my life.  We wanted our friends and family to celebrate our decision to love one another unconditionally forever, but that has a huge cost.

The people who are involved in weddings have comparable skills in my eyes to someone doing menial labor jobs, so why on earth does it cost 3k+ for someone to take a few pictures?  I understand it is more than a few pictures and they have to spend hours touching them up and making them look pretty, but lets get serious.  This is someone who bought a camera and decided they could be a photographer.  It is absolutely insane that a cake costs almost a thousand dollars.  We decided to just get a small 2 tier cake and 2 sheet cakes which stall ran almost 400 dollars, absolutely ridiculous for freaking cake.  I halfway understand catering costs, since there is a lot of prep time and work time put into the event, but sometimes it still gets ridiculous.  Ring costs are absolutely ridiculous, diamonds are fairly common outside of the United States but the big name jewelers have made it so only so many can be imported per year, driving the price to insane levels.  And probably the worst of all is the event space.  I fully have a plan to buy as many barns as humanly possible and rent them out for weddings.  We ended up paying almost 2 grand for a community center!  Next closest venue was over 4k and it only went up from there, just for a barn or room or something stupid like that.  Another terrible thing is for a DJ.  Our DJ cost about 400 dollars and was supposed to play from 5 to 11.  That is over 60 dollars an hour for someone who just hits another song on their IPOD.  Guests started showing up at 430 to 445 and my mom asked if he could start playing some light music to entertain people since he had everything set up and was just standing there and he said, verbatim, "My contract doesn't start until 5".  Get the F over yourself dude!  You are a high school drop out who pushes next on an IPOD.  Just play a damn song.

That is some of the major costs for a wedding, but don't forget the smaller costs that add up such as dresses and tuxes and gifts and rehearsal dinners and gifts for those coming from out of town at their hotels, and I am sure 100 other things I am forgetting.

The problem is that we have convinced these people who have no real marketable skills that they are in high demand for weddings and we have convinced ourselves that they are needed and there is no other way.  I would have been absolutely fine substituting half that stuff out and saving close to 10 to 15 grand on the whole thing.  But until that starts to happen, prices will continuously go up to help support the ego's of people who think they are marketable because we tell them that they are.

[DebitMe]

I love the idea of marriage and what it means for two people, I hate what the wedding industry has done to it.  My wife and I got married last September and I am extremely happy and fortunate to have her in my life.  We wanted our friends and family to celebrate our decision to love one another unconditionally forever, but that has a huge cost.

The people who are involved in weddings have comparable skills in my eyes to someone doing menial labor jobs, so why on earth does it cost 3k+ for someone to take a few pictures?  I understand it is more than a few pictures and they have to spend hours touching them up and making them look pretty, but lets get serious.  This is someone who bought a camera and decided they could be a photographer.  It is absolutely insane that a cake costs almost a thousand dollars.  We decided to just get a small 2 tier cake and 2 sheet cakes which stall ran almost 400 dollars, absolutely ridiculous for freaking cake.  I halfway understand catering costs, since there is a lot of prep time and work time put into the event, but sometimes it still gets ridiculous.  Ring costs are absolutely ridiculous, diamonds are fairly common outside of the United States but the big name jewelers have made it so only so many can be imported per year, driving the price to insane levels.  And probably the worst of all is the event space.  I fully have a plan to buy as many barns as humanly possible and rent them out for weddings.  We ended up paying almost 2 grand for a community center!  Next closest venue was over 4k and it only went up from there, just for a barn or room or something stupid like that.  Another terrible thing is for a DJ.  Our DJ cost about 400 dollars and was supposed to play from 5 to 11.  That is over 60 dollars an hour for someone who just hits another song on their IPOD.  Guests started showing up at 430 to 445 and my mom asked if he could start playing some light music to entertain people since he had everything set up and was just standing there and he said, verbatim, "My contract doesn't start until 5".  Get the F over yourself dude!  You are a high school drop out who pushes next on an IPOD.  Just play a damn song.

That is some of the major costs for a wedding, but don't forget the smaller costs that add up such as dresses and tuxes and gifts and rehearsal dinners and gifts for those coming from out of town at their hotels, and I am sure 100 other things I am forgetting.

The problem is that we have convinced these people who have no real marketable skills that they are in high demand for weddings and we have convinced ourselves that they are needed and there is no other way.  I would have been absolutely fine substituting half that stuff out and saving close to 10 to 15 grand on the whole thing.  But until that starts to happen, prices will continuously go up to help support the ego's of people who think they are marketable because we tell them that they are.

Don't forget you get a lot of presents though.  We received back in cash/checks/returns about what we spent on the wedding.  Plus all the stuff we didn't return.  (we had some help from both sets of parents for the wedding, so we got back about what we personally spent on it).