Top 10 reasons why BFL will postpone their March 2013 shipping date

[Frizz23]

I start:

#10: Josh died in a plane crash on his way to the Humping facility, and Sonny does not have the logins for all the fake accounts (BFL_Jody,
BFL AM Dave, BFL_Engineer, BFL_StevenM, SLok, ...) to keep the story going on.


[EDIT] ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
And the winner is - AGAIN - Josh/Inaba: Ship? Why would we ship? I generate enough sales from being an asshole on Bitcointalk. Why would we ever ship?



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Archive:
Top 10 reasons why BFL will postpone their January 2013 shipping date
Top 10 reasons why BFL will postpone their February 2013 shipping date

[PuertoLibre]

#9

People wised up in March 2013. They came to the realization that no [sensible] company writes [nor offers a proverbial] "blank check" to get premium services done on time.

The Wisest of BFL customers realized that costs and margins of releasing a product prohibit a "blank" check. (Be it a bumping/packaging facility or a Fab conducting a so-called "Bullet Run"...)

There are only so many dollars you can spend within the scope of a project before you become unprofitable and are left unable to continue production of said product.

================================

Edit: If there are 1000 orders and a total of 1 million in funds. Lets say 75% of it is pure profit.

Every week that:
--6 [Full time] Customer Services agents
--A half-dozen well paid higher staff management team
--A few misc assemblers or contractors work on site setting up equipment.

Means that the total part of the PROFIT PIE shrinks ever more.

Multiply an assumed income by various staff and the time frame of their employment and you have a bucket with a hole in the bottom. Coin (USD or BTC) is constantly flowing out into the pockets of staff.

Assuming they don't make minimum wage...that's alot of money being paid out each month.

Add to this the refunds that occur sporadically with a revolving door policy...and you can plainly see why writing blank checks is likely a very bold lie. Unless you want the bumping and packaging facility to charge you for the entire days worth of profit and pull people from different sectors to work only for your 6 wafers.....I have news for you [veiled as speculation] that there is BS running down hill towards customers.

[Logik]

#8:

Reason #8 has been delayed. Here is the breakdown

Week of January 13th
Travel to writing facility for final prep and walkthrough
Confirm travel plans and trip details with lead joke engineer for trip to Bitcointalk.org

Week of January 20th
Final assembly writing facility prep
Leave for Bitcointalk.org at the end of the week

Week of January 26th
Final posts roll off the line
Grab chicken suit, an old Toyota or a Nissan and make a break for the airport, Ronin style
Arrive California at post packaging plant
KC facility starts assembly process of posts to drop letters into

Week of February 3rd
Posts packaged
Packaged posts sent to writing house
Assembled post is set for final testing and spell checking
Notify thread subscribers to start sending their quotes an PMs for trade in participants
Bulk assembled posts arrive in KC, we start dropping posts into waiting thread
Boxing/labeling for posting

Week of February 10th
We implement the 1/3 posting plan en mass
1/3 of our posting units will go to new orders in FIFO
1/3 of our posting units will go to upgrade orders
1/3 will be randomly selected from both groups

We descend upon the PHP scripts like a horde of angry locust

Our timeline is still on target to post reason #8 for the week of the 10th, probably towards the later part of the week. If the worst case scenario in every step comes to pass, we are looking at starting posting around Monday the 18th. Best case scenario we will start posting around Wednesday the 13th or Thursday the 14th. This is, of course, subject to change, but I will keep everyone updated when/if there are any changes.

[Dalkore]

#7 - Attorney General files and injunction order against BFL effectively immediately.  This order stops all production.

[Bicknellski]

#6  Trying to break the world record for consecutive postponements by any tech company. Only need 1 more to tie Microsoft and Blackberry.

[edd]

#5 - One last test of chips reveals a tiny flaw that results in only 99.99% of expected efficiency. Total redesign and re-manufacture ordered to ensure customers receive best possible product. New release TBA.

[PuertoLibre]

#4

March 13th, 2013.

Josh was driving the chips to Chicago for final assembly and went missing. We suppose he left for Havanna, Cuba.

Please do not Panic, we have 66,000 more chips on standby, it will only take 3 more months. BFL Steven Sonny will take over as COO in the interim.

Sonny is our new courier! (With 66k chips in tow!)

[Cablez]

#3

BFL decided to add MOAR Clock Buffers(TM) because............well why not?

[johnyj]

#2
Avalon have not shipped any thing by end of March, and most of ASICMINER's chips burned after initial weeks of test

[drakness]

#1 Ineptitude

[vapourminer]

# 0

due to the chip redesign, the chip now sits too high and no longer will allow the HSF to fit in the case.

4-6 week delay to sand down the tops of 6000 5000 chips.

this is also the real reason for burning a wafer; less chips to sand.

[Bicknellski]

#2
Avalon have not shipped any thing by end of March, and most of ASICMINER's chips burned after initial weeks of test

Wishful thinking.

[poon-TANG]

#1

Should be.....

So PuertoLibre can have a life. HAHA    Without trolling the BFL forums/threads he has no purpose...don't believe me check any BFL thread.

[PuertoLibre]

#1

Should be.....

So PuertoLibre can have a life. HAHA    Without trolling the BFL forums/threads he has no purpose...don't believe me check any BFL thread.

Hehe,
Compare to you who has been coming on for 8 months and just only recently saw the chip being tested on what you bought. Quick, hold your breath and hope it meets specs. (or just works at the very least?)



<Reserved space for future taunting/laughing if the chips fails the specs check>

[Frizz23]

# -99: Ship? Why would we ship? I generate enough sales from being an asshole on Bitcointalk. Why would we ever ship?