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Author Topic: Jesus sucks.  (Read 1774 times)
thepwnorbpwnd (OP)
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March 05, 2013, 05:47:38 AM
 #1

Now that I have your attention I would like to bring an offer forward.

I have a roomate/cousin's wife that is a complete go whore(won't listen to any music that isn't christian rap, christian rock, god metal, etc) and I need a way to either piss her ff and tell her that sh- Long story short, she's an extremist and I want to see how much I can fuck with her.

I already tried the good ole listen to slayer so she complains about the ''satanic sounds'' and then tell her half the members are christian/catholic but nothing was really stirred about with that.


Current bounty is 10 litecoins. Payment will be made if solution/method pleases me or is successful.

str4wm4n
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March 05, 2013, 05:59:21 AM
 #2

you sir, need a new hobby
thepwnorbpwnd (OP)
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March 05, 2013, 06:06:44 AM
 #3

you sir, need a new hobby

This is what I do when I wait for a new job, is piss people off. My new job will basically force me to be out of the house 24/5 from the amount of money I'll be raking in. :3
DPony13
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March 05, 2013, 06:19:02 AM
 #4

Youtube:

Rucka Rucka Ali - Let's Go Jesus

EndTheFed123, if you had just taken the money it wouldn't have ended like this Sad
BTW this hasn't been the real DPony13 since he "came back", I just hacked this account, SirLolicon is the real DPony13 I think.
Monster Tent
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March 05, 2013, 06:21:49 AM
 #5

Leave hardcore porn and gore  all over the house.

foggyb
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March 05, 2013, 06:33:58 AM
 #6

You're acting like a child.

"But the natural man does not receive the things of the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him; nor can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned."

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Monster Tent
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March 05, 2013, 06:35:50 AM
 #7

Play some muslim music because nothing pisses off a hardcore religious nut than someone who believes in a different god than they do.

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March 05, 2013, 06:51:02 AM
 #8

There's a movie called 'The Man From Earth'.  It's on Netflix.  Get it and sit down for a Movie Night with her, have some popcorn and drinks...
A short description of the movie from Wiki...

The Man from Earth is a 2007 science fiction film written by Jerome Bixby and directed by Richard Schenkman. The film stars David Lee Smith as John Oldman, the protagonist of the story. The screenplay for this movie was conceived by Jerome Bixby in the early 1960s and was completed on his death bed in April 1998, making it his final piece of work. The movie gained recognition in part for being widely distributed through Internet peer-to-peer networks and its producer publicly thanked users of these networks for this. The film was later adapted by Schenkman into a stage play of the same name.
 
The plot focuses on John Oldman, a departing university professor who claims to be a Cro-Magnon (or Magdalenian caveman) who has somehow survived for over 14,000 years. The only setting is in and around Oldman's house during his farewell party, with the plot advancing through intellectual arguments between Oldman and his fellow faculty members. The movie is comprised almost entirely of dialogue



Doesn't sound like it will bother her, Right?  Wrong... it emerges in the story as a complete twist that the Oldman character was in the Holy Land teaching after coming back from India studying under Buddha and was in fact the inspiration for the story of Jesus and basically rips apart most religious philosophy.

I watched it with some 'friends' who happen to be 'evangelicals'... I haven't seen them in a while...    Grin

Also, it's just a damn good Sci-Fi movie.
neotrix
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March 05, 2013, 09:24:47 AM
 #9

You can request her about Jesus, her idol apparently. Request her why the history showed like 20 prophet with same story....a mother virgin called maria, 3 stars, born 25 december....Exemple Hindu deity Krishna has exactly same born story of Jesus... Well It should make her angry as nothing make more angry someone than prooving him he's maybe in the wrong way... Anyway  thats a bit child attitude and religion is the choice of each... I wont personnaly play with that as I do respect choice of people about that but if you really want to...give a try to enlighment...

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March 05, 2013, 09:26:17 AM
 #10

There's a movie called 'The Man From Earth'.  It's on Netflix.  Get it and sit down for a Movie Night with her, have some popcorn and drinks...
A short description of the movie from Wiki...

The Man from Earth is a 2007 science fiction film written by Jerome Bixby and directed by Richard Schenkman. The film stars David Lee Smith as John Oldman, the protagonist of the story. The screenplay for this movie was conceived by Jerome Bixby in the early 1960s and was completed on his death bed in April 1998, making it his final piece of work. The movie gained recognition in part for being widely distributed through Internet peer-to-peer networks and its producer publicly thanked users of these networks for this. The film was later adapted by Schenkman into a stage play of the same name.
 
The plot focuses on John Oldman, a departing university professor who claims to be a Cro-Magnon (or Magdalenian caveman) who has somehow survived for over 14,000 years. The only setting is in and around Oldman's house during his farewell party, with the plot advancing through intellectual arguments between Oldman and his fellow faculty members. The movie is comprised almost entirely of dialogue



Doesn't sound like it will bother her, Right?  Wrong... it emerges in the story as a complete twist that the Oldman character was in the Holy Land teaching after coming back from India studying under Buddha and was in fact the inspiration for the story of Jesus and basically rips apart most religious philosophy.

I watched it with some 'friends' who happen to be 'evangelicals'... I haven't seen them in a while...    Grin

Also, it's just a damn good Sci-Fi movie.


#2
#3
#4 through 10

recommending this.
gambit
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March 05, 2013, 09:41:13 AM
Last edit: March 05, 2013, 09:59:04 AM by gambit
 #11

The best way is to use her own weapons in this "fight".

Print an image similar to this one and put it in the bathroom  Grin
http://cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/35710581.jpg

Exploit the bible passages to let her know she is a sinner. Cheesy

Also you should read this conversation between God and PhilosoRaptor http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/4527372_700b_v1.jpg  Grin
thepwnorbpwnd (OP)
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March 05, 2013, 09:49:35 AM
 #12

The best way is to use her own weapons in this "fight".

Print an image similar to this one and put it in the bathroom  Grin
http://cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/35710581.jpg

Exploit the bible passages to let her know she is a sinner. Cheesy

Already did the whole quote the bible thing.

And Jesus fuck. I'll try each and every one tomorrow, given they don't call me into the new job for my piss test I'll have plenty of time to have fun. Definitely trying the song by Rucka Rucka Ali.
Monster Tent
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March 05, 2013, 09:55:05 AM
 #13

There's a movie called 'The Man From Earth'.  It's on Netflix.  Get it and sit down for a Movie Night with her, have some popcorn and drinks...
A short description of the movie from Wiki...

The Man from Earth is a 2007 science fiction film written by Jerome Bixby and directed by Richard Schenkman. The film stars David Lee Smith as John Oldman, the protagonist of the story. The screenplay for this movie was conceived by Jerome Bixby in the early 1960s and was completed on his death bed in April 1998, making it his final piece of work. The movie gained recognition in part for being widely distributed through Internet peer-to-peer networks and its producer publicly thanked users of these networks for this. The film was later adapted by Schenkman into a stage play of the same name.
 
The plot focuses on John Oldman, a departing university professor who claims to be a Cro-Magnon (or Magdalenian caveman) who has somehow survived for over 14,000 years. The only setting is in and around Oldman's house during his farewell party, with the plot advancing through intellectual arguments between Oldman and his fellow faculty members. The movie is comprised almost entirely of dialogue



Doesn't sound like it will bother her, Right?  Wrong... it emerges in the story as a complete twist that the Oldman character was in the Holy Land teaching after coming back from India studying under Buddha and was in fact the inspiration for the story of Jesus and basically rips apart most religious philosophy.

I watched it with some 'friends' who happen to be 'evangelicals'... I haven't seen them in a while...    Grin

Also, it's just a damn good Sci-Fi movie.


The second zeitgeist movie is another good one well at least the first half

bushstar
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March 05, 2013, 01:36:42 PM
Last edit: August 27, 2017, 04:00:18 PM by bushstar
 #14

Just talk about homosexuals as all Christians I have come across think this is an abomination for some reason. I like to put it like this. Do you think that Jesus, in amongst all his preachings of man being equal and treating other like you want to be treated yourself said, "Oh and by the way, stone all the gays". That seems like an unlikely thing for the Jesus we imagine to say and would indeed seem an ugly thing to have come from his mouth.

The old testament said the following which is what most Christians cite when hating on gays.

Leviticus 20:13 If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall surely be put to death; their blood is upon them

Leviticus also said the following. Use at your leisure to ridicule the above 20:13.

Don't let cattle graze with other kinds of Cattle (Leviticus 19:19)
Don't have a variety of crops on the same field. (Leviticus 19:19)
Don't wear clothes made of more than one fabric (Leviticus 19:19)
Don't cut your hair nor shave. (Leviticus 19:27)
Any person who curseth his mother or father, must be killed. (Leviticus 20:9)
If a man cheats on his wife, or vise versa, both the man and the woman must die. (Leviticus 20:10)
If a man sleeps with his father's wife... both him and his father's wife is to be put to death. (Leviticus 20:11)
If a man sleeps with his wife and her mother they are all to be burnt to death.  (Leviticus 20:14)
If a man or woman has sex with an animal, both human and animal must be killed. (Leviticus 20:15-16)
If a man has sex with a woman on her period, they are both to be "cut off from their people" (Leviticus 20:18)
Psychics, wizards, and so on are to be stoned to death.  (Leviticus 20:27)
If a priest's daughter is a whore, she is to be burnt at the stake.  (Leviticus 21:9)
People who have flat noses, or is blind or lame, cannot go to an altar of God (Leviticus 21:17-18)
Anyone who curses or blasphemes God, should be stoned to death by the community.  (Leviticus 24:14-16)
Don't let cattle graze with other kinds of Cattle (Leviticus 19:19)


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March 05, 2013, 03:30:15 PM
 #15

eh NT had some pretty harsh words against gay like forsaking the natural use of the woman anf burning in thier lust for one another or something

so your view of JHC is pretty USA'd.....I mean the guy made a corded whip and beat the bankers out of the temple...sort like BTC when you think about it, he told his "best mate" that he would be knifed by him etc etc


Anyway let go through this list

The old testament said the following which is what most Christians cite when hating on gays.

Leviticus 20:13 If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall surely be put to death; their blood is upon them {Agree, stops disease}

Leviticus also said the following. Use at your leisure to ridicule the above 20:13.

Don't let cattle graze with other kinds of Cattle (Leviticus 19:19)
{they were quite good a genetics see how Abraham bread a good stock from his uncle }


Don't have a variety of crops on the same field. (Leviticus 19:19)
{Agree, think this was with rotation thing}

Don't wear clothes made of more than one fabric (Leviticus 19:19)
{Agree, itchy}

Don't cut your hair nor shave. (Leviticus 19:27)
{Nope and was this for just the levites...also would if I could be sampson and bang delilah}

Any person who curseth his mother or father, must be killed. (Leviticus 20:9)
{Fair enough unless your fathers a dick}


If a man cheats on his wife, or vise versa, both the man and the woman must die. (Leviticus 20:10)
{Fair enough I can be polygamist remember and have losta hot sex}

If a man sleeps with his father's wife... both him and his father's wife is to be put to death. (Leviticus 20:11)
{Fair enough that's pretty fucked up}

If a man sleeps with his wife and her mother they are all to be burnt to death.  (Leviticus 20:14)
{Nope}


If a man or woman has sex with an animal, both human and animal must be killed. (Leviticus 20:15-16)
{YES MAY HAVE STOPPED AIDS AND TRANSMISSION OF XENO DISEASES}

If a man has sex with a woman on her period, they are both to be "cut off from their people" (Leviticus 20:18)
{?Huh? who would want to....also unhygienic}

Psychics, wizards, and so on are to be stoned to death.  (Leviticus 20:27)
{yeah they detract from science}

If a priest's daughter is a whore, she is to be burnt at the stake.  (Leviticus 21:9)
{nope.jpg very wrong...she can be a whore if she wants}

People who have flat noses, or is blind or lame, cannot go to an altar of God (Leviticus 21:17-18)
{stigmatizes them more so they wont breed good for genes}


Anyone who curses or blasphemes God, should be stoned to death by the community.  (Leviticus 24:14-16)
{Nothing like a bit of community activity}

Don't let cattle graze with other kinds of Cattle (Leviticus 19:19)
{seems ok}



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thepwnorbpwnd (OP)
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March 06, 2013, 06:42:10 PM
 #16

I tried almost all of these, some of the good ones twice and nothing worked as far as making her pissed off. She just left the house for a few hours(presumably to a nearby church) after I fucked with her a few times.
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March 06, 2013, 06:46:37 PM
 #17

Every time you do something for her say, It was my pleasure.
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March 06, 2013, 06:58:16 PM
 #18

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ezQjNJUSraY

It's an hour long but she'll be good and pissed after 15 minutes of it.
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March 06, 2013, 07:50:49 PM
 #19

There's a movie called 'The Man From Earth'. Also, it's just a damn good Sci-Fi movie.
Thanks for the referral. I couldn't vouch for "Jesus-freak-repeal-factor", but it is indeed an entertaining sci-fi story. Fiii-Fuuu-Fiii...

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Long-term mining prognosis: https://bitcointalk.org/index.php?topic=91101.0
thepwnorbpwnd (OP)
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March 06, 2013, 10:36:11 PM
 #20

Every time you do something for her say, It was my pleasure.

Thas just creepy.
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