kokjo (OP)
Legendary
Offline
Activity: 1050
Merit: 1000
You are WRONG!
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March 31, 2013, 08:18:43 PM |
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SOCIALISM You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbour
COMMUNISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk
FASCISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk
NAZISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you
BUREAUCRATISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income
VENTURE CAPITALISM You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public then buys your bull.
SURREALISM You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.
A GREEK CORPORATION You have two cows. You borrow lots of euros to build barns, milking sheds, hay stores, feed sheds, dairies, cold stores, abattoir, cheese unit and packing sheds. You still only have two cows.
A FRENCH CORPORATION You have two cows. You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called a Cowkimona and market it worldwide.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You decide to have lunch.
A SWISS CORPORATION You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity. You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You worship them.
A BRITISH CORPORATION You have two cows. Both are mad.
AN IRAQI CORPORATION Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the ** out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy.
AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows. Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION You have two cows. The one on the left looks very attractive...
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"The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves and wiser people so full of doubts." -Bertrand Russell
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Mike Christ
aka snapsunny
Legendary
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Activity: 1078
Merit: 1003
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March 31, 2013, 08:30:42 PM |
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AN ITALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You decide to have lunch. Too funny
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aigeezer
Legendary
Offline
Activity: 1450
Merit: 1013
Cryptanalyst castrated by his government, 1952
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March 31, 2013, 08:56:51 PM |
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Nice modern spin on an old joke! I love the VENTURE CAPITALISM
Suggested ism additions: Catholicism, terrorism, and of course libertarianism. Perhaps McCarthyism for the nostalgic.
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dotcom
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April 01, 2013, 02:33:34 AM |
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VENTURE CAPITALISM You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public then buys your bull.
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nimda
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April 01, 2013, 02:46:22 AM |
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AN ITALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You decide to have lunch. That was unexpected
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Jocky
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April 01, 2013, 08:24:44 PM |
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Bitcoin: You have two cows, nobody really understand how they work but you'll have to shut down every farm in existance in order to shut that cow down. And if you forget their names, they'll seize to exist forever.
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myrkul
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April 01, 2013, 08:29:49 PM |
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Bitcoin: You have two cows, nobody really understand how they work but you'll have to shut down every farm in existance in order to shut that cow down. And if you forget their names, they'll seize to exist forever.
Nice! Cyprus: You have two cows. The government takes your cows. When you ask where the cows are, you are told they were slaughtered. In return, they give you a hamburger.
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kokjo (OP)
Legendary
Offline
Activity: 1050
Merit: 1000
You are WRONG!
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April 01, 2013, 08:30:40 PM |
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Bitcoin: You have two cows, nobody really understand how they work but you'll have to shut down every farm in existance in order to shut that cow down. And if you forget their names, they'll seize to exist forever.
Nice! Cyprus: You have two cows. The government takes your cows. When you ask where the cows are, you are told they were slaughtered. In return, they give you a hamburger with horse. fixed!
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"The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves and wiser people so full of doubts." -Bertrand Russell
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Ekaros
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April 01, 2013, 08:48:26 PM |
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You have 2 cows Your neighbor comes kills you and takes your cows You are dead Hmm, now what is this?
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myrkul
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April 01, 2013, 08:51:05 PM |
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You have 2 cows Your neighbor comes kills you and takes your cows You are dead Hmm, now what is this? A crime.
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Garr255
Legendary
Offline
Activity: 938
Merit: 1000
What's a GPU?
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April 01, 2013, 08:56:12 PM |
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Haha thanks for this thread
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“First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.” -- Mahatma Gandhi
Average time between signing on to bitcointalk: Two weeks. Please don't expect responses any faster than that!
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zif33rs
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April 01, 2013, 08:56:40 PM |
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Thanks for the laugh kokjo...good stuff.
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New to bitcoin? Want to mine? Not sure where to start out? Check out www.hostedmining.comDonations and Tips btc - 1MkjKHpZbSaRepeYaAcmRMcqt8o3HKQCF ltc - LNz48TP8MZmke38qbZD5gXi53KrktbJG7V ftc - 6iDt92cyDvxXkrDhCzMh4zEmK1b9PqShs4
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laura2010
Newbie
Offline
Activity: 7
Merit: 0
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April 02, 2013, 12:52:35 PM |
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Hahah yeah that's true, especially in italy
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Britainacoin
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April 03, 2013, 12:07:16 PM |
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AN IRAQI CORPORATION Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the ** out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy.
But it was just democracy-tipped cruise missiles the US fired at the Iraqi population, wasnt it? It surely can't be the case that the US would indiscriminately bomb a bustling capital city. Any videos of Baghdad being bombarded are clearly just propaganda.
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Stunna
Legendary
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Activity: 3192
Merit: 1279
Primedice.com, Stake.com
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April 03, 2013, 03:55:08 PM |
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hahaha, my favorite is Greece.
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Littleshop
Legendary
Offline
Activity: 1386
Merit: 1004
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April 03, 2013, 10:25:40 PM |
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A JAPANESE CORPORATION You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called a Cowkimona and market it worldwide. They are Radioactive but nobody cares.
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veteranBtc
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April 04, 2013, 10:00:59 AM |
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NAZISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.
These are the best!
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Elwar
Legendary
Offline
Activity: 3598
Merit: 2386
Viva Ut Vivas
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April 06, 2013, 02:23:21 AM |
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Bitcoin: You have two cows that create milk at 60kmL/day. You mine the milk and hoard it while talking up how great milk is. The price of milk skyrockets and you stockpile more and more. On paper you are the richest farmer in your village. To be continued...
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First seastead company actually selling sea homes: Ocean Builders https://ocean.builders Of course we accept bitcoin.
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myrkul
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April 06, 2013, 02:37:43 AM |
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Bitcoin: You have two cows that create milk at 60kmL/day. You mine the milk and hoard it while talking up how great milk is. The price of milk skyrockets and you stockpile more and more. On paper you are the richest farmer in your village. To be continued... 60 kmL? mine milk?
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Jobe7
Full Member
Offline
Activity: 238
Merit: 100
Now they are thinking what to do with me
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April 06, 2013, 10:01:23 AM |
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Bitcoin: You have two cows that create milk at 60kmL/day. You mine the milk and hoard it while talking up how great milk is. The price of milk skyrockets and you stockpile more and more. On paper you are the richest farmer in your village. To be continued... 60 kmL? mine milk? I worry for his cows
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