I'm Rich, BEOTCH!

edit: APRIL FOOLS! I'm broke.
hint, look at the file name of the picture below. I pasted my testnet balance onto a screenshot of Bitcoin.

DEAL WITH IT.

I'm also giving them out, just post your address starting with the letter m or n.

Congrats man! But u shouldn't give them away. Collect 1987298 BTC more and u'll be as rich as Satoshi.

That's a lot of bitcoin right there!... Hmmmm

Let me tell you my story. My family was so poor, there was 12 of us all living in a small shed, Mom had to sell cobwebs on a street corner to raise enough cash just to feed us milk. She tragically got struck down with a boomerang last week she now needs a full bone transplant. We needs only 10 BTC to be able to afford the medical bill... please... please if you have a heart... donate some scrilla to the sig address...

plz.. Gimmie

Yours sincerely, Bonker

Dear friend,

Based on the further explicit investment information about your country from my research i wish to invest in your country under your supervision.

I am Prince Fayed W. Bolkiah, the eldest son of Prince Jeffrey Bolkiah former finance minister of Brunei, the tiny oil-rich sultanate on the Gulf Island of Borneo. I save your time by not amplifying my extended royal family history, which has already been disseminated by the international media during the controversial dispute that erupted between my father and his tepbrother, the sultan of Brunei Sheik Muda Hassanal Bolkiah.

As you may know from the international media,The sultan had accused my father of financial mismanagement and impropriety of BTC1.500.000 this was as a result of the Asian Financial crisis that made my father company Amedeo Development Company and government owned Brunei investment company to be declared bankrupt during his tenure in the office. However my father was kept under house arrest, his bank account and private properties including a crude oil export refinery were later confiscated by the sultanate to avoid further prosecution from the sultan and his security operatives, but before I could do that I was placed under house arrest by the sultan and not have access to phone but I have a palm V hand -held computer from which I am sending you this mail. Some of the guard here are still loyal to me, so they would be my contact with you if there is any documents I need to send to you to enable you have access to this funds and invest it for me.

Before my in-castration, I went ahead to dispatch the sum of BTC500.000 in cash under special arrangement into the custody of different private Banks and trust company's for safe keeping abroad. The money where splited and kept in the following countries, : in Canada, France, Spain, Holland andin London. Firstly, you will be required to travel to London to claim the money there before prceeding to other countries.

I seek your good assistance to invest these funds into a profitable investment in your country to facilitate future survival for my family abroad. After due deliberation with my aids we decides to offer a certain percentage to you as compensation for your co-operation and kind sincerity to carry out this assignment.

Since there will be an expenditure from your side( BTC 12.000 ), I will advice you not to worry about it because you will be reimburse any amount you may spend as to enable this transaction get to it's final dream, for both local and international expenses will be given to you back while you will be part of the beneficiary of any investment made with this cash, to add to that, I will like to let to your understand that all this is not part of your financial compensation that will be given to you.

During this dispensation Please I count on your absolute confidentiality, transparency and trust while looking forward to your prompt reply towards a swift conclusion of this transaction. Many thanks and blessing remains with you.

Finally, your financial compensation will be the 15% of the total cash. That is 15% of ( BTC 500.000 ).

Thanks.
Prince Fayed.W. Bolkiah.
Please reply here: princefayed@todito.com

Good day,

I am a, staff of Private Banking Services at the Bank of China (BOC). I am contacting you concerning our customer and, an investment placed under our banks management 6 years ago.

I would respectfully request that you keep the contents of this mail confidential and respect the integrity of the information you come by as a result of this mail. I contacted you independently of our investigation and no one is informed of this communication. I would like to intimate you with certain facts that I believe would be of interest to you.

In 2006, the subject matter; ref: bb/boc/bank/0012 came to our bank to engage in business discussions with our Private Banking Services Department. He informed us that he had a financial portfolio of 8.35 million United States Dollars, which he wished to have us turn over (invest) on his behalf.

I was the officer assigned to his case; I made numerous suggestions in line with my duties as the de-facto chief operations officer of the Private Banking Services Department, especially given the volume of funds he wished to put into our bank. We met on numerous occasions prior to any investments being placed. I encouraged him to consider various growth funds with prime ratings. The favored route in my advice to customers is to start by assessing data on 6000 traditional stocks and bond managers and 2000 managers of alternative investments. Based on my advice, we spun the money around various opportunities and made attractive margins for our first months of operation, the accrued profit and interest stood at this point at over 10 million United States Dollars, this margin was not the full potential of the fund but he desired low risk guaranteed returns on investments. In mid 2010, he asked that the money be liquidated because he needed to make an urgent investment requiring cash payments in Europe. He direc

In January last year, we got a call from the security firm informing us that the inactivity of that particular portfolio. This was an astounding position as far as I was concerned, given the fact that I managed the private banking sector I was the only one who knew about the deposit , and I could not understand why he had not come forward to claim his deposit. I made futile efforts to locate him I immediately passed the task of locating him to the internal investigations department of the bank of china. Four days later, information started to trickle in, apparently he was dead. A person who suited his description was declared dead of a heart attack in Canne, South of France. We were soon enough able to identify the body and cause of death was confirmed. The bank immediately launched an investigation into possible surviving next of kin to alert about the situation and also to come forward to claim his estate. If you are familiar with private banking affairs, those who patronize our services usually pref

In line with our internal processes for account holders who have passed away, we instituted our own investigations in good faith to determine who should have right to claim the estate. This investigation has for the past months been unfruitful. We have scanned every continent and used our private investigation affiliate companies to get to the root of the problem. The investigation did not ever yield any result My official capacity dictates that I am the only party to supervise the investigation and the only party to receive the results of the investigation. This leaves me as the only person with the full picture of what the prevailing situation is in relation to the deposit and the late beneficiary of the deposit. According to practice, the firm will by the end of this financial year broadcast a request for statements of claim to BOC, failing to receive viable claims they will most probably revert the deposit back to BOC. This will result in the money entering the BOC accounting system and the portfol

What I wish to relate to you will smack of unethical practice but I want you to understand something. It is only an outsider to the banking world who finds the internal politics of the banking world aberrational. The world of private banking especially is fraught with huge rewards for those who occupy certain offices and oversee certain portfolios. You should have begun by now to put together the general direction of what I propose. There is US$ 8,370,000.00 deposited , I alone have the deposit details and they will release the deposit to no one unless I instruct them to do so. I alone know of the existence of this deposit for as far as BOC is concerned, the transaction with our deceased customer concluded when I sent the funds to the firm, all outstanding interactions in relation to the file are just customer services and due process. They are simply awaiting instructions to release the deposit to any party that comes forward. This is the situation.

This bank has spent great amounts of money trying to track this man's family; they have investigated for months and have found no family. The investigation has come to an end.

My proposal; I am prepared to place you in a position to give instruction for the release of the deposit to you as the closest surviving relation. Upon receipt of the deposit, I am prepared to share the money with you in half. That is: I will simply nominate you as the next of kin and have them release the deposit to you. We share the proceeds 50/50.

I would have gone ahead to ask the funds be released to me, but that would have drawn a straight line to me and my involvement in claiming the deposit. I assure you that I could have the deposit released to you within a few days. I will simply inform the bank of the final closing of the file relating to the customer I will then officially communicate with firm and instruct them to release the deposit to you. With these two things: all is done. The alternative would be for us to have firm direct the funds to another bank with you as account holder. This way there will be no need for you to think of receiving the money from the firm. We can fine-tune this based on our interactions.

I am aware of the consequences of this proposal. I ask that if you find no interest in this project that you should discard this mail. I ask that you do not be vindictive and destructive. If my offer is of no appeal to you, delete this message and forget I ever contacted you. Do not destroy my career because you do not approve of my proposal. You may not know this but people like myself who have made tidy sums out of comparable situations run the whole private banking sector. I am not a criminal and what I do, I do not find against good conscience, this may be hard for you to understand, but the dynamics of my industry dictates that I make this move. Such opportunities only come ones' way once in a lifetime. I cannot let this chance pass me by, for once I find myself in total control of my destiny. These chances won't pass me by. I ask that you do not destroy my chance, if you will not work with me let me know and let me move on with my life but do not destroy me. I am a family man and this is an opportunity

If you find yourself able to work with me, contact me through this same email account. If you give me positive signals, I will initiate this process towards a conclusion. I wish to inform you that should you contact me via official channels; I will deny knowing you and about this project. I repeat, I do not want you contacting me through my official phone lines nor do I want you contacting me through my official email account. Contact me only through through this email address. I do not want any direct link between you and me. My official lines are not secure lines as they are periodically monitored to assess our level of customer care in line with our Total Quality Management Policy. Please observe this instruction religiously. Please, again, note I am a family man; I have a wife and children. I send you this mail not without a measure of fear as to what the consequences, but I know within me that nothing ventured is nothing gained and that success and riches never come easy or on a platter of gold. T

I await your response.

John wan.

-----------------------------
(It's an actual spam mail I received moments ago.)

Please do _not_ send me any amount of bitcoins.

1FdcBichMwFx6C3zjWqgC96j6FTeFocj9L

I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.

Everything down to the name is copy pasted =P. I'm no John Wan, for the record.

Spam in haiku:

help! help! i am the
crown prince of nigeria!
send me your money!

meet married women
in your town! (note: some of the
women may be men.)

make money from home!
pyramid schemes aren't illegal
if you're offshore

hung like a hamster?
pills from the internet will
up-size your johnson

Quote from: Merralea on April 01, 2013, 05:04:18 PM

I imagine this has to be the internet equivalent of taking out your dick in public.
That said, congratulations.